The Candle Man
It was a normal day, almost just like any other, except today would be the day that "he" arrived.
"Hurry up, Ero-Sennin; I want to reach Konoha today!" Yelled a young blonde boy as he turned around to face the white-haired man lagging behind.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming. Jeez, tadpoles nowadays have no respect for their elders." The white-haired man grumbled under his breath.
The blonde turned around to see a large village just over the next hill.
"Hey, Ero-Sennin, want to play a game of tag?" asked the blonde. "I'll even use my Orieke no Jutsu."
"Fine," The white head replied before a cloud of smoke poofed into existence in front of him. Soon, a blonde hair girl appeared out of the smoke.
"Hahaha, catch me if you can, Ero-Sennin." The blonde said before running off towards the village, with the pervert chasing afterwards.
MEANWHILE
Hmm, almost there. Thought a man wearing a black cloak with blue clouds. Following behind him were a woman about the same age as him, and a teenage girl, about 17.
"Are we there yet?" The girl whined.
"No, honey, but would you like a piggy back ride?" The woman answered with a smile.
"Sure!" the little girl replied before hopping up on the woman's shoulders. "Wow, I can see for miles from up here. Hey, there's the village. Do you think we will arrive by tonight?" She asked hopefully.
"Probably, we can get something to eat tonight and do our job in the morning. What would you like to eat baby?" The said before snickering as the girl stuck out her tongue.
"Dad, I'm not a baby, I'm just not fully grown up yet. And nothing with any sea animals in it, okay Dad." The girl replied, quickly regaining her composure.
"Yes ma'am, and for you Haino-kun? The man replied with a loving smile that only could belong to a man with the two girls he loved.
"Ohh, just get me some rice balls." The older woman replied.
"Okay, while I do that, can you two set up camp?" I asked expectantly.
"Sure," They replied together.
So as the girls set up camp, the man walked into Konoha to get dinner for everyone. Not aware that tomorrow, his life would change.
Meanwhile
Ahh, it feels good to be home. The blonde now turned back into a boy thought. I can't wait to see everyone.
"Hey, Naruto!" Yelled a certain pink hair girl. "Hokage-sama wants to see us and Jiriya immediately"
"Ughh, fine." The boy sighed before leaping onto a roof and bound away towards the Hokage tower with Sakura, and Jiriya right behind him.
Upon reaching the tower, Naruto opened the door to find Tsunade, the Hokage, arguing with a man wearing a monkey mask with Shizune holding Ton-ton asleep in a chair nearby.
"What do you mean someone from the Akatsuki was spotted crossing the border. Why am I just hearing about this now! And for the sake of all that's good and sacred, where in Sake's name are Naruto, Sakura, and Jiriya?" She screamed.
"Hey, Baa-chan, Kakashi-sensei. What did you call us here for?" Naruto asked, popping up from under Tsunade's desk.
"And I know that it's Kakashi under that mask because of that infernal perverted book in your back pocket, you had that bad habit of being late as pointed out by Baa-chan, and an ANBU's mask reflects their skills, and a monkey would be appropriate for you with your Sharingan, you know, 'monkey see, monkey do'.
Everyone except Jiriya and Naruto's eyes widened at his deductive skills having increased so exponentially.
"And speaking of 'that' book, you're still reading this same old one," Naruto asked, holding up the book from Kakashi's back pocket.
Kakashi's eye(s) widened further as he hadn't even noticed Naruto relieving him of his precious. Reaching behind him, he pulled out the book in his back pocket to find, instead of the normal orange-colored cover, this one had a red with gold border.
"That is the brand new, unreleased book in 'that' series, and..." Naruto said, before placing his mouth next to Kakashi's ear, "I wrote it." He whispered before saying out loud," and it's autographed by Ero-Sennin himself."
Kakashi's eye widened as far as it could go, and his breathing became very heavy to the point that he sounded like he was at the peak of pleasure.
"Anyways." Tsunade said, catching everyone's attention. "I would like to gauge yours and Sakura's progress since with an Akatsuki member being spotted crossing the border and headed this way; we need to know how strong you two are. So, as much as I would like to do the test today, it will have to wait until morning, what with Naruto just arriving back, me needing to have a talk and a drink with Jiriya, and Kakashi not available now thanks to his perverted present. (Cue glare at Naruto.) So, be at training ground 7, at 5:30 A.M. sharp. Got it?" She asked rhetorically, as every nodded any ways.
As every turned to leave, Naruto froze before bending down and pulling a sealing scroll out of his pants leg, then tossing it over his shoulder to his 'baa-chan' "I got you something too, you can thank me later." Before walking out to go eat some ramen.
Unsealing the scroll, a bottle of something and a note poofed out.
"What is it?" Shizune asked.
Tsunade picked up the note, trusting this to not be one of Naruto's pranks, before reading aloud. This is a bottle of champagne, a foreign alcoholic beverage from "The Land Hidden in the Grapevines". Apparently this is how they christen a ship sea worthy, by throwing bottles of this at it, it seems like a waste to me, and the significance of it was lost to me. They gave me 3 bottles of this stuff when I saved the village from this 'pervert' that peeped on the council's daughters. Me and Ero-Sennin tried a bottle at some point and found that it tasted better than that fox urine you call sake, also further proving my point that you just waste it by throwing the bottles at ships. If you drink this, just be careful, apparently 1 bottle of this has as much alcohol as 3 bottles of saké.
"It is the best gift my god-son has ever gotten me, come you 2, tonight me drink, drink, and drink some more.
Behind the Scenes (WARNING) Intense Plot Twist
The Next morning
Ughh, Naruto wasn't kidding, I got drunk so easy, and it tasted so good, I need to locate this village and form a treaty with them. Our favorite female Hokage thought before turning to roll out of bed. Bumping into something, she turned her head to see a white head of hair next to hair. White hair, in my bed, Jiriya, what happened last night? She thought before rolling the other way to climb out of bed to notice 3 things, 1. She was nude. 2. There were wet stains all over the bed. 3. She had this strange sense of fulfillment.