A/N: Hey guys! I hope you enjoy my new story. This one will be several chapters, so stay tuned! I know that the characters (mainly Choji) are a bit OOC, but I truly believe that everyone gets a little weird when they're with their best friend! I hope it doesn't ruin the story for anyone, that would be a drag.

Shikamaru was strolling towards the Yakiniku Korean restaurant where he was planning to meet Chōji. When Shikamaru had received a phone call from Chōji, who was pleading with him to meet up as soon as possible, he had tried to coax his old friend to talk to him on the phone, but Chōji insisted that he needed to talk to him in person. What a drag, Shikamaru thought. Not that he minded hanging out with Chōji; in fact, they were best friends. To the young genius, however, almost everything was a drag.

He approached the restaurant and began looking around for Chōji. As he entered, he saw his friend sitting at a table in the corner and went to join him.

"Hey, Shikamaru!" Chōji said, a nervous looking grin on his face.

"Hello, Chōji," Shikamaru replied, and then sat down and began scanning his menu. Once they had picked out what they wanted, Shikamaru made small talk with Chōji until he was ready to talk about the reason they were here.

"So, Shikamaru…" the gentle giant laughed nervously and scratched the back of his head.

"Hm?" Shikamaru replied, meeting his gaze.

"So, uh…I was wondering….I know you…ya know, get a lot of girls," Chōji started slowly. "I guess I was wondering how you do that."

Shikamaru allowed a small smirk to grace his lips. The young genius knew he was a fine piece of ass, and even he could not deny that he got a lot of pussy. For once, Shikamaru did not think 'what a drag' at the prospect of doing something.

"It's like this, see? Winning over a woman is a lot like playing a game of shogi. You have to make the right moves, at exactly the right moment. Given that both parties are interested and you play the right moves, you can win the game and, hopefully, the woman." Chōji was hanging on to Shikamaru's every word.

"Wow, thanks," the gentle giant said. "Do you have any other tips for me?"

Shikamaru, starting to feel the drag of exerting effort to give relationship advice, replied, "I'm sure I could think of something, but why are you asking?"

His old friend laughed nervously, and his cheeks turned pink from embarrassment. Shikamaru waited patiently for Chōji to gain the courage to speak.

"Well, I was hanging out with Karui and things were going great, until I completely ruined the moment. I don't know what to do about it. She told me it was fine, but she seemed put off," Chōji explained briefly. The young genius's interest grew immensely at this, and he perked up to hear the rest.

"What a drag. What happened?" Chōji was blushing profusely at this point, but he trusted his friend and forced out his story.

"I asked Karui to go on a date with me. I was so shocked and happy that she agreed that I didn't think to prepare myself at all beforehand. Everytime I would think about the date, all I could think about was how beautiful she is, and how she's the first girl to ever pay me any real attention," Chōji began.

"So did you do something to ruin the date?" Shikamaru asked.

"No, actually. The date was perfect. It was the after that I messed up on. I walked Karui to the inn she was staying at, where she invited me in. Can you believe it? A real girl actually went on a date with me and invited me to her room afterwards? I should have known it was too good to be true." Shikamaru perked up even more and listened to hear what happened next in this bizarre story of his friend's.

"We got to her room, and she kissed me. Full on the lips, with tongue and all. Things started picking up, and we were getting really into it. She was letting me touch her boobs, and her ass. Kissing was weird, but it was kind of hot. I guess she got tired of it, too, because she got on her knees and pulled down my jeans and started jacking me off. Her hands were so soft, it was incredible. But her hands didn't compare to her mouth, which she pushed on me next. She took almost my whole dick in and was sucking on it good. I thought she was going to suck the soul right out of me. All of a sudden, I got a really bad urge to pee. I assumed it was just my orgasm, ya know? I heard that sometimes that's what it can feel like." Chōji started shaking his head in shame. "I was trying to hold off my orgasm for as long as I could since we had only just begun, but the strain made me do something really embarrassing."

Shikamaru cocked his head at his friend, by now very intrigued and interested in hearing the rest of the story.

"The strain of trying not to cum too soon made me fart…loudly. All of a sudden, Karui stopped sucking my dick and looked up at me with this weird look on her face. It was as if she was disgusted by me. Being the idiot that I am, I asked the dumbest question that came to mind. I looked right at her and said, 'Oh…did you hear that?' Immediately afterwards, of course I realized how dumb I sounded. She looked offended, and she still hadn't said a single word since the blast from my ass. She apparently started to smell it then, because her face twisted up and she started to say something, which I'm pretty sure was that she wanted me to leave, when my dick chose that moment to open up and start spewing piss all over her. I had been hoping it was semen, but the smell was unmistakable. She definitely knew what it was. She screamed with an emotion I can only describe as horror, and then hurriedly stood and told me to leave."

Shikamaru was shocked; this story had taken a turn he hadn't been expecting. However, the only response he could think of was, "What a drag."

"I apologized many times, but she was having none of it. She said she was fine, but she practically threw me out of her room, and I haven't heard from her since." Chōji shook his head in desolation. "How did I mess up so badly?"

"Well, it seems like your game was okay until things actually started going," Shikamaru encouraged his friend. "Look here, I'm going to help you out, because you are my best friend and I think that you may have some potential. I'm going to give you some pointers based on my own sexual experiences that I've had with some of the other shinobi from our village. I'll start with the one who was the easiest to get in bed, and end with the one who was the most difficult. Maybe you'll learn a new move or two, and in the process maybe I can teach you how to control yourself." Chōji was uncertain if this could help him, but he had faith in his friend and decided to give it a try and nodded his head in agreement.

Shikamaru thought for a moment and then smiled. "I would have to say that we should start with…"