Hi everybody!! I finally got rid of my laziness long enough to write a sequel to "10 Years of Questions". However, I do not now if it sucks or not. Also, sorry but this is concentrating on the aftermath of the explanation given by Shiho and Shinichi - I suck at dialogues.
Thanks a lot to all my reviewers "Some Detectives' Tales" (I've got more ideas coming up), and for "10 Years of Questions" (walkmefish, xxBakaAkki and Miyano Ran). They made me really happy!! This is pretty much for xxBakaAkki, as I probably never would have written it if not for her (? I hope I got that right... ) comment!!
And lastly, I have to say that... to the last news, Gosho still owns DC (and files 646-649 rock!!)
On with the fic, now!
To Tomorrow and After
Ayumi was running, as fast as she could. The sun had replaced the rain of the preceding day, and the steaming heat of the young afternoon –it was only 12:30- made her hot, slowing her down already. She felt tears dwelling in her eyes, yet she refused to let them fall. She wouldn't cry for that – it was too stupid, too childish. She felt as if she was throwing a tantrum, she realized, and she didn't like it. It wasn't her type to do that kind of things, just because of some stupid broken dreams.
She knew she shouldn't have run out of the restaurant. But she wouldn't have been able to prevent the emotions she'd kept inside for so long to break loose for an other instant. It wasn't the lie that Shinichi and Shiho had made them live with, or the way they'd just abandoned them without any explanation –it wasn't that at all. She didn't feel cheated, or angry anymore; she knew the circumstances, and the reasons. She was now old enough –Shinichi was right on that point- to understand why he and Shiho had done it, and she thought they had made the right choice. She had seen Genta and Mitsuhiko's reactions, and she had known almost instantly that they felt the same way, only perhaps a little cheated of being left away from the action, when the Organization had been brought down –boys were like that, Ayumi thought.
So why? Why had she ran out of the café, when she knew, understood, accepted all the lies, everything? She had seen Shinichi's face when she left, and the pained and guilty look it had showed had reminded her of Conan way too much for her own taste. 'Why didn't I realize it sooner?'
Yet, at his reaction, she hadn't helped feeling disappointed.
'If I was Ran, he would have gone after me.'
Was it really all it was about? Jealousy? The sadness of not being the one chosen, only being this little girl that he felt indebted to? Was she so selfish as to be sad that she hadn't been able to make him stay as Conan? That she hadn't been good enough for him, strong enough to win him over?
A first love wasn't supposed to be that strong.
Yet, the estrangement, the waiting and this hope to see him again that she had not given up, and her untold feelings kept inside her heart; all of that had made it grow in something far bigger than she could have ever imagined, so that when the time to let go had come, she hadn't been able to.
Thus, when she had finally seen the truth, when it had been revealed, it had dawned on her that the man-turned-boy she had loved for more than ten years was long married and already had a child.
And she hadn't been able to stand the shock.
'I guess that with such a revelation, I can only give up…Ha ha … I'm so stupid…'
She was now walking, having more and more trouble to keep the tears in. 'Baka…'
She had done the only thing that had come to her mind, at the time –she had fled. And now, she wished she hadn't. She was all alone, with no one to comfort her, to help her. Could she really make it? Nobody had run after her… But why would they? Mitsuhiko and Genta were too shocked, and Shiho and Shinichi probably thought that they had no right to come to her – and in a way, they were right. Having Shinichi comfort her would definitely have made things worse. But Shiho would have helped, at least a little. It had been too long for her to be as effective as when she was Haibara, but she would still understand her, Ayumi thought. Although, she now realized the ones she had really wished to see were Mitsuhiko and Genta, even if she doubted that Mitsuhiko was in a state for such a thing –Ai was his first love, after all.
"Ayumi…"
She turned around, to see Genta, red, hot and panting from the run, looking at her. She must have walked more than she thought, or he wouldn't have caught up with her.
"What did you think you were doing? You didn't have to run all that way, you know! If you felt depressed, you just had to say so! I don't know if you can really trust Shinichi and Shiho again so soon, but haven't Mitsuhiko and I always been here for you before?"
Ayumi felt him staring at her in such a deep and serious way, that she couldn't say a thing. His tone was firm, almost accusing. It was as if she was going to explode, break in pieces under that gaze, and once again she felt her eyes watering, but she contained herself, for what seemed the hundredth time of the day.
"It's okay to cry, you know."
She hadn't imagined one second that he would have seen right through her, yet that was exactly what he had done, with an astounding easiness.
And she let herself cry.
So that tomorrow, and all the days after, would be worth longing for.
'Bye bye, Conan…'
Hope you liked it!! Please R & R!!