Happy Birthday Jes.
My very first Bella/Edward fic, just for you. I hope you enjoy it and have a fantastic day. Much love gypsysue
Disclaimer: Ms Myers owns all things Twilight. I own my twisted mind.
Bella's Revenge
Bella Swan wouldn't hurt a fly. Bella Swan was always there to help you out.
Bella Swan could kick your ass in a back alley given half the chance.
Who is the real Bella Swan? Let me clear that up for you.
Bella Swan is a girl who grew up way too fast, having to take care of a mother who had no purpose procreating.
Bella Swan is a girl that was sweet and innocent until one of her mother's many boyfriends stole that from her at the age of twelve.
Bella Swan discovered at the age of fourteen that she could get whatever she wanted if she used her body.
Bella Swan was furious with the world for making her life so fucked up and even more angry at her mother for not protecting her.
Bella Swan hated men.
Bella Swan wanted revenge.
Edward Cullen was the target of that anger.
So who is Bella Swan? I am Bella Swan.
Why do I want revenge on Edward Cullen? Simple. He is the son of Carlisle Cullen, the man that had an affair with my mother and stole my innocence. I did my research and found out the Cullen's had moved to Forks, Washington a year ago. It was time for this little girl to go home to daddy.
The move wasn't hard to orchestrate. My mother Renee was getting remarried to some hack of a ball player who eyed me a little too much for my liking. One quick call to daddy to tell him I wanted to come live with him to give mummy and said ball player space, and a week later my father's patrol car was pulling up in front of the house I had not seen in a several years.
My father had enrolled me into Forks High School and the plan began.
Step One: Make Edward Cullen fall in love with me.
I used the ever thankful hacking skills I had picked up from the IT geek in phoenix (all it cost me was a blow job and his hands down my pants), and I hacked into the Forks High School computer system, making sure I had a few of my classes with said Cullen. I even made sure to get a couple of classes with that sister of his, Alice.
So now it was time to play my part and make Carlisle Cullen face his indiscretion head on. Being able to see the look on his face when he sees me was what kept me going. The fact that at anytime I could blow his carefully planned persona out of the water empowered me. I couldn't wait to show the world what a disgusting piece of shit he really was.
"Oh Bella, you are so beautiful." His husky voice breathed into my ear as his hands roamed down my torso. Disgust rocked through me as he touched me, whispering his words of love and desire to me as I fought the urge to vomit.
This was the fourth time he had entered my room to touch me, but the first time he had penetrated me. The feeling of him entering me was horrific as my insides burned and my body shuddered with the pain. I hated this man with a passion.
The first time he touched me I was going to tell my mother, until he warned me privately that if anyone found out about us he would make me watch while he killed my mother.
I endured his advances for six more months until my mother found out he was married and ended the affair, but the damage to me was already done. All I wanted now was revenge.
Five years. Five years of recovery, plotting revenge and learning all I needed to know to accomplish my goals. He may have ruined me, but he gave me purpose too, and I would be his undoing, just as he was mine.
Edward Cullen was the key.
I spent the weekend of my arrival getting to know my surroundings, settling in and honing my plans. My father had a truck waiting for me on my arrival, so getting around was easy, and I used that to find the Cullen's house. It was hidden away on the outskirts of town, surrounded by forest. I patted the bag lying next to me on the passenger's seat before opening it and placing my hand over the gun. Carlisle Cullen was going to pay.
Monday arrived with little fan fare, and it was time to meet the Cullen kids and put my plan into action. I needed to be close enough to them to have an excuse to be at their house, get the Cullen's comfortable with me, and make Carlisle sweat. My smile was firmly in place as I exited my car and made my way to the office for my schedule and school map.
Time passed slowly for the first two classes until English came along, and I was introduced to Alice Cullen. I knew her well from her pictures and took the seat next to her, letting a blush colour my cheek when she spoke to me.
I had many skills I had picked up along the way, blushing and crying on command where just two. I may only be seventeen years old, but I had lived many life times in my short existence.
Alice made fast friends with me, taking the shy girl under her wing and insisting I sit with her family at lunch. I blushed at her insistence, but internally I was laughing at her gullibility.
Did I feel bad about using his children this way? Yes, but never so much as I did when I saw Edward sitting at the lunch table. His pictures did not do him justice. Bronze hair, emerald eyes, pale skin, and the body of a swimmer. The man was a God, and for a moment I imagined what it would have been like to meet him if his father hadn't defiled me.
I already knew the world was a cruel place, but this just confirmed it for me because if the world was a beautiful place, I would have met Edward under different circumstances and probably spend the rest of my life loving him.
All eyes turned to me as I realized that I had actually snorted out loud in response to my thoughts, and I blushed, a real blush this time, at my slip. I looked over at Edward slyly from under my lashes and lowered my gaze, then brought my eyes back up to meet his. The green in his had darkened as he licked his lips, and a blush of his own ran up his cheeks. Boys were so easy.
I knew I was pretty enough, a bit of mascara and a touch of lip gloss was all I needed to attract them. Getting boys to do what I wanted was never an issue, they were easy to manipulate if they thought there was even a chance of getting some action.
Alice and I talked all through lunch as I stole glances at her brother and played it coy. Next class was Biology, with Edward, and my plan would begin.
After the lunch bell I took my time getting to the classroom, wanting to make an entrance. I found a little trip as I enter the door had the males of the species falling all over themselves to help the damsel in distress.
Entering the classroom and putting said trip into action, the boy that I did not want rushed from his seat to help me. Mike Newton. Edward glared at him as his hands lingered a little too long on my waist.
"Thank you, Mike." I said as I made my way to the teacher's desk. Mike Newton had been in the office when I arrived and had been an annoyance ever since, but with the way Edward looked at him just then, it wouldn't hurt to keep on his good side.
"Miss Swan, welcome. We only have one seat available at this time. Please take your seat next to Mr. Cullen. Edward, raise your hand so Miss..." I cut him off.
"I know who Mr. Cullen is, thank you, sir." I made my way down the aisle and took my seat, giving Edward a coy smile before facing the front.
"Hello, Bella."
"Hi, Edward."
We spent the rest of the hour taking note and flirting subtly. This was how my time at Forks High continued for the next three weeks; Alice and I enjoyed lunches together and getting to know each other, and Edward and I subtly flirted and danced around the subject of how we felt.
On the fourth week I was about to ask Edward out myself when he surprised me on Friday in Biology, asking me to the movies. I agreed of course, and thus begun the relationship of Bella and Edward. I had been to his house on many occasions, but every time I was there I excused myself before his parents came home.
It was Saturday, six weeks since Edward and I had our first date, and five weeks since we officially became a couple. Tonight I was going to meet his parents, but today I was going to deflower their son. What could be worse? Knowing that the woman you care about and claim to love after just six short weeks was raped by your father repeatedly, or that the same girl who had said those things happened to her was going to be your first lay?
Charlie was fishing with Billy down at La Push, so I had the house to myself for the afternoon. I invited Edward over early so we could spend some time alone before meeting the parents; he was due here any minute.
The door bell rang just as I was finishing up with my lingerie, my dressing gown wrapped loosely around my waist, barely concealing my underwear.
"Just a minute." I called down as I raced down the stairs.
I opened the door and placed a shocked look on my face. "Edward, you're early," I exclaimed and went to cover myself up, showing more skin along the way.
"I...um...it's four...you said...four...right," he looked down at his watch and back at me, his eyes barely meeting my face as they traced frantically over my exposed body. I blushed and nodded.
"Oh God, I'm so sorry. I must have lost track of time." I replied, letting the gown slip open as I waved my hands frantically in the air, causing Edward to gasp and swallow hard. "Where are my manners? Come on in, Edward." I pulled him in through the front door and tugged him up the stairs to my room, closing the door behind me.
"Just give me a minute to throw on some clothes, I won't be a minute." I slipped the gown from my shoulders while facing him and walked over to where he was sitting on the bed. It just so happened to be the same place my clothes were, and he was currently sitting on them.
I leaned over him, my breasts barely touching his face as I pulled gently on the jeans under his butt, causing him to fall forward, face pressed firmly into my chest as his hands reached out and grabbed my waist to steady himself. My hands placed themselves in his hair as I felt his tongue come out and lick over my nipple which was covered by my lacy bra.
"Edward," I whispered out breathlessly, "oh Edward, that feels so nice," I finished off as my hands tightened in his hair. I felt his lips pull up into a smile before he opened his mouth and took my breast in his mouth bra and all. I moaned and pulled his hair more forcefully. He may be getting my body but it will not be gently.
I pushed him roughly backwards and straddled his thighs. My hands reached down to unbuckle his belt, and I remove his pants and boxers in one swift motion.
"Bella, what are you doing?" He asked through heavy pants.
"You," was all I said as I pulled a condom out of the side drawer and rolled it over his penis. I didn't want this to be slow; I wanted it fast, hard and dirty. Thoughts of what his father had done to me ran through my mind, taking over any rational thought on my part. I don't know how I managed to keep the scowl off my face as I removed my panties and lowered myself onto him. Once he was fully sheathed in me, I gave myself a bit of time to adjust to his size before I rose up and slammed back down onto him, lowering my head and taking his nipple into my mouth, biting down hard.
I rode him hard and fast as my teeth and nails did as much damage as they could along the way. Poor Edward didn't last long, and he was sore as hell afterward.
" Bella, what was that?" He asked, his face showing nothing but concern for me. Damn it, why did he have to be so nice. Confusion clouded my mind as I sat up and dressed quickly, motioning him to do the same.
"We better get going; we don't want to be late." I said deflecting his question. I had the sudden urge just to get this over with as quickly as possible and move on, my plan already worked out.
Turns out I didn't need my gun after all, which was so much better for my plan. Carlisle kept one in his study for family protection. I had found it one day when I was snooping while Edward was making us a snack.
All I needed to do was ask to speak to Carlisle in the study, knowing full well he would follow me to try and keep me quiet. Pull out the gun, scream, rip my clothes and shoot him. Simple self defense. Charlie taught me well.
The car ride over was quiet, Edward holding my hand the whole way. I was shaking slightly from the thought of what I was about to do, Edward mistook it for nerves about meeting his parents. I guess he was part right.
We pulled up in front of the house and Edward made his way around to my side of the car and opened the door for me, extending his hand to help me out. He truly was a gentleman, must have learnt that from his mother. We made our way slowly to the door with Edward whispering in my ear that it will be fine and his parents will love me. Apparently he had already told them all about me and they were very anxious to meet me. I bet Carlisle was, that's for sure.
This was it; I took a deep breath as he opened the door and walked in. Within seconds a woman with brown hair matching Edwards was in front of us, pulling me into a warm embrace. "You must be Bella. It's so lovely to finally meet you." She said, smiling as she pulled back from the hug. Esme Cullen, the mother.
"It's so nice to meet you too, Mrs. Cullen. You have a lovely home." I said, letting my eyes roam around the room.
"Thank you dear, and please, call me Esme." Just as she finished Carlisle himself entered the room. Walking over to me, he extended his hand and said, "Bella, it's so nice to meet you finally. Edward and Alice have not stopped talking about you for weeks." He chuckled slightly as he nudged Edward playfully.
"Gee, thanks for that dad." Edward said, ducking his head. I reached out and took hold of his hand, looking him directly in the eye. Nothing. There was no flash of recognition in his eyes and his smile was genuine. Did he do this to so many girls that he couldn't remember what they looked like? The rage boiled inside me as I try to keep my composure.
"It's nice to me you, Mr. Cullen. I've heard quite a bit about you also." I replied, trying to get a reaction out of him. Any form of recognition. Still nothing.
"Don't believe all you hear Bella, and please, call me Carlisle." The smile on his face was still there and his eyes twinkled with playfulness. I wanted to be sick.
We sat through dinner, talking about school and how I liked living in Forks, when I decided to mention my mother's name to try and draw a reaction out of him.
"It's been nice here. I wasn't sure how I was going to feel being away from Renee, my mother..." I stopped short just to gauge his reaction. Again nothing. What was wrong with this man, was he some kind of psychopath, "but Charlie has been great, and everyone has been so nice." I finished off.
Dinner went on, and I continued to drop subtle and not so subtle hints about who I was. No reaction at all. I was seething by the time dinner had finished, and only had one goal in mind now: get him alone and put a shit load of bullets through him.
As we made our way to the lounge for coffee I asked if I could speak to Carlisle privately in his study, I had some medical questions for him. Edward gave me a strange look, and I smiled reassuringly at him.
Carlisle opened the study door for me, letting me go first, and I rounded his desk and placed myself right in front of the drawer where the gun was held. My hand reached down and I pulled it open slowly, taking the gun in my hand and closing the drawer back up.
"You really don't remember me, or are you just that good a liar?" I asked him as I placed the gun behind my back and walked towards the door, locking it and standing in place in front of it.
"Excuse me?" He said, playing confused very well.
"Oh, come on, Carlisle, it's just you and me now, don't play dumb. I can never forget the man that stole my innocence. Remember lovely Renee and her beautiful little girl Isabella Swan? I was twelve years old, Carlisle, and you raped me, over and over again. You used my body for your own amusement and left me bloody and broken every time. It's taken my five years to get here, Carlisle..." I broke off and raised the gun, "but tonight I will end it." I pulled the trigger and the sound of the shot echoed through the room. Seconds later there was pounding on the door, and as I turned to open it, that's when I saw it.
The picture.
There were two of them.
Oh, God, what have I done? I raced over to Carlisle's side and studied his face intently. No scar above the right eyebrow. It wasn't him. No. What have I done?
"Carlisle, no, no, no... It wasn't you was it? It was never you. Who?" I pleaded with him to answer me. He looked up at me with sad eyes, his shoulder bleeding profusely from where I had shot him.
"My brother, James," was all he got out as he sunk into unconsciousness.
The next few hours passed in a blur as he was rushed to hospital and my father was called. Questions were asked, but I couldn't speak. I was wrong. I had taken my revenge on the wrong man. I had hurt his family and maybe even killed him. My head was spinning, and then the blackness took me.
I woke two days later in a hospital bed, tubes attached to me and a police guard outside my door. My hands were handcuffed to the railing of the bed, and my father was asleep in the chair next to the bed.
"What happened," I croaked out.
"You shot Carlisle Cullen. Why?" Charlie asked, dry tears staining his face. In all the time I had known Charlie, he had never cried.
I started to cry as I told Charlie the whole story, the abuse I suffered at the hands of so-called Carlisle Cullen, how I found out too late that it wasn't him at all, but his twin brother James. I still didn't know the full story behind that.
"Is he...did I?" Charlie cut me off.
"No, he's not dead. They are waiting for him to wake up so they can find out what happened." Charlie's face was pale, he looked so distraught. "I'm sorry, Bella, I'm so sorry I couldn't protect you from that. You should have come to me, I would have protected you and your mother." He ran his hands through his hair roughly and pulled slightly. "This is such a mess. All we can do now is wait and see what Carlisle does. He's a good man, Bella, so you just sit tight and don't say a word until I tell you too okay?"
"Okay dad, I'm sorry about everything." I didn't know what else to say, I had screwed everything up royally.
I was released from the hospital the next day and taken directly to jail. Charlie pushed through my hearing, and I was released into his custody. It was four days before Carlisle woke up and the first person he asked for was me.
Charlie took me to the hospital and waited for me outside of his room.
"Bella, I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am for what my brother did to you. If I had any idea he was doing these things and using my name in the process..." He stopped short and shook his head slightly, causing him to wince from the pain in his shoulder.
"Carlisle, I...how do you apologize for hurting someone that was innocent? The things I have done in the name of revenge, Carlisle, you have no idea how much I have degraded myself. How many people I have used along the way just to get to you. Edward...I...Carlisle I can't even being to tell you what I did to Edward, and to think the first time I met him all I wanted was to be normal so he could love me and I could love him. I don't even know how to do that, Carlisle. He took everything from me, your brother. He destroyed me. Look at what I've become. The saddest thing in all this is the simple truth that if I could get my hands on him, I would do it again." I shook my head and let a single tear fall.
"Bella, you don't have to worry about anything. First, have you said anything to the police yet?" He asked.
"No, Charlie told me to keep quiet." I said.
"Good, now here's the story, you wanted to buy a gun for Charlie but knew nothing about them, you knew I was a collector and asked me my advice. I was showing you one of my guns and you accidentally shot me. Got it?"
"Why are you doing this? I shot you, I wanted to kill you." I asked, shock lacing my tone.
"Bella, I would have done the same thing under the circumstances. I don't want you to worry about James either, he was always a loose cannon, but I have ways of taking care of such things." He picked up the phone and dialed a number, and then his eyes locked on mine as he spoke.
"Aro, it's Carlisle. I have a mess that needs cleaning up."
Two months had passed since the shooting, all charges were dropped, and Carlisle and I bonded. We had become very close after everything we had talked about, and I enjoyed spending time with him. The hardest part was when we sat down and explained what happened to his family.
Esme hugged me and forgave me instantly, as did Alice, but Edward... Two months later and he still wasn't speaking to me. I deserved it, I did use him, but now that all of this was over and Carlisle was teaching me what it felt like to be loved and safe, along with Charlie of course, I wanted to be close to Edward again. I just didn't know how.
One night after one of the many dinners I'd eaten at the Cullen's house, Edward asked to see me in his room. I was apprehensive, but excited all at the same time; maybe I still had a shot.
"Bella, that night when we had sex, why?" I knew what he was asking, and I promised myself that from now on I would be truthful.
"I wanted to steal from you what I thought your father had stolen from me, I wanted your innocence Edward. I knew you were a virgin and I wanted your first time to be as awkward and painful as mine. I knew that it could never be the same, but it was as close as I could come. I wanted to tell your father that I stole that from you just like he had from me as I watched him die." I hung my head in shame and felt a single tear roll down my cheek. It was the only tear I would cry tonight.
Edward looked at me with disgust. "I loved you. I fell in love with you so quickly; I wanted us to be forever. I know it was fast, but I knew the first time I laid eyes on you that I wanted to be with you, Bella, and you did this. You used me and threw me away like garbage. What happened to you was awful, but you had no right." He shook his head to calm himself as his hands shook.
His hands reached out for me and he pulled me too him roughly, his lips crushing into mine with force. I didn't try to pull away, he needed this, he needed his revenge. I knew what that was like, the way it ate at you until there was nothing left of the person you once were.
He threw me down on the bed and ripped my jeans from my body, before pulling his own jeans down and rolling on a condom. He threw himself on top of me and slammed into me with force. I could feel the hatred rolling off of him as he pounded into me. I lay there and took it, not because I had to, but because I wanted him to get this out of his system. This wasn't about my weakness or his; this was about releasing the pain and hatred from inside his soul and mine. It was rough and hard and fast but most of all it was cleansing.
"I loved you." He repeated over and over as he continued to pound into me, thrust after thrust, his teeth biting into my neck, bound to leave a mark.
As he continued to thrust and bite at me, I could feel his wet tears on my neck and my heart broke a little in that moment, so I said the only thing I could, "If I knew how to love, I would love you too Edward. Teach me?" At my words his movements stopped, and he raised his head to look at me. All the hatred washed out of his eyes as they filled with compassion. He began to thrust into me again, this time slowly and tenderly, his bites turning to kisses, his tongue swiping over the marks he had made on my neck to sooth them.
"I will, I promise." He said before gently wrapping me in his arms and holding me close while he continued to penetrate me. From what I could tell, what he was doing was making love to me, the heat of his anger had died and love had replaced it at my words.
"Edward, are we making love?" I asked him softly.
"Yes, baby, we are, and that's all we will ever do from now on, I will show you what love is all about, I promise." He said, and with those words the dam burst. I threw my arms around him and pulled him closer to me.
"Please, Edward. Always." I begged him as I felt myself reach my climax.
"I promise. I love you." He breathed out through his grunts as he came hard inside me.
That was how I met my husband. Ten years down the track Edward and I couldn't be happier, and he was true to his word. He taught me what it meant to be loved and how to love in return. I was beyond damaged when he came into my life, well more to the point, when I barreled into it, but his heart and soul broke through to me over time, and eventually I started to understand the differences between love and hate. How closely they straddled each other and how they were so easily confused.
For so long I lived my life in a fog, consumed with hatred and revenge, it took nearly destroying Edward and his family to actually find what I had been subconsciously craving the whole time. Love.
These are the things I have learnt throughout my life. Through all the pain and sadness, through all the rages and need for vengeance. In the middle of all of it, I found love. My heart has grown and my life has changed so completely.
Esme came with me to tell Renee about what had happened to me all those years ago; she was more of a mother to me that Renee ever was. Of course, as expected, Renee made it all about her and it set me back for a while. Rage consumed me at her inability to be a mother and protect me, and when she admitted that she suspected something but thought she was imagining it, I lost it. I wiped her from my life and embraced my new family.
Charlie was my biggest supporter and did his best to help me learn what it meant to be loved. He was a good man, but emotions where hard for him too and he spent a lot of time blaming himself.
After all these years and all the lessons I had learnt, one thing still plagued me at night. What happened to James? I never had the courage to ask Carlisle for the details, I wasn't strong enough back then, but as the years progressed, so did the need to find out. I talked to Edward about it and he said he would stand by my side if he needed me to when I asked Carlisle for answers. He was my rock through the years, and he still is to this day.
Today was the day we were going to his parents place for answers. I couldn't wait anymore, my dreams plaguing me and stopped me from the one thing both Edward and I wanted more than anything now. To become parents ourselves.
We arrived at Carlisle and Esme's place and made our way to the front door, entering without knocking as we usually did.
"Mom, Dad, are you here?" Edward called out.
Carlisle came out of the kitchen with a smile on his face. "To what do I owe the pleasure?" He asked as he embraced first me, and then Edward, into a hug.
"Where's mum?" Edward asked.
"She's out shopping with your sister. You know she's going to drop that baby any time now." He replied, a huge smile on his face.
"That's probably a good thing. We need to talk to you. Bella hasn't been sleeping well, and we need to know what happened to James." As Edward said his name, Carlisle's smile faded from his face.
"I knew this day would come. Frankly, I'm surprised it took so long." My mouth dropped open at his admission before I snapped it shut quickly when Edward chuckled beside me.
We followed him into the study. I still shuddered every time I walked into that room. We all took a seat and Carlisle began telling us what had transpired.
Aro and his crew found James living with another single mother, using Carlisle's name again, pretending to be a doctor. She had a daughter who was eleven years old, and Demetri and Felix found James in the act of defiling the girl. The mother was at work it seemed.
Jane took the girl from the house and rushed her to the nearest hospital while Demetri, Felix and Aro subdued James and took him back to one of their many "safe houses". I can't even begin to process the things they did to James before they finally killed him, but suffice it to say he suffered many times over for what he had done to me and his many other victims.
While James was being tortured, they managed to get the names of all the girls he had hurt along the way, and a special trust was set up in their names, along with letters explaining who it was that had hurt them, clearing Carlisle's name.
I was grateful for all they had done, but a part of me, the part that Edward had reached in and rescued felt pity for him. I was saddened that people like that existed in the world, and that I had the misfortune to be the target of such a man.
With all the things I had been through in my life, all the regrets I lived with, I could never wish it hadn't happened. For without all my past pain and suffering, I would never have met my loving husband and wonderful in-laws. Without it I would never have learnt how to love so completely.
After all I had been through, one thing was certain, I was blessed. I was happy and I finally knew how to give and receive love.