Author's Note: I do not own Final Fantasy 7 or the song 'Barbie Girl'.
Yuffie Girl
(Parody of 'Barbie Girl' by Aqua)
"Come on Vinnie" Said Yuffie as she dragged Vincent Valentine out of his mansion. "You promised that you'd come to my party!" Vincent tried to take back what he said a week ago. He really couldn't care less about Yuffie's eighteenth anniversary. But turning around now wasn't to help him in this situation. Hence he regretfully did as the materia thief asked him to do.
"Yuffie. Where are you taking me?" Vincent said calmly. The ninja girl led him out of the gates and there in front stood a silver Ferrari convertible car. Vincent was quite amazed by the vehicle shining before him.
"Do you like it?" Said Yuffie. "Cloud gave it to me this morning as my present! I thought I might try it out." Vincent shrugged and got in the front seat of the car. "Let's go!" Yuffie jumped into the Ferrari and immediately floored it, before Vincent could even put on his seat belts. Yuffie didn't notice Vincent flying backwards on his chair as she drove at 155 miles per hour out of Nibelheim.
I'm a Yuffie girl.
In a Yuffie world.
I'm still a brat.
What's wrong with that?
Materia's my life.
I'll soon become a wife.
It's kind of funny,
When Vinnie's here I'm happy!
Vincent covered his mouth as he began to feel car sick. It must have been Yuffie's bumpy driving.
Come on, Yuffie.
Slow down, Yuffie.
Yuffie raised the speed of the car. At the same time four figures bobbed out from the back of the car. There stood Galian Beast, Death Gigas, Hellmasker (who seemed to be playing a guitar rather than holding his usual chainsaw) and Chaos, dancing away with the music filling everyone's ears.
I'm a Yuffie girl.
In a Yuffie world.
I'm still a brat.
What's wrong with that?
Materia's my life.
I'll soon become a wife.
It's kind of funny,
When Vinnie's here I'm happy!
Yuffie thought back to the time she asked Vincent to come when she was in her bubble bath tub………..
I'm a young ninja girl.
In a Wutainese world.
Wash me up.
Massage my head
And body.
Vincent knelt down by the side of the tub and gently gripped Yuffie's shoulders, trying to ignore the bubbles flying round the room.
You can shout, you can cry.
I'm just here sitting by.
What a pain, what a bore,
Miss Kisaragi.
I can run.
I can steal.
But someday, I might be yours.
OO WHOA!
I'm a Yuffie girl.
In a Yuffie world.
I'm still a brat.
What's wrong with that?
Materia's my life.
I'll soon become a wife.
It's kind of funny,
When Vinnie's here I'm happy!
Vincent was getting tired of Yuffie's singing.
Come on, Yuffie.
Cease this, Yuffie.
NO! NO! NO! NOOO!
Come on, Yuffie.
Stop it, Yuffie.
NO NOOO! NO NOOO!
Come on, Yuffie.
Shut up, Yuffie.
NO! NO! NO! NOOO!
Look out, Yuffie!
Heads up, Yuffie!
Vincent saw that Yuffie was about to drive into a herd of yellow chocobos in the field.
'OO WHAAA! OO WHAAA!'
After having gotten out of that danger, Yuffie recalled another occasion when Vincent was around Wutai. She remembered when she went into the Wutainese lake for a swim under the hot sun…….
Make me smile, for a while.
Vinnie come for a swim.
I don't threat, I don't bite.
You're so sexy and slim!
You've gone mad. You're absurd.
From the words I've just heard,
You love me. I agree.
You're so dim!
Then there was other day when Yuffie persuaded Vincent to come skate with him round Wutai. Too bad for the gunslinger though, for he never took skating lessons. Yuffie pushed Vincent all around her town.
I can run.
I can steal.
But someday, I might be yours.
I can run.
I can steal.
But someday, I might be yours.
Vincent swerved and swayed everywhere until he ended up tumbling into the Wutainese lake. Yuffie giggled and watched Vincent get out from his watery grave. He was covered in weeds and his clothes were soaking wet.
Come on, Yuffie.
Leave me, Yuffie.
NO! NO! NO! NOOO!
Come on, Yuffie.
Go home, Yuffie.
NO NOOO! NO NOOO!
Yuffie gave Vincent a hand as he stepped out of the lake. Vincent shoved her hands away from his arms. He didn't seem to be in a very happy mood now.
Come on, Yuffie.
Hands off, Yuffie!
NO! NO! NO! NOOO!
Come on, Yuffie.
Get lost, Yuffie!
NO NOOO! NO NOOO!
Yuffie continued to steer her filthy car dangerously along the open grassland. Vincent's friends were still grooving about at the back. It seemed like insanity was crawling up the gunslinger's back. Everyone was driving him crazy.
I'm a Yuffie girl.
In a Yuffie world.
I'm still a brat.
What's wrong with that?
Materia's my life.
I'll soon become a wife.
It's kind of funny,
When Vinnie's here I'm happy!
I'm a Yuffie girl.
In a Yuffie world.
I'm still a brat.
What's wrong with that?
Materia's my life.
I'll soon become a wife.
It's kind of funny,
When Vinnie's here I'm happy!
The couple finally arrived at Wutai. Everyone from AVALANCHE was there to greet the grown up girl. It was a splendid time at the town. Balloons were prepared, firecrackers went off and things were going perfectly for Yuffie. Everybody was having a great time. But there was one thing Vincent feared doing………
Come on, Yuffie.
Let's not party.
NO! NO! NO! NOOO!
Yuffie was trying to pull Vincent out of the small hut. Vincent just couldn't bear the humiliation if everyone saw him dressed up like this. But he had to do it. Yuffie's cake had arrived and she was going to blow the candles.
Come on, Yuffie.
Let go, Yuffie.
NO NOOO! NO NOOO!
Come on, Yuffie.
That's enough, Yuffie.
NO! NO! NO! NOOO!
Vincent gave a sigh.
Okay, Yuffie.
Wait here, Yuffie.
OKAAAY! OKAAAY!
"Here comes the birthday girl!" Said Tifa. Yuffie came out from the hut, taking Vincent outside with her. All eyes set on the ex-Turk as they saw him…….not in his usual state. Apparently he was dressed in a chocobo costume. Everyone's tried not to laugh as Vincent waved his feathery wings around.
"Gwark. Gwark." Said Vincent. This is so pathetic. He thought to himself. "Gwark. Gwark."
"Oh, Vinnie! You look so cute!" Yuffie smiled. Vincent said nothing and just resumed his gwarking. Yuffie approached her birthday cake with Vincent accompanying her beside. Tifa got out her camera.
"Make your wish!" Said Cloud. Yuffie blew out the candles and Tifa took a picture. Everyone applauded but then soon stopped when they saw Yuffie hugging Vincent and kissing him on the cheek. Tifa smiled and prepared her camera for a second shot. Vincent rolled his eyes away and blushed silently.
It looked like Yuffie got her wish.
The End
Author's Note: You like? Apologies for any spelling or grammar errors.