Broken Wings

By Trish.

Disclaimer: I don't own Pokémon, or the title of the story or the chapter titles. They come from a song from the 1980's Broken Wings by Mister Mister.

A/N: This story is set when Ash and Co are in their late 30s. Ash - 38. This story deals with a very serious issue - Motor Neurone Disease or MND. If you cannot deal with stories dealing with deep emotions or issues then I suggest you skip this.

Rated PG-13 for serious issues.

_______

Chapter One: Take these Broken Wings...

The afternoon sun cast long shadows on the walls, as Ash Ketchum rubbed his eyes and placed down the thick management report he had been reading on his desk. The thirty-eight year old Pokémon Grand Master was currently going through the management reports for all the leagues and signing off on approval for their financial allocations for the coming year.

It was a slow and tedious process, each report from each league requiring him to read through and check everything in minutiae.

"Paper work really sucks doesn't it," observed the man sitting across the desk from him, Deputy and fellow Pokémon Master, Gary Oak.

"You're not wrong there," Ash sighed as he leaned back in his comfy leather executive chair.

"You look absolutely wasted," his best friend (and former rival) stated.

"I am a bit tired," Ash admitted. For the past two months he had been putting in constant late hours at work and feeling rather run down. Which made things difficult for his wife Misty and their two children, five year old Matthew and two year old Ciara.

Gary had been insisting that Ash needed to take a well-earned holiday, but every time Ash tried, something always cropped up so that he couldn't.

"How about we take a break from this and get some coffee," the Viridian City Gym Leader suggested and without further ado, pulled Ash up from out of his chair.

The two friends walked down the corridors of the League headquarters at Indigo Plateau in silence, when Ash suddenly stumbled and had to lean against the wall to stop himself from falling.

"Are you okay?" Gary looked concerned.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Ash waved it off.

"Did you trip over something?" But there was nothing to trip over.

"No...I think it's just exhaustion catching up to me," Ash decided. "Nothing that a good long rest won't cure..."

_______

Ash took the next two weeks off, but when he returned to work, found that it had not alleviated the weariness one little bit. He had also found his equilibrium was not as good as it should be, often stumbling on level surfaces. He had decided that this was either due to his natural clumsiness or else he had a middle ear infection. He yawned and observed that Gary was still engrossed in one of the reports. "I need some coffee," he spoke up and indicated he was going to the small kitchenette that was off to one side of his office.

Gary nodded and continued reading, when a few minutes later there was the sound of a horrified gasp and the crash of splintering china. The chestnut-haired trainer dropped the report and raced into the kitchenette. His friend was standing there, pale and shaking, staring with wide eyes at the smashed cup of coffee on the floor.

"What happened?" Gary asked.

"Gary...I want you to call Misty," Ash said in a low voice. "And call the League doctor as well..."

"But...why?"

The Grand Master turned haunted eyes upon his friend. "I couldn't even hold the cup...I just couldn't..."

_______

"Hmm..."

The grey-haired doctor sat back in his chair after examining Ash. "Have you had any other problems with your hands, arms or even legs recently?"

"Well I have stumbled a few times recently," Ash answered. "But I thought it might be due to a middle ear infection which can affect one's balance."

Dr. Tom Holbrook shook his head. "There's no sign of any infection in either ear.."

"So what do you think is the cause, Doctor?" This came from Misty who was sitting next to her husband, holding his hand tightly in hers. Gary, who was also there, at Ash's insistence, leaned forward eagerly.

The doctor did not answer straightaway, instead reaching for his card index and flipping through until he found one. He wrote something down on a piece of paper, then looked at them. "It may have something to do with the brain, Misty."

At the look of alarm on their faces, he hastened to add. "It may very well be nothing to worry about, but I would prefer to have one of my specialist colleagues to have a look at you. Just in case..."

Ash hesitated for a moment then nodded. "Whatever you think is best, Doc."

"I'm going to refer you to Dr. Joe Ridgeway, one of the top neurologists in the world and a very good friend of mine from medical school. He's based at Viridian Memorial Hospital." The doctor started to punch in the numbers on the phone, then paused. "Any particular date or time?"

"As soon as possible."

"Anything else?"

"Yeah," Gary spoke up. "Can this be kept top secret? We don't want the press finding out about this if possible..."

"No problem there."

_________

Ash drew his robe around him as he sat on the back verandah. It was past midnight and stars in the heavens twinkled brightly around him, the still of the night broken by the occasional chirp of a cricket.

He had been unable to sleep and so had crept out of bed, making sure not to wake Misty or the kids as he walked past their rooms. To sit in the backyard of the house and be alone with his thoughts.

The appointment with the neurologist was scheduled for Monday morning next week.

It couldn't be that serious could it?

But...the recent incident with the coffee cup had shaken him more than he cared to admit.

It was as if he had no control over his own muscles. He could think that he wanted to pick up and hold the coffee cup, but his muscles wouldn't respond. It was as if they didn't know how..

And that really scared him, that he, a grown man was unable to do something so simple as holding a cup. A task that could be done by a six month old baby...

"Pikapi?"

A cold wet nose nudged his arm and he looked down to see his favourite Pokémon Pikachu looking up at him with concern in her dark brown eyes.

"Oh Pikachu," Ash sighed and gathered the tiny mouse into his arms and cuddled her closely, burying his face into her warm fur. "I'm just so scared....," he whispered.

He was clutching her like a child to his teddy bear, and yet she did not protest, instead snuggled into him even more.

He didn't know what was going on with his body.

He wasn't even sure that he wanted to.

What is happening to me?

________

Monday morning..

Ash fidgeted nervously as he waited in Dr. Ridgeway's office. Only Pikachu was with him and she was sniffing inquisitively around the room. Misty had stayed home with the kids, so they would not be asking why Daddy was going to a hospital in another city.

Man, he disliked hospitals. Then again who did? Though the past two visits he had made to a hospital were happy occasions, the births of his son and daughter.

The door opened to admit a tall, middle-aged (Ash judged him to be in his early fifties) man with short brown hair and twinkling brown eyes, and a cheerful smile. "Mr Ketchum? Hi, I'm Dr. Joe Ridgeway."

Ash shook the proffered hand and knew instinctively that he could trust him. He had heard that Dr Ridgeway had an undeniable knack for getting along with his patients. He had an ability to put even the most jittery of patients at ease within a few minutes.

"Just call me Ash," he replied with a smile.

"Well then, you can call me Dr. Joe," the doctor boomed cheerily. "It's a pleasure to meet the Grand Master of the Pokémon League. My grandkids all regard you as their role model."

"Thank you."

"And just between you and me, let me just say that we both know that we'd both rather have met anywhere else but here!"

Despite his nerves, Ash found himself smiling. This doctor had a great sense of humour and came across as a nice uncle type of person, rather than a doctor. "You're not wrong there.."

Pikachu chirped and hopped up onto the desk. Dr. Ridgeway grinned and scratched the Pokémon behind her ears making her purr contentedly. "And this is the famous Pikachu! You're a spunky little mouse, aren't you girl? Mighty Mouse has nothing on you!"

Ash smirked as Pikachu's chest puffed up with pride. Flattery, he thought, will get you everywhere, even with Pokémon.

"Now Tom's given me a briefing on your situation. You found yourself unable to pick up a cup?"

"That's right, " the dark-haired Master nodded. "It was if my hands forgot how to, even though I was willing them on.."

"Well, today I'd like to run a series of tests on you. An MRI scan and an EMG test. MRI stands for Magnetic Resonance Imaging where we will run a thorough scan of your body."

"What's an EMG?"

"Stands for Electromyograph. Needles are inserted into various muscles to measure their electrical activity."

Ash winced. Needles...ugh.

"Shall we get started?"

_______

The phone call advising that the test results were in, came late that afternoon. Mrs Ketchum had offered to mind the kids so Misty flew up to Viridian via Pidgeot.

The couple walked into the office and Dr Ridgeway bade them to sit down.

"Ash, the test results have come back and..," he paused, "I don't know quite how to say this...but the results are conclusive that you suffer from Motor Neurone Disease or MND."

Ash felt his chest tighten slightly. "MND?" he echoed.

"MND is a degenerative and progressive disease which affects the motor neurones in the brain. The neurones are needed to control the muscles in our body to enable us to do things like walking. MND attacks these neurones, and disables them. Without the nerves to help activate them, the muscles deteriorate and waste away."

"So that means one day I'll be unable to walk .."

"Or talk, swallow or one day even to breathe," the doctor added softly.

Ash swallowed hard and he felt Misty's hand tighten its grip around his. "Is..is there a cure?"

Dr. Ridgeway shook his head. "There is no cure."

Silence descended over the office as the news was slowly digested.

"I'm so sorry, Ash."

"Oh, no need to apologise, Dr. Joe," Ash managed to reply. "It's not your fault...just...what is the average life expectancy for sufferers of MND?"

"Anywhere between sixteen months and five years."

The dark-haired Master exhaled. "Thank you, Dr Joe. Thank you for being straightforward with me on this."

"I'd like to get this diagnosis confirmed by another neurologist if you don't mind."

"It's fine with me."

________

Misty woke up later that night to hear Ash crying quietly into his pillow. She rolled over and placed her arms around him to hug him tightly. It seemed that the shock of the diagnosis had finally hit him.

"It's going to be all right," she soothed.

"How can it?" Ash hiccupped finally.

"The second opinion tomorrow might prove the diagnosis wrong," Misty offered hopefully.

"Maybe.."

"Oh, honey, you must fight this," she hugged him close to her. "You've overcome so many obstacles in your lifetime. All because you refuse to give up hope. You can fight this too."
Ash returned her embrace, but did not voice what he knew deep down inside. That this was one battle that he would not win.

________

He was back at the hospital again two days later, with only Pikachu for company. The second diagnosis had only confirmed the first one, Ash had Motor Neurone Disease, in the form of Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis or ASL.

Dr. Ridgeway was to be the specialist looking after his case, with Dr. Holbrook assisting. The Grand Master had been prescribed some medication which should hopefully slow down the progression of the disease, as well as some books and reading material on the subject.

At the end of the consultation, Ash had one request. "Dr. Joe, is it possible for me to visit some patients with MND?"

Dr Ridgeway looked rather surprised. "Certainly. But are you sure that you want to do this so soon?"

The dark-haired man nodded. "I'm positive. I want to see what I could look like in a few months or years time."

_______

The two men walked over to the palliative care section of the hospital, and Ash followed the doctor into one particular ward.

He was confronted with the spectacle of people, mostly men, in wheelchairs or beds. "This ward is mostly full of people in the latter or final stages of MND," Dr Ridgeway said softly.

Ash walked towards one man confined to a bed, who had at present two visitors, a woman and a young man around his twenties.

"Hi there," he introduced himself.

The patient's eyes lit up in recognition, even more so when Pikachu chirped and leapt off Ash's shoulder and onto the bed. Ash could see that the man knew who he was.

"His name is Sam Johnson," the woman said with a proud smile. "I'm his wife, Betty and this is our son Daniel."

"Pleased to meet you," Ash shook hands with a warm smile. He then leaned towards Sam and picked up the limp hand. "Pleased to meet you especially, Sam."

Sam's eyes crinkled at bit, and Ash guessed that he was trying to smile in perhaps the only way he could. Pikachu chirped and nuzzled his other hand and the patient gazed at her fondly.

"He knows who you are," Betty said proudly.

Ash drew a seat and sat down on the other side of the bed. "Do you mind me asking how long Sam has had MND?"

"Two years. He can't walk, he can't move any part of his body, he can't speak and he can't feed himself," the woman answered and Ash could hear the pain in her voice. "But inside, we know it's still Sam in there. He can still think, he can still remember things. He's still a human being..."

"So he knows what's happening to him?"

"Oh yes. He's perfectly aware. He told me that not long before he lost the ability to speak. It's not like dementia, or Alzheimer's where the patients are robbed of their memory or intellect."

Ash nodded and looked at Sam. To all intents and purposes, he looked like a helpless human being, a pathetic shell of a man. But in those eyes, Ash could see the fire of life and knowledge still burning brightly. A prisoner inside his own body.

This is what I'm going to look like in a few years, he thought with a sinking heart.

He shook himself out of that unpleasant thought in time to hear Betty ask him a question. "So what brings you to visit this ward?"

"Oh, I'm just interested in finding out more about this disease. Not many people know about it."

_________

Misty came downstairs from tucking the kids into bed, and found her husband sitting morosely in the living room.

"How are you?" she said softly.

He didn't answer at first, but then, "I was wondering whether you wanted a divorce."

"WHAT?" Misty was shocked. "What on earth for?"

Ash just looked at her. "Do you really want to be saddled with a husband who's going to be a vegetable in a few months or years?"

"How can you even say that?"

"Well...have you thought about it?"

"Well..I," Misty struggled for words. "I must admit I haven't really thought about it," she finally conceded.

"I'm giving you the option of getting out of the marriage if you want. Because it's not fair on you or the kids."

Misty threw her arms around him and kissed him firmly. "Ash Ketchum, don't you ever think about divorce again. I'm not going to abandon you. I've stuck by you all these years, don't think that I'm going to leave you now when you need me the most."

Ash hugged her tightly. "Thanks."

"We'll get through this," she whispered "Together."

________

Gary Oak whistled cheerily as he walked into Ash's office. "Hey Ash," he greeted his friend who was busily writing at his desk.

"Hey Gary," the dark-haired man looked up briefly then resumed writing. A slight breeze from the open window stirred the pile of papers he had beside him and two sheets fluttered to the floor.

Gary bent to pick them up and his eye caught three words written at the top. 'Letter of Resignation'

"Ash!"

"What?"

"What the hell are you doing writing a letter of resignation for?" Gary was aghast. Ash couldn't resign...the two had made a pact that they would stay in their positions for as long as they were undefeated so they could achieve their long cherished dreams for the Pokémon League.

Ash put his pen down with a sigh and leaned back in his chair. He gazed out the window for a moment before replying. "The doctors have diagnosed me with Motor Neurone Disease or MND."

"What's that?" Gary had never heard of it.

"It affects the motor neurones which control the muscles in the body. As it progresses, sufferers are no longer able to walk, to feed themselves, or even to talk..."

"But they can do something to cure it can't they?" Gary interrupted.

Ash bit his lip. "There is no cure, Gary," he said quietly. "I could be dead within two years, five at the most."

Gary Oak was not one to be shocked easily, but he was utterly dumbstruck by his best friend's revelation. It seemed completely inconceivable that Ash Ketchum, who, ever since he was a child had been so full of life and energy, would one day be unable to walk or talk.

And yet here was Ash saying that not only would he be unable to do all those things, but that he would be dead within a few years.

The Viridian City Gym Leader could not think of what his life would be like without Ash around. They had grown up together since they were babies, and despite the few years of intense rivalry, had still been involved in each other's lives in some way. They sparked off each other in training, each inspiring the other to reach greater heights.

While he knew that the day would come where Ash would no longer be around in his life, he never expected it to come so soon in the future.

"So you see why I'm resigning?" Ash spoke up again.

"But you don't have to!" Gary blurted out. While he wasn't sure what to make of the situation at the moment, he at least knew that much.

"What?"

"Well, you're not dead yet, are you?"

"No..but.."

"And you're not sure exactly how long it's going to be until you can no longer walk, right?"

"Right.."

"There's nothing in the League rules to say that a person has to be able-bodied to be a Pokémon Master or even a trainer," Gary leaned forward eagerly. He just couldn't let his friend give it all up. "You can still direct and give orders to a Pokémon in battle."

"True..but.."

"No buts," Gary jumped up and grabbed the rest of the draft letter off Ash and before his friend could say a word, had fed it into the shredder.

"Hey!" Ash protested.

"I'm not going to let you give up your dreams and that's that," the chestnut haired trainer stuck his tongue out at him. "There's still so much left for you to achieve."

_________

The Pokémon Grand Master glanced at his watch somewhat nervously. In five minutes he was due to step out in front of a bank of microphones and announce to the waiting media and the world the medical condition that now afflicted him.

But he wouldn't be alone. For with him would be the President of the Pokémon League, the Council, the Elite Four, his parents, Misty and Gary.

After Gary had shredded his resignation he had dragged him to a meeting with the President, Council and the Elite Four. And to his pleasant surprise all were most adamant that he stay on as Grand Master. They had affirmed what Gary had thought, there was nothing in the rules to say that a disabled person could not be a Pokémon trainer or Master.

It had been two weeks since the original diagnosis, and he had only recently summoned up the courage to call the press conference. Gary and the Elite Four had advised against him rushing to tell the news. It was more important that Ash felt himself to be somewhat at peace with his change in fortune.

Two weeks of taking long rambling walks with close family and friends, had given Ash the strength and stamina he needed to face up to the disease, and to facing the public with it.

For certainly this would be the hardest press conference he would ever have to give.

It was time. Ash took a deep breath and walked out to the podium. The buzz in the room died down at his entrance and the journalists and reporters waited expectantly.

"Ladies and Gentlemen," he began and gripped the sides of the podium firmly. "Two weeks ago, I was diagnosed as having Motor Neurone Disease or MND. As a result, in a years time I may be unable to walk, then unable to talk. As there is no cure for the disease at present, I may not live past my forty-third or even fortieth birthday."

To be continued...

________

Author's Note: I apologise for the long delay between postings, but I work full-time and have been sorting out a few issues. But I'm hoping this marks the start of a comeback for me. This probably sucks majorly as I have most likely lost my 'touch'.

Motor Neurone Disease or MND is a very real disease that not many people know about. It is worse than Alzheimer's or dementia in that the intellect and memory are unaffected. Therefore they are only too aware of their body slowly degenerating. Which to my mind makes it even more horrible.

It affects mostly males and the average life expectancy is 2 to 5 years. There is no cure at present.

I became more aware of this disease after my former neighbour was diagnosed with it. They soon moved out to a single level home that was more easily adaptable for a wheelchair. That was over 2 years ago, I'm not sure if he is still alive now.

I wrote this story in order to raise awareness of this disease and to remind people that despite their outward appearance, they are still people inside - they think, they remember, they know, they feel emotions. They are still human beings and should be treated as such. They are not to be shunned and left inside nursing homes to be forgotten.