AN: I haven't read any fics based on the script Warren gave us of the deleted Bensidy scene in Downloaded Child so I decided to write one. This was my first attempt at smut and I'm sorry if it's complete and utter shit, I wanted to try it and challenge myself to write something that took me out of my element. Imani, I did it! Fiona, Erica & Diana, don't kill me, k?

The initial plan was to leave this as a one-shot but now I'm not so sure if I want to do that or to continue it. Let me know what you guys think I should do.

As always, I own nothing. Dick Wolf & NBC own Brian and Olivia and the lyrics are from Kelly Clarkson's Already Gone.

Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories, they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye

The night was young yet the sky was dark and the wind was howling angrily at the sidewalks that were covered in a light dusting of snow. Olivia walked briskly toward her apartment, tugging at her scarf, tightening its grip around her neck. It was mid-March but it was still frigid out. It seemed that the City had no intentions of waking up for spring to arrive.

Olivia rubbed her gloved hands together gingerly as she stepped into the warmth of the building; she quickly checked the mailbox before heading upstairs. She walked down the short hallway leading to her apartment, stopping to sigh before she entered her key and unlocked the door.

Her heart stopped when she walked into the small apartment. Dinner was ready and plated on the table that was adorned with candles, a small bouquet of flowers sat neatly in the centre of the table in a vase; Olivia looked up and saw Brian smiling at her, not the usual boyish smile that she had fallen in love with but a different smile, a smile filled with sadness.

He gently reached her for jacket and hung it on the coat rack before he handed her one of the glasses of wine he held in his hand before leaning in and placing a soft kiss on her cheek. "Welcome home," his voice was small and uncertain, he wasn't one to show openly show emotion but with Olivia he always tried a little harder. Although he hadn't mustered up the courage it to say it aloud yet, he was so deeply in love with her that it broke his heart watching them drift apart the way they have.

"What's all this?" Olivia asked smiling as she took a sip of her wine, letting out a soft sigh of contentment as the dark liquid flowed down her throat.

Brian's gaze shifted from Olivia to the floor as his hand rose to rub the back of his neck as it did every time he began to feel nervous, "I'm… making an attempt"

Olivia smiled as she watched her usually tough, hard as rock boyfriend become worried over how she'd react, she gently cupped his cheek in her free hand and brought his gaze up to meet her own, "it's nice," she said offering a genuine smile "thank you".

Brian walked to the table and pulled out a chair and signalled for Olivia to have a seat, "how was your day?"

"You sure?" Talking about work was usually something that Brian and Olivia strayed from, with Brian working at IAB a lot of the things that happened at their respective workplaces stayed separate in case either mentioned something that could cause a possible problem for either of them at any given moment. This caused both of them to walk on eggshells around the house, their conversations kept to a minimum with silence often filling their time together.

Brian walked to opposite end of the table, taking a seat directly across his girlfriend and wrapping his hands with hers. He smiled at her and raised her knuckles to his lips placing a sweet kiss on them, smiling at her, "I'm sure, Liv. How was work?"

"Not good." Olivia sighed as she unloaded the heaviness of her day at SVU on Brian, thankful that she had someone to talk to. She never realized just how much she missed these moments, the way they used to feel so at ease together. The way they used to sit and talk about work, life and everything else under the sun for hours on end. They used to spend all night wrapped in each other's arms, making small talk after making love all night long but now, like everything else in her life, the relationship was slipping away.

They spent the remainder of their dinner chatting about life. In the months that had seen them drifting apart there were numerous things they had forgotten to tell each other. There were stories of love, stories of friendships, of pain, and laughter. Olivia wondered how they let their relationship get away from them the way they did. Wondered how they managed to grow apart only after they decided they were ready to share their daily lives with each other.

It started with the perfect kiss then
We could feel the poison set in
"Perfect" couldn't keep this love alive

Olivia sat on couch cuddled with Brian, her head resting lightly on his chest as his strong arms wrapped around her shoulder. This was the present yet these were the moments she missed the most. They were together, they were connected yet she couldn't help but feel like they've never been farther apart. She could feel her heart beating loudly in her chest and the nagging pain and fear that had been at the back of her mind returned with a vengeance. It took everything in her to muster up the strength to finally say what was on her mind, "I've missed this." Her words were quiet and her voice was shaky and her eyes stayed planted on the dark television in front of her. She was never one to initiate conversations about feelings, fears and emotions, in fact she was usually the one who avoided them at all costs but in this moment, she needed him to know how she felt, needed him to know she was worried.

"So have I." Brian's free hand ran tenderly through Olivia's hair, eventually falling to land on her thigh. Her hand found his and their fingers intertwined, "what's happening to us, Liv? Everything started out so well. How did we get here?"

Olivia shifted in Brian's arms so that she was now sitting up beside Brian, she reached over and took his hand in her own, and her eyes focused on his, "I don't know, Bri. I guess we let life get in the way of our happiness."

"I'm sorry, Liv. Really, I am."

"There's nothing for you to apologize for Brian, there's two of us in this relationship; two of us in this apartment and two of us who've made mistakes…"

Brian's thumb gently rubbed Olivia's outer palm, "do you think this is fixable, our relationship?"

Olivia felt a tear roll down her face and she bit the inside of her cheek gently as she pondered Brian's question. A few moments later she looked up at Brian, his face was full of sorrow and regret. She pushed herself closer to Brian, "I don't know." The honesty in her answer shocked her. She looked at him teary-eyed and smiled sadly at him, cupping his face in her hands, "but right now, I don't care…" Olivia closed the small space between her and Brian as she pressed her lips longingly to his.

She missed him.

She needed him.

She was losing him.

Brian wrapped his arms around Olivia and pulled her even closer to him as his fingers made their way to her short brown hair. He kissed her with every ounce of love he had in his body, he wasn't sure if their relationship would survive the night but even without ever saying the words, he needed her to know how much he loved her.

Their kiss was passion-filled and emotional, with both of them trying to express their feelings without using words.

They separated only when they both needed air and Olivia rested her head lightly on Brian's before their eyes met again. A smile spread on both their faces as their lips met again briefly before Brian pulled Olivia onto his lap and she rested her head in the crook of his neck, her fingers gently tracing the light cotton material of his shirt before she began planting tender kisses up his neck, stopping at his jawline when she heard him moan quietly.

"Liv," he pulled away slightly, their eyes meeting again,

"Brian," her voice so small it could barely be heard in the silent, dark apartment. She knew she looked scared but she didn't care. She was terrified to lose the man she loved, the man who has supported her, helped her and loved her in ways she couldn't imagine ever getting from anyone else, "please."

That was all the instruction Brian needed. He picked Olivia up off the couch and carried her to their bedroom. He laid her down gently on the bed and brushed away a few stray strands of hair that fell on her face before he kissed her once again.

Olivia moaned quietly into the kiss, grabbing Brian's shirt to bring him closer to her. She tugged at the bottom of his shirt before he broke the kiss long enough for her to pull it over his head and toss it aside.

Once their lips met again Brian's hands worked diligently to undo the buttons of Olivia's blouse, she gently lifted her shoulders off the bed and Brian gently removed the light material from her body. Brian ran his hands over Olivia's body, down her hips and rested when he reached the waistband of her work slacks; he swiftly unbuckled her belt and trousers and slid the material down her legs before he pulled his own pants down leaving them both in nothing but their underwear.

Brian's placed another soft kiss on Olivia's lips before his hands slid down to Olivia's black lace bra, his thumb grazing her hardened nipple through the material eliciting another moan from Olivia before he made quick work of the clasp and removed the garment from her all together and taking her breast in his mouth, suckling gently on her hardened nub.

Brian traced kissed down Olivia's stomach and over the lace panties, smirking when he felt the heat that radiated from her. He tugged the material down her toned legs and gently kissed his way back up her legs, to her thighs and finally to her core. His smirk grew wider when he heard her muffled moans and felt her hands grip his hair, her nails gently digging into his scalp, he eagerly plunged two fingers into her while he continued lapping and suckling on her clit.

Once her moans grew louder and her breathing turned jagged Brian gripped her hips keeping her steady as he pulled her closer to her climax with his mouth, a few moments later he felt her body buckle as she screamed his name. He waited until her body relaxed before he let go of her hips and hovered against her, his eyes locking with hers.

His thumb gently traced the outline of her jaw as he focused on her face which was outline solely by the moonlight that snuck in between the small opening of the curtains, "god, you're beautiful," he smiled when he saw a slight blush creep onto Olivia's face before she wrapped her arms around his neck pulling his lips to hers for another passionate kiss.

She gently tugged at the waistband of his boxers and Brian pulled them off, freeing his hardened member with a groan of pleasure. She reached down and gently stroked him, moaning when she felt how hard he was. "Brian," she whispered in the dark bedroom, "I need you."

He quickly positioned himself so he was between her legs and planted a tender kiss on her collarbone, making his way up her neck and back to her lips before he slowly thrust into her, both of them moaning at welcome feeling.

Their movements were slow and deliberate with each of them wanting to take their time, cherish the moment and relish completely in each other. Their hands roamed each other's bodies as if they were trying to memorize every inch of each other, their kisses her passionate and needy. They wanted to give each other everything they could and they wanted to take everything being given to them.

This was different for them, they often used sex as a way to avoid their emotions and to avoid talking about feelings but this was more than passionate; it was sensual. They both wanted the other to know exactly how loved they were and that no matter where their relationship went they were connected by a love and tenderness that could only be achieved together.

Their love making lasted well into the night and they called each other's names as they reached their climaxes, it was feeling unlike anything either had ever experienced before, so full of wanting, need and love for the other person.

"Wow," Olivia said panting lightly as she heard Brian chuckle quietly as he pulled her closer to him, wrapping his arms securely around her waist. She sighed contently as she let the back of her head rest on her chest, "that was, incredible."

"It's always incredible with you, Liv." Brian kissed her shoulder tenderly and smiled when he felt Olivia's body melt into his. He held her tightly until he felt her body relax and her breathing even out. Convinced she was asleep he finally let the words he's been wanting to say escape his lips quietly, "I love you, Olivia," he said before he closed his eyes and finally fell asleep.

A tear fell from Olivia's eyes as she heard Brian's quiet confession, she never questioned that he loved her but hearing those words when she knew there was a chance their relationship was ending broke her heart. "I love you too," she whispered back into the dark bedroom before she allowed herself to fall asleep.

And I want you to know
You couldn't have loved me better…