A/N: Wow, yet another new story. Just last chapter in another one of my stories someone commented on how nice my endings always were, and that even if there was angst in the story I always resolved it.

The thing with this story is that it will be a series of one/two-shots usually being angsty all the way through, and a lot of the time leaving it off that way. This is where I will post all those ideas I get from reading the manga and listening to songs and reading just random stuff. I get a TON of ideas for this kind of thing, but they're all one-shots so sometimes it feels like it's not even worth it. So I'll be putting all such ideas and stuff in this one simple story.

In this story I will probably break all my usual rules. I will do character death (I will warn you), I will do utter fluff of death, I will do pure angst A LOT, I will do character pieces, I will do comedy, I will do anything you can think of and probably more! Also, while Sakura and Syaoran can be very good characters to write about, these will 98 percent of the time be about Kurogane, Fai, or the pairing of Kuro/Fai.

This first chapter is Fai's thoughts and expiriences with Kurogane up until right after the Tokyo Arc. Some of this is how I feel he really thinks, some of this is not what I think he thinks at all.

No matter what, I hope you read, review, and enjoy.

Truthfully, my first impression of him was that of him being an ignorant moron. Of him being a man who wasted the great magical abilities of the person who had sent him to the Witch. He was a man dressed all in black who had no idea of anything. Also his wish vexed me to no end. He wanted to go back to where he had come from? Why hadn't he just stayed there then? Why had he come here in the first place?

I supposed it was hitsuzen, inevitability, fate. I supposed that I really shouldn't blame him so much for being there, he was just an ignorant man, it wasn't like he knew that he had no choice, but to appear at the shop, like I knew I had to. I decided that I would help him along a little bit.

While I had been deciding all of this I had completely forgotten the name that he had told the Witch. Kuro...Black...he was wearing black. So I supposed that made a whole bunch of sense. I remember what I said to him exactly. "Mr. Kuro, could you please hold back on the insults?"

For this he had yelled at me, yelling for the very first time that his name was not Kuro, but Kurogane. I had gripped onto the hood that protected my head from the droplets of water now known to be rain. I had pulled the hood more over my head as if to protect myself from his words, but truly it was for a different reason. I had brought my fingers to my lips and let them trace the real smile that my lips were forced into.

I wanted to laugh. Yes, I had just been yelled at. Yes, I had just been trying to help him let this whole ordeal go smoother so that perhaps we could all get what we wanted. Yes, I had forgotten his name. Lastly, yes, I did deserve to be yelled at for the abuse of his name, but still I did not react like most people react when yelled at. I smiled.

I smiled quite a bit. King Ashura had always loved my smile so I had taught myself to hide behind that horrid grin, but this wasn't my usual smile, this was real.

What was this emotion that filled me? At the time I had spent precious moments trying to figure it out. At last, I had known that it was something called, 'joy.' This joy filled me to the brim, and made me want to turn around and throw every single thing that could possibly annoy him in his face. It was fun. I liked the sound of his voice yelling, screaming in my ears.

When we arrived in the Hanshin Republic I tried it again. I asked him his name. I asked what he'd prefer to be called, I can't remember the exact choices I gave him, but he rebuked each one of them in a great, loud yell, and I grinned again. That feeling filling me.

I watched him. I knew that this man was my opposite star. I knew that this man was the Witch's pawn, just as I was Fei's pawn. I knew that sometime in the future we would face each other and that I would have to kill him, or die trying. I knew that were natural enemies. I knew all this, and still, I couldn't help but to respect him in a way. Look at him, so confidant, so sure of what he wants, so straightforward, never lying.

I found him amazing. I found that I wished to be like him. When I realized this I slapped myself on the wrist. How dare I? How dare I think things such as that? How dare I admire him? I couldn't get close to him or anyone else, I had to distance myself from them, they didn't concern me! If I let myself become attached...my dreams, they would crumble in front of my eyes.

For a while I just let him yell, get pissed off, whatever, in Outo this was no different at first, in fact the reaction I got from the Puppy names filled me with such glee that the first night after he had chased me around the cafe I had not been able to even sleep.

Then I let myself be hit by an Oni. Kurogane had not liked that. He hadn't yelled this time, I hadn't expected him to yell, but I also hadn't expected him to scold me like a child. He spoke of how much he hated people like me. A shiver of pleasure had run up my spine at that. Hate. He hated me. He hated who I was most of all, and I liked that.

However, this was not all good. Kurogane had seen a small fraction of who I was. So, I smiled more. I teased more. I made more jokes and even went so far as to start including Syaoran and Sakura in them.

Every time he yelled I grinned. It showed me that my words still annoyed him, it showed me that I was still fooling him. It showed that I was still more clever than him. I could accomplish my mission and still have my fun with him. I could still remember everything, and yet, when I heard his voice yell at me in an angry or hateful fashion, for just a moment I would forget.

Needless to say, I was using him.

In Yama, it all changed. No longer could I tease him so. In fact, in Yama, I couldn't even open my mouth and speak, after all, I was pretending to be mute. So, for that time, the teasing stopped. All my masks, except for the constant smile, stopped.

Of course, I still watched him. That was easy, watch his actions if you can't understand his words. As I watched, I noticed something that scared me. I had never noticed it before, but there it was, bright as day. I wondered how long it had been going on...

He was watching me too.

Did he know? Was he not the ignorant being I thought him to be? Was he actually just as knowledgeable as I was?

In my heart I begged and begged and begged for him to stop watching me. I wished and wished for him to look away. For I knew that when he looked at me, he was no longer looking at the grinning idiot that I pretended to be. I did not know how deep he was looking, but it was deeper than I wanted him to see. I hoped Mokona would be near enough soon that we could speak. I didn't want to deal with a confrontation.

At last the children and Mokona came. For once I let Kurogane have his fun when he asked to test Syaoran, I don't even know why I went along with it. Perhaps it was because I couldn't really speak, or perhaps because I'd get to hear his voice more if I did. Whatever the reason, he had his fun and then it all came to an end. I could speak again and we kept on our journey.

For a little while I was wary of him. Teasing him even more than I ever had. Coming up with new jokes that once made him stick up his middle finger at me...I told him that he didn't really want to fuck me for that might give me pleasure. That drove him off from doing anything like that again. Although he did keep getting upset at me. I doubted anything would prevent him from doing that.

For a very little while I was safe. Then I realized how much he'd seen in Yama. I said something about Sakura and Syaoran's changes in Piffle and Kurogane retorted, saying that if I believed what I had said, then I had changed too. This scared me almost as much as his watching me did. Not even I had noticed the small changes in myself, he was watching me close enough to know things I didn't!

I didn't stop. I kept on joking, waiting for his yells and screams and when I heard them, I relished in them, they were better than anything to me. They were my drug, my fix. They made me like life, they made me shiver with pleasure, and make me want to live for the next few hours on the chance that I would hear him yell at me again.

I loved it, and through it, I loved him. Although at the time I did not realize that my love extended past the voice and reached the being who the voice belonged to. I didn't realize this extended love until after my eye was gone, and with it that extended love.

It changed again. In Tokyo. I spoke to him while I cared for Syaoran and Sakura. I had come to realize that I did care for those two. They were okay. I could care about them, they were important to what was needed for my dreams, even if I was not supposed to be involved with them. I would never have to kill them in order to preserve my dreams.

"Um...If you don't say anything, then it'll be like I'm talking to myself!" I waved my hand in front of his face. I hadn't even really teased him. I had only asked if I was keeping him from sleeping. Yet he hadn't spoken, and that bothered me. I hadn't heard his addicting voice.

He spoke, but not in a yell. Still, it was enough. It was enough for me to stay still, listen to his words, and realize he'd seen even deeper. I hid it all behind a few simple words and a joke, "You've got a really great memory! Just what I would expect from you, Daddy!" I clapped my hands and laughed, I waited for him to yell, and he didn't.

I got scared, "Oh forget it, I'm fine now. C'mon. Say something mean." In a way, he obeyed my words and did say something I took to be mean or cruel, and it did make me shiver, smile, and laugh, but it did not fill me with that joy of knowing that this was fun. It was anything but fun.

Not twenty-four hours after that conversation I lost my eye to the clone that we had been traveling with. The pain was immense, so much so that I wanted it to end badly. I wanted to just die. I could just die, and I knew that if I died now that my magic would die as well, and that was a good thing! If I was gone I would never see my dreams fulfilled, but it was still very possible that they would be fulfilled, even if I was no longer there.

When I asked to die, Kurogane said no. He yelled and screamed, and told me no. I no longer loved that voice. I hated it. I wanted to lift my hands up to my ears and try to block out the sound that seemed worse than nails on a chalkboard. What was different? Why was his yelling then and before different? Why did his yelling at me to save my life make me cringe while the annoyed yells at my jokes make me feel alive?

"If you want to die so badly, I'll kill you myself. Until then, live." Those words made me see. I hated that tone because he cared. He cared. The voice that made me shiver was the voice that hated me, the voice I loved so deeply was the voice that wanted me to go die alone in a pit. This new voice was different. This new voice of his said that he didn't hate me, this new voice said that he wanted to stay by me.

I didn't want him to care. I wanted him to hate me. I could only love him if he hated me. If he loved me...then I had to hate him. And so, as I woke up a vampire, I did hate him, him and his caring voice.

"Morning, Kurogane." It was a low blow to call him by his name after all this time, but I had to work hard. I had to work hard to make him hate me again. That was the only way I could love him while I was still Fei's pawn.

What a cruel life Fate gave to me, to only be able to love someone if that person hated me in return. How horrible it must feel to some people to even imagine that, to never be able to have a mutual love. I don't care. I don't need him to love me. I don't want him to love me. I didn't need hugs, kisses, sex, soft words, or nights in front of a warm fireplace. I don't need that. All I need from him is that voice, that tone that showed saturated hate for me in every syllable.

That's all I will ever need from him.