Note: I've tried to remain original, however there maybe one or two repeats in other lists I haven't recognized.
25 Ways to Annoy Lord Voldemort
1. Suggest that a more suitable title for him would be 'The All Powerful Darkly Supreme Evil Lord Wrongdoer Pope-King' insisting that 'Lord' is far too common, and he's likely to be mistaken for someone else.
2. Come to one of his Death Eater meetings completely naked humming I'm Henry the eighth I am, act as though you're looking for something, grab the nearest object and exit scratching your head muttering very audibly something about not knowing 'Shnookykins' was working that night.
3. Dress up as Albus Dumbledore for Halloween and insist on calling him 'Mr. Riddle' throughout the entire evening. Calmly ask him if he would like a licorice wand.
4. Whenever he accomplishes something, however small pipe in with, "Your mother would be so proud of you, this might even make up for the whole 'killing her by being born' thing!"
5. Throw a surprise party on his birthday (December 31st). Be sure to include a ridiculously oversized lopsided cake, streamers, confetti, balloons and hookers.
6. While ranting about his latest plans, light up a joint and put your feet up onto the table, then blow smoke in the face of the nearest Death Eater. Look back at him and offer him a hit.
7. Take charge of his lair, clean and primp the rooms to perfection and go into a fit of rage whenever he touches anything.
8. Offer to give him head when he's feeling down.
9. Make a drinking game revolving around him.
Chug When:
He mentions Harry Potter
He fails miserably… yet again
One of his Death Eaters is being an incompetent fool
ACT DRUNK AS HELL WHETHER OR NOT YOU ACTUALLY ARE.
10. Belt out Captain & Tennille's 'Love Will Keep Us Together' atrociously off key whenever there is an awkward silence.
11. Constantly quote Aesop, or any other philosopher. Make sure whatever you're quoting has absolutely no relevance to the conversation and is pointed directly towards him.
Use these most frequently:
"What a splendid head, yet no brain."
"The shaft of the arrow had been feathered with one of the eagle's own plumes. We often give our enemies the means of our own destruction."
"Any excuse will serve a tyrant."
"After all is said and done, more is said than done."
12. Make him special brownies. If you don't know what 'special brownies' are, ask your hippie hash smoking neighbor, and he'll be sure to fill you in.
13. Ask him to check for the bogeyman in your closet. When he says no, burst into tears and say that Dumbledore would do it.
14. Read a book on mental illness, and then announce that you are now an omniscient master of the mind and diagnose Voldemort with the following: Attachment Disorder, Antisocial Personality Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, Encopresis ('fecal soiling'), Insomnia, Male Erectile Dysfunction, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, and Paranoid Personality Disorder. At the end, look up at him with a very serious expression and say: 'You're one fucked up mofo."
15. During a Death Eater meeting go in the room where all the coats are, and shit on the coats. Inspired by Dane Cook
16. Shove pictures of aborted fetuses in his face and urge him to take a side of either Pro-life or Pro-choice.
17. Whenever he goes off on a rampage and threatens to (or in fact does) kill someone say, "Looks like someone has sand up their vagina." Inspired by Eric Cartman
18. Buy a giant cross and a waterbottle. Whenever he comes near you, splash water into his face, hold up the cross and yell: "THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU! THE POWER OF CHRIS COMPELS YOU!"
19. Buy him footy pajamas for Christmas.
20. Challenge him to a dance off.
21. Whenever he mentions a plan that could be potentially detrimental to his health, reply: "Don't cut off your nose to spite your face… oh wait."
22. Set up an account for him on Myspace, Facebook or both.
23. Slip LSD into one of his beverages.
24. Compare his attempts at killing Harry Potter ith Wil E Coyote's obsession with catching the Roadrunner. Laugh when he doesn't get it.
25. Get him a puppy.