A/N- Okay, I understand what you guys said from before - yes, this chapter is chapters one and two combined and written over, because stupid me had a fusion malfunction with the story and two chapters were deleted, so I had to take a few days to rewrite them. That's why this is a little different, so sorry about that. But I had to write this all over again...so expect a few changes, okay? Chapters are also going to be longer, ranging from 6,000 to 7,000 words.
Playlist [Music I listened to while in the writing process]
The Way I Are - Timberland ft. Keri Hilson, John D.O.E. and Francisco
Love Me or Hate Me - Lady Sovereign
::.. deux ex machina ..::
.c h a p t e r one.
"...she burns to ashes..."
"...and we all fall down..."
"Edward is a boy! Edward is a boy!"
The ring of linked hands spun around a small little girl, with a heart-shaped face and in a bright red shirt, coveralls and bare feet. The little girl had long blonde hair, loose and tangles around her shoulders. But there was dirt on her cheek, twigs in her hair and a steady stream of tears down her face. Golden eyes blinked as she stumbled, looking around from the inside of the ring; but there was no escape.
"Edward is a boy! Edward is a boy!"
"I'm not! I'm a girl!" she screamed, tiny fists clenching and looking around desperately. "I'm a girl!"
She felt a pair of hands behind her back and the wind quickly rushed out of her lungs as she fell on the dirty ground, and Edward found her eyes fill with tears again. Using her lithe arms to push herself up, she rubbed the dirt out of her eyes in vain, mixing the salty water with filth. "I'm a girl!"
"Oh yeah? Then why do you have a boy's name?" Edward sniffled and glared at the person who was talking to her in a snide voice; the mocking brown eyes of one girl looked at her and she had a victorious smile on her face. "You can't be a girl."
"I am! I am!"
"Edward is a boy! Edward is a boy!"
"No, I'm not!" she cried desperately, wishing for the taunting to stop. Another voice, a boy this time, snorted. "So what? Your not a boy or a girl? What are you?"
Edward clapped her hands over her ears. "No! You got it wrong - "
"Edward is a freak! Edward is a freak!" Edward shook her head and shut her eyes closed, blocking out the voices. They kept spinning in a circle, laughing at her and mocking her unusual name. She tried to force it out of her subconscious.
It was no use - she could still hear them in her mind.
.
.
The cool hand of her mother's smoothed over her hair and she sniffled. When the kids had finally stopped, it was to go back inside for class. Edward had stayed there, outside, cheek on the cool ground and her hands over her ears. Then, when she realized all the other children were gone, she picked herself up and ran all the way up hill, ignoring the fact that she was skipping class.
In fact, the first thing she did was run into her mother's skirt when she burst open the door. Trisha stared at her oldest daughter, about to scold her for skipping class when Alphonse was still there, but then she noticed the watery droplets that soaked her face, red and golden eyes raw with pain.
"Ed...?" Trisha breathed worriedly. She dropped down to her daughter's height, placing a hand on her head and setting down a basket of laundry beside her. Her daughter had stopped crying, but she could see the fresh streaks clear away mud from her face. "Edward...?"
The small child looked up at her with sullen eyes, and when she spoke, her voice cracked. "Mama, am I a freak?"
Suffice to say, Trisha was taken aback. Then her green eyes hardened. "Of course not, Ed! Why would you ever think of something like that?" she sounded scandalized. But Edward didn't answer her mother, just fingered her long blonde hair with a thoughtful face. Letting go of her hair, she looked at her hands, dirty and calloused from years of playing outside.
"Mama?" she started out softly. "Can you cut my hair?"
.
.
No one talked to her. After she cut her hair, Edward made sure no one talked to her. She stayed out of range from their taunts, laughs and mocking voices. The only person she befriended was a blonde girl named Winry who didn't care that she was a boy or girl, just liked the fact that Edward could play soccer very well. They played at recess, no one bothering them as Winry became Edward's new best friend (along with her little brother, but he was in a different class) and they were even neighbors, which made them even closer.
Winry helped her stand up to the bullies that made fun of her every time. They stopped, but Edward noticed the whispers that they shared, the looks that they passed behind her back even when she was walking beside Winry who was so proud and wasn't afraid to show that she was Edward's best friend, even though that made her an outcast too.
Of course, being friends also meant that they had fights too. But they never lasted long as each girl made up to each other. Soon, Alphonse joined their little group too. That made Edward happy - for one thing, Alphonse was able to stay around for much longer. Second, because Al was like a voice of reason between her and Winry, so there was less fights between them.
Edward still heard their whispers in her sleep.
.
.
Edward wasn't in the slightest bit offended when Lieutenant Colonel Mustang thought she was a little boy. She had been used to it for so many years; and with her bandaged self, short curtained hair that covered her face and shaded her lifeless eyes, she wasn't even sure what she was anymore.
" - he would have all the privileges of a State Alchemist - "
" - find a way to retain their bodies - "
" - alchemy was the thing that got them in this mess in the first place - "
" - not even human! You want to put those children through more hell - "
" - it's their choice - "
" - what was in there was a freak of nature - "
" - disgusting, horrifying - "
" - bloody, vile - "
" - choice -"
" - retribution - "
" - regain - "
" - freak of nature - "
" - freak - "
Something in her mind snapped.
[She was definitely going to make this right. She would. This was nothing compared to her little brother's pain. .]
.
.
A terrifying gasp passed her lips as Edward Elric shot up from her bed. Putting a cool, automail hand to her sweaty forehead, she gulped in deep breaths of air and blinked away the remainder of sleepiness. Ed swallowed bile rising in her throat, burning as it went back down again. Getting up, she shivered as blankets fell off her small frame and cold air hit her skin.
She looked toward the temperature controller in her room, glaring at it and making a mental note to fix it later on. Too cold and her automail sucked it all in, even if her leg was back to normal. The time on the small clock beside her desk showed it was 6:59 AM, before another minute passed and it was 7:00 AM. She remembered vaguely that she had to be in the office by 8:30 AM for some special surprise that Havoc, Hawkeye, Mustang, Breda and the rest of the group wanted to give her. It was amazing she still even recalled it, feeling like she was in a hangover.
The nightmare was still fresh in her mind, mingled voices and mushed laughter, ringing echoes of past events. That, with the images of her mother's bleeding smile and twisted face, Truth's stabbing grin, Alphonse's outraised hand and desperate eyes, blood and gore and splattered organs and Nina and among other things usually haunted her sleep. It was a long time since she had a dream that partook in her childhood.
Although happier than what little of a life she had now, it was still filled with all her tears, insecurities and despair. Her mother and father, Trisha and Van Hohenheim Elric were expecting a boy when Trisha was pregnant. But instead, they got a little girl - and instead of a regular name, Hohenheim had insisted on 'Edward'. Trisha had loved that name just as well, naming their daughter Edward Elric although she was a girl.
And that was where all the teasing started - in school, Edward was always advanced in her studies, better than her other classmates. Due to the fact she wore boy's clothes most of the time (her mother couldn't afford dresses and skirts and stuff like that) and how she loved to read, play soccer or sports with the other boys. No one had thought any different until she revealed that she was a girl. Apparently, they had no idea, and it was unbidden to play with a person like her. A person who didn't belong - so children took it as how any other children took it.
They teased her.
It was only until it was at it's peak did she finally lose it. If they think I'm a boy, she had thought furiously, then I should look like one, right? It was in that moment of quiet rage that she asked her mother to cut off all her hair, to leave a cute shaggy style with short bangs. She didn't care if she looked like a girl or a boy anymore, let them think what they want and she would fool them.
When Mustang had came in and thought she was a boy - she could tell from the way he spoke about her - she decided that it would be fun to make a masquerade. She wasn't offended or angry about it, not at all - she was used to it, really. But being a boy would be easier. Less people got in her way, less people doubted her (they already did that enough with her age) and more people would try and think twice before doing anything. She already had the rough edges of a boy, the attitude and the personality. She decided since that everyone thought she was a boy when she was younger, they wouldn't think any different once she was older.
What a stupid kid I was, Edward thought, wincing as she took bandages and started to bind her chest for the day. It was unhealthy, and hurt like hell, but soon Ed became used to it - like everything else. It was getting harder to pretend - instead of her lithe frame when she studied with Izumi-sensei and when she was eleven, she changed. Edward's waist slimmed down to almost nothing, due to all the sparring and fights she would get into. The fact she had an hourglass waist enhanced her hips which became wider, her chest which became larger, and all together - how she was getting more irritatingly curvaceous day by day. Other woman would be glad; she thought it a hindrance.
She swore under her breath when a strand of hair caught in one of her metal joints; glaring at the blonde piece, she carefully worked it out with her flesh hand, quickly slipped on a glove to ensure the same wouldn't happen again, and threaded her hair into a braid. Flicking her ever-standing antennae when she was done, Edward slipped on a black tank-top (different, larger, in men's size but not too big) and a short, black jacket with silver lining. Leather pants that looked tight, but was actually pretty comfortable. Favorited black and red combat boots and a bright red jacket across her shoulder completed the look.
"Done yet, sis?" Edward turned and smile widely at the sight of her little brother.
Alphonse Elric, currently sixteen, was taller than Edward (a truth she had to face yet but refused to) by about three inches. Even though she knew guys always got taller than the girls, it still irked her to no end (not that she would ever admit it.) He had dirty blonde hair that was a shade darker than her own pure golden hair (that looked like her father's) and bottle green eyes like their mother. Edward was often taken over with an obsessive protection for her little brother, he looked so much like their mom it was incredible. Alphonse would roll his eyes when this was said and say that Edward look more like Trisha instead. (And, just to annoy her, he would also say she looked like a pretty little princess - in total privacy, of course.)
"Yup." Edward shoved her arms through wide sleeves of her jacket. "Let's go - hey, I just noticed. I'm pretty early, aren't I?"
Alphonse rolled his eyes at his older sister's victorious smirk. But he, like most people know how to calm her down. "Yes, you are, sis." Edward's sudden frown distracted Alphonse from moving any further to go outside. His brows furrowed. "Sister...?"
"Brother, you mean, Al." Ed gave a pained smile, and Alphonse blinked, standing in the doorway. Edward turned around and started to walk, talking as she went along the way. "So, I was wondering when Winry would come - "
"When are you going to tell them?"
Edward stopped, feet in front of her and eyes wide. Then they narrowed and she turned slightly to see her little brother's serious green eyes. "What?" she faked confusion.
"You know what I'm talking about, sis."
Edward sighed. "Alphonse, we've been through this." Unconsciously, she crossed her arms while cocking a hip. "I'll tell them when I'm ready." to make her point even clearer, she added, "And I'm not ready."
"You said that a month ago!" Alphonse threw his hands in the air, exasperated. But it was no use - Edward was already out in the hall, away from him and walking down with uneven thudding steps.
"And I'll keep saying it for another month more~!" she sing-songed from her position. Alphonse groaned and stuffed his hands in his pockets, a habit he had - unsurprisingly - picked up from his older tomboyish sister. She was walking (rather confidently he might add) with her usual red coat billowing behind her with every step, long golden braid swinging rhythmically behind her back. Sometimes, it was so hard to forget that she was really a girl, Alphonse thought miserably as he caught up with his elder sibling in long strides. It wasn't as if he didn't respect his sister's decision, but he knew it hurt her to pretend, to shade herself everyday. So it hurt him too.
Alphonse decided to move to a lighter topic, "So what did the Major General want you for?" he asked, referring to the meeting between Edward and Roy that was scheduled yesterday. Edward shrugged indifferently.
"I dunno. Wasn't there," she replied easily, as if missing meetings that were titled 'crucial' and 'of the most absolute importance' was a regular thing to do everyday. Which, for Edward Elric, it actually was. Alphonse's eye twitched and his mouth hung open slightly.
Al groaned. "Nii-san!" Using the title had become a habit for him, saying 'older brother' instead of 'older sister'. But he couldn't fight away it's foreign feeling in his mouth - even after six or so odd years. 'Nee-san' was always going to be the only word comfortable in his mouth, no matter how hard he tried to hide it. Obviously, Edward knew it too, but she ignored it justly.
The blonde female shrugged. "I was busy. And so damn tired." As if that's going to explain everything, Al thought a little bitterly, still hung over the fact of the masquerade from earlier.
Edward parted from her little brother in front of the Mess Hall, where Alphonse said he was going to get some breakfast (and assured Edward that he would get her some too). She walked, face mellow and calm. Well, not for long, anyways.
In front of the door to her superior officer's office, her nose crinkled involuntarily.
Sighing - it really couldn't be helped, that bastard - she kicked open the door with her usual flamboyant flair. No one took another surprised glance her way. After all, this was starting to become the norm. Second Lieutenant Jean Havoc gave her a lazy grin from where he was sitting back, cigarette half-falling out of his mouth. "Yo. Chief."
Heymans Breda, also a First Lieutenant, didn't give her more than a cursory glance; he was playing an intense game of chess with Kain Fuery, a Master Sergeant. Fuery gave her a timid smile and polite 'hello', then turned his attention back to the game.
Warrant Officer Falman, standing steady and silent, gave her a nod of respect, but didn't say anymore. And finally, First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye, who gave her a ghost of a smile and regarded her with a "Hello, Edward sir."
A small smile was what Edward offered, not large enough to be really called a smile, but enough to show everyone that she was finally pleased with her life. Pleased with what she had done and what she had corrected. It sent a clear message through the office, even if that rare smile flickered off a second later like a lightbulb in chloric acid. "So, what'cha got me here for?"
Abruptly, the temperature in the room cooled to a few degrees. This was not gone unnoticed by Edward, who crossed her arms and gave a wary evil eye. "What's up?"
"...Uh, you see - "
"Chief, it's a good thing, really - "
Breda and Havoc, who easily cracked under her gaze, started blabbing at fast speeds. They were cut off suddenly by the banging of a door. Silent, but loud enough to stop every voice in the room, every thought.
Roy Mustang, standing to his full height, looked like a very imposing figure to those who didn't know him personally. With dark, raven hair in a messed up fashion, and even darker nightmare-colored eyes, he was the epitome of handsome in that period. Elegant, sharp, and deadly. But now he was smirking and not looking anything like a stereotype would exist him of being.
"Ah, Fullmetal. You're here." He nodded to his office. "Come in, I need a word with you...short stuff."
"WHO'RE YOU CALLIN' SMALLER THAN HAVOC'S PAYCHECK!"
There were some snickers, and Roy dropped his smirk for an amused smile. "Havoc's paycheck, eh? I don't believe I said that much...shrimp."
"AAARRGH!"
Hawkeye sighed.
.
.
Stomping back into her room, Edward slammed the door closed. Furiously working off her boots and clothes, she tugged open her hair and grabbed a towel on the way to the bathroom. The event played from earlier spun around in her mind, like a broken record.
"Congratulations, Colonel Elric."
Her teeth grit in frustration as she remembered the Major General's words. No matter how innocent they seemed, they still had that mocking, twisting tone that she loathed. Like he was saying, Ha! How do you like it now? in a know-it-all manner, and it rubbed her the wrong way to no end.
The only possible thing she thought of to do was take a long, warm shower; it was proven, actually, to calm her down. Edward took the bottle of shampoo that Winry had slipped in her suitcase the last time she visited. It would've cost her Edward's job at the military if it were found out, but luckily no one did. Inspecting it, Edward looked it over dubiously. The bottle was light purple with a darker purple cap, and she shrugged and thought, Clean is clean.
In the end, when she walked out, she noticed her hair smelled like flowers. Looking in the mirror, she stared at her hair in horror; flowers? A girl would love it - and she did - but no self respecting boy would want to smell like flowers - and he didn't. She cursed under her breath, retying her towel around her bare torso. Another thing that was very troublesome - it would hurt like hell to bind her breasts again.
Her ears picked up on the sound of footsteps; must be Al, she thought wearily. Then looked back at the shampoo bottle, she decided that it was only fair to tell Alphonse to thank Winry, or else the blue-eyed mechanic would beat her for her finickiness.
Walking out the door while keeping he towel secured around herself, Edward didn't notice it wasn't Al she was talking to. "Hey, little brother, can you thank Winry for - "
In front of her was Riza Hawkeye.
.
.
"Wha - "
Riza's day officially started like this; she went to get coffee in the Mess, effectively waking her up. Then, she proceeded to go to Colonel - wait, Major General Mustang's office carrying a bunch of paperwork. The work was distributed between Roy and the others, the Flame Alchemist earning himself some bullet holes near his head for being uncooperative. This went on for about two hours, and then Edward came in.
Riza always liked Edward, thought of him as her own son; he was awfully short-tempered, but she knew that he was only a lost little boy on the inside, waiting for someone to find him. And beside that, he was a genius; he knew algorithms and physics and chemistry and things like that which she learned in high school but never elaborated. He knew how to be logical, sensible, rational, he knew things most people didn't.
And, if it was anything of importance, Edward always left a trail of chaos behind him.
Everywhere he went, things were destroyed, materialistic things were burned, burnings were diminished to crumbling dust, and there were more people whose lives were saved, who thought him an idol. And there were some who got to know him personally for a sensitive person he was.
Well, most of the time.
Right now, it wasn't one of those times.
Riza heard clearly the loud shout of 'WHAT THE HELL!' from her superior officer's room. A second later, Edward blast through the door like a rocket, flew out of the room with a furious look in his eyes and a heavy stomp. Riza supposed that he was told of his promotion - the blonde never really liked the military that much. Roy's face was visible through the open door, weary.
"Give Fullmetal his uniform," Roy said. "and make sure he doesn't cause any more trouble. God knows I don't need anymore paperwork."
Riza nodded stiffly and left, acknowledging the obvious order. Lazy or not, Roy Mustang knew what he was doing. Somewhat.
She had gotten the uniform - the smallest size they had. Hopefully it would fit, but Edward was still awfully short and lean for a seventeen year old; he was almost Riza's height, and that was only 5'6. It was one mystery Riza couldn't find out, seeing as Alphonse was tall, their father - from indirect sources - hit the six feet mark, and their mother wasn't that small either.
Well, looking at the frail, petite body covered only in a white towel, so obviously feminine, Riza got her answer.
"Y-you're a - " Riza was at a loss for words, something that didn't happen very often.
Edward was in the same state. "Oh...crap."
Looking at the Lieutenant's widened sherry eyes, and the blue packet in her hand that was now being clutched in two, very white hands, Edward's golden eyes darted around nervously. She stepped back a little, perhaps a little spasmodically aware of how quiet is was. Her hair dripped on the floor. "Uh...Hawkeye, I can explain - "
"You're a girl."
Edward flinched back slightly at the blunt tone Riza used. Her eyes no longer surprised or stunned, but now cool, calm, and deadly. Am I going to get court-martialed? The even thought of it made Edward nervous; the military was the only style of life she knew. And, though she wouldn't admit it, she liked working there.
"...Yeah."
Take a deep breath, Riza. Take a very deep breath. Riza did as her subconscious told, and sat down on the spartan bed that all the dorms had, ignoring Edward's worried face for the time being. Quietly, almost inaudibly, Edward slipped out of the room and back into the bathroom, giving Riza time to think things over.
Edward is a girl?
It seemed so impossible, but she was staring at the boy - no, girl, just a few seconds ago, and it was so painfully clear. Riza was past the shock, surprisingly to her. But another thing was banging against her skull; why? Why wouldn't Edward say anything? Why wouldn't he - she mention it? It wasn't as if the military didn't accept women...
But they didn't see them as completely equal to men, understanding dawned on the blonde woman. Even the women who enter are mostly secretaries or sergeants. Only a select few are able to be on higher ground - like General Armstrong. Before last year, there wasn't even a woman in the Brass.
Riza's mind began to move at a fast pace. Edward as a girl would serve fine now, the timing was good. If it was a year ago, then there would have been some problems, with the homunculi and all. But in fact, she might even be able to turn this to benefit her wellr... The teenage blonde came out from the bathroom, a red hue of embarrassment across her face, and clothed in a black tank top and sweatpants Riza suspected were worn to sleep.
Once again, she opened her mouth to say something - "You're a girl."
Edward flushed deeper, but managed a comeback. "Well, yes I am. No offense, Hawkeye, but you're one too, so you shouldn't really be surprised." For a second, Riza stood stock still and stared at the alchemist, who, despite looking very flustered and off, stared at her with steady eyes. Then, a warm smile spread on the sherry-eyed woman's face that completely baffled Edward.
"It's good to know that you're not any different, Edward," Riza said softly. Then, she stared curiously. "You're name is still Edward, right?"
"Yeah," she looked away bitterly. "it is."
Riza, catching this action, frowned. "Ed...ward...?"
"It's nothing." Ed smiled briefly, and waved her hand. "Just...something I hadn't heard in a long time."
For some reason, Riza didn't think that was the only thing on her mind. But she knew better than to talk about it.
"So, when were you going to tell everyone?"
Edward looked back, stunned. "Tell...everyone?"
"Surely you couldn't keep this a secret for the rest of your career."
Having the child genius look flustered and embarrassed again gave Riza all the answer she needed. "You were?" she asked, appalled by the idea. She couldn't think of pretending to be someone who she was not for her whole life. It must have been hard enough doing it for five years straight and not having anyone suspect you. Edward, however, still didn't answer.
After a short pause, she said, "W-well, when the time was right...?"
"And when is that time?"
Edward almost flinched at that question. It was the same question that was being asked by her little brother for almost a whole year now, and it was raving in her brain, short-circuiting her already thin patience and fuse. But hearing it from another, it made her die down, just a little bit. Sill, she frowned, feeling crotchety at the mere mention of it. "Why don't you tell me, Hawkeye?" Ed knew that she would be shot for her disrespect and sarcasm, even being a Major - well, Colonel now - but instead, she got a different answer.
"Today. Oh, and call me Riza."
"...what?"
.
.
Edward is a freak!
A freak, she reminded herself. Looking at her through the reflection was a pure, simple illusion. A girl so pretty was not her.
And yet it was, as Riza had consoled her. The pretty heart-shaped face, high cheekbones and fair, smooth skin. A button nose, right under a pair of small lips that were too full for a boy and the color of a light red cherry. Wide golden eyes covered by fair lashes, framed by the smooth, soft hair of a blonde shade - for a moment, the reflection changed from the pretty girl in the mirror to her mother, with the same features and smile, and then her father, golden and awkward, and Edward jerked her hand back.
"That's not me." she said shakily. Behind her, Riza looked on curiously, wondering how such a strong, unbreakable and determined person could be so uncoordinated by something as simple as her true face.
"Of course it is, Edward," Riza interrupted softly. "That is you. You just never took the time to see."
Edward turned around to look at her with confused, inquisitive eyes. Instead of getting an answer, Riza shook her head with a secretive smile, and picked up the folded square of blue clothes on the dorm bed. Edward, just noticing the cold air on her bare arms, frowned and grabbed her red coat.
She wasn't all that comfortable with showing her skin, just like she wasn't comfortable showing off her automail. Wearing this shirt that Hawkeye drew out for her to wear - one sleeve was long and covered her automail, the other had no sleeve at all leaving the arm and shoulder naked - and the pants that she also drew out - they weren't even pants anymore! More like leather shorts that actually clinged and showed off an awful lot of leg, especially since she received her flesh leg back from the Gate so now they were both smooth skin - and even her shoes! - now they were boots with high heels on them. Oddly, it only took her three minutes before she could get the hang of walking in them. Riza said that walking in heels was in a woman's blood, so she shouldn't have worried - and she looked absolutely...feminine.
Edward felt a dread crawling up her spine. "Hawk - Riza, a-are you sure about this?"
The blonde woman gave her a determined, yet somehow expressionless face. "If you don't do it now, Ed, you'll never be able to."
Edward was silent.
But then Riza walked out of the dorm, proud, sophisticated and absolutely sure that her plan would work and Ed would surely follow in a second, smiled slightly as she heard the soft, now even footsteps of a girl following behind her, eyes downward.
Edward noticed their stares.
She could pick them out, one by one, in her peripheral vision, each and every gaze that looked her over from top to bottom - most of them being men. She wished more than nothing to take her coat and cover herself up, make sure that they couldn't every see her, Edward Elric, as a pretty little girl that she knew she was and yet she was sure she wasn't.
"Hawkeye," she whispered under her breath, unknowingly slipping back into her old habit of calling the Lieutenant by her last name. "They're all looking at me."
"Ignore it."
A hesitant pause. "I can't. It's...hard."
Ed could see Riza look at her slightly, turning her head. "It's okay, Edward. You're strong, and you can ignore them, like you always do - right?"
The alchemist thought over that sullenly, mind flashing to her younger days or taunting and laughs. Riza noted something odd while Edward was thinking - the Fullmetal Alchemist was rather quieter and shyer, and if she dared to say it - more docile. It was incredible, how a change of clothes could change a firebrand boy to an awkward girl. Though she didn't doubt it - Edward was only feeling uncomfortable. Her usual personality would be back soon enough.
True to the words of Hawkeye, Edward was able to clear away everyone and everything by focusing on the fact she had her little brother back. And the fact that she would be expecting a wedding between her best friends soon - it would be extravenous, if Winry was in charge of everything. Then she thought of the Periodic Table and how she was hoping to create some more base elements to add -
Stumbling, Edward fumbled with a folder that was tossed to her by an expectant Hawkeye. Riza gave her a reprimanding look. "We'll do this accordingly. Edward, just pretend to act casual and come in. Don't worry about anything. And just act like yourself, okay?"
Without staying for an answer, Riza passed through the two doors, leaving Edward on the other side of an empty hallway. However, she did subtly leave the door open, for Edward to listen to the conversation.
"Back already, Lieutenant?" a voice she recognized as Mustang said. Involuntarily, she gritted her teeth at his mocking tone. Obviously, he saw the uniform in her hands and jumped to conclusions.
Riza's curt voice answered. "Yes, sir. Unfortunately, this uniform was not the correct size for Major Elric."
"Of course. Fullmetal's too short for the uniform." A tick appeared over her eye, and gloved hands clutched the folder tightly. Oh, he's going to get it. She practically fantasized the expression on Mustang's face once he found out. It would be enough to garter a Hughes-worthy photo.
" - don't be so hard on him, boss." Havoc's cool voice broke in between. Edward smiled a little that someone backed her up, and made a move to enter. "It's not his fault that he's practically a midget."
"I. Am. Not. A MIDGET." Edward grit out, door slamming in her wake as she entered the room. Her voice wasn't concealed, and her face was red in anger. She didn't notice the absolute look of shock on the faces of her colleagues, but focused on Havoc and Mustang in particular - seeing as they called her short. She would've hit them with an automail fist, if not for the fact that she noticed the stares she was gathering.
But different from the ones from earlier, she felt confident - not to mention raging mad. Crossing her arms, she ignored Havoc and Breda's stunned eyes and Fuery's rapidly increasing flushed face, (she also ignored how he stared at her legs - never pegged Fuery as the type) and Falman's awkward blush and - for once - opened eyes, and Hawkeye's satisfied smile. She also ignored the coffee mug Mustang dropped and fell into a stunned silence.
After a pregnant silence, he finally said ever so slowly - "I never knew...you were a transvestite, Fullmetal."
Color rapidly rushing to her fact, Edward gripped the edge of the folder in her hand tightly before flinging it in the Major General's face. His cry of 'Ow!' was lost as Edward's voice reached an octave above them all.
"I'M NOT A FREAKING CROSSDRESSER, YOU IDIOT!"
"B-but y-y-you look like a g-g-girl..." Havoc stuttered, looking unbalanced and choking on the last word. A dark shadow passed over her face.
"Have you ever thought," she muttered darkly, loud enough for them to hear, "that maybe I was born this way?"
"B-but that would mean you're a girl..." Breda repeated the tone Havoc used earlier, not seeming to believe what was happening. Edward rolled his eyes and didn't miss the smile Riza was enjoying to herself - finally the justice is done for my burnt building courtesy of those idiots; Riza Hawkeye was thinking - and crossed her arms. "Well, duh. I still can't believe it took you guys this long to find out. Hell, I can't believe I kept it secret for so long."
"Hawkeye! Why don't you look surprised?" Jean Havoc snapped his head toward her. "You look like you knew all along." Riza looked up briefly at him, and smiled, the same one she did earlier in Edward's room.
Five pairs of eyes widened.
Roy Mustang fainted.
.
.
Men did not faint.
Well, that's what Roy Mustang was saying to himself as soon as he woke up and caught glimpse of Edward's barely concealed laughing face. He just passed out from shock. Because he did not faint.
When he said this over to his subordinates, Edward giggled (there was no other way to explain it) and said, "Sure you didn't, bastard."
Then, looking toward Hawkeye, he noticed the time; it was five, even dark outside by the short days of winter. But it was sort of unimportant; his head was still dizzy, and he spoke with a slight slur.
"Fullmetal, what is the meaning of this?"
Edward, who was reading a file uninterestedly, looked up at him. "What meaning? I'm... a girl. That should be enough for you, right?"
Roy's teeth clenched. "No, I mean why haven't spoken up about this before?" In his subconscious, he noted the slight hesitation when she called herself a girl.
Riza, who was watching and listening patiently from her desk, toned in an emotionless voice: "Sir, the notion that Colonel Elric is a woman has already been passed around all five bases. The Fuhrer, as the Colonel has told me, had known for six months already. Colonel Elric kept this a secret due to personal matters."
In return, Mustang's mouth hang open as Edward nodded. "What she said." she jerked her head to Hawkeye. Then, Riza smiled and stood up, shuffling papers and reaching for her coat. She addressed the other blonde warmly. "Edward, we're having dinner at Gracia's place tonight. It's crucial you come; bring Alphonse, okay?"
"Okay!" Edward smiled and gave a slight wave as Riza left.
"How come she treats you so nicely?" Roy muttered, which was not unheard by Ed. She smirked at him. "That's because Riza likes me better." She stood up and put her red coat on, which was hanging off the back of her chair. Then, she added, "And because you're a surreptious bastard." Grinning, she left with a flourish that sent Roy blinking and cursing.
No matter what, Edward Elric was still Edward Elric.
(...and a pompous brat.)
.
.
Edward sighed in relief as the last box was deposited at their new apartment, and sat back on the one-poster bed with it's cushion-like pillows. They had been planning the move for weeks - her and Alphonse - and today was the day that they finally finished it. Also being the day that she finally revealed her true gender.
It was a little awkward, but it felt like there was something taken off her chest. Yet, that also made her feel bare and naked, exposed and uncomfortable to the world. The burden of being a boy became no more a burden than just a simple shroud, covering her completely and made her feel safe. And now that shroud was taken off, an she still could not feel anymore different from being a boy, except perhaps being a little nicer.
...Actually, scratch that little part out. Edward smirked as she heard the run-on sentence that Alphonse was saying as he noticed that her attention was not on him.
" - me and Winry downstairs, sis, so don't get in trouble so much, okay? And please - "
"You and Winry together in the same apartment?" Edward asked in surprise, but then Alphonse's face flushed and he realized the familiar look on his older sister's face. Edward sat up and placed her head in her hands. "Aw, my baby brother is growing up! Remember Al, don't do anything I wouldn't do! And use protection - !"
The last part was cut off by a pillow to her face, and loud bouts of laughter escaping the older Elric. Edward was practically in tears on the bed, while Alphonse was protesting weakly with a cherry-red face. "Nee-san...!"
"Oh god, that was...ahahaha!" Edward snickered on and on, and Alphonse's face was unreadable by this time. "I'm just teasing you Al. Lighten up little bro." Edward sat up with difficulty and punched her younger in the arm lightly. Alphonse pouted, then his green eyes guiltily traced the outline of his sister's automail hand - the only thing they didn't retrieve from the Promised Day.
Edward say him looking at her, and she put on a stern face, one that reminded Alphonse of their mother. "Don't even think about it, Alphonse Heinrich Elric." The boy in question colored as he heard his name being said in the same way as when he was younger and in trouble, but he shoved the continuously mixing images of his sister and his mother in his head out.
"But..."
Edward shook her head. "You're back whole." she said softly, eyes alight. Then slowly, she smiled. "That's all that matters, and you won't try and change it, okay?" Alphonse nodded obediently. Edward was actually scary when she was serious, not that he'd ever admit it to anyone. The female blonde smirked. "Good. Now, Riza invited us over to Gracia's for dinner. Some sort of special day. Come on, and don't be taking your time!"
Alphonse almost snorted. He barely took as much time as Edward did to put on her shoes - which were still heels for some reason, he noted - and a book that was previously on the side table labeled Medieval Alchemie Theoretics. He almost rolled his eyes, but then after she clipped on her watch and reached for the signature red coat - Alphonse snatched it out of her hand.
"Hey!" Her protests were gone unnoticed as Al pointed to the black overcoat that Winry bought her for her birthday, that still wasn't being used.
"Nee-san, go wear that one."
Ed looked dubious, crossing her arms and cocking a hip; a famous stubborn Edward Elric pose. "Why?"
Al grinned. "You look better in black. Besides, red with white and blue would clash." he added at the end, and Ed looked at her long sleeved t-shirt that was indeed, plain white, then at the blue denim jeans that hugged her legs a little too much that she borrowed from Riza while her real leather jeans were just shorts now, and her black boots that were still heels simply because of the fact they made her taller. Ed looked over herself, then back at Alphonse, and gave him a long, hard stare.
"What?" he fidgeted nervously.
"I'm so glad you and Winry are dating." she said simply. When he looked at her confused, she continued, "If not, I would be so sure that my little brother was gay."
A red face, a black jacket thrown in her face, and another five minutes of laughter before they both finally left.
.
.
A/N- Okay, this is the real end of chapter one. Hoped you enjoyed! Read chapter two, NAO. :)
-Summer