A/N: I have a writing muse and it's in the form of Peter Hale... apparently.
/
"Hey is Derek around?" Stiles asked as he entered the loft. Creeperwolf aka Peter Hale was sitting on the couch with numerous papers scattered in front of him along with a laptop. Stiles wondered why the older man spent so much time in his nephew's apartment when he once said he had one of his own, probably because he liked being able to always know everything that was going on and this was an easier way of doing it.
"He went out. Should be back in a half hour." Peter replied without looking up. Stiles shrugged and walked over to where Peter was sitting. He could wait, he needed to talk to Derek about something important.
After a few minutes of nothing but the clicking sounds of Peter typing on the computer Stiles decided he couldn't take the silence. "So what have been up to since the heist? Filling out applications?"
Peter remained quiet, focused on what was in front of him. Stiles took it upon himself to see exactly what the werewolf was looking at he couldn't help but start laughing when he looked at the papers. "You really are looking for employment! Peter Hale working man." It shouldn't have amused him so much but he just couldn't help it. Peter caused nothing but trouble for him and his friends, it was nice to see karma was kicking his perfect ass.
Peter finally looked at Stiles, clearly annoyed, and handled him an application. Stiles looked at the piece of paper confused. Then Peter said with a small smirk, "Bills don't pay themselves now do they? You should know, I'm sure the cost of your vacation at Eichen House is really not a burden at all. You might be needing this more than I do."
"Oh shut up." Stiles said, cursing himself for not coming up with a better reply. It was a sore subject with him though. He felt bad enough about the whole Nogistune business as it was, the constant bills from Eichen House didn't help matters. His family's financial troubles have been on his mind for a while now. He didn't Peter to remind him.
Though maybe a job would help things. He looked at the application again. It was for Wal-Mart. "Are you really applying there? Something tells me that costumer service would not suite you. Or anyone. You'll probably end up going on a murder spree. Again."
"Is that such a bad thing? A few less idiots in the world." Stiles rolled his eyes and the Peter sighed. "There's not much out there for a guy with no real work history, not to mention a guy who is supposed to be dead."
Well that made sense. Though the idea of Peter having to deal with angry customers still amused him. "So you don't think you will get your millions back?"
For the second time Peter sighed, "I will get that money back and whoever took it is a dead man walking." Stiles didn't doubt it, that night in the vault Peter looked like he was on the verge of killing everything in sight. He was barely holding back his homicidal urges. "However, until I get my money back I need to have a backup plan. I have to find a job." He said the word like it was the most vile thing in the word and it made Stiles want to burst out into laughter even more.
"Yeah I get it. How else will you be able to afford those fabulous v-necks?" Stiles said with a grin. Peter gave him a murderous glare, but didn't say anything. So Stiles went on, "Have you ever had job?"
Peter shook his head, "Our family was rich. I inherited a nice sum from my parents when they passed. Before the fire I was working on my Master's degree in History. I just never had the need for a job so why bother." He shrugged and went back to whatever he was doing on the laptop.
"You are applying to Wal-Mart. What else do you have lined up?" Stiles didn't know why he was so interested. He chalked it up to boredom, he really wished Derek would get there already.
"Well Macy's, Target, oh and a strip club. My audition is Thursday." He said and Stiles nearly fell off the couch. He was so surprised he began to cough.
"Are you serious? Why would you blind people like that? No one wants to see naked you even if you are hot!" Stiles began to ramble as Peter began to laugh so hard that Stiles swore tears were coming from his eyes. "Wait-why are you laughing?"
"You really think I'm hot?"
Realization hit Stiles and he suddenly felt so stupid. Peter was toying with him, of course he was. He couldn't help the slight blush that graced cheeks. "Don't start thinking more highly of yourself than you already do. I have 20/20 vision, I can see that you are attractive and we aren't first graders. I can say you are attractive and it means nothing." Stiles began to go on another tangent. Peter just kept laughing which annoyed Stiles to no end. Where the hell was Derek?
In the end Peter finally regained his composure, but wore a smirk that Stiles really wished he could wipe off that face. Stiles had to wait another half hour until Derek came back. To fight the silence, instead of asking questions or trying to make small talk like last time, Stiles took to just playing "Why Don't You Get a Job?" by The Offspring on repeat curtesy of his phone.
It was around the third time of it playing that Peter snapped and thats how Derek came home to find the two running around the room. Stiles running around the room laughing his ass off and Peter looking more murderous than ever.
/
So yeah I had this idea yesterday and then I watched the new teen wolf and Peter's "What an I suppose to do? Get a job?" Had me laughing so much cause he's such a drama queen that I really really really needed to write this fic. And then i realized The Offspring song for perfectly so yeah.