Jane's hand shook, grasping the gun. Dirty tank top and sweats covered a pathetic excuse for a body. She has lost so much weight, too much. Her hair was oily and a mess, split ends breaking making it different lengths, and falling out in places all together. She closed her eyes, the smell of Maura drifted to her nose, the feel of arms wrapping around her shoulders, the feel of lips on her neck all too real. She shot up to her feet, trying to escape the fake reality of her mind. She covered her ears as the clicks of Maura's heels walked around in the kitchen; she knew if she turned around, Maura wouldn't be there.
She would never be there.
Jane keeled over grasping her stomach as guilt, anger, and sadness twisted at it. Her ear's registered something far off in the distance; a thudding, someone was banging on something. A voice yelling her name pushed through her thoughts, someone begging her to stop took shape in her brain. She looked back down at the black thing in her hand, offering her escape,
Offering her acceptance.
She took deep breaths, trying to calm her shaking, her mind was numb, telling her that this was OK, that it was the only way. Closing her eyes she raised it to her temple, one tear slipping out.
"I love you Maura. I'm so sorry," she whispered. The door to her apartment smashed open; bits of wood flew at her. She watched in slow motion as Frankie and Frost ran in, taking in the scene in front of them. She smiled, pulling the trigger.
It didn't hurt, she felt nothing; she didn't feel the pain from the wound that had granted her peace. Lights flashed behind her closed eyelids. She felt peaceful. Someone grab her shoulders and shook her a little.
"Maura…," Jane trailed off when she opened her eyes. The blonde was standing in front of her, simply smiling.
God how she missed that smile.
Maura grabbed her hand and pulled on it, pulling Jane towards something. She looked down at their outstretched hands in between them.
Tan holding onto porcelain.
Strong holding onto steady.
Green eyes looked at her. Maura motioned at something behind her with her head. A golden white light was getting brighter far off in the distance. She wanted Jane to fallow her.
"Maura… one for the road?" The smaller woman let out a chuckle but stepped over to Jane, throwing her arms around her shoulders. Jane grasped onto Maura, going to long without holding her, to long without feeling her. When Maura pulled away Jane glanced around them getting a better look.
They were slowly spinning, white clouds swirled around their legs, but Jane couldn't feel anything underneath her feet. The whiteness stretched out as far as she could see, but it wasn't blinding. The golden light was getting stronger. Brown eyes met hazel.
"Maur, I'm scared…" The blonde grabbed Jane's hand again.
"Jane, I'll see you on the other side." Maura said. The light pulled at something in Jane's chest, her heart. It was pulling her closer to her afterlife.
"Maura, you lead… I'll follow." Maura let out a high laugh filled with so much promise. The doctor pulled on Jane's hand, pulling her towards eternal happiness.
Tugging her towards a never ending life with Maura.