This is just a one-shot that came to me when I was listening to Ugly by My Chemical Romance. It's almost canon-ish, if you squint. It takes place after the final battle, with a few minor details changed, which will be explained within the story. Hope you guys like it!
The war was over. He had left with his mother before the end had come, but he could tell. He hadn't wanted to leave, but he knew she needed him. He had taken her away, so that none of the others could find her, a place that he knew no Death Eater would think to look.
Traitors.
None of them had said it aloud, but he knew they were thinking it. He could see it in their faces as he led his mother out. They knew what Draco and his mother had done, and they would not be forgiving. The others knew they had helped Potter, and he knew he would be blamed for the final fall of the Dark Lord.
He didn't care. He had done what was right.
After his mother was hidden safely, he returned to Hogwarts. He knew many of the survivors would be there, mourning their dead, clearing the rubble, and celebrating the end of the war.
Would anyone here have mourned me?
It echoed through his mind as he entered through the oak front doors. He stopped short when he walked into the Great Hall. On every surface there were bodies, some injured, but most dead. The crying families surrounded them. He had had no idea this many lives had been lost.
These are the eyes and the lives of the taken
On a table in the far corner lay the bodies of the Death Eaters, with only a few Slytherin students standing around it. He approached the table slowly. He reached out to let his fingers graze his fathers cold, lifeless wrist.
These are their hearts but their hearts don't beat like ours
He hadn't wanted to do it, but his father left him no choice. He closed his eyes and thought back to it. There was a small group of Death Eaters torturing a girl in the corner, his father one of them. He would have walked past, but he heard her cry out in pain. Even when his aunt had tortured her in his home, and carved "mudblood" into her arm, Granger had never cried out.
Draco shuddered at the memory. He had asked his father to stop, but no one listened. He did the only thing he knew to. The only thing that would stop them.
There's an army of them, but you'll never fight alone
He hadn't meant to kill his own father, but now, looking down at the man, Draco felt relief. This man had beat Draco most of his life. He had treated his mother like an old hag. He felt no grief for the loss of his father.
He turned away from the table, and found her staring at him. He wasn't sure how she did it. There she was, after all the pain she had suffered today, looking as strong as ever. The castle around them was destroyed, lifeless bodies strewn everywhere, but it made no difference.
Cuz' I wanted you to know
That the world is ugly, but you're beautiful to me
Hermione watched as Draco entered the room. She watched as he stood above his father. There was no remorse on his elegant features. She could see it in his stance, he regretted nothing. She seen him shudder from across the Great Hall. What is he thinking, coming back here? He's a wanted fugitive.
Well are you thinking of me, now?
He turned, and she caught his eye. There in that moment, staring from across the room, she could remember every word he had ever said to her. She remembered the insults from their childhood, but more clearly she could hear him whispering for her to run. She seen him standing in front of her, shielding her from his own aunt. She seen a flash, and the battle with his aunt turned into the battle with his father, several other Death Eaters. In her mind, she watched them all fall to their knees in front of him.
These are the nights and the lights that we faded
She'd had no idea he was so powerful. Was she supposed to thank him? What was she supposed to say to that man? Not only the one that had treated her awful her entire life, but the one that had risked it all for her?
These are the words, but the words aren't coming up
They burn cuz' they are hard to say
Her eyes slid to the window behind him. The sun was coming up. Had it only been one night? It seemed more like a lifetime of battle. She broke her stare to search the crowd for the Weasleys.
For every failing sun, there's morning after
He watched as she walked away from him and turned to the empty shell's of his dead family members. That's how he felt, he realized. Empty.
He had no one now, other than his mother. Most of his family was lying on the table in front of him, and those who had gotten away would likely be sentenced to Azkaban. He grimaced, I'll be lucky to avoid prison myself.
Though I'm empty when you go
Looking at his father, he could see an almost exact reflection of his own features. Even in death, Lucius appeared haughty. His eyes were narrowed, and his lips drawn up in a sneer. Draco had seen that face so many times over the years, it was a face he had begun to associate with pain.
I just wanted you to know
Hermione caught sight of Draco again as she stood next to Harry. It wasn't her place to openly mourn Fred, they had never been close, but she knew she needed to be with them right now. She could see the pain on his beautiful face as he stood over the body of his father, shoulders stiff, fists clenched at his side. She couldn't tear her eyes away from him.
That the world is ugly
But you're beautiful to me
Again, she couldn't help but wonder what he was thinking. She knew he hadn't come back just to grieve Lucius. Draco had mentioned once, after he had saved her from Bellatrix, that his father had abused him, both mentally and physically. Hermione knew there was no love lost between the two. Did he come back for me?
Are you thinking of me
Like I'm thinking of you
Looking down at his father, he knew he should feel something for the man. The only thing he regretted was that he felt no sorrow. He had seen Lucius kill hundreds of undeserving wizards, and never feel remorse, or guilt. Draco had never wanted to be able to kill like that. But today, he had.
I would say I'm sorry, though
He sighed. He hadn't told his mother yet. Would she be angry with him, or would she be relieved? He wasn't sure. He needed to get back to her, though.
Draco turned away from his father for the last time. He would not waste anymore of his life for that man.
Though I really need to go
He walked towards Hermione, but stopped when he seen Weasley slumped over her, sobbing.
I just wanted you to know
He wanted to talk to her. No, he needed to talk to her. Needed to let her know...
I wanted you to know
From the corner of her eye she watched Draco stop in the middle of the room. She tried get Ron to move on to Harry, but she wasn't quick enough. She scanned to room only to see him walking out the door. She had to get to him, to tell him the truth...
I wanted you to know
She ran down the corridor. She knew if he left now, the chances of ever seeing him again were practically none. He would be going into hiding.
"Draco!" He stopped in his tracks, and she ran even harder to catch up with him. She slowed to a stop in front of him, and attempted to catch her breath. He stared at her in disbelief. The words he so desperately wanted to say were stuck in his throat.
I'm thinking of you every night, every day
As her breathing evened out, Draco looked away from her. Even out here, away from the main battlegrounds, there were dead bodies strewn about, but none either of them recognized. Many of the buildings had caught fire, and the grass had scorch marks from dodged curses. It was a painful reminder of what the night had held.
These are the eyes and the lives of the taken
These are the hearts but their hearts don't beat like ours
She stood in front of him now, too nervous to actually speak.
"You called me Draco.."
She tilted her head up to look into his eyes. "Well, it is your name, isn't it?" She hoped he didn't hear the way her voice shook. There was so much she wanted to say to him.
He smirked down at her then. "It is, you've just always call-"
"I love you," She blurted. "I'm in love with you, and it scares me, and- Oh, Merlin, I shouldn't have said that." Her eyes were wide with fear as he stared down into them.
When mine beats twice as hard
The longer Draco remained quiet, the more Hermione regretted her words. She had been so sure he had felt the same way, she hadn't consider what to do if he didn't. She broke eye contact when tears began to form. She wouldn't let him see her cry, not after she had already made a fool of herself.
Cause the world is ugly
Draco cupped her cheeks in his hands and tilted her face towards his.
"Oh Salazar," He murmered under his breath. He cleared his throat, "Even when you're crying you're bloody beautiful."
But you're beautiful to me
They stared into each others eyes for what seemed like an eternity before their lips met.
Are you thinking of me
Like I'm thinking of you
Draco pulled away first, and leaned his head against hers. "I'm so sorry Hermione, for everything I've ever done. You never deserved any of it, but I was scared too. Scared of what Father would do if he found out." His voice cracked. "He would have killed you, just to teach me a lesson." He whispered.
I would say I'm sorry, though
Hermione pulled him closer to her, "None of that matters now," she could feel his heart beating under her hand, "It's in the past."
"Doesn't it though? Because of my past actions I'm going to be sent to Azkaban," He tried to hide the fear in his voice, but it didn't work. "Even if I don't, I'll be killed as a traitor.." He was backing away from her now, shaking his head. "I have to go somewhere no one will ever look for me."
Though I really need to go
"I'm glad we got to talk though," he whispered. "I don't think I could have lived with myself, knowing I had never told you that I love you." He stopped a few feet away from Hermione. "You know that don't you? That I love you so damn much."
I just wanted you to know
That the world is ugly
(I just wanted you to know)
But you're beautiful to me
(I just wanted you to know)
Are you thinking of me
She wrapped her arms around herself, trying to contain her sobs. "Please, Draco, don't go."
Stop your crying, helpless feelings
"Hermione, you know I have to." He whispered. He had never wanted to hurt her again. It was tearing him apart to see her this way. "Maybe someday, It will be safe for us to be together."
Dry your eyes and start believing
"I will never stop loving you," She whimpered, but he continued. "Just remember that okay? Everyday of my life, I will spend missing you. Missing what could have been."
There's one thing they'll never take from you
"You're going to be okay, you're going to keep living your life. You'll go on to become something great, because you are bloody brilliant, and this moment, here, with me? It's going to feel like an awful dream. I'll just be a ghost of your past." Hermione closed her eyes to let his voice wash over her.
And we'll never be the same
Like ghosts in the snow
Like ghosts in the sun
When she opened them, Draco was gone. She stared at the place he had been standing moments before. He was right, of course he was. But why did it have to hurt so bad?
Hermione dried her eyes and returned to the castle. She decided then, that she would never tell anyone about Draco. She would do just what he wanted, and fight everyday to make it safe for him to come home to her.