Story Title: If You Give Kakashi Porn
Rated: R/M
Pairing: Kakashi/Iruka
Disclaimer: Naruto © Kishimoto Masashi
Summary: Icha Icha inspires and Genma has it coming.
Steve's Notes: If this story seems like it comes out of left field, that's because it did. I jokingly told one of my reviewers that considering Kakashi's pervertedness, you could get him to have sex with even toothpaste involved. Well, I tried, but in my opinion there's a reason dental hygiene and the dirty don't mix. Also, author-character confidentiality requires that I keep silent on just exactly how Kakashi used the toothpaste. But between author and reviewer, your guess is as good as mine.
Warnings: Unmentionables, but nothing graphic. No Genmas were harmed in the making of this drabble, only afterwards.
If a former student gives his sex-crazed sensei a porn novella, chances are he's going to read it. After he reads it, the odds of him developing a fantasy involving toothpaste and floss are high, considering that his favorite chapter involved a dentist and his generously endowed assistant. The need to fulfill this fantasy will become all consuming at the most inopportune moment too, and Iruka is dead wrong in believing that his obvious lack of womanly bits are going to save him from Kakashi's rampaging libido.
"Stop staring at me like that," Iruka warns after he's stepped out of his shower and has nothing but the towel around his waist to protect him from a certain predatory gaze. "My classes start in less than an hour and I've already called in sick twice this month. Shiranui-san is going to get suspicious."
Kakashi believes that Genma already knows that they're involved. Rumors of them being intimate have been circulating the shinobi grape vine for months, most of it speculation from the biggest gossip of them all, Shiranui Genma himself. Three Thursdays ago only seemed to cement the assumption that they were going at it like rabbits, when Iruka suddenly came down with stomach flu and Kakashi was "indisposed" for the entire day. Said jounin weighs the consequences of revealing to Iruka that their two year liaison has finally been expose—by a raging pervert nonetheless!—and risk losing his precious bits, or not telling him and continuing with the Plan. Seeing as the former promises more pain than he can handle at six in the morning, Kakashi wisely says nothing and advances even though the chuunin is shooting proverbial shuriken with his eyes.
"I will not be late for school," the slightly shorter man hisses when he's backed up against the cool tile, though it is less menacing than he intended it, considering he can't think straight when Kakashi's touching him like that—which was part of the Plan, of course. "And if this involves Fantasy 11-C™ in any way shape or form—"
Kakashi shuts him up with a kiss that involves a lot of tongue and teeth. By the time they break for air, Iruka's eyes are a bit unfocused and Kakashi laughs into the warm skin of his neck. "More," the Academy teacher demands because they both know he doesn't really want to go teach a class of kunai-retarded hellions, and Kakashi eagerly complies, quickly snagging the toothpaste from the sink and leading Iruka into their bedroom. It isn't hard for Kakashi to convince Iruka to roll over and give up to the sensation, even if there is toothpaste involved. Any intelligent thought Iruka might have had in response dissolves until they are left with nothing but the taste of mint on their tongues and their heaving chests.
"I called the Academy for you last night," Kakashi tells him when he remembers how to speak, lifting his shaggy, silver head up to kiss Iruka on the cheek. The said man shoots him a nasty look, but there's no real anger behind it. "At least, I didn't kidnap you this time, ne?"
"There is that," Iruka smiles faintly, despite himself, and rolls over onto his side to face Kakashi. "You got Shiranui-san to substitute for me again, right?"
Kakashi raises an eyebrow. "Yeah," he replies absently, and begins to work a hand down his lover's chest; they'll be staying in bed if the Plan goes accordingly. "Why do you ask?"
"I must have imagined it," Iruka starts, "but I could have sworn that I saw him watching us through the window."
And when Kakashi excuses himself, Iruka can't help but feel a bit sorry for the poor, gossiping bastard—even if, he thinks with a smug grin, everything went according to his Plan—and hopes that one day, Genma can forgive him.
.end.