Disclaimer: This is not my story; it's my brother's. But he doesn't own HP, either! If he did, I'd make him give me 20 of all his profits. I'd be rich!
Prologue
Have you ever known someone for a while, for long enough that you know that person like the back of your hand, and then you find out that you are completely wrong? That is what my life as Argus Filch is like, although no one has ever found out my secrets.
I became entangled in the wizarding world at a young age. How this happened I will not tell you now because it would be a great waste of my time and yours. It is a long story to say the least.
In reality, I'm not really a squib. I am a muggle and I am an agent with the CIA. I have learned bits and pieces of magic but I am not very skilled in that yet, except for oclumency, which I have been getting steadily better at. It helps calm me down.
No one, except for a select few whose real names I do not know, knows who I actually am. It is also strictly against CIA policy for me to tell you my name.
What you are about to see and read are my accounts of recent missions I have done in the wizarding world.