*Disclaimer: Bravest Warriors is created by Pendleton Ward. The idea for the story came from Breehn Burn's early pitch for the show which you can read here: doc/82294178/BW

"That's one mighty fine ham!" said Chris.

Wallow tooted in approval.

Both of them were so into smoking those mighty fine hams that they didn't hear the weee-wooo-weee-wooo (or was it beep-beeep-beeep?) coming from the invisible hide-out.

"We've got a red hawk!" Danny vigilantly shouted as he zipped down the ladder to the common room. "We've got a red hawk?" He repeated, but this time a little less vigilant since his teammates were nowhere to be found.

"What does that even mean, Danny?" Beth asked as she leisurely walked into the common room.

Danny raised one of his very thick and very sexy eyebrows at her and said: "Nice of you to drop by Tezuka. Where are the others?" And then he raised his other eyebrow so both eyebrows were sexily raised before he added: "Red hawk is code for a distress call. We already talked about this."

"Chris and Wallow are smoking hams outside." Beth simply answered. She wasn't the least bit affected by Danny's eyebrow raising. "I'm pretty sure they'll be out there till the weekend. So just answer the distress call already."

Before we jump any further into this exhilarating story, let me introduce these guys first. They're the Bravest Warriors, 16-year old heroes out saving the universe one distress call at a time using the power of their emotions; most especially Chris. Chris Kirkman, he's the emotional one. Then we have Beth Tezuka, the cute and artistic chinky-eyed female of the group who Chris is being emotional about most of the time. Of course, there's the awesome Danny Vasquez from Miami who invents most of their stuff. He somehow manages to appear cool and rebellious despite being a big nerd. And last but not the least, Wallow, the big guy with a big heart for weird creatures. He studies surgery during his free time.

With that out of the way, let's go back to where we left off.

Danny clicked on a button and a projector projected an image of a geek in battle armor.

"Bravest Warriors, we need your help!" the geek cried out.

"You sure do." Danny said before he could put a lid on his trap. Beth gave him a stern look to which he raised his hands in nonchalance.

"What's wrong, geek?" Beth blurted out that last word without meaning to (hence the usage of the term 'blurted out').

It was Danny's turn to gloat in self-righteousness as he gave Beth a sterner look, to which Beth shrugged her shoulders in nonchalance. They're mirroring each other if I haven't put that out obviously enough.

The geek, seemingly unaffected by being insulted twice, reported: "We are from P-LARP and a war is ongoing here. We need your help to bring an end to all this madness! Help us bring peace to our planet, we beseech you oh bravest of all warriors!"

"Uh, just one moment." Danny said to the geek as he grabbed Beth into a huddle of two. "I heard of these guys before. They're LARPers." he whispered.

"If we're going to have to huddle I think you have to elaborate more than that." Beth said.

"L-A-R-P stands for Live Action Role Players. These geeks have been living off in their very own planet fake-warring each other ever since they got there." Danny explained.

"So you mean, they're not really at war?" Beth asked.

"Nope." said Danny.

"And they're not really in danger or anything?"

"Nope."

"And we don't really have to take on this mission, is what you're saying?"

"Yep."

"And, why are we still huddling?"

"Oh. I don't know." With that Danny un-huddled from Beth and faced the geek again. Beth did the same thing.

"So, guy, let me put this down gently. Ya'll should just quit pretend-fighting each other and make nice! Problemo solved!" Danny told the geek with an extra dash of nice.

"Thank you for calling the Bravest Warrior's hotline! Have a nice day!" Beth chimed in and was about to press the end-call button when Danny caught her hand.

"Wait Beth, I have a funny feeling in my stomach."

Beth looked at him quizzically and said. "Do you need me to escort you to the holo-john again?"

"No-no. I think this is what peeps call guilt. I'm feeling guilty! I think we ought to at least take a look at the situation of this poor geek's planet."

"You've hanged out with Chris way too much. You're worse than a girl who PMS's."

"You mean I'm worse than you when you're PMS-y?" Danny asked sarcastically.

"I don't PMS." Beth said. "And you're right. We should get going if we want to get to P-LARP before the LARPers fake-kill each other off."

"I mean we should ask ourselves what Chris Kirkman would do in times like th—Wait, what? You're agreeing with me?" Danny was surprised.

"Computer prepare our ride, we're going on a mission!" Beth yelled out before Danny could show more of his emotions. (Boy, he is being exceptionally emotional today.)

Meanwhile, outside the Bravest Warrior's invisible hide-out, Wallow and Chris were still busy watching them mighty fine hams be smoked to perfection. They were so enthralled by the hams that they didn't even notice the ear-damaging decibel of noise from when their ship took off just moments ago.

Momentarily, Chris felt weird. "I feel weird." he said. Wallow being the gentle guy that he is took his eyes off those hams and looked at his weirded-out friend.

"I feel like I'm about to lose something I've been obsessing about for forever and I would be in so much pain that I would become some all-powerful creature doing everything in his capacity to bring back what has been lost." Chris said.

"That sucks, bro."

"Yeah."

"Are you okay now?"

"I think so."

"Wanna go back to smoking hams?"

"Yeah. Okay."

And so, dear readers, the time for adventuring commences!