Frodo and Samwise
The look of greed and desperation in his eyes were like nothing I had ever seen before. That was when the power that was in my hands struck me. Here was Boromir son of Denethor, a leader of Men pleading with a desperation in his voice that I have only ever heard in the voices of scorned hobbit children. He had everything. Wealth, power, adoration. And here was me, a small, boring, insignificant hobbit for the Shire with the only thing he wanted.
I knew I had to go. If this great leader was reduced to a quivering wreck by the ring's power what hope was there for the rest of us? For me? I have just been blind to the ring's power, I have not really had to resist it. I had made a promise to all nine of my companions to protect them and to destroy the ring. The only way I could protect them was to leave them now. Release them from the ring's grip, and to protect them from being near me when I fall for the ring's power, for fall I surely will. That is when I ran. My mind was clear now. I stared at the boat and knew it was my only way out. I had made a promise, and I will honour that promise to my death. Aragorn would have argued with me, Legolas would have helped. Gimli would have shook his head and refused to let me go. Merry and Pippin would have wept to see me gone and Sam, well Sam would have jumped in the boat and took the ring to Mordor himself. "What am I waiting for? Get in the boat and get out of here before someone finds you!" It took a while to put my thoughts into action, but soon I was rowing out into the great Anduin River. It was the most beautiful sight but it washed over me like the water in the river. Just then my heart fell. "I'm coming Mr Frodo" rang in my ears as Sam's voice rang out across the river. Why did he do it? Why did he have to come? I turned round to look at him and my heart shot straight through my head. Sam was running through the river towards me and as he got deeper he struggled more and more. Sam couldn't swim. I am not sure what came over me but before I knew what was happening Sam was in the boat next to me smiling. He looked at me with his vulnerable brown eyes and smiled his naïve, childlike grin and said, "Mr Gandalf said 'don't you leave Frodo, Samwise Gamgee!' And I don't plant to, I am coming wherever you go, Mr Frodo" All my anger and bitterness towards him melted away in that instant. Sam could play me like a fiddle (DON'T even think of laughing, dirty dirty girl!) He knew exactly what to say to make me feel wonderfully happy and loved, and the funny thing was that he didn't even know it. After being ready to give him a piece of my mind to him was "I'm glad you're with me, Sam." Then Sam looked at me with his innocent eyes welling with tears and wrapped his arms around me. "I'm glad to be here, Mr Frodo" he whispered and gently pulled away and kissed me on the forehead. There is nothing unusual about that is there? A hobbit who has just nearly drowned and was saved by a hobbit he has known for nearly his whole life gave him a hug and an innocent kiss on the forehead. That isn't strange, is it? If I hadn't seen the look in Sam's eyes I would have not thought anything of it. There was a look of sorrow in his sugary face, almost of despair. The only time I had ever seen a look like that in anyone's face was when Pippin had worked himself up to ask a young hobbit to dance and the young hobbit said no. From that day on whenever Pippin looked at that one young hobbit he so desired and loved, he had the same look that Sam had when he looked a me. Sam was in love with me? I knew he loved me as a friend and a brother, I loved Sam in that way, but Sam did not love me, he was in love with me. But the thing that bugged me the most was why did that thought fill me with a strange excitement?
I knew that trying to hide the fact my brain was in overdrive was pointless, as this was Sam I was talking about! He could read me like a book. So I didn't try. I was snappy and rude with him, in fact I was downright mean to him. Every time he thought I wasn't looking I'd sneak a glance at him and every time I looked I saw either a look of despair or a look of concern and puzzlement as he tried to not look at me directly. I was like a pressure cooker. The ring was getting heavier, I had hardly any sleep or food, was in constant danger with the one person I cared about the most and the one person I wanted to be a million miles away from. The more the thought of Sam being in love with me rattled around my head the more the thought no longer caused my brain to ache as my heart bleed for my poor, beloved Sam is set up for heartache and unrequited love. The thought even caused me to daydream about what would come of a love affair between Sam and I. The more I thought about it, and I did so from the moment I woke to the moment I slept, I realised Sam was not alone. I was in love with Sam. That is as far as my thoughts went before I started back at the beginning again, thinking "don't be silly Frodo, Sam has been your friend for as long as you can remember! You can't be attracted to him, it is too absurd" So I just went around in circles. I am not sure how those four days we climbed and toiled together on those mountains called Emyn Muil did not break me. Four days that were more like four years. But once those three days came to a head my feelings for Sam were no longer a mystery. Gollum grabbed Sam from behind and Sam battled with him. Sam tried to hold Sam down. I grabbed Sting and wrapped my finger's round Gollum's throat. I wanted to rip his head to pieces. I wanted to slowly slice his scrawny, repulsive body until he screamed for mercy. I wanted to pull those grotesques, bulging eyeballs out of his skull, purely because I had seen the look of anger and terror in Sam's eyes. It was Sam that stopped me doing any of that. I knew that someone as loving, trusting and kind as Sam would never want me to hurt someone in his name. So I feebly grabbed Gollum and held Sting to his throat and whispered "hello, this is Sting, but you've see him before, haven't you?" Gollum did me the biggest favour he could. He opened my eyes to the fact I was truly, madly, deeply in love with Sam. If it wasn't for Gollum I would probably cried. I had to keep my eyes on Gollum, because if I had looked at Sam I would never have wanted to turn my eyes from him. As we tied Gollum up and talked to him all I wanted to do was to hold him. I had wasted all my lifetime with Sam, and it tore me to pieces as I wasted priceless minutes on that thing that lay screaming and writhing next to me. As I finally brought myself to look at Sam the world shook and my body trembled. I saw Sam in a way like never before. It was like I had watched Sam in the way he tends his beloved flowers, grow and develop and I had only just seen him come into bloom. His deep, brown eyes seemed to possess all the knowledge and love the world could give while they sparkled with a naivety and trust that only a new born could possess. Those lips parted into his shy, slightly nervous, and loving smile sent why whole world swirling and twirling that day. But something shook me out of Sam's trance. On his left cheek there was a small cut going diagonally across it. All my anger and violence bubbled in my veins. I would have given anything I owned and I dare say I would have happily given the ring to Sauron himself there and then if he could have made the whole world disappear. I wanted to hold Sam. I wanted to have him in my arms and comfort him. No one as amazing him should ever be hurt. I wanted to hold him and make sure no one hurt him ever again.
Gollum came with us. When I saw him and saw the wretchedness in his eyes I realised he dud not deserve death, he deserved pity. When I saw him there and talked to him I thought of Boromir. If a leader of men was reduced to a nervous wreck by the ring, even a hobbit of half his status would be reduced to what Gollum was. Nothing. I could not kill him. So he came with us. In the three days that past, and I went from heaven to hell. I was nearing Mordor, and the ring was getting heavy. We did not, could not sleep much, and any sleep I did get was marred with dreams of Nazgul and Sauron. This was physically wearing, but the real knives sliced my mind when I saw the pain and despair and foreboding in Sam's eyes. Oh he never breathed a word. His smile shone as brightly as ever and his words lightened my spirits until I saw his eyes. Sam is too trusting to lie. His eyes showed his pain and I could not get them out of my head. Even when I slept. I kept control of myself. The ring would not break me yet. That was until the forth evening when Gollum left. Sam and I were alone. I was lying with my back to the fire as Sam sat cooking and I let a small tear run down my face. "Mr Frodo?" Sam said. "Mr Frodo? Please Mr Frodo, what is wrong? You can tell Sam of your troubles, they are troubling me too" said Sam with his voice cracking with concern and despair. Sam left the fire side and sat beside me and placed his shaking arm around me. I just curled up and cried right there in his arms. I don't know what made me cry. The hunger, weariness and despair that Sam and I felt or the fact I was too scared to tell Sam I loved him. Lying to him was too much to bear when I looked in to those loving, trusting eyes. Once I was in control again Sam whispered in my ear, "What's is wrong Mr Frodo?" I lost it again and blurted out: "I have only just realised I love you" "Sam whispered "I love you too, Mr Frodo"
When I woke up I immediately smiled. I was where I have been when I slept, with my head in Sam's lap. I turned to look at Sam and all the exhaustion that had shrouded my body lifted as Sam smiled his sweet, open smile at me. But something was different about him. He no longer had to lie. He could show me the love and affection he felt. "massster! Please come! It is nearly morning, the nice hobbitsess must hurry if they wish to see the Black Gates before nightfall" said Gollum, after he had finished coming back from getting food. Sam scowled and shoved his pans back into his pack, before turning to help me pack my bags. We were in the worst place in the world. The water reeked of decay and age, and bellow the water there were the faces. "Elves" Gollum told us "all dead. Elves men and orcsess. There was a great battle long ago, yes it's called the Dead Marshes. All faces dead, all rotten" The faces glared upwards, their eyes bulging and raw. Their skin was yellowy pale and even fair Elves were sore to the eye. For thousand of years they had lay in the stale, festering water rotting and decomposing. Forgotten. Only mourned by the "candles of the Corpses". All of their faces frozen with terror. Horror was captured in their eyes. Gollum bounded along in front of us seemingly unaffected by the death and destruction around him. The marshes were almost mesmerising in their repulsiveness. I watched fear grow in Sam's eyes and slipped my hand in his. He glanced at me and curled his fingers round my hand, and we carried on walking hand in hand. As the day dragged on Sam and I became weary, but Gollum pressed on. "Come along, hobbitsess! Must not get behind, must we? Must reach the Black Gates before nightfall." Gollum urged. I had become almost use to Gollum. He may be wretched and selfish but without him Sam and I would almost certainly got lost on Emyn Muil. I knew I was wrong to think Gollum could be trusted, but when I saw how pathetic he was I could not see how he could harm us. To Sam's amazement later that day we arrived at the Black Gates unharmed and still with a placid Gollum. The gate was locked and heavily guarded. We were not getting into Mordor easily. "This is it" I thought "there is no hope left. I have failed, which is hardly surprising." I did not feel a thing. I knew that this day would come, so in a way I had prepared myself for it. I just felt numb. Gollum and Sam argued over what to do now, Gollum saying how he was only doing what "master" told him to do. "I did tell him to take us to the Black Gate, for I know no other way in to Mordor. I intend to go into Mordor, but I do not ask anyone to come with me" Gollum pleaded with me to give the ring to him and not to Sauron, and Sam just looked at me trying to hide the look of despair in his eyes. It was useless. I knew as well as he knew that I could not turn back. I knew he would have done anything to return to the Shire and back to his old Gaffer, but he would come with me into Mordor. I was dragging the one hobbit I loved to certain death. It was Gollum who offered the tiny shaft of light through the darkness. Through the wailing and pleading he cried "there is another way!" After some discussion Gollum revealed there was another route into Mordor, a route few people knew. I hated taking the chance on Gollum again, but if there was a glimmer of hope then I must take it. I promised to take the ring to Mordor and if that involves placing my own life in Gollum's hands then so be it.
The nest day we set off in the search of Gollum's second route into Mordor. Something was different today. Sam and I knew that thing was the last hope we had. If we blew it, the world would fall. It was now I needed Aragorn more than ever. He could tell me if I should trust Gollum, what is going to happen next, and what I should do next. All questions I wanted answers to. But when I got on the boat all that time ago I chose to be alone, and alone I was. During the next two days the tension crackled and fizzed. The ring became increasingly heavy, and like a magnet my hand was drawn to it. Even my mind was drawn to it, all my thoughts focused on it. I could not understand why I had not failed. Why were we still alive? Boromir would have failed and he was a leader of Men. Why had I held out for so long? It was not long before I did slip up. Sam and I heard them coming, how we let four big Men sneak up on us I will never know. Before I knew it we both had our swords drawn and we staring intently at each other. "We have not found what we sought" said one of them "but what have we found?" The discussed us among themselves as Sam and I stood, swords drawn working out what to do next. It was Sam that at last spoke. "Thank you kindly. And when you've finished discussing us perhaps you would mind telling who you are" he said. The cockiness in his voice would fool anyone but me, who could here the terrified undertones in his voice. I would have laughed out loud if it had not been for the swords pointed at me. I couldn't leave this all to Sam, so when the leader, who we learnt to be Captain Faramir, talked about servants of the Dark Tower or the white I spoke. "We are neither" I said "and travellers we are, whatever Captain Faramir says". They asked us about Gollum and I told them our names. I knew that if Sam and I were to get away and back on our journey I must tell them something about our errand. "We have come along way - out of Rivendell or Imladris as some call it. Seven companions we had: one we lost at Moria, the others we left at Parth Galen above Rauros: two of my kin: a Dwarf there was, and an Elf, and two Men. They were Aragorn and Boromir, who said that he came out of Minas Tirith, a city in the South" All of the men looked amazed at the mention of Boromir. After more questioning as to where we were knew Boromir from and to check we genuinely knew Borormir, Faramir left us with two guards to protect us, as he seemed convinced that our intentions were good. When Faramir left Sam and I sat down side by side and all energy seemed to flow from me. I was suddenly filled with a sort of giggly relief. I realised how lucky we were that it was Faramir that managed to find us. If it had been a servant of the enemy Sam and I would most certainly be dead, and Middle Earth would have fallen under Sauron. Sam and I were exceptionally vulnerable and I was pleased to see the sight of the strong guards. But once the initial relief wore off I realised what I was faced with. Once Faramir returned we would be questioned as to what the purpose of our journey was. I could not tell him, could I? He seemed noble, but then I then remembered the first and the last time I saw Boromir. At the Council of Elrond he had stood tall, proud and noble like and son of a lord should. Then I saw him pleading with me, and the look of despair in his eyes. If the ring could seduce Boromir, then why not Faramir? The ring must remain secret. I debated with myself over whether to tell Faramir of out quest, but eventually Sam made up my mind for me. After the first day, where Faramir spoke of Elves, ancient ledgend and of Aragorn, son of Arathor, and heir to the throne of Gondor, I did not have a choice. The day was long and Sam, Faramir and I were sitting and talking of ancient ledgends, and I had drifted into my own world of thoughts, when I was shaken out of it in a state of shock. "From the moment he saw it he wanted the enemy's ring" said Sam before recoiling in horror. "Sam!" I cried, now knowing that our only hope was to run. Sam's mouth went into overdrive, as he rambled about his old Gaffer. He squirmed with embarrassment and shock, and he was flushing white and scarlet. I couldn't bear to see Sam squirm so I manically looked around the room for a way to escape. When Sam's voice died down after trying desperately to redeem himself, Faramir spoke: "So that is the answer to all the riddles! The One Ring that was thought to have perished from the world. And Boromir tried to take it by force? And you escaped? And ran all the way - to me! And here in the wild I have you: two Halflings, and a host of men at my call, and the Ring of Rings. A pretty stroke of fortune. A chance for Faramir, Captain of Gondor, to show his quality! Ha!" Sam and I were rooted to the spot. Throughout the day I had become fond of Faramir, and I became to trust him. But then Boromir had fought valiantly to protect me, until the ring had taken hold. But I stared into his eyes, trying to see if that glint in his eye was a look of amusement or greed. Sam and I backed away to the wall and both went to grab our swords from our sword-hilts. There was a deafening silence in the room and all the men there stood, their eyes fixed on Faramir, hardly daring to breathe. Faramir then sat down and said quite quietly "alas for Boromir! It was too sore a trial! How you have increased my sorrow, you two strange wanderers from a far away country, bearing the Peril of Men! But you are less judges of Men than I of Halflings. We are truth - speakers, we Men of Gondor. We boast seldom, and then perform, or die in the attempt. "Not if I found it on the highway would I take it", I said. Even if I were such a man as to desire this thing, and even though I knew not dearly what this thing was when I spoke, still I should take those words as a vow, and be held by them" I did not here the rest of what Faramir said, as I was trying to calm myself. I glanced over to Sam and saw a look of shame and apology in his face as he looked to show him it was OK. I still loved him. I didn't even feel angry at him, not when I saw the look of self-loathing in his eyes. Sam and I sat down next to Faramir. That night I slept comfortably and for the first time in months, in fact since I left Rivendell. It was Faramir who woke me only asking if I would come with him as he desired my counsel. I followed him to an opening in the rock where I looked down upon a pool. It sparkled and glittered under the moonlight. The way it shimmered under the stars made me catch my breath. When I looked down properly I saw a familiar creatures skulking around the pool. Gollum. He was singing to himself and with a fish. It struck me that Gollum was nowhere to be seen when Faramir had captured us. Where had he been? And why had Faramir taken me here in the middle of the night? I turned to see Sam next to me. "It's a fine view, no doubt, Mr Frodo, but chilly to the heart, not to mention the bones! What is going on?" Faramir answered, offering a draught of wine. We looked out from the ledge watching the pool, gazing out over it's glittering coat. Faramir turned to talk to a man who stood next to him. The man spoke to Faramir. "We wait for you command to shoot, Captain" Faramir turned to me and said "shall we shoot?" I stood to think. Gollum was a murderer, and would probably cause my own death, so surely he should be shot? But when I looked at the pathetic wretch I could not bring myself to harm him. He had been useful to far, and doubtless he could be again. "No! I beg you not to!" I said Faramir was cleverer than I, and he pressed me as to why he should be spared. "There are two answers, I think" I said. "For one thing, he knows little of Men, and sly though he is, your refuge is so hidden that perhaps he does not know that Men are concealed here. For another, I think he is allured here by as mastering desire, stranger than he caution" I told Faramir that Gollum had once owned the Ring. We then watched him as he fished. Faramir chuckled softly and said "fish! It is a less perilous hunger. Or maybe not: Fish from the pool of Henneth Annûn may cost him all he has to give" After much negotiation with Faramir, I went down and spoke to Gollum. Gollum came with me, and his life was spared. It took time, but Gollum came to trust me and the pity I felt for him for the first time I saw him returned. I could not understand it. Sam despised him, Faramir was disgusted by him, so why did I just pity him? After a while Gollum agreed to be my guide, and serve me as his master. Faramir and I were satisfied, so we returned to bed. Later, Sam, Gollum and I left Faramir. I will always remember Faramir fondly. All my faith in Men had been lost that day I left the Fellowship, until I met Faramir. He could have had everything, but he was not blinded by power. It would have been so easy for him, but he was wise enough to see beyond power, and for the world should be forever in his debt.
As the days drew on day merged into night and I was unsure how long we travelled. Gollum urged us on, but sometimes he was gone for hours. We climbed and struggled upwards for days. I could not even care about the quest any more. I just wanted all the pain, hunger and tiredness to stop. I wanted just to be back in Bag End, just Sam and I. I wanted to make up for the time I had wasted with Sam. I wanted it to just be him and I, together forever. We travelled through stairways, and passages for days and weariness consumes me. After the time with Faramir, the ring had become the focus of all my thoughts. I lost count of the times I'd find my hand drifting towards the ring, and Sam had to tap it to stop me putting it on. If Sam had not been with me, Sauron would be our king. It was not just that he physically stopped me from putting the ring on; he reminded me why I was here, cold, hungry and exhausted. When I caught his eye and he flashed me that sweet, innocent smile I knew I couldn't let him down. Even if I did not care about myself I cared about him. I knew then that I was not going to until I was dead or the ring was destroyed. It was not until the fifth day when terror gripped us again, Gollum lead us to the final treacherous tunnel. Sam and I cowered back from the darkness, but Gollum insisted we went on. In that tunnel a panic grew over me. The darkness seemed to consume you. But on I went and as I went the terror grew. It seemed like my blood ran cold and my brain was working at 10 times its normal speed. I was also suddenly aware that Gollum was not with us. Then I heard it. The gurgling, bubbling noise. I had now seemed to have completely detached my body from my mind. I reached for the gift Galadriel had given me on our parting, the Phial of Galadriel. I spoke the sweet Elven words and the light shone out. That was when Sam and I saw them. Those glowering bulging eyes leering with delight. Sam and I stood paralysed but with our minds pleading with us to flee. And then we fled. The eyes were coming. Faster, faster and my mind was clear. The phial was my weapon. If Sam and I could get out of there then any pain in the world was insignificant. I turned with sting in one hand, the Phial in the other to face the eyes and held the Phial out proud. One by one the eyes closed and blinded by the light they retreated. We turned to leave the tunnel but we were faced with more obstacles. The entrance was covered with something. Frantically Sam hacked until I drew sting and ripped and tore. It seemed like an age but at last we were free. We allowed ourselves a few moments to revel in a victory before we started to run out of the passage and away from danger. But our smugness was short lived. Sam had barely put the Phial away before Sam saw the foreboding eyes, eyes that could bore through flesh and bone. The body swollen, it looked most like a spider. I ran oblivious to the danger around me. My heart was still on fire and weariness was held at bay by the surge of excitement in my veins. I felt that Sam and I could take on anything, me and my hobbit. Then I heard Sam's cry which froze my whole body as It oozed terror and dripped with panic. "Look out behind!"
As I looked around my heart welled up with an immense despair that hurt. It made it almost impossible to breathe. I knew I'd failed Sam. The ring was gone. The Orcs who I now know took my lifeless body to Cirith Ungol I had taken every thing I had. My mind was free to think again, and all I could think about was Sam. He was alone. I was wearier than I had ever been. I was cold, hungry and with a fatigue that consumed me. But I could not sleep because every time I closed my eyes I saw him. Alone. Weeping. His eyes shrouded by black. All I could do was weep for him. How could I say I love him and leave him? I was powerless and I could not be there and take his pain away and watch his shy smile consume his face. "Is all you can do weep, Frodo Baggins? Are you seriously going to just leave the hobbit you love to be alone to certain death?" It kept on swimming round my mind. So soon tears of sadness turned to tears of anger. But mixed in with this was fear. I was terrified. Terrifed I would never get to say the things I wanted to say to Sam. Never get to love him in the way I wanted to. Never get to do the things I wanted to do with him. Then something happened that until the day I die will not know how it happened. It made my world shake and made my mind go haywire. Sam walked in the room. He ran to me and his eyes spun me round and his smile seemed to make the room bright and his very presence lightened the room.
He came and flung his arms around me and I held him tight. I had failed him and I would be dead before I made that mistake again. It felt that somehow if I never let him go no one could ever hurt us. Sam and I would never let each other go. It was Sam and I against the world. Me and my Guy (lol joke, I just have that song on at the mo!) He slowly stepped back to look at me, and when I looked into his brow, adorable soulful eyes I knew I couldn't wait. I had tried to concentrate on the task at hand, but now that seemed pointless. I ran my fingers through his hair, leaned in and kissed those lips that could so flaw me. It felt so perfect. Sam pushed me down on the rags that covered the floor and there we lay. He wrapped his arms around me and I kissed his lips and face. The world could have fallen down around us and we wouldn't have noticed, we were too wrapped up in each other, as we lay there intertwined. He was intoxicating. The sweet taste of his lips lingered on mine and his smell seemed to blow through my mind like a summer breeze. I was in the worst place in the world, but nothing seemed to matter. I gently pushed Sam off, as much to my annoyance there was a world to save!
"Sam!" I gasped "what are we going to do now?" I said my mind finally stopping whirring. Sam smiled like I had never seen him smile before. It was brighter, sweeter, and gentler than before. He leaned towards me and quickly but gently kissed me on the lips. "What was that for?" I smiled.
"You have no idea how long I have waited for that" he grinned "I have loved you for years now. You have made me happier that I have ever been before, Mr Frodo. Thank you" he said making me dizzy with that earth shattering smile.
I smiled back before finally snapping myself out of my happy dream.
"Sam, come on! We have a problem here. When I was taken away they took everything. We don't have the ring, they took it. It is too late!" I said, the full impact of us failing finally dawned on me. "No they didn't" said Sam "I took it. When I saw you lying there I thought you were dead, so I took the ring and went on. It was not until I overheard the Orcs talking about you that I realised weren't dead. I followed them and here I am!" he said cheerfully. I saw red. When he showed me the ring and grabbed it and stepped back. "You stole from me! It is mine! You had no right to take it. How could you? It is mine, my only my precious" I ranted. I couldn't stop myself; I didn't know what was going on. My mouth was saying one thing and my brain was saying another. All I could think was "why am I doing this?" Sam looked at his feet the whole time, but I could sadness in his eyes. When I finally stopped I felt so dirty. How could I hurt him? He has done nothing but love me and al I could do was hurt him. "Sam! Oh I'm ." Sam silenced me by putting his fingers on my lips, and kissed my forehead. "It doesn't matter. It wasn't you. The ring spoke, you were silent" he said. Oh if only I was. When I opened my clenched fist and saw the ring I loathed it. What was the limit of it's hate, it's malice, it's evil? I wanted to drop it there and then and run back to the Shire. I wanted to forget the ring ever existed. "I'll go and find some armour and clothes before we leave" Sam said before he left the room. I sat down and allowed myself to slip into a daydream. Sam and I were back at Bag End and we had never heard of the rings of power, Mordor, or Gollum. It was all too soon before we set off again
Sam and I changed into the Orc mail and set off on the journey out of the tower. We climbed down the flights of stairs. As we went further and further exhaustion swept over me. I remembered my hunger, tiredness and pain and almost fainted. How I managed to get through those stairs will remain a mystery to me until this day. When I reached the bottom my knees caved in and I couldn't move anymore. We still had to get past the gate. Sam drew out the Elven -glass of Galadriel, spoke those beautiful Elven words as the light shone out. The light seemed to pump through my veins and supply me with energy as Sam and I ran through the gates. It was a miracle we escaped. When we stopped running the cry of the Nazgûl echoed out around the cliffs. My blood felt like ice as the deadly cry rattled round my brain. I walked over to the edge of the Eastern face of Ephel Dúath and started down the sheer side into darkness. The search had begun. Orcs and the Nazgûl would be out in force trying to trace two Halflings running scared through Mordor with the ring of power. Anyone who had not seen it would have laughed out loud. AS we stood and looked over the edge we knew there was nothing for it. We scrambled down onto the ledge just bellow us and then stared down into the gut wrenching blackness. Sam turned to me with a look of terror in his eyes and said: "Well, here goes Mr Frodo. Goodbye!" and was gone and I followed. As we fell the thud of horsemen above echoed. We must have only fell dozen feet before land on, much to my surprise, thorny bushes. As we lay there in the dark I could hear the heavy clunk of horse shoes above. The search was on. They would not stop until they had found us. We struggled out of the bushes the pain of the days gone by seemed to sear through me. Every aspect of me ached. It seemed to make me dizzy and the darkness shivered and it took all my energy to remain consciousness. Sam grabbed my hand and ran. If I had any strength I would have screamed, but it made me remember why I had to go on. We struggled and stumbling among the rocks down into the valley. It was day now but it was darker than any night in the Shire. I have no idea how long we fought the rocks and darkness before we stopped. We sat side by side as we rested. That was when the hopelessness of it all hit me. Even if we did destroy the ring we ourselves would die together on the sloped of Mount Doom. As I say there I was scared witless. I hated myself for that. I knew I did not matter. What mattered was that the ring was destroyed. I hated myself for being scared. I was disgusted with myself for being selfish. It was so silly. If you had put Gandalf, Aragorn, Legolas or Gimli here they would be just as scared as me. That thought just made me even angrier with myself. As I sat there consumed in my own thoughts I felt a hand gently reaching out to hold my hand. I was astonished. It was as if he knew the blackness of my thoughts. He knew him merely being there would give me a star, a glimmer of hope. My thoughts then turned to Sam. Was he sitting there thinking "why did I ever come with him?" I knew I had no opportunity to turn back. He didn't have to have come with me when I left Rivendell. He could have not gone with me when I left the rest of the Fellowship. He could have turned back when I was attacked by Shelob. Why was he here?
Days blurred into nights and Sam and I went on. I could not take the weight of Orc mail and bags. I took Sam's Elven cloak and wrapped it round me to keep off the cold chill from the Mordor air and the ring hung round my neck. The ring was increasingly heavy. It took any strength I had to carry it. I found my mind drifting to thoughts of it. I would find my hand slowly drifting to hold it. I knew that if I put it on Sauron would know exactly where we were. Middle Earth would fall within hours. I am still unsure as to how I stopped myself from putting that ring on. As time went on I became ever more drained. The ring was getting heavier, and I was becoming weaker. I has little sleep, and whatever sleep I had was more draining that the times travelling. My dreams were filled with fire and pain. One other thing that preyed on my mind was the lack of food. Our food supplies were small, and I was unsure if it would even last until we got to Mount Doom. But something irritated me more than ever. I now knew we would make it back to the Shire. I would die here with Sam alone, with no comfort, and with no hope. Sam never failed to amaze me. He toiled on and never seemed to lose hope. Whenever I was in the darkest parts of my mind he was there to hold me or kiss me and give me the willpower I needed to go on. All this just made me love him more.
Sam never did give up hope. I doubt he will ever bring himself to accept that sometimes evil does defeat good. It was on the foot of Mount Doom that I saw Sam come close to losing hope. "We shan't need much on this road. And at it's end nothing" I said, I flinging my Orc weaponry on the ground. I was sick of fighting. I would not fight anymore. If they wanted to take me then I would not fight them. I turned to face Sam I saw tears blurring his pretty eyes as he laid his pots and pans down. I could see as I looked into his face that he was breaking. I walked over to him and put my arms round his waist and kissed him. I just wanted to kiss all the pain away. I wiped the tears from his eyes away, because I knew if Sam broke I would be nothing, I was pathetic without and Sam, always have been, always will be. I took his hand and led him as we walked side by side as we journeyed along the last road to the top of Mount Doom. My heart was shrouded with a strange sense of sadness. As I walked I concentrated on keeping all my thoughts at bay. I knew if I started thinking I could never control them. We were in the last part of our journey before he returned. I can't remember what happened but before I could switch my brain on Gollum was lunging at my throat. I couldn't understand why my strength was suddenly revived. I had gone from an emotionless shell to and an angry aggressive rage. What could change me? It was staring right in front of me. The ring. "Go on, go on! No time to lose, I'll deal with him. Go on!" Sam cried once we had finally quelled Gollum's rage. I had to go. Any longer with the ring and I would explode. It was then that I understood what type of control the ring had over me and that I had to get free from it. "Farewell Sam! This is the end at last. On Mount Doom doom shall fall. Farewell" I said, not daring to face him. I turned and fled up the path, tears blurring my view and making me stumble I ran desperately as I fixed my eyes on Mount Doom. As I ran it was as if someone had unlocked a box of emotions and there was nothing I could do but feel them. It was not long before I was staring down into the fires bellow. The reds and oranges twisted and twirled and I was mesmerised by them. I took the ring from the chain around my neck. As I stood and saw the flames make the gold of the ring glimmer I curled my fingers around it and turned the ring over and over in my hand. I couldn't let it go. Seeing its shimmering beauty in my hands made me think twice. I would never destroy it. I seemed to forget the past 3 years and forget the world around me. All I could think of was the ring. Why should I give it up? It was mine, I could control it. I had managed to do so so far. I stood watching the flames in the gold. It was like glue, my eyes could not be turned away. I wasn't aware of his footsteps behind me, I only heard him when he spoke. "Master" Sam cried and I turned myself to face him. "I have come, but I do not choose to do this deed. The ring is mine!" I said and with that I put the ring on. And slipped from sight. Everything seemed clear some how. Everything seemed easy if you were emotionless. I could have had a knife slice me and I would not have felt a thing. I would have bled metal. I was indestructible. I turned away from the abyss and as I did I turned to face Gollum. He reached out, wildly grabbing me. I swung him round and held him over the fire, but he twisted and squirmed. He lunged out at my finger, sinking his teeth into it. I pushed him away I n shock as the searing pain shuddered up my hand. I fell back and watched Gollum fall into the curling red and orange flames taking the ring with. As I lay there blood seemed to flow round my body again. It was like waking after a long sleep and watching the light streaming through your window and smelling flowers in the air and feeling alive. I pulled myself up and walked over to stand beside a dazed Sam. I took his hand and held it tight. "Well this is the end, Sam Gamgee" I whispered trying to keep my voice steady. Tears streamed down my face as I stood there in the dark. He turned to face me. "Master" he cried as tears welled in his eyes and he shook. Seeing him again was like seeing him the first time after Gollum first came. He shone with the same sweet beauty he had then, and his smile sent a shimmering light shuddering round Mordor. "Your poor hand!" He continued. "And I have nothing to bind it with, or comfort it. I would have spared him a whole hand of mine rather" I hushed him by kissing him lightly "I love you Sam" I whispered as he pulled me closer and kissed me. Tears of joy streamed down my face as my heart broke. I was finally free to love Sam as I wanted to and I knew I was going to lose him. I wanted to stay like we were forever. Why had I wasted so much time? One thing was clear. I couldn't waste anymore time. I wrapped my cloak around us to shield us from the cold air as we turned to walk down the mountain path. We walked for some time before we cold not walk any more. We sat down beside each other and Sam reached out for my hand. I took it and pulled him closer to me. I pulled him closer to me. If we were going to die here I'd be damned if we were going to die alone. As I lay there I played with Sam's hair. As I looked up at the sky and then over to Sam a revelation came to me. If I died now I had found everything I had wanted so I could be happy. And all of this was due to Sam. "Sam" I said "I have just realised something. I have never thanked you for coming here with me. You came knowing you would almost certainly die but you still came" I said as I watched Sam blush with delight. "I'll follow you, Master, anywhere" He replied. I smiled and leaned over and whispered "I think you can stop calling me Master now Sam" into his ear. I kissed his lips. As we lay there at what seemed like the end of everything in each other's arms I caught a glimpse of something in the corner of my eye. I turned to face it and as I did my heart left. Gandalf was soaring above us on an eagle. Sam and I watched in disbelief as he swooped down beside us. As he landed he was laughing softly as he smiled. Sam and I both ran to him and flung our arms around him. I had never been so happy to see him in my life. Gandalf picked us up and placed us on the eagle before jumping on the eagle's back himself. "Fly fast Gwahir, fly" He called. We soared through the sky and my head was filled with the icy cold clean air. We could not speak, none of us wanted to ruin the moment. I would have happily stayed like that forever. Anything that happened from now on would not, could not, hurt me. Everything seemed trivial when I was so high. I held Sam's hand as tightly as I could as I drifted into the first dreamless sleep I'd had in weeks.
The next time I opened my eyes I was in a state of confusion. It was not a dream? Gandalf had come to us on Gwahir? We were saved? I sat up in my bed and gazed round the room not allowing myself to believe what I saw. I was dead, that was how it was destined to be. As I stood up I became giddy and light. The bitter, twisted anger that had built up inside me had finally floated away. I walked over to the bed next to me and looked down on Sam as he slept. I had sat and watched him sleep many times along our journey, but now as I watched him, at last he looked peaceful. A face as beautiful as Sam's should never be twisted by fear or pain. As my sleepiness wore off an impatience grew. I wanted Sam to wake and share my happiness. I wanted Gandalf to come in so I could see him again and thank him. I wanted to see if Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli were OK. I wanted to tell Merry and Pippin everything. I looked around desperately wanting someone to talk to and as I turned to face the door Gandalf entered I ran up to him and flung my arms around him. "Frodo! You're awake at last! I have been so worried! But come rest now, you have been through a lot!" He ushered me back to my bed. We sat and talked, swapping tales of our travels before weariness took me and Gandalf went to leave me to sleep some more. Before he left he turned to me smiling. "You took your time with Sam" "What?" "You talk in your sleep." And with that he was gone.
When I woke again I heard Sam's voice. "Isn't it a shame about his poor hand? But I hope he's all right otherwise. He's bad a cruel time" he said and I smiled to hear the joy and delight in his voice. "Yes I am all right otherwise" I said. Sam looked at me with his glittery eyes and smiled a smile of pure happiness. I took his hand and kissed him and it was not until then that I had let myself feel truly peaceful, knowing that the quest was finally over. Now I knew that Sam was safe I knew that all the pain could be forgotten. It didn't matter now. All that mattered was that everything was going to be OK. That day was dreamlike. It was now noon so Sam and I dressed and are a small meal before venturing out into the beautiful green lawns of Ithilien, and much to our amazement we were greeted by singing. As we walked through the crowd we saw three raised seats. In the centre sat Aragorn. He smiled widely at us and gestured to us to sit beside him. I ran to meet him. So many questions buzzed in my mind. We had so much to ask him, so much to talk to him about, so many stories to tell. The day went on and it was a day that I would never have thought would have happened. We sang, danced, ate and chatted until late, but I was distracted. I wanted to talk to the Fellowship. I had still not heard the tales of their travels and it was those I wanted to hear the most. When it came to the evening we finally managed to slip away under the magical trees and tell stories of the past few weeks. Merry and Pippin came first, but soon Gimli and Legolas joined us. We talked deep into the night, all of us fascinated with each other's tales, and all of us how we did it. How, after all those years the one ring was destroyed. As the night went on, a niggling thought irritated me, as I knew there was something I had put off got too long. We grew weary and we knew it would take weeks for us to catch up completely. "To bed now I go. And so shall I" Gimli said, and all of us agreed. I was almost giddy with the happiness and relief I felt at the knowledge that all my companions were safe. We all rose and left to go our separate ways to bed. But before I slept there was one thing I must do. Thank Sam properly. As I shut the door to our room I was determined to wipe the innocence out of Sam's smile one and for all.
The look of greed and desperation in his eyes were like nothing I had ever seen before. That was when the power that was in my hands struck me. Here was Boromir son of Denethor, a leader of Men pleading with a desperation in his voice that I have only ever heard in the voices of scorned hobbit children. He had everything. Wealth, power, adoration. And here was me, a small, boring, insignificant hobbit for the Shire with the only thing he wanted.
I knew I had to go. If this great leader was reduced to a quivering wreck by the ring's power what hope was there for the rest of us? For me? I have just been blind to the ring's power, I have not really had to resist it. I had made a promise to all nine of my companions to protect them and to destroy the ring. The only way I could protect them was to leave them now. Release them from the ring's grip, and to protect them from being near me when I fall for the ring's power, for fall I surely will. That is when I ran. My mind was clear now. I stared at the boat and knew it was my only way out. I had made a promise, and I will honour that promise to my death. Aragorn would have argued with me, Legolas would have helped. Gimli would have shook his head and refused to let me go. Merry and Pippin would have wept to see me gone and Sam, well Sam would have jumped in the boat and took the ring to Mordor himself. "What am I waiting for? Get in the boat and get out of here before someone finds you!" It took a while to put my thoughts into action, but soon I was rowing out into the great Anduin River. It was the most beautiful sight but it washed over me like the water in the river. Just then my heart fell. "I'm coming Mr Frodo" rang in my ears as Sam's voice rang out across the river. Why did he do it? Why did he have to come? I turned round to look at him and my heart shot straight through my head. Sam was running through the river towards me and as he got deeper he struggled more and more. Sam couldn't swim. I am not sure what came over me but before I knew what was happening Sam was in the boat next to me smiling. He looked at me with his vulnerable brown eyes and smiled his naïve, childlike grin and said, "Mr Gandalf said 'don't you leave Frodo, Samwise Gamgee!' And I don't plant to, I am coming wherever you go, Mr Frodo" All my anger and bitterness towards him melted away in that instant. Sam could play me like a fiddle (DON'T even think of laughing, dirty dirty girl!) He knew exactly what to say to make me feel wonderfully happy and loved, and the funny thing was that he didn't even know it. After being ready to give him a piece of my mind to him was "I'm glad you're with me, Sam." Then Sam looked at me with his innocent eyes welling with tears and wrapped his arms around me. "I'm glad to be here, Mr Frodo" he whispered and gently pulled away and kissed me on the forehead. There is nothing unusual about that is there? A hobbit who has just nearly drowned and was saved by a hobbit he has known for nearly his whole life gave him a hug and an innocent kiss on the forehead. That isn't strange, is it? If I hadn't seen the look in Sam's eyes I would have not thought anything of it. There was a look of sorrow in his sugary face, almost of despair. The only time I had ever seen a look like that in anyone's face was when Pippin had worked himself up to ask a young hobbit to dance and the young hobbit said no. From that day on whenever Pippin looked at that one young hobbit he so desired and loved, he had the same look that Sam had when he looked a me. Sam was in love with me? I knew he loved me as a friend and a brother, I loved Sam in that way, but Sam did not love me, he was in love with me. But the thing that bugged me the most was why did that thought fill me with a strange excitement?
I knew that trying to hide the fact my brain was in overdrive was pointless, as this was Sam I was talking about! He could read me like a book. So I didn't try. I was snappy and rude with him, in fact I was downright mean to him. Every time he thought I wasn't looking I'd sneak a glance at him and every time I looked I saw either a look of despair or a look of concern and puzzlement as he tried to not look at me directly. I was like a pressure cooker. The ring was getting heavier, I had hardly any sleep or food, was in constant danger with the one person I cared about the most and the one person I wanted to be a million miles away from. The more the thought of Sam being in love with me rattled around my head the more the thought no longer caused my brain to ache as my heart bleed for my poor, beloved Sam is set up for heartache and unrequited love. The thought even caused me to daydream about what would come of a love affair between Sam and I. The more I thought about it, and I did so from the moment I woke to the moment I slept, I realised Sam was not alone. I was in love with Sam. That is as far as my thoughts went before I started back at the beginning again, thinking "don't be silly Frodo, Sam has been your friend for as long as you can remember! You can't be attracted to him, it is too absurd" So I just went around in circles. I am not sure how those four days we climbed and toiled together on those mountains called Emyn Muil did not break me. Four days that were more like four years. But once those three days came to a head my feelings for Sam were no longer a mystery. Gollum grabbed Sam from behind and Sam battled with him. Sam tried to hold Sam down. I grabbed Sting and wrapped my finger's round Gollum's throat. I wanted to rip his head to pieces. I wanted to slowly slice his scrawny, repulsive body until he screamed for mercy. I wanted to pull those grotesques, bulging eyeballs out of his skull, purely because I had seen the look of anger and terror in Sam's eyes. It was Sam that stopped me doing any of that. I knew that someone as loving, trusting and kind as Sam would never want me to hurt someone in his name. So I feebly grabbed Gollum and held Sting to his throat and whispered "hello, this is Sting, but you've see him before, haven't you?" Gollum did me the biggest favour he could. He opened my eyes to the fact I was truly, madly, deeply in love with Sam. If it wasn't for Gollum I would probably cried. I had to keep my eyes on Gollum, because if I had looked at Sam I would never have wanted to turn my eyes from him. As we tied Gollum up and talked to him all I wanted to do was to hold him. I had wasted all my lifetime with Sam, and it tore me to pieces as I wasted priceless minutes on that thing that lay screaming and writhing next to me. As I finally brought myself to look at Sam the world shook and my body trembled. I saw Sam in a way like never before. It was like I had watched Sam in the way he tends his beloved flowers, grow and develop and I had only just seen him come into bloom. His deep, brown eyes seemed to possess all the knowledge and love the world could give while they sparkled with a naivety and trust that only a new born could possess. Those lips parted into his shy, slightly nervous, and loving smile sent why whole world swirling and twirling that day. But something shook me out of Sam's trance. On his left cheek there was a small cut going diagonally across it. All my anger and violence bubbled in my veins. I would have given anything I owned and I dare say I would have happily given the ring to Sauron himself there and then if he could have made the whole world disappear. I wanted to hold Sam. I wanted to have him in my arms and comfort him. No one as amazing him should ever be hurt. I wanted to hold him and make sure no one hurt him ever again.
Gollum came with us. When I saw him and saw the wretchedness in his eyes I realised he dud not deserve death, he deserved pity. When I saw him there and talked to him I thought of Boromir. If a leader of men was reduced to a nervous wreck by the ring, even a hobbit of half his status would be reduced to what Gollum was. Nothing. I could not kill him. So he came with us. In the three days that past, and I went from heaven to hell. I was nearing Mordor, and the ring was getting heavy. We did not, could not sleep much, and any sleep I did get was marred with dreams of Nazgul and Sauron. This was physically wearing, but the real knives sliced my mind when I saw the pain and despair and foreboding in Sam's eyes. Oh he never breathed a word. His smile shone as brightly as ever and his words lightened my spirits until I saw his eyes. Sam is too trusting to lie. His eyes showed his pain and I could not get them out of my head. Even when I slept. I kept control of myself. The ring would not break me yet. That was until the forth evening when Gollum left. Sam and I were alone. I was lying with my back to the fire as Sam sat cooking and I let a small tear run down my face. "Mr Frodo?" Sam said. "Mr Frodo? Please Mr Frodo, what is wrong? You can tell Sam of your troubles, they are troubling me too" said Sam with his voice cracking with concern and despair. Sam left the fire side and sat beside me and placed his shaking arm around me. I just curled up and cried right there in his arms. I don't know what made me cry. The hunger, weariness and despair that Sam and I felt or the fact I was too scared to tell Sam I loved him. Lying to him was too much to bear when I looked in to those loving, trusting eyes. Once I was in control again Sam whispered in my ear, "What's is wrong Mr Frodo?" I lost it again and blurted out: "I have only just realised I love you" "Sam whispered "I love you too, Mr Frodo"
When I woke up I immediately smiled. I was where I have been when I slept, with my head in Sam's lap. I turned to look at Sam and all the exhaustion that had shrouded my body lifted as Sam smiled his sweet, open smile at me. But something was different about him. He no longer had to lie. He could show me the love and affection he felt. "massster! Please come! It is nearly morning, the nice hobbitsess must hurry if they wish to see the Black Gates before nightfall" said Gollum, after he had finished coming back from getting food. Sam scowled and shoved his pans back into his pack, before turning to help me pack my bags. We were in the worst place in the world. The water reeked of decay and age, and bellow the water there were the faces. "Elves" Gollum told us "all dead. Elves men and orcsess. There was a great battle long ago, yes it's called the Dead Marshes. All faces dead, all rotten" The faces glared upwards, their eyes bulging and raw. Their skin was yellowy pale and even fair Elves were sore to the eye. For thousand of years they had lay in the stale, festering water rotting and decomposing. Forgotten. Only mourned by the "candles of the Corpses". All of their faces frozen with terror. Horror was captured in their eyes. Gollum bounded along in front of us seemingly unaffected by the death and destruction around him. The marshes were almost mesmerising in their repulsiveness. I watched fear grow in Sam's eyes and slipped my hand in his. He glanced at me and curled his fingers round my hand, and we carried on walking hand in hand. As the day dragged on Sam and I became weary, but Gollum pressed on. "Come along, hobbitsess! Must not get behind, must we? Must reach the Black Gates before nightfall." Gollum urged. I had become almost use to Gollum. He may be wretched and selfish but without him Sam and I would almost certainly got lost on Emyn Muil. I knew I was wrong to think Gollum could be trusted, but when I saw how pathetic he was I could not see how he could harm us. To Sam's amazement later that day we arrived at the Black Gates unharmed and still with a placid Gollum. The gate was locked and heavily guarded. We were not getting into Mordor easily. "This is it" I thought "there is no hope left. I have failed, which is hardly surprising." I did not feel a thing. I knew that this day would come, so in a way I had prepared myself for it. I just felt numb. Gollum and Sam argued over what to do now, Gollum saying how he was only doing what "master" told him to do. "I did tell him to take us to the Black Gate, for I know no other way in to Mordor. I intend to go into Mordor, but I do not ask anyone to come with me" Gollum pleaded with me to give the ring to him and not to Sauron, and Sam just looked at me trying to hide the look of despair in his eyes. It was useless. I knew as well as he knew that I could not turn back. I knew he would have done anything to return to the Shire and back to his old Gaffer, but he would come with me into Mordor. I was dragging the one hobbit I loved to certain death. It was Gollum who offered the tiny shaft of light through the darkness. Through the wailing and pleading he cried "there is another way!" After some discussion Gollum revealed there was another route into Mordor, a route few people knew. I hated taking the chance on Gollum again, but if there was a glimmer of hope then I must take it. I promised to take the ring to Mordor and if that involves placing my own life in Gollum's hands then so be it.
The nest day we set off in the search of Gollum's second route into Mordor. Something was different today. Sam and I knew that thing was the last hope we had. If we blew it, the world would fall. It was now I needed Aragorn more than ever. He could tell me if I should trust Gollum, what is going to happen next, and what I should do next. All questions I wanted answers to. But when I got on the boat all that time ago I chose to be alone, and alone I was. During the next two days the tension crackled and fizzed. The ring became increasingly heavy, and like a magnet my hand was drawn to it. Even my mind was drawn to it, all my thoughts focused on it. I could not understand why I had not failed. Why were we still alive? Boromir would have failed and he was a leader of Men. Why had I held out for so long? It was not long before I did slip up. Sam and I heard them coming, how we let four big Men sneak up on us I will never know. Before I knew it we both had our swords drawn and we staring intently at each other. "We have not found what we sought" said one of them "but what have we found?" The discussed us among themselves as Sam and I stood, swords drawn working out what to do next. It was Sam that at last spoke. "Thank you kindly. And when you've finished discussing us perhaps you would mind telling who you are" he said. The cockiness in his voice would fool anyone but me, who could here the terrified undertones in his voice. I would have laughed out loud if it had not been for the swords pointed at me. I couldn't leave this all to Sam, so when the leader, who we learnt to be Captain Faramir, talked about servants of the Dark Tower or the white I spoke. "We are neither" I said "and travellers we are, whatever Captain Faramir says". They asked us about Gollum and I told them our names. I knew that if Sam and I were to get away and back on our journey I must tell them something about our errand. "We have come along way - out of Rivendell or Imladris as some call it. Seven companions we had: one we lost at Moria, the others we left at Parth Galen above Rauros: two of my kin: a Dwarf there was, and an Elf, and two Men. They were Aragorn and Boromir, who said that he came out of Minas Tirith, a city in the South" All of the men looked amazed at the mention of Boromir. After more questioning as to where we were knew Boromir from and to check we genuinely knew Borormir, Faramir left us with two guards to protect us, as he seemed convinced that our intentions were good. When Faramir left Sam and I sat down side by side and all energy seemed to flow from me. I was suddenly filled with a sort of giggly relief. I realised how lucky we were that it was Faramir that managed to find us. If it had been a servant of the enemy Sam and I would most certainly be dead, and Middle Earth would have fallen under Sauron. Sam and I were exceptionally vulnerable and I was pleased to see the sight of the strong guards. But once the initial relief wore off I realised what I was faced with. Once Faramir returned we would be questioned as to what the purpose of our journey was. I could not tell him, could I? He seemed noble, but then I then remembered the first and the last time I saw Boromir. At the Council of Elrond he had stood tall, proud and noble like and son of a lord should. Then I saw him pleading with me, and the look of despair in his eyes. If the ring could seduce Boromir, then why not Faramir? The ring must remain secret. I debated with myself over whether to tell Faramir of out quest, but eventually Sam made up my mind for me. After the first day, where Faramir spoke of Elves, ancient ledgend and of Aragorn, son of Arathor, and heir to the throne of Gondor, I did not have a choice. The day was long and Sam, Faramir and I were sitting and talking of ancient ledgends, and I had drifted into my own world of thoughts, when I was shaken out of it in a state of shock. "From the moment he saw it he wanted the enemy's ring" said Sam before recoiling in horror. "Sam!" I cried, now knowing that our only hope was to run. Sam's mouth went into overdrive, as he rambled about his old Gaffer. He squirmed with embarrassment and shock, and he was flushing white and scarlet. I couldn't bear to see Sam squirm so I manically looked around the room for a way to escape. When Sam's voice died down after trying desperately to redeem himself, Faramir spoke: "So that is the answer to all the riddles! The One Ring that was thought to have perished from the world. And Boromir tried to take it by force? And you escaped? And ran all the way - to me! And here in the wild I have you: two Halflings, and a host of men at my call, and the Ring of Rings. A pretty stroke of fortune. A chance for Faramir, Captain of Gondor, to show his quality! Ha!" Sam and I were rooted to the spot. Throughout the day I had become fond of Faramir, and I became to trust him. But then Boromir had fought valiantly to protect me, until the ring had taken hold. But I stared into his eyes, trying to see if that glint in his eye was a look of amusement or greed. Sam and I backed away to the wall and both went to grab our swords from our sword-hilts. There was a deafening silence in the room and all the men there stood, their eyes fixed on Faramir, hardly daring to breathe. Faramir then sat down and said quite quietly "alas for Boromir! It was too sore a trial! How you have increased my sorrow, you two strange wanderers from a far away country, bearing the Peril of Men! But you are less judges of Men than I of Halflings. We are truth - speakers, we Men of Gondor. We boast seldom, and then perform, or die in the attempt. "Not if I found it on the highway would I take it", I said. Even if I were such a man as to desire this thing, and even though I knew not dearly what this thing was when I spoke, still I should take those words as a vow, and be held by them" I did not here the rest of what Faramir said, as I was trying to calm myself. I glanced over to Sam and saw a look of shame and apology in his face as he looked to show him it was OK. I still loved him. I didn't even feel angry at him, not when I saw the look of self-loathing in his eyes. Sam and I sat down next to Faramir. That night I slept comfortably and for the first time in months, in fact since I left Rivendell. It was Faramir who woke me only asking if I would come with him as he desired my counsel. I followed him to an opening in the rock where I looked down upon a pool. It sparkled and glittered under the moonlight. The way it shimmered under the stars made me catch my breath. When I looked down properly I saw a familiar creatures skulking around the pool. Gollum. He was singing to himself and with a fish. It struck me that Gollum was nowhere to be seen when Faramir had captured us. Where had he been? And why had Faramir taken me here in the middle of the night? I turned to see Sam next to me. "It's a fine view, no doubt, Mr Frodo, but chilly to the heart, not to mention the bones! What is going on?" Faramir answered, offering a draught of wine. We looked out from the ledge watching the pool, gazing out over it's glittering coat. Faramir turned to talk to a man who stood next to him. The man spoke to Faramir. "We wait for you command to shoot, Captain" Faramir turned to me and said "shall we shoot?" I stood to think. Gollum was a murderer, and would probably cause my own death, so surely he should be shot? But when I looked at the pathetic wretch I could not bring myself to harm him. He had been useful to far, and doubtless he could be again. "No! I beg you not to!" I said Faramir was cleverer than I, and he pressed me as to why he should be spared. "There are two answers, I think" I said. "For one thing, he knows little of Men, and sly though he is, your refuge is so hidden that perhaps he does not know that Men are concealed here. For another, I think he is allured here by as mastering desire, stranger than he caution" I told Faramir that Gollum had once owned the Ring. We then watched him as he fished. Faramir chuckled softly and said "fish! It is a less perilous hunger. Or maybe not: Fish from the pool of Henneth Annûn may cost him all he has to give" After much negotiation with Faramir, I went down and spoke to Gollum. Gollum came with me, and his life was spared. It took time, but Gollum came to trust me and the pity I felt for him for the first time I saw him returned. I could not understand it. Sam despised him, Faramir was disgusted by him, so why did I just pity him? After a while Gollum agreed to be my guide, and serve me as his master. Faramir and I were satisfied, so we returned to bed. Later, Sam, Gollum and I left Faramir. I will always remember Faramir fondly. All my faith in Men had been lost that day I left the Fellowship, until I met Faramir. He could have had everything, but he was not blinded by power. It would have been so easy for him, but he was wise enough to see beyond power, and for the world should be forever in his debt.
As the days drew on day merged into night and I was unsure how long we travelled. Gollum urged us on, but sometimes he was gone for hours. We climbed and struggled upwards for days. I could not even care about the quest any more. I just wanted all the pain, hunger and tiredness to stop. I wanted just to be back in Bag End, just Sam and I. I wanted to make up for the time I had wasted with Sam. I wanted it to just be him and I, together forever. We travelled through stairways, and passages for days and weariness consumes me. After the time with Faramir, the ring had become the focus of all my thoughts. I lost count of the times I'd find my hand drifting towards the ring, and Sam had to tap it to stop me putting it on. If Sam had not been with me, Sauron would be our king. It was not just that he physically stopped me from putting the ring on; he reminded me why I was here, cold, hungry and exhausted. When I caught his eye and he flashed me that sweet, innocent smile I knew I couldn't let him down. Even if I did not care about myself I cared about him. I knew then that I was not going to until I was dead or the ring was destroyed. It was not until the fifth day when terror gripped us again, Gollum lead us to the final treacherous tunnel. Sam and I cowered back from the darkness, but Gollum insisted we went on. In that tunnel a panic grew over me. The darkness seemed to consume you. But on I went and as I went the terror grew. It seemed like my blood ran cold and my brain was working at 10 times its normal speed. I was also suddenly aware that Gollum was not with us. Then I heard it. The gurgling, bubbling noise. I had now seemed to have completely detached my body from my mind. I reached for the gift Galadriel had given me on our parting, the Phial of Galadriel. I spoke the sweet Elven words and the light shone out. That was when Sam and I saw them. Those glowering bulging eyes leering with delight. Sam and I stood paralysed but with our minds pleading with us to flee. And then we fled. The eyes were coming. Faster, faster and my mind was clear. The phial was my weapon. If Sam and I could get out of there then any pain in the world was insignificant. I turned with sting in one hand, the Phial in the other to face the eyes and held the Phial out proud. One by one the eyes closed and blinded by the light they retreated. We turned to leave the tunnel but we were faced with more obstacles. The entrance was covered with something. Frantically Sam hacked until I drew sting and ripped and tore. It seemed like an age but at last we were free. We allowed ourselves a few moments to revel in a victory before we started to run out of the passage and away from danger. But our smugness was short lived. Sam had barely put the Phial away before Sam saw the foreboding eyes, eyes that could bore through flesh and bone. The body swollen, it looked most like a spider. I ran oblivious to the danger around me. My heart was still on fire and weariness was held at bay by the surge of excitement in my veins. I felt that Sam and I could take on anything, me and my hobbit. Then I heard Sam's cry which froze my whole body as It oozed terror and dripped with panic. "Look out behind!"
As I looked around my heart welled up with an immense despair that hurt. It made it almost impossible to breathe. I knew I'd failed Sam. The ring was gone. The Orcs who I now know took my lifeless body to Cirith Ungol I had taken every thing I had. My mind was free to think again, and all I could think about was Sam. He was alone. I was wearier than I had ever been. I was cold, hungry and with a fatigue that consumed me. But I could not sleep because every time I closed my eyes I saw him. Alone. Weeping. His eyes shrouded by black. All I could do was weep for him. How could I say I love him and leave him? I was powerless and I could not be there and take his pain away and watch his shy smile consume his face. "Is all you can do weep, Frodo Baggins? Are you seriously going to just leave the hobbit you love to be alone to certain death?" It kept on swimming round my mind. So soon tears of sadness turned to tears of anger. But mixed in with this was fear. I was terrified. Terrifed I would never get to say the things I wanted to say to Sam. Never get to love him in the way I wanted to. Never get to do the things I wanted to do with him. Then something happened that until the day I die will not know how it happened. It made my world shake and made my mind go haywire. Sam walked in the room. He ran to me and his eyes spun me round and his smile seemed to make the room bright and his very presence lightened the room.
He came and flung his arms around me and I held him tight. I had failed him and I would be dead before I made that mistake again. It felt that somehow if I never let him go no one could ever hurt us. Sam and I would never let each other go. It was Sam and I against the world. Me and my Guy (lol joke, I just have that song on at the mo!) He slowly stepped back to look at me, and when I looked into his brow, adorable soulful eyes I knew I couldn't wait. I had tried to concentrate on the task at hand, but now that seemed pointless. I ran my fingers through his hair, leaned in and kissed those lips that could so flaw me. It felt so perfect. Sam pushed me down on the rags that covered the floor and there we lay. He wrapped his arms around me and I kissed his lips and face. The world could have fallen down around us and we wouldn't have noticed, we were too wrapped up in each other, as we lay there intertwined. He was intoxicating. The sweet taste of his lips lingered on mine and his smell seemed to blow through my mind like a summer breeze. I was in the worst place in the world, but nothing seemed to matter. I gently pushed Sam off, as much to my annoyance there was a world to save!
"Sam!" I gasped "what are we going to do now?" I said my mind finally stopping whirring. Sam smiled like I had never seen him smile before. It was brighter, sweeter, and gentler than before. He leaned towards me and quickly but gently kissed me on the lips. "What was that for?" I smiled.
"You have no idea how long I have waited for that" he grinned "I have loved you for years now. You have made me happier that I have ever been before, Mr Frodo. Thank you" he said making me dizzy with that earth shattering smile.
I smiled back before finally snapping myself out of my happy dream.
"Sam, come on! We have a problem here. When I was taken away they took everything. We don't have the ring, they took it. It is too late!" I said, the full impact of us failing finally dawned on me. "No they didn't" said Sam "I took it. When I saw you lying there I thought you were dead, so I took the ring and went on. It was not until I overheard the Orcs talking about you that I realised weren't dead. I followed them and here I am!" he said cheerfully. I saw red. When he showed me the ring and grabbed it and stepped back. "You stole from me! It is mine! You had no right to take it. How could you? It is mine, my only my precious" I ranted. I couldn't stop myself; I didn't know what was going on. My mouth was saying one thing and my brain was saying another. All I could think was "why am I doing this?" Sam looked at his feet the whole time, but I could sadness in his eyes. When I finally stopped I felt so dirty. How could I hurt him? He has done nothing but love me and al I could do was hurt him. "Sam! Oh I'm ." Sam silenced me by putting his fingers on my lips, and kissed my forehead. "It doesn't matter. It wasn't you. The ring spoke, you were silent" he said. Oh if only I was. When I opened my clenched fist and saw the ring I loathed it. What was the limit of it's hate, it's malice, it's evil? I wanted to drop it there and then and run back to the Shire. I wanted to forget the ring ever existed. "I'll go and find some armour and clothes before we leave" Sam said before he left the room. I sat down and allowed myself to slip into a daydream. Sam and I were back at Bag End and we had never heard of the rings of power, Mordor, or Gollum. It was all too soon before we set off again
Sam and I changed into the Orc mail and set off on the journey out of the tower. We climbed down the flights of stairs. As we went further and further exhaustion swept over me. I remembered my hunger, tiredness and pain and almost fainted. How I managed to get through those stairs will remain a mystery to me until this day. When I reached the bottom my knees caved in and I couldn't move anymore. We still had to get past the gate. Sam drew out the Elven -glass of Galadriel, spoke those beautiful Elven words as the light shone out. The light seemed to pump through my veins and supply me with energy as Sam and I ran through the gates. It was a miracle we escaped. When we stopped running the cry of the Nazgûl echoed out around the cliffs. My blood felt like ice as the deadly cry rattled round my brain. I walked over to the edge of the Eastern face of Ephel Dúath and started down the sheer side into darkness. The search had begun. Orcs and the Nazgûl would be out in force trying to trace two Halflings running scared through Mordor with the ring of power. Anyone who had not seen it would have laughed out loud. AS we stood and looked over the edge we knew there was nothing for it. We scrambled down onto the ledge just bellow us and then stared down into the gut wrenching blackness. Sam turned to me with a look of terror in his eyes and said: "Well, here goes Mr Frodo. Goodbye!" and was gone and I followed. As we fell the thud of horsemen above echoed. We must have only fell dozen feet before land on, much to my surprise, thorny bushes. As we lay there in the dark I could hear the heavy clunk of horse shoes above. The search was on. They would not stop until they had found us. We struggled out of the bushes the pain of the days gone by seemed to sear through me. Every aspect of me ached. It seemed to make me dizzy and the darkness shivered and it took all my energy to remain consciousness. Sam grabbed my hand and ran. If I had any strength I would have screamed, but it made me remember why I had to go on. We struggled and stumbling among the rocks down into the valley. It was day now but it was darker than any night in the Shire. I have no idea how long we fought the rocks and darkness before we stopped. We sat side by side as we rested. That was when the hopelessness of it all hit me. Even if we did destroy the ring we ourselves would die together on the sloped of Mount Doom. As I say there I was scared witless. I hated myself for that. I knew I did not matter. What mattered was that the ring was destroyed. I hated myself for being scared. I was disgusted with myself for being selfish. It was so silly. If you had put Gandalf, Aragorn, Legolas or Gimli here they would be just as scared as me. That thought just made me even angrier with myself. As I sat there consumed in my own thoughts I felt a hand gently reaching out to hold my hand. I was astonished. It was as if he knew the blackness of my thoughts. He knew him merely being there would give me a star, a glimmer of hope. My thoughts then turned to Sam. Was he sitting there thinking "why did I ever come with him?" I knew I had no opportunity to turn back. He didn't have to have come with me when I left Rivendell. He could have not gone with me when I left the rest of the Fellowship. He could have turned back when I was attacked by Shelob. Why was he here?
Days blurred into nights and Sam and I went on. I could not take the weight of Orc mail and bags. I took Sam's Elven cloak and wrapped it round me to keep off the cold chill from the Mordor air and the ring hung round my neck. The ring was increasingly heavy. It took any strength I had to carry it. I found my mind drifting to thoughts of it. I would find my hand slowly drifting to hold it. I knew that if I put it on Sauron would know exactly where we were. Middle Earth would fall within hours. I am still unsure as to how I stopped myself from putting that ring on. As time went on I became ever more drained. The ring was getting heavier, and I was becoming weaker. I has little sleep, and whatever sleep I had was more draining that the times travelling. My dreams were filled with fire and pain. One other thing that preyed on my mind was the lack of food. Our food supplies were small, and I was unsure if it would even last until we got to Mount Doom. But something irritated me more than ever. I now knew we would make it back to the Shire. I would die here with Sam alone, with no comfort, and with no hope. Sam never failed to amaze me. He toiled on and never seemed to lose hope. Whenever I was in the darkest parts of my mind he was there to hold me or kiss me and give me the willpower I needed to go on. All this just made me love him more.
Sam never did give up hope. I doubt he will ever bring himself to accept that sometimes evil does defeat good. It was on the foot of Mount Doom that I saw Sam come close to losing hope. "We shan't need much on this road. And at it's end nothing" I said, I flinging my Orc weaponry on the ground. I was sick of fighting. I would not fight anymore. If they wanted to take me then I would not fight them. I turned to face Sam I saw tears blurring his pretty eyes as he laid his pots and pans down. I could see as I looked into his face that he was breaking. I walked over to him and put my arms round his waist and kissed him. I just wanted to kiss all the pain away. I wiped the tears from his eyes away, because I knew if Sam broke I would be nothing, I was pathetic without and Sam, always have been, always will be. I took his hand and led him as we walked side by side as we journeyed along the last road to the top of Mount Doom. My heart was shrouded with a strange sense of sadness. As I walked I concentrated on keeping all my thoughts at bay. I knew if I started thinking I could never control them. We were in the last part of our journey before he returned. I can't remember what happened but before I could switch my brain on Gollum was lunging at my throat. I couldn't understand why my strength was suddenly revived. I had gone from an emotionless shell to and an angry aggressive rage. What could change me? It was staring right in front of me. The ring. "Go on, go on! No time to lose, I'll deal with him. Go on!" Sam cried once we had finally quelled Gollum's rage. I had to go. Any longer with the ring and I would explode. It was then that I understood what type of control the ring had over me and that I had to get free from it. "Farewell Sam! This is the end at last. On Mount Doom doom shall fall. Farewell" I said, not daring to face him. I turned and fled up the path, tears blurring my view and making me stumble I ran desperately as I fixed my eyes on Mount Doom. As I ran it was as if someone had unlocked a box of emotions and there was nothing I could do but feel them. It was not long before I was staring down into the fires bellow. The reds and oranges twisted and twirled and I was mesmerised by them. I took the ring from the chain around my neck. As I stood and saw the flames make the gold of the ring glimmer I curled my fingers around it and turned the ring over and over in my hand. I couldn't let it go. Seeing its shimmering beauty in my hands made me think twice. I would never destroy it. I seemed to forget the past 3 years and forget the world around me. All I could think of was the ring. Why should I give it up? It was mine, I could control it. I had managed to do so so far. I stood watching the flames in the gold. It was like glue, my eyes could not be turned away. I wasn't aware of his footsteps behind me, I only heard him when he spoke. "Master" Sam cried and I turned myself to face him. "I have come, but I do not choose to do this deed. The ring is mine!" I said and with that I put the ring on. And slipped from sight. Everything seemed clear some how. Everything seemed easy if you were emotionless. I could have had a knife slice me and I would not have felt a thing. I would have bled metal. I was indestructible. I turned away from the abyss and as I did I turned to face Gollum. He reached out, wildly grabbing me. I swung him round and held him over the fire, but he twisted and squirmed. He lunged out at my finger, sinking his teeth into it. I pushed him away I n shock as the searing pain shuddered up my hand. I fell back and watched Gollum fall into the curling red and orange flames taking the ring with. As I lay there blood seemed to flow round my body again. It was like waking after a long sleep and watching the light streaming through your window and smelling flowers in the air and feeling alive. I pulled myself up and walked over to stand beside a dazed Sam. I took his hand and held it tight. "Well this is the end, Sam Gamgee" I whispered trying to keep my voice steady. Tears streamed down my face as I stood there in the dark. He turned to face me. "Master" he cried as tears welled in his eyes and he shook. Seeing him again was like seeing him the first time after Gollum first came. He shone with the same sweet beauty he had then, and his smile sent a shimmering light shuddering round Mordor. "Your poor hand!" He continued. "And I have nothing to bind it with, or comfort it. I would have spared him a whole hand of mine rather" I hushed him by kissing him lightly "I love you Sam" I whispered as he pulled me closer and kissed me. Tears of joy streamed down my face as my heart broke. I was finally free to love Sam as I wanted to and I knew I was going to lose him. I wanted to stay like we were forever. Why had I wasted so much time? One thing was clear. I couldn't waste anymore time. I wrapped my cloak around us to shield us from the cold air as we turned to walk down the mountain path. We walked for some time before we cold not walk any more. We sat down beside each other and Sam reached out for my hand. I took it and pulled him closer to me. I pulled him closer to me. If we were going to die here I'd be damned if we were going to die alone. As I lay there I played with Sam's hair. As I looked up at the sky and then over to Sam a revelation came to me. If I died now I had found everything I had wanted so I could be happy. And all of this was due to Sam. "Sam" I said "I have just realised something. I have never thanked you for coming here with me. You came knowing you would almost certainly die but you still came" I said as I watched Sam blush with delight. "I'll follow you, Master, anywhere" He replied. I smiled and leaned over and whispered "I think you can stop calling me Master now Sam" into his ear. I kissed his lips. As we lay there at what seemed like the end of everything in each other's arms I caught a glimpse of something in the corner of my eye. I turned to face it and as I did my heart left. Gandalf was soaring above us on an eagle. Sam and I watched in disbelief as he swooped down beside us. As he landed he was laughing softly as he smiled. Sam and I both ran to him and flung our arms around him. I had never been so happy to see him in my life. Gandalf picked us up and placed us on the eagle before jumping on the eagle's back himself. "Fly fast Gwahir, fly" He called. We soared through the sky and my head was filled with the icy cold clean air. We could not speak, none of us wanted to ruin the moment. I would have happily stayed like that forever. Anything that happened from now on would not, could not, hurt me. Everything seemed trivial when I was so high. I held Sam's hand as tightly as I could as I drifted into the first dreamless sleep I'd had in weeks.
The next time I opened my eyes I was in a state of confusion. It was not a dream? Gandalf had come to us on Gwahir? We were saved? I sat up in my bed and gazed round the room not allowing myself to believe what I saw. I was dead, that was how it was destined to be. As I stood up I became giddy and light. The bitter, twisted anger that had built up inside me had finally floated away. I walked over to the bed next to me and looked down on Sam as he slept. I had sat and watched him sleep many times along our journey, but now as I watched him, at last he looked peaceful. A face as beautiful as Sam's should never be twisted by fear or pain. As my sleepiness wore off an impatience grew. I wanted Sam to wake and share my happiness. I wanted Gandalf to come in so I could see him again and thank him. I wanted to see if Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli were OK. I wanted to tell Merry and Pippin everything. I looked around desperately wanting someone to talk to and as I turned to face the door Gandalf entered I ran up to him and flung my arms around him. "Frodo! You're awake at last! I have been so worried! But come rest now, you have been through a lot!" He ushered me back to my bed. We sat and talked, swapping tales of our travels before weariness took me and Gandalf went to leave me to sleep some more. Before he left he turned to me smiling. "You took your time with Sam" "What?" "You talk in your sleep." And with that he was gone.
When I woke again I heard Sam's voice. "Isn't it a shame about his poor hand? But I hope he's all right otherwise. He's bad a cruel time" he said and I smiled to hear the joy and delight in his voice. "Yes I am all right otherwise" I said. Sam looked at me with his glittery eyes and smiled a smile of pure happiness. I took his hand and kissed him and it was not until then that I had let myself feel truly peaceful, knowing that the quest was finally over. Now I knew that Sam was safe I knew that all the pain could be forgotten. It didn't matter now. All that mattered was that everything was going to be OK. That day was dreamlike. It was now noon so Sam and I dressed and are a small meal before venturing out into the beautiful green lawns of Ithilien, and much to our amazement we were greeted by singing. As we walked through the crowd we saw three raised seats. In the centre sat Aragorn. He smiled widely at us and gestured to us to sit beside him. I ran to meet him. So many questions buzzed in my mind. We had so much to ask him, so much to talk to him about, so many stories to tell. The day went on and it was a day that I would never have thought would have happened. We sang, danced, ate and chatted until late, but I was distracted. I wanted to talk to the Fellowship. I had still not heard the tales of their travels and it was those I wanted to hear the most. When it came to the evening we finally managed to slip away under the magical trees and tell stories of the past few weeks. Merry and Pippin came first, but soon Gimli and Legolas joined us. We talked deep into the night, all of us fascinated with each other's tales, and all of us how we did it. How, after all those years the one ring was destroyed. As the night went on, a niggling thought irritated me, as I knew there was something I had put off got too long. We grew weary and we knew it would take weeks for us to catch up completely. "To bed now I go. And so shall I" Gimli said, and all of us agreed. I was almost giddy with the happiness and relief I felt at the knowledge that all my companions were safe. We all rose and left to go our separate ways to bed. But before I slept there was one thing I must do. Thank Sam properly. As I shut the door to our room I was determined to wipe the innocence out of Sam's smile one and for all.