Forward

(Major homage and credit to Katdog161)

A/N: This is a sequel to the user Katdog161 excellent story "Heal My Insanity". I emailed Katdog161 and asked if I could have their permission to write a sequel to "Heal My Insanity" and they said that it would be fine with them. So, before anyone reads my fanfic, I strongly encourage you to go and read Katdog161 original story before mine because there will be references from that story in this story, so you my not understand what's going on unless you read the original first. It is an intriguing and well written story that combines themes of romance, despair, action, and PTSD. This story however, will focus on the morally questionable things that Jason did and experienced during Far Cry 3 and "Heal My Insanity", and how it is affecting him in his everyday life several years later. Jason is still haunted by his subconscious and his horrible thoughts and memories. I really wanted to expand on Jason's psychological problems that he had in Katdog161 fanfic.

A/N: Also, I decided to change Daisy's age slightly. She was supposed to be 26 during Far Cry 3, but I changed her age to 23 during Far Cry 3. So, she is currently somewhere around 26 to 29 years old. Jason also has his age changed to 24 during Far Cry 3 and is currently around 27 to 30 years old.

Story is told from Jason's POV

Jason is in a struggle between his conscious/subconscious and the person that he wants to be

Jason's thoughts and conscious/subconscious will be written in italics

NOW, THE STORY

-A Few Years later-

Chapter 1: {About Last Night}

(Current Time)

"I can't believe that I did that to Daisy." Jason said to Liza, as he looked down at the cup of coffee in his hands. "I… I'm… I'm a monster."

Jason stared down at his coffee, watching the steam rise, waiting for Liza to say something… to say anything at all.

She's silent Jason. She's speechless, at a loss of words. How else is someone supposed to respond to a story like that? Huh? How else Jason? How else?

"Jason…" she started to say. The, she leaned forward and placed her right hand on top of Jason's left hand. She wasn't disturbed or made uncomfortable by his missing finger anymore. After the momentary silence Liza began again. "Jason… you are not a monster."

Jason lifted his eyes up from his staring at his clinched hands on his coffee, to look up at Liza. Liza had been looking him in the eyes. When Jason's eyes met Liza's, he abruptly pulled his coffee and hands holding it away from Liza's hand and into his chest.

He then started to recline back in his chair. Liza also withdrew her arm from the table and proceeded to lean back in her chair and folded her arms across her chest.

"I am Liza, I am a monster." Jason said. "How can you tell me that I'm not after what I just told you?"

Jason turned his head to the left and looked out the coffee shop's window, at the sandy white beach of Santa Monica.

Santa Monica was full of tourists and vacationers this time of year, it was summer after all. There are gift shops and kiosks everywhere, luring in visitors to buy souvenirs and cheap sunglasses.

Many of the locals of Santa Monica avoided the part of town close to the beach this time of year because it was always overcrowded with tourists.

But not Jason and Liza. They loved this local coffee shop. They had first met each other here years ago, and when they were dating, they would spend lots of time here talking and laughing together.

After Jason broke up with Liza and began dating Daisy, Liza wanted nothing to do with Jason. Eventually, after the hostility between the two of them dissolved away, they became friends again and repaired their relationship. Liza soon became Jason's best friend, and the only person other than Daisy, that he can confide in.

Daisy knows that both Jason and Liza don't have any lingering romantic feelings towards each other. Daisy is thankful that Liza is someone else other than herself, that Jason trusts. And he can trust Liza enough to tell his darkest thoughts and nightmares to, and it gives him some relief from his psychological pain and turmoil.

Liza would never look at him like he was a monster. No matter what the horrible experience was that happened to him on the islands, or how insane of a dream he had, Liza would understand.

"I'm sure that Daisy forgives you. You know how much she loves you." Liza said.

Jason turned his head away from the window and returned to face Liza.

"I know that she forgives me." Jason said. "I know that she understands… that she understands me. That she knows everything about me, and everything that I've… that we've been through."

Of course Daisy understands. Of course she understands you, Jason. No woman could ever love a lunatic like yourself unless they understood you.

Jason continued,

"Daisy knows that I dream about what happened to me back on the islands. She knows that I don't want to have these dreams. I don't always have dreams. Most nights I never have them, and those nights I will just sleep peacefully throughout the whole night and wake up the next morning feeling fine."

Jason stopped to take a long and slow sip of his coffee, which had cooled down to room temperature by now.

"But Liza… those nights when I do dream, the dreams that I have feel so real. It feels like I'm actually there, like I'm really doing the things that I see myself doing." Jason said. "But this is the first time that one of my dreams became real."

/

(Flashback to last night)

~Jason's Dream~

Jason was chasing Vaas through the jungle.

"I killed your brother Jason!" Vaas taunted. "I fucking killed him, and now I'm going to kill the rest of your friends! They're fucked Jason, they're fucked! I'm going to kill them all, right in front of your eyes!"

Jason felt like he was catching up to his antagonist.

Vaas continued. "But not that sexy little blonde. Fuck no! I'm going to keep her for myself. She will be my little plaything. Once I capture you again, I'm giving you tickets to the best seat in the house!"

Jason was almost within arm's reach… almost.

"You will be living the rest of your life in a cage and the only entertainment you'll have is watching me fuck that blonde!" Vaas shouted. "I might even let my men have their fun with her, after I've had mine. How will that feel Jason? How will it feel being only a few feet from Daisy, and not being able to save her? Don't worry, I going to make sure that this fucking nightmare never ends!"

Jason never stopped running after him. He couldn't let that happen to his friends. He couldn't let Vaas hurt Daisy… he couldn't let Vaas hurt his Daisy.

Eventually, after what felt like ages, Jason caught up to Vaas. He gathered all his strength and leaped forward, grabbing hold of the back of Vaas's shirt collar, pulling them both to the ground.

Falling to the ground knocked the wind out of Jason.

Just as Jason started to get back onto his hands and knees, he felt a hard steel toed boot crash into the side of his head. Vaas's kick to Jason's face knocked him back to the ground.

And in an instant, Vaas was on top of Jason where he began furiously punching him in the face.

"Oh… you like it rough don't you Jason?!" Vaas asked in a taunting voice. "I bet you do! I know you do! Because you're insane, motherfucker! As fucking insane as me!"

Vaas continued slamming his fists into Jason's bloody face, all the while cackling like a maniac. Jason struggled to muster the strength to force Vaas off him.

"Come on, Jason," Vaas taunted, "just fucking give up."

Jason could feel himself blacking out. He could feel himself giving up. His willpower was wasting away.

You're pathetic Jason. Just pathetic. You can't save yourself, you couldn't save Grant, and you can't save Daisy.

Daisy… Daisy… my Daisy…

Vaas continued to laugh manically.

I can't let him hurt Daisy… I can't… I won't… I won't!

Jason had felt a sudden surge of anger course through his body.

What are you doing?! Get up Jason, get up and fight back! You need to fight this piece of shit! You need to kill him! You need to kill him Jason!

His strength having returned to him, he quickly shot out his right hand up in the air to intercept Vaas's left fist before it reached his face. Jason twisted Vaas's so violently that it forced him to let out a shout of pain. He was confident that he had broken or at the least dislocated Vaas's wrist.

Having seized the moment, Jason then threw the psychopath off him.

Jason then let his renewed vigor take control of his body. Jason was then back up on his feet and stood upright and ready face off with Vaas.

He was surprised to see that Vaas was already standing.

Jason wondered how Vaas was able to recover himself so fast, when just seconds before he was rolling on the ground and clutching his injured wrist.

He looked Jason in the eyes. "What are you waiting for motherfucker? Come kill me!"

Jason rushed towards Vaas and smashed into him, throwing him backwards until he collided up against a tree.

Jason wrapped both his hands around Vaas's neck. He gripped Jason's wrists and attempted to wrench himself free. It was a futile action.

Jason never loosened his hands, never stopped crushing his throat. Jason wouldn't stop until he saw the pirate's face turn blue.

He wouldn't stop, couldn't stop…

/

Jason awoke from his nightmare. As soon as he did, his eyes opened wide in horror at what he beheld in front of him.

It was Daisy. Jason was on top of Daisy. Her frightened eyes looking up at him. Jason had his hands around her small neck. He was acting out his dream… he had turned his nightmare into a reality.

"Oh my God!" Jason shouted. "Daisy!"

Jason took his hands away from Daisy's neck. "Daisy? Daisy? Are you okay? Daisy?!"

Jason picked himself up off Daisy and out of their bed. He hastily ran over to the right side of the bed where Daisy sleeps. Daisy had raised herself up to lean her back against the bedframe, at the same time she was gasping for air.

"Jason…" Daisy said weakly. "Jason I… (cough), (cough)." Her attempt to speak caused Daisy to have a fit of coughing.

Jason couldn't ever have ever felt worse than he did at this moment.

"Daisy… I… I'm so sorry. I didn't know what I was doing. I… I… was dreaming… and… my dream… my dream was…" Jason tried to continue but was at a loss of words.

Speechless, Jason got down on his knees and lowered his head. He couldn't bring himself to look at Daisy, to look at her face. Instead, he gently reached out his right hand to place it on Daisy's knee. Jason left his hand on top of the thin white bedsheet covering Daisy's legs for what felt like minutes.

With his head held down in sorrow, Jason began to feel tears slide down his face. Several drops hit the floor beneath him and he watched as they were slowly absorbed into the carpeting.

Look at yourself Jason. You're a monster. You became a monster back on the Rook Islands. You were a monster when you left the islands. You were a monster on the pirate ship. And, what's the use in trying to pretend, you're still a monster today.

Daisy finally broke the moment of silence.

"Jason" she began, having regained her voice, "I'm alright, I'm okay." Daisy tenderly took hold of Jason's face with her soft hands. "You were having a nightmare, I know that you were having a nightmare. Your dream must have felt real, that's why you acted out. But it was only a bad dream Jason, just a dream. It wasn't real."

Jason kept his head down, he just couldn't look up. Unable to withstand the pain of seeing Daisy's face after what he did, he left his gaze down at the floor.

"Jason… please look at me." Daisy said, her voice was so calm.

Jason took his hand off her knee and used it to brush away the remaining tears on his face. After swiping the tears away, he finally lifted his head up. Daisy had leaned forward her slim figure, closer to Jason. The bedsheet had fallen away from her chest and leaving her bare breasts exposed.

She is so beautiful. I love her so much… I love her so much and yet I hurt her. How could you love her Jason? You don't strangle the woman you love. But you're a monster, aren't you Jason? A monster can't love… if they did, then they wouldn't be a monster. Isn't that right Jason?

Daisy's green eyes were fixed on his.

"Jason listen to me." She switched to a slightly sterner tone than she was using earlier. "It was just a nightmare. I know you didn't mean to do that to me. Your dream must have just felt so real, that you began to let your subconscious take over. You couldn't see the difference between your dream and reality."

Daisy pulled Jason's head into her chest and embraced him. Jason was still very distraught over his actions. He then clinched his hands into fists as his body began to shake in a subtle manner.

"I'm alright." Daisy said trying to comfort Jason. "I'm alright, I'm okay, I'm okay. I love you Jason."

Usually, whenever Jason awoke from one his nightmares, he would be in a panicked state. He would almost always wake Daisy up with his heavy breathing, and then Daisy would roll over to hug him. This would help Jason relax. He would then rest his head on Daisy's chest while she stroked his hair and he would listen to her heartbeat. He loved listening to Daisy's heart beating. It would be the only thing that would clam him down, allowing him to fall back to sleep and not have anymore nightmares for the rest of the night.

But this time however, nothing could console Jason.

He began to speak again, his voice shaking. "It's not okay Daisy. I could have killed you! What if I didn't realize what I was doing? What if I didn't stop… what if I didn't stop… with my hands… around your…"

Jason was unable to finish as he started to choke up. And then the tears came again. Falling from his face to land on Daisy's breasts.

"Please just come back to bed. Please Jason, come back to me." Daisy said.

After a few moments, Jason's tears had stopped. He did feel better. Daisy could always take his pain away. All he had to do was hold onto her, and she would tell him that everything would be alright.

Jason stood up from Daisy's embrace and proceeded to head back over to the right side of the bed. Daisy rolled over on her left side to face Jason. She lifted the blanket up for him to slide under. She was completely naked underneath the covers.

Daisy and Jason would often sleep without any clothing on, even on the nights when they didn't make love. Santa Monica was warm year-round. And on the few cold nights of the year, they would closely hold onto each other under the sheets, insulating their natural warmth.

Jason hopped back into bed and under the covers. He moved over to the middle of the bed to put his arms around Daisy.

She curled her arms up to her chest and moved into Jason's embrace. Daisy gave him a quick kiss on the lips, and then laid her head on Jason's chest. They intertwined their legs together. Jason felt content now, he was in a relaxed state.

"I'm sorry that I hurt you." Jason said. "Can you forgive me Daisy?"

Please forgive me. I need you to forgive me. You are my sanity. Without you… I'm afraid. I'm afraid of… the monster… I'm afraid of becoming the monster.

Daisy, my Daisy.

She nuzzled herself even closer to Jason and moved her head up to Jason's chin.

"Jason… of course I do." She said, as she reached out her slender arm and wrapped it around Jason's side.

She continued, "I know that the man I love would never hurt me. That wasn't you Jason. Your nightmare overwhelmed you, and you didn't know what you were doing."

Jason felt Daisy's soft blonde hair brush against the skin on his neck. He loved holding her. If he could, he would hold her in his arms forever and never let go.

"We will talk tomorrow after I come back home from work, okay?" Daisy asked.

"Yes, I want to talk to you. I always feel better when I tell you about my dreams. It really helps me." Jason stopped talking momentarily to lower his head and kiss the top of Daisy's head.

He lifted his head back and then resumed speaking.

"I'm meeting Liza tomorrow around twelve to get coffee, we both happened to be off work tomorrow. If it's alright with you, I'd like to tell her about my dream and what happened tonight." Jason said.

"Is that okay with you Daisy?" He asked.

"Yes, that's fine with me." She said. Jason could tell that she was drifting back to sleep.

"I want you to talk with Liza. I'm glad that you have her as a friend. Talking with her helps you, I notice that you usually feel better once you've told me or Liza what's troubling you." Daisy said.

"Thank you." Jason said. "Thank you for understanding. I'm happy when we're together."

Daisy purred in a sweet way. "I promised you, remember? I told you that you didn't ever have to sleep alone again. I'm here for you Jason. I'll always be here for you. I love you."

"We'll talk later, I promise." Daisy started. "But right now, I need to go back to sleep, I have to be at work in the morning. I'll kiss you goodbye before I leave tomorrow. I love you Jason."

Sleep also took a hold of Jason. He let his worry and his pain retreat back to the darkest dwelling of his mind. Now content, Jason's eyes began to close, and he let the world fade away as he fell into sleep.

"I love you too Daisy. Goodnight." He said.

I'll always love you, always, until my last day, I will love you Daisy.

Jason held on to Daisy throughout the duration of the night. He needed Daisy. She was the treatment to his insanity. When Daisy wasn't with him, he was afraid… afraid of the monster… of becoming the monster.

But not tonight. You won't become a monster tonight. Tonight, you're Jason… just Jason.

But… what about tomorrow night?

Who will you be tomorrow night?

/

To Be Continued

A/N: There will be more chapters in the future. I'm a busy person who works almost everyday, but I promise that I will finish this story. This story will get more interesting in future chapters. PLEASE NOTE, this will not be an "action-packed" story with Jason fighting bad guys or having gunfights. The only violence will be in Jason's memories/flashbacks or in one of his dreams. There will be an adventure in the story later on.

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