This is a fic I wrote yesterday, inspiried by the song used in this fic.
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, JK Rowling does. I do not own the song, it belongs to Linkin Park.
Warning: this is a very...angsty fic. There is a kind of cliff hanger at the end, but I promise it's okay. I wrote the second part to this today, so all is well.
Please enjoy, and I wouldn't mind some reviews. Thanks everyone! (and if you're waiting for an update on Sing for Absolution, I'm working on it, I promise!)
Divide
Draco Malfoy stared up into the heavens, watching as lightning flashed in the clouds. The feelings about him, on both sides, were ominous. It was the final battle; that was certain. It was the battle that would decide whether Love really was greater than Hate. The blond inhaled deeply, his hands gripping the tree branch he was straddling tighter. The scent of campfires was strong on the air, mixing with yesterday's blood and the day's impending tempest.
A river separated the two sides. It was a narrow river, more like a stream in all honesty, but it was a strong current. Voldemort and the Death Eaters were camped on the west side of the river. Harry Potter and the Light were camped on the east. Draco, in his reluctant way to join either side, sat in a tree that had managed to grow in the middle of the river.
Draco felt a surge of energy and he looked to see where it had originated. Red and blue sparks issuing from multiple wands in the Death Eaters camp. Panic filled him and he glanced over to Potter's camp. Draco didn't want to pick sides, but he didn't…
"Crucio!"
Draco slapped his hand over his mouth, watching as his aunt suddenly appeared from the trees, attacking Longbottom, who'd also seemed to come out of nowhere. He wanted to step in, to stop them…but, as the lightning finally struck and thunder clashed, witches and wizards of both sides appeared and began firing spells at each other. Panicking more, Draco climbed further up the tree.
He reached the top as the fighting escalated further. Spells became even more vicious than before. Several voices Draco recognized, belonging to those on Harry Potter's side, could be heard shouting Unforgivables. The blond found a sturdy branch that he could sit on and where he could easily see the damnable battlefield. He could tell where Potter was. There was a swarm of Death Eaters and those fighting for Harry around him.
Violent spells that were meant to tear flesh from bone, snap off limbs, and other horrid things were sent towards the Boy-Who-Lived. Harry avoided them all, casting powerful shields to protect himself and those around him. Draco's heart pounded in his chest as he watched, worry building in his gut. Draco was used to such an emotion, especially caused by Harry. What he wasn't used to was the guilt he felt. It bothered him, still not as much as his concern for the Golden Boy.
Bright blond hair flashed in the lightning strike, drawing Draco's attention to the Death Eater he knew to be his father. Draco swallowed back the bile, and the fear. The blond Death Eater was headed straight for Harry, and Draco could feel the deadly intentions.
Break Potter, take him to Voldemort, and let the snake bastard kill him. Voldemort, as expected, hid away while his followers did his dirty work. Draco could barely make out Severus's form, sending a Death Eater flying with a rather nasty looking spell. The Spy had promised Draco, months before, that nothing would come between Harry and Voldemort.
"Avada Kedavra!"
Draco closed his eyes, watching Severus fall to the ground. There was a tortured scream from Lupin as he attacked the Death Eater who had killed the Potions Master. Draco tore his gaze from that scene, fixing it back on Harry.
Panic began to fill Draco's being, and he could feel his magic brewing, begging to let it protect. A spell Serveus had once taught him, developed by an Italian wizard centuries earlier, tantalized his mind, but he had no use of it…yet.
More Death Eaters swarmed on the small band, which Draco realized consisted of Harry, Hermione, Ron, Ginny, and Luna, of fighters for the Light. He could just make out Ginny's cry of "Dumbledore's Army!" before jumping in front of the cruciatus curse that had been aimed at Ron. He heard Harry cry out in anger, aiming pertrificus totalus at the Death Eater.
"Harry!" Ron cried.
Draco's eyes zeroed in on a Death Eater, his wand raised for a slashing curse. Draco knew Harry didn't have time to shield himself; he knew none of Harry's friends were strong enough to protect Harry from the curse. Draco pushed away from the tree, free falling through the black night air.
"Difenderlo!" Draco screamed at the top of his lungs. The spell flew from him and surrounded Harry in a translucent silver orb.
Harry's head twisted towards Draco, as did the others of the Light. They watched in shock as the blond crashed to the earth, seeming to shatter upon impact. Draco cried out in agony, tears spilling from his eyes. He forced himself into a sitting position, his silver eyes meeting Harry's green ones.
Lucius, utilizing the distraction, raised his wand and pointed it at Harry. "NO!" Draco screeched. He forced himself to raise his wand and pointed it at Lucius. "Avada Kedavra!"
"You bastard-" Ron started to shout.
The bright green light flew past Harry and struck Lucius square in the chest. His father fell backwards, landing in the mass of broken and bleeding bodies. Draco, his chest heaving, collapsed amidst the dead bodies strewn around him. You deserve this…
I remembered black skies, the lightning all around me
I remembered each flash, as time began to blur
Like a startling sign, that fate had finally found me
And your voice was all I heard, that I get what I deserve
Draco stared up at the heavens, reveling in the feel of the rain on his skin. Everything hurt…strangely enough, it hurt to the point that he was numb to it. He could barely feel the precious rain, washing the blood from his skin. He kept replaying words from before, words that had come from Harry's precious lips… He'd been curled on the ground, clutching his stomach from the pain caused by Harry punching him. Harry, the most angry Draco had ever seen him, had told him he deserved that and much worse.
Tears stung his eyes once again. The malice in those words…now they broke him. There was no way for Draco to fix the wrongs he'd done. He wished he could, but he knew better. It was pointless to ever hope to. He'd done severely stupid things; he'd created an atmosphere where the only feeling Harry could ever show him was hate. As far as he was concerned, he did deserve everything that'd happened.
I want to rectify my mistakes…would you let me, if I could? H-Harry… I wish I could tell you what is in my mind now…what I am thinking…I must say, you were worth this… Dying…yes….definitely dying…and saving you was definitely worth dying. I…I wonder why, though… All we've had were spiteful words… I made Severus teach me that spell…in case…I needed it. I never told him I learned it for you…
"Malfoy…"
The blond whimpered and tried to pull away from the hands touching him. The voice was soft, soothing even…a woman's voice, one he didn't recognize. He cracked his eyes open a bit, catching a glimpse of fiery hair. He vaguely wondered if he was already dead.
"Malfoy!"
"N-no…" Draco moaned.
So give me reason
To prove me wrong
To wash this memory clean
Let the floods cross
The distance in your eyes
Give me reason
To fill this hole
Connect the space between
Let it fill up to reach the truth and lies
Across this new divide
"It's no bloody use, mum…"
"Shush, Ron! He saved Harry's life!"
Draco's breath shuddered. Ron and Mrs. Weasley were the ones trying to get a reaction from him. So, he wasn't dead…
"Draco, darling…the fighting's over…V-Voldemort is defeated…" Mrs. Weasley whispered.
Oh, good…Tell me something that will actually bring me bloody comfort as I die! Please?
"Mum!"
Draco coughed, blood dribbling from his mouth. The action awoke the fierce pain from earlier, and even more tears burned his eyes. Smoke filled his nose, bringing about another coughing fit. He could hear thunder in the distance, but it no longer rained. The curiousity of how long it'd been since he'd jumped from the tree passed through his mind, but only briefly.
His head hurt, a lot. He forced his eyes open a crack, catching a glimpse of red hair and flames licking at the trees on the Death Eater side of the river. Mrs. Weasley continued to gently touch Draco's face, attempting to get him to respond. Draco didn't want to. All he wanted was to slip back into the comforting darkness she'd pulled him from.
"Leave him be, Molly. There isn't any more we can do for him. If Mr. Malfoy is willing to fight, he will."
"Poppy…"
"Please, mother…Malfoy got what he deserves."
It was Ron who spoke, but it was Harry's voice Draco heard. Everytime that memory played in his mind, and it was the only clear one he really had because he'd thought about it so much, something inside seemed to splinter. Is this what it feels like? Is this what it feels like to have your heart broke?
"Ron!"
"It's true. All the horrid shit he's done to me, Hermione, and especially to Harry. It doesn't really matter what he does, he can never make it up…" Ron growled, his voice laced with venom.
There was nothing inside, the memories left abandoned
There was nowhere to hide, the ashes fell like snow
And the ground caved in, between where we were standing
And your voice was all I heard, that I get what I deserve
"This is hopeless, Hermione!" Ron sighed.
Draco's breathing was shallow, and his heart beat was weakening. Draco could feel himself slipping away. He didn't understand why Hermione wouldn't leave him to die. What did she care if he did? He had done horrid things to her.
"Shut it, Ron. You might not understand why, but we need to make sure Malfoy lives…"
Explain it to me, please?
"Hermione…he does not have to stay alive. Honestly, what's wrong with you all?"
Can't believe I'm thinking this…Weasley is right!
"Ron, were you even paying attention in that damn battle?" Hermione demanded angrily.
Draco coughed violently again, more blood spilling from his mouth. He wondered if he'd even been healed a bit yet… On second thought, he found he didn't care. He just wanted to know if Harry was alive or dead. If they didn't say, he'd find a way to ask. He needed to know. That, and nothing else, was the only reason Draco fought for consciousness.
He imagined Harry there, merely watching him suffer. The emerald orbs that had haunted Draco's dreams for years would be colder than Antarctica. Those eyes were only ever cold when they fell on Draco. Draco knew he deserved that coldness.
So give me reason
To prove me wrong
To wash this memory clean
Let the floods cross
The distance in your eyes
Across this new divide
"Draco Malfoy, whether you want to or not, you cannot die."
Draco groaned and tried to move away from the voice. He couldn't quite place it… It was familiar; soft, gentle, and yet fierce. Ah, he had it. It was Lupin. Draco coughed again, feeling more blood come up. Lupin wiped the blood away with something Draco thought could've been a handkerchief, but he wasn't certain. He wondered why he couldn't feel anymore pain. Perhaps he was finally going to slip away? Maybe this time, when someone else tried to wake him up, he wouldn't.
No…I don't know if Harry's okay or not….I can't die yet.
"Severus would be disappointed if you died now, after becoming a hero…" Lupin murmured.
Draco wanted to slap him. Lupin had no right to call Severus by his first name. It pissed him off that Lupin used Severus's name like that. The sounds of crying caught his attention.
"He wasn't supposed to die, Malfoy… I must imagine that you saw it happen, seeing as you were hiding up in that tree… I apologize, Malfoy. I blame myself…I didn't do a good enough job protecting him…"
What in the bloody hell are you going on about? Lupin, cease your crying! I don't understand… Please…tell me Harry's okay!?
"You don't have to worry about getting revenge for him, though. I took care of that, and I enjoyed every second of it. …Malfoy, we were going to tell you when the War was finally over…I…Severus and I…." Lupin choked on a sob.
Draco inhaled shallowly, the sound a sickly-wet rattle in his lungs. Oh, I get it. You two were in love, yeah? That's…I honestly hadn't expected that…but, hey, if you made Severus happy…
"Remus, come away from him… You need to tend to your own wounds now."
"Poppy…" Lupin murmured reluctantly.
"I've already told the others that there isn't much we can do now. We have to wait and see if he wants to fight…"
Draco felt Lupin move away from him. His mind wandered to things he would never have allowed himself to think of normally. He really was a coward, right? Unwilling to openly support Harry… Too weak to admit to himself what he'd always known.
He forced himself to think of a time other than the one ingrained in his memory. He wanted to think of something other than Harry telling him he deserved what he got and worse. …But, he couldn't find anything else. So, he fantasized.
He imagined that he'd gone to Harry and begged for forgiveness. He imagined that he'd gotten on his knees and pleaded for Harry to forgive him, that he'd do anything for Harry to not stare at him with such hateful eyes. He imagined Harry turning him away.
Even in his mind, Harry could never forgive him. Why did I have to lie so much?
And every loss and every lie
And every truth that you deny
And each regret and each goodbye
Was a mistake too great to hide
"Malfoy…"
Draco whimpered, turning towards the voice. That voice was the only one he wanted to hear. Harry was alive…he was breathing, speaking… Draco let himself slip towards the darkness.
"Malfoy… I forbid you from dying."
That got Draco's attention. The tone of Harry's voice…it was identical to the last time Harry had been standing over him. You're alive, I'm happy, I deserve this, so let me die!
"Malfoy!"
And your voice was all I heard
But I get what I deserve
Harry sighed and knealed next to Draco. He placed his hand over Draco's weakly-beating heart. "Cneasaigh dó."
Warmth spread through Draco's chest from the point where Harry's hand touched him. The pain he hadn't felt before came to agonizing life, and then disappeared. Draco groaned and cracked his eyes open. The first thing he saw was Harry's emerald orbs, staring at him gently.
"Thank you for finally waking up. I want to talk to you," Harry murmured. He sat down completely, never breaking eye contact with Draco.
"W-what do you want?" Draco managed to ask weakly.
"Explain to me why you saved me. I want to know."
Draco flushed and turned his head, his gaze finding the red fabric of a tent. He opened his mouth, and then closed it. He couldn't tell Harry why he'd saved him. He was supposed to be dead, anyway! He'd jumped from a one hundred foot tree, for Merlin's sake!
"Draco," Harry called sharply.
Draco's eyes widened and he turned his head to face Harry again. His eyes were fierce, but they didn't hold hate. "I…"
Harry sighed and moved to stand. "I should've known better…"
Draco winced, looking away in shame. "D-didn't want to-" NO LIES!
"Didn't want to what, Draco?"
"Szeretlek," Draco croaked. [I love you.]
"Draco, I don't speak that language," Harry grumbled flatly.
Draco forced himself up, wincing a bit. He reached out, grabbing onto Harry's shirt and pulling him close. "I'm apparently better at expressing myself with actions…"
"Draco…"
Draco shook his head and inhaled deeply. "Forgive me for this, but… If you really want to know…" Draco closed the distance between them, gently kissing Harry.
"Draco." Even if you continue to hate me, that voice will never go away now. I know what it sounds like when you call my name…
So give me reason
To prove me wrong
To wash this memory clean
Let the floods cross
The distance in your eyes
Give me reason
To fill this hole
Connect the space between
Let it fill up to reach the truth and lies
Across this new divide
~End~