Disclaimer: I dont own the dude with the lightning bolt scar, or the sponge who lives in a pinneaple under the sea. Or Charlie the Unicorn... or anything else really.

Once upon a time there were two completely amazing Slytherin girls named Catherine and Dana. Catherine loved Draco Malfoy and Dana loved Lucios Malfoy. They were very very spaztic and liked to annoy stupid gryfrindoors. Especially ones named Ginny Weasly. But this doesnt have much to do with this story.

Anyway, Draco fell in love with Catherine. They wanted to be together very badly but there was one problem. Draco had an insane, annoying, controlling girlfriend named Pansy Parkinson. She was a bitch. Draco tried to break up with her but she threatened to avada kedavra him in his sleep. And I dont mean the killing curse, children.

So one day Catherine got very sick of all of this. So one day in the Slytherin common room while Catherine, being the leader of the future deatheaters club, was plotting she said to her friend.

"Dana, I'm bored... I want to carry out one of our many evil plots."

"Which one should we do? I think we should do the one when we kidnap Snape and Lucios..."

"No, lets save that for when we sell real estate"

Dana looked at Catherine like she was crazy, and by crazy I mean crazier than normal.

"Damn. I keep getting my Spongebob and Harry Potter refrences mixed up."

"Its ok, Catherine. Maybe those nice men with the needles can help you."

"Shut up Dana. Anyway, I was thinking we should kill Pansy Parkinson!"

"That sounds fun!"

"Then let us go!"

Heroic music started playing in the background as the two girls set off to find Pansy.

She was in the girls dorm being ugly, as usual.

"HEEEYYY PANSY!" Catherine said in an obnoxios voice resembling one of the unicorns from Charlie the Unicorn.

"What do you want, Catherine?"

"Come apparate with us Pansy!"

"What? Why?"

"We're going to kill you!" Dana idiodicly exclaimed.

Catherine elbowed Dana very hard.

"What she meant to say was... Draco wants to make out with you and were gonna take you there!"

"REALLY!?!?!?!" Pansy started spazzing

"Yeah, uhuh sure. Just grab onto my arm and we'll be off"

Before they could do anything Hermione Granger bursted through the door.

"I've told you a thousand times! You cant apparate in the grounds!!!"

"Shut up Hermione, this is a spoof. I can do as I please."

"Bu- bu-bu-" Hermione started babbling then stormed out of the room, her rules being ignored, again.

"Ok, now that that's over..."

All three of the girls apparated onto a pointy cliff in a wonderful place called... well I dont know what its called, its just a cliff ok?

"Where are we? Draco isn't here!" Pansy looked around scared for here life.

Catherine and Dana exchanged evil smirks

"Were on a cliff Paaaaaansy" They said simultaniously in that weird Charlie the Unicorn voice again. "Yeah Pansy a sharp, dangerous cliff!"

Before Pansy could do anything Catherine screamed DIE and pushed Pansy off of the cliff. As she was falling, she felt as if she was under the imperious curse so she stuck out her middle finger and screamed.

"NO! YOU HAVENT SEEN THE LAST OF ME!"

Catherine and Dana, feeling very satisfied with themselves apparated back into the Slytherin common room. They threw a huge yay Pansy is dead party where Catherine and Draco made out the whole time while Dana dumped Lucios for Snape. So they all lived happily ever after with Pansy being dead. Or was she?

A/N: Review if you want a sequel involving the most amazing Houcroux ever. Haha. So review. Or I'll get Voldie to attack you with a rubber chicken, and thats not pretty, just ask Wormtail.