Here is a short humorous story that takes off from the decon chamber scene at the end of 'Sleeping Dogs' –what just might have happened afterwards…

Grateful thanks to my beta reader RoaringMice

Reed closed his eyes in relief and contentment. True, he was completely knackered, but T'Pol, Hoshi and he were safely back on Enterprise, enjoying the soft blue glow of the decon chamber, and they had even fooled the Doctor into allowing them to remain longer than necessary in the peace and quiet of that haven. What more could he desire?

He was feeling so elated that he completely forgot about the miserable cold which had pestered him since morning, so the dizzy spell took him totally by surprise: before he knew it, things got more than a little fuzzy. A second later he was lying flat with his back on the floor.

His confusion lasted but a moment – at least that's what it felt like – and when he finally was able to concentrate on something it was someone – well, someones: two beautiful ladies in scanty undergarments were kneeling by his side, and his face broke of its own accord into a juvenile grin, which for some reason made the beautiful ladies' eyes go wide with concern.

Must be my attire – or lack thereof. You have nothing to fear, darlings: even in my underwear I remain a true gentleman.

One of them put a hand on his bare shoulder, sending a shiver down his spine; the other raised her eyebrows and, inches from his face, breathed out in what he thought was a very sensual voice, 'Are you all right, Lieutenant?'

It was then that his gaze strayed from the lady's full lips to her ears, and he was startled back to his senses. Suddenly he knew where, what, why and who.

A horrible blush crept up his cheeks as he fumbled to offer Hoshi and T'Pol feeble apologies. The two of them, however, seemed frozen still and were definitely too close for comfort, so he sprang up to gain a less embarrassing perspective, clumsily bumping T'Pol and knocking her off balance -- very off balance in fact, completely off balance. The next moment she was draped across him.

Bloody "Awfully sorry, Subcommander…"

Hoshi immediately leaned in to help, grabbing him under one arm and trying to prop the two of them up. Just as they were tangled in a sort of 'Laocoon group' the door swished open.

"I believe you can now …"

Doctor Phlox's voice quickly died away, and they all twisted to look at him as one, stalling for a brief moment before retrieving each their own limbs and awkwardly climbing to their feet.

Blue Denobulan eyes flashed with a naughty glint. "Hmm," the Doctor murmured – and it was a very eloquent sound. His voice dropped a couple of octaves and became throaty as he added mischievously, "You could have told me, instead of finding excuses to buy more time." His smile widened horrendously.

Hoshi cleared her throat, even though Malcolm noticed a small smile tugging at her lips; T'Pol just looked at Phlox with a blank expression on her face – what else was new.

Malcolm swallowed hard. Apparently it was up to him to formulate intelligible sounds. "Doctor, it's not what you're thinking," he hurried to say.

"Ah, don't worry," Phlox replied casting him a conspiratorial glance. "I am a doctor, after all. You just had a stressful day and any forms of tension release are a fine antidote to stress."

There was a moment of stunned silence. Before anyone could speak, Phlox went on to ask, "May I watch?" His eyes seemed to glitter with curiosity now, and a good dose of hope.

Malcolm groaned inwardly.

"Watch?" T'Pol's eyebrows went considerably high. "I was about to call you, Doctor," she said in her monotone voice, "It's your expertise that is actually needed."

Malcolm groaned loudly.

"It is? Wonderful!" Phlox exclaimed. He appeared absolutely delighted. "I hope I'm up to it," he then murmured.

"Doctor!" Malcolm cried out in disbelief, as Hoshi snorted and buried her face in her hands. T'Pol looked at her, and then at him, in what was probably Vulcan puzzlement – only one eyebrow raised at half mast.

"Doctor," the Subcommander echoed, turning to Phlox. "Not long after we disrobed the Lieutenant swooned. Hoshi and I responded immediately and tried to revive him, but I believe you stand a better chance to answer his needs."

Malcolm closed his eyes tightly as he felt a cold sweat break out on his brow.

The Denobulan tilted his head. He frowned briefly to T'Pol before bringing a hand to his chin and studying Malcolm. "Oh… Mr. Reed, I didn't know that you preferred… you know…" To his credit, he looked at least surprised and a little hesitant, but Reed cringed all the same.

Malcolm shuffled on his feet and felt another dizzy spell, but managed to stay upright, clenching his teeth and biting the inside of his cheek until he drew blood. No way could he fall unconscious now. Much better to sink with that Klingon ship.

"I can assure you, dhere is dothihg to dow, Doctor," he said with as much poise as he could summon, considering that now even his sodding nose was plotting against him: suddenly it had got completely blocked, causing him to pant, of all things.

Sweating and panting – brilliant.

"Dhis is all a big bisunderstandihg," he continued, looking frantically around for some clothing, for he was suddenly feeling very exposed. None was in sight.

"What the Lieutenant is trying to say," Hoshi said, amusement oozing from her voice, "Is that he wouldn't really be up to any strenuous activities…"

"Hoshi!" Malcolm cried out in anguish, pirouetting abruptly to face her.

"…because of his cold," Hoshi concluded, mirth dancing in her eyes.

"Ah," Phlox said, perked up. "Let me give you a little decongestant, Mr. Reed. It may put you… in a better frame of mind, so to speak," he concluded, almost winking.

Reed shuddered and clenched his jaw again. "Do, thahks," he said categorically. "I thihk a good dight's sleep will do dhe trick."

Would this bloody day never end? Time to make it end, Malcolm decided. He couldn't risk having Phlox take him by surprise and put him under… Never shifting his gaze from his enemy, he slowly backed away towards the door. When he felt his shoulders hit its hard surface, he raised a hand and triggered it open, and with a terse 'good dight' he made a fast escape.

After he had disappeared, there was a moment of silence. Then Phlox's grin split his face and Hoshi collapsed on a bench, giggling hysterically.

"That was a little nasty of me, I admit," Phlox said, chuckling. "But as Mr. Tucker says, Lieutenant Reed is too easy a target. I suppose I'll have to make a house call now, to take proper care of my patient and explain this was all a joke."

Hoshi stopped laughing. "Was it?" she asked the Denobulan, with an intrigued glance.

"Well, when I found the three of you piled up on the floor I did have a moment of doubt," Phlox confessed. "But then I realised the situation was not what it looked like and… I couldn't resist taking advantage of it."

He turned to T'Pol, who was staring at them, immobile. "However, the joke would have ended much sooner if you hadn't played along so nicely, Subcommander," he said, a little surprised. "I didn't know that, as a Vulcan, you enjoyed teasing people."

T'Pol's face remained impassive, save for her usual dancing eyebrows. "I wasn't -- teasing," she said. "I merely stated facts."

Hoshi exchanged an amused glance with Phlox. But her smile slowly faded as the events of that day returned to her mind. The three of them in the skin-tight undergarments of the EV suits… Malcolm swooning on the alien ship… T'Pol holding her hand as she taught her to control her anxiety… Hmm…

"Ah, Subcommander," she asked hesitantly. "Would you mind if I wrote the report for the Captain?…"

THE END