Hello. First story on here. Hope you find it as funny as I did when writing it!

Rose was doing paperwork when her computer pinged at her. At first, she ignored it; that only meant another email, and she didn't want to hold yet another coworker's hand as they asked what this thing did and why that levitated when it was obviously supposed to hover. As if there was a distinction between two. Part of her thought the tech geeks in R&D just wanted to see if all her hair could be pulled out by the end of the month. The way things looked, they might just succeed.

Still, curiosity got the better of her. When she saw the little bubble patiently waiting to be viewed, however, she smiled.

theDoctor has logged on

She shook her head at his user; couldn't he have come up with a better name? He had been thinking up ideas for three weeks now, surely there were better ideas. Still, it was better than BigBananaMan. She hadn't stopped laughing every time that popped up.

Might as well talk, she thought. There really wasn't anything better to do.

BadWolf910: Hey.

theDoctor: Rose! Where are you?

BadWolf910: Office. Why?

theDoctor: Can you come down? My lab assistant is gone again, and I can't find him.

She rolled her eyes. Jeremy had only been there three days, and it was only three in the afternoon.

BadWolf910: Sure you didn't scare him off?

theDoctor: Of course not! Why would you think that?

Rose could only imagine the faux indignant look he would have. She snorted, and typed her reply.

BadWolf910: You scared off the others.

theDoctor: I've only had three.

BadWolf910: Three dozen.

theDoctor: Not the point. I don't scare them off.

BadWolf910: Louise.

theDoctor: Ok. That was once. Once! And no one told me she was terrified of lobsters!

BadWolf910: No one expected you to have a room full of them, either!

theDoctor: I was asked to do a study of them!

BadWolf910: In the ocean!

theDoctor: Well, I needed all areas of data! Including lab environments!

BadWolf910: Then you should have put them in cages.

theDoctor: Well, if she hadn't screamed so loudly, they wouldn't have attacked her, would they? Not my fault she initiated their fight-or-flight response and they chose fight.

BadWolf910: You just don't think things through.

theDoctor: I'm a genius, of course I think things through. Sometimes, they just get… cluttered… and I let them slide. But! I do think about them.

BadWolf910: Fine. If he doesn't come back in five minutes I'll be down there. But no lying!

theDoctor: But I need help now. Otherwise I would have waited for Jeremy.

BadWolf910: Five minutes. I have work too, you know.

theDoctor: Fine. See in you five minutes.

Rose sighed, shaking her head in fond exasperation. It had been…. Interesting, to say the least, on getting the Doctor to work with her at Torchwood when he was stranded here with her. Pete had been happy to have him, but it had taken four weeks, more banana smoothies than Rose could stomach (she had thrown up, a lot), two trips to the sporting goods store, and a constant three days of nagging (that had made her feel a lot like her mother, and Rose still had nightmares about it) before he had finally given in and signed up. Now he had his private lab, a constant parade of assistants who couldn't stomach working with him, and a penchant for getting in trouble.

Well, the last trait Rose shared. But, being in charge of coordinating her various field teams, she simply didn't have time to babysit the Doctor. It didn't mean he didn't find excuses to see her, though.

theDoctor: Five minutes. He's not back.

BadWolf910: Alright, alright! I'm heading down. See you in three.

Hastily, Rose finished up her paperwork, signed on the dotted line, and as she breezed past her secretary (she had a secretary! A real live secretary! The Doctor had been thrilled when he found that out, and wouldn't stop yammering about it for four whole days) Rose told her she'd be gone for an indeterminate time, and to forward all crucial calls to her cell and make excuses for all others. Betty nodded absently, already used to her boss's strange behavior.

When Rose reached the lab's floor, the first thing she was aware of was the smell of chocolate. Three hallways down, she reached what looked like an overflow of chocolate pudding.

The Doctor himself was covered in it, and while normally this would have led to a variety of delicious and sexy ideas tumbling through her brain (and their bed), she was too busy gaping.

"Er… remember that Thrixian Multiplier that was found last week? I, er, fixed it."

Rose continued to stare.

"And, er, Jeremy may or may not have run off at the time it malfunctioned…. He may or may not be allergic to chocolate, and really, it works better than ever! After all, there may be a giant Hiodfndsintsa one day who can only eat chocolate pudding, and we'd be doing it a service! Stopping world hunger! Children love chocolate pudding, and we just made enough to feed a village! Well, it'd have to be sterilized, and that might ruin the flavor, but! We, er, have it, at least… Rose? Why are you staring at me like that?"

She replied, "I'm calling maintenance, and you can be in charge of finding your new assistant."

"But Rose!" He whined. "I don't have time for interviews! All those ASBOS being thrown about… you know I can't stand listening to dry-headed idiots listing all their achievements and awards and… Rose? Rose! Help! I think I might be stuck!"

Rose didn't hear him, already searching for the cleanup crew. He could do the paperwork this time.

And, she thought, she was going straight home to throw away every chocolate pudding container they owned.

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