Intoxicated- Miku x Len

"When I first met him, he reminded me of that guy. The guy I once loved. The guy who is now dead. And now I'm afraid that I might lose this boy too. I'm suffering, I'm surviving. I am intoxicated."

After Miku Hatsune meets a mysterious boy named Len Kagamine, her whole life changes. The past that she never wanted to remember starts to connect with her. And everything about Len made her love him, which is bad. Very bad. Because he looks like him. Because he looks like Rinto Kanami, her deceased lover.

"You'll never leave me, right?"

He gave a painful laugh and put his hands up to cup my cheeks. With his thumbs he wiped away my tears. He wiped away my sorrow. He wiped away the anguish inside me... But it is impossible. How can he remove the one thing I never wanted to detach myself from? How could he remove the anguish if he's the one causing it?

"Yes. I will never." He breathed.

I held his hand in mine and intertwined our fingers. My fingers will never fit anyone's like his, i thought. His hand was meant to hold mine, mine was meant to hold his. There is no else but us.

He brought my other hand. "I. Will. Never." He said, kissing my palm after each word.

"Liar." Was all I could say.

He smiled and looked at me. Pleaded to me. Don't make me feel bad.

"I may be a liar, but not when it comes to you.

I will always be here, got that? Okay. I'll always be here..." He placed his hand on my chest, gesturing to my heart. "And here," He placed my hand on my head. "And always here."

He squeezed my hand and kissed me. It was painful. It was not enough. It was never enough.

When we pulled back I noticed tears flooding his eyes.

"Always here. Never going to leave you, got that?" He said as he wiped his tears. "God I'm bad at these kinds of things. I'm bad at making you feel better. I'm bad at saying good-"

"No!" I shouted, and placed my hear on his chest. "No. Just, no. Don't say goodbye. This isn't goodbye..."

He laughed. I felt his body shaking. "Y-you're right... This isn't goodbye."

We kept silent. Because we didn't know what to say anymore. Because we didn't want to talk about what happens next. Because we don't want to think.

We just want our freedom. A chance to love each other without all the anguish.

"I love you. So stop godamn crying and smile for a change, baby." He laughed.

He was smiling. He was crying. He's starting to lose control of his emotions, and I have lost mine ever since I met him.

My lips slowly turned up to a smile. The smile I always gave him. My true smile. The smile that is now intoxicating me.

Intoxicated. Yes, I am intoxicated.

"I love you too, Rinto."

He died the next day.

And he left a note-two notes-before he died. Before I last saw him breathing.

There will always be someone there to hold you. Someone to hug you, kiss you, tell you everything is alright. Someone to love you.

I was him. Was.

I'm not asking you to forget me, I'm asking you to move on and find that someone. And if possible, I'll do my best to make him get closer to you. I will tell him what you love and what you need. I'll tell him to never hurt you or else he'll be sent to hell.

So smile, my Miku. Smile and never stop smiling.

Never (well not never) look at the past, but look at the future. Make mistakes, be imperfect, be sinful as long as you are you. As long as you never stop being Miku.

My last words, as promised...

I love you.

Rinto Kanami

It was raining that day.

The thunder was as loud as my body falling to the ground

The rain as heavy and fast-falling as my tears.

And I knew that after the rain. After all the troubles and pain, there will always be happiness. There will always be the sun.

But Rinto, my love, when will the sun appear?

...

The second note; the second letter. I had to read it a few days after his funeral. I don't know why, but I decided it should be like that. That it is best to read it after... everything that happened. Rinto and I always had that special telekinetic feeling. That everytime we gave a note to each other, for special reasons, we knew when to open it or if we actually should.

I'm probably, I hate to say this, dead by the time you read this so I can't actually fathom my feelings and my emotions.

Remember when I told you I wasn't ready? To tell the truth that is.

Well I'll tell you now.

But since I'm too ashamed of myself to be writing every sin I committed, every mistake I made, I decided that we should play a game.

10 places with 10 items.

Find it before next year, before my first death anniversary...

And once you know everything, he'll tell you who I am.

Let's begin!

First clue: To actually get the gist (and I don't even know what that means) of the game, here's an easy one:

I was afraid to get it back, to risk hurting myself

It was raining already. It was already torn apart...

'To hell with it,' I said and you laughed. So I went all the way up to get it back.

Because it was our piece of memory, because it was the first thing we shared together.

The first day we met each other. The first place we met each other

... And his final words on this paper, his handwriting was already shaky. The words were blurred out, either it was tried to be erased or something wet washed the ink away. But I could still read it. I could always read it.

I love you,

Rinto

My last words, as promised,

I shall return!

I'll be restarting my fanfic life. So this'll be my first fanfic even if it's my tenth. So yeah