Blangst in Hues
AN: I plan on writing and adding a chapter every Tuesday at 8pm until then end of the hiatus. If, for some reason, I am unable to do so at that time I will post earlier in the day. Also, I know this is short. The others will be considerably longer.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. I also know nothing of psychology, have never been in the type of mind frame portrayed by the main character in this story, and have never encountered blatant homophobia. As a result everything you read here is the product of my imagination after watching way too much TV and reading way too much fanfiction- so take any realisticness with a grain of salt please.
Prologue
February 20, 2009
Today is a… navy day? God this seems soooo stupid- classifying my days by color. HAH. What quack book did Dr. Jonsten get this idea from. "I want you to pick a color and to classify your days using different shades of that color, and then explain how the day is that shade." Really, doc, really? "I think you will find this really helpful."
How is this supposed to help? It doesn't heal my broken arm. It doesn't get rid of the bullies, who will still be there when I get out of the hospital and go back to school. It doesn't get rid of the hate. It doesn't give me back my friends. It doesn't make my mom and dad comfortable with me again. It doesn't bring my brother, the only gay-friendly member of my family, back from college. It doesn't get rid of the scars. And in most certainly does not make me any less angry.
I guess I should explain how today is a "navy" day. I chose blue. Navy is dark blue for dark, depressing, sucky days. And today, like every day, sucks- because my life FUCKING SUCKS.
I'm 15 and gay in homophobic Ohio. My parents hate that I'm gay, my class mates hate that I'm gay, and 6 days ago I got the living crap beaten out of me (hence the hospital) by them (my classmates not my parents). Why? Because I went to a dance with another boy. Oh, and here's how my life sucks even more- said boy, who was my only friend after coming out? His family is moving to avoid situations like what happened so I'm not going to have any more friends in this stupid, backwards, mother fucking, cow-town in 5, no, 4 days. Fuck. My. Life.