A Love So Secret
By BellaAlice4E!
(Disclaimer: I do NOT own Alice, Bella, Edward, or any of Stephanie Meyer's characters. I am only borrowing them for my own amusement. This is my first attempt at a fanfiction so please be kind and review...give me some advice :))
I shot up off the couch screaming. My brother Emmett ran over to me. He stopped in front of me and just watched me.
"She jumped!" I yelled as I turned to my other brother Edward. "Are you happy now? You had to push her didn't you? You bastard, she jumped!" I yelled as I punched his chest. He looked at me confused.
Esme came running down the hall and stopped before me. She grabbed me to stop me from hitting him anymore. Carlisle wasn't far behind her. Jasper and Rosalie just looked over at me.
"I have to go to her. I have to see if I can stop her. You, don't go near her at all. Edward, it's your fault. I saw her. She was hurting and you wouldn't see it. I told you months ago that she was hurting and you said this was for the best; that you had to do this to protect her. Did it ever occur to you that leaving may not have been the best option." I said as I grabbed my coat and keys and headed out the door.
I didn't even look back to see who all was following. I got in my car and drove off. I know it's going to take me a few days to get there but I could only hope that I can get there before she actually does it. Right now she is only thinking about it. This means she's already decided to do it but hasn't actually acted on it.
To give you a history, the 'she' I am referring to is Bella Swan. She moved to Forks, Washington her junior year and that's when my life changed. Though no one really knows anything about how it affected me. She fell in love with my brother Edward and him with her. She found out our secret and yet it didn't bother her. Which confused me but I got used to it after awhile. Of course I had to settle for the role of best friend even though the attraction I had towards her was stronger by far than that.
They spent a lot of time together and one night while we were playing baseball she met the harsher side of our kind in James, Laurant, and Victoria. They don't follow our code of ethics. They hunt human blood, we only hunt animal blood hence our camping trips. The leader of that coven turned out to be James, who is also a tracker and he picked up her scent and we had to get her out of there fast. He continued to hunt her and eventually almost caused her death. He tricked her into meeting him and he savagely beat her before feeding. Edward barely got there in time and he and Emmett destroyed James but only after Edward saved Bella's life by drawing the venom out of her hand where James had actually bit her.
After getting her to a hospital and making sure she was okay, Edward had decided that he was causing her more damage than he was worth and decided we should leave so she could lead a normal human life. I never got to say goodbye. This alone has torn at my heart from that moment. She has been in my dreams every night but mostly just desires and memories. This was the first time in a while that I saw her in 'real time' and I felt pulled to go back to Forks to save her. I don't think Edward has the right to be there so that is why I didn't wait for him. I know it was cruel to blame him but I have blamed him since the day we left. Now is no different.
I drove straight through. We don't sleep so I had no problems with getting tired driving. I got to that dreadful town three days after I left. That was the shortest I had made the trip from Alaska ever. I drove straight over to her house and saw that her truck was not there. I waited. Three hours later I heard the loud roar of her engine. My heart skipped a beat. I could feel my pulse quicken and if I did breath, my breathe would have came faster. I could smell her and her scent was intoxicating. I waited until she shut her truck off and then I opened my door and stepped out of my car.
"Oohhh…Alice you startled me. Why are you here? Is Victoria still in the area? Is Edward ok? Am I ok?" she rambled as she came up beside me.
I breathed her scent in deep and then I hugged her. She returned the hug and looked into my eyes. I could see the hurt that she tried to hide from the rest of the world. The pain and torment my brother caused her.
"Alice, are you ok?" she asked me softly.
"You haven't jumped?" Was all I could say?
"Jumped? Oh my god. You saw me jump? Is that why you're here?" she looked down and stepped back away from me. I saw the hurt building up in her eyes as they started to tear up. "You've been keeping up on me?" she asked quietly.
"No Bella. I wasn't watching you. I was lying on the couch and it hit me. I mean it hit me full force. I got up quickly and left, that was three days ago. I saw you broken and bloody and dying. Bella, I saw you die." I said sadly as I looked down so she wouldn't see the pain it cause me. Seeing it again in my memories tore at me even more, I saw her jump and hit and I saw broken bones, blood, and all I thought about was that I never got to tell her.
She walked back over to me and lifted my face with her warm hands. If I could cry the tears would be falling and she saw that.
"Alice, I'm sorry. I never thought about the fact that you'd see me. I can honestly say I forgot. Oh Alice, don't be sad. I promise I won't do anything foolish. Look at me and smile, please. I love your infectious smile. I hurt you and for that I will always be sorry."
"I love you Bella. I needed you to know that. No matter what happens I needed to be able to tell you. I should probably go now though. You're father will be home soon and I know how much he loves us Cullen's since my brother left you the way he did. Edward was a fool and always will be in my book. He broke your heart. You never deserved that. You deserved better. I am glad I got here before you jumped though. That would have tortured me for all eternity. Knowing that my brother caused you this much pain and forced you to make a decision that would take you away from me, I mean all of us forever." I pulled away from her and turned to leave.
I got to the door of my car when I felt her hand on my arm. I turned to look into her beautiful mahogany eyes and froze. She was crying. I actually made her cry. I never meant to make her cry.
"Alice, don't go please. Don't leave me again. I couldn't take it again. Edward leaving was one thing. But you left without evening say goodbye before and that hurt me more than anything. Yeah I was hurt because the first guy I ever fell in love with left me to deal alone but there was an ache that I had no control over and no way to relieve. You were gone. Alice I know I fell in love with Edward but I also fell in love with you. That was something that confused me because I had never in my life found myself attracted to another woman. I didn't know what to do or say. How was I supposed to tell my boyfriend that I was in love with his sister?"
Remember that ache I said she caused in my chest where my heart used to beat? Well that ache came back full force but this time it was not a sad ache. It was a sweet ache that I welcomed as I caressed her cheek. I could never leave her again. Her eyes were so full of love that I am surprised I never saw it before.
She placed her warm hand over mine as I held the side of her face and stared into her eyes. She slowly nodded to answer my unasked question. I moved her face closer to mine and when her lips touched mine I felt a kind of electrical connection that startled me. Along with the connection came the hunger. Not my unquenchable hunger for blood but my unquenchable hunger for her kiss. I could feel the desire in her kiss and her heartbeat quickened. I also felt her tongue slowly trying to penetrate my lips. This caused a low rumble deep in my chest that startled both of us.
I felt her arms go around my waist as she pulled me closer to her warm body. I could feel her tremble as the desire to be closer to me was unbearable to her. She whispered my name against my lips and leaned into me as I leaned onto my car. I wanted nothing more than to hold her all night. Yes I craved more but right now I would settle on just being able to hold her and love her. I knew she would let me. Bella was my light, and now she finally got to know that. I closed my eyes and held this image in my mind so that I would have it for all eternity. I was about to tell her how I had dreamt of this for months when I heard something down the road a ways. It was the unmistakable rumble of Edward's Volvo. I pulled away from her and she looked at me confused.
"He's coming." Was all I said.
"Edward's coming here? I don't want to see him. I'm not ready to deal with him. Did you see him as a vision or hear him?"
"I heard his car. He's only a few miles down the road. Hurry, get in the car. We'll get out of here. Is that ok? Will you go away with me?"
"Yes!" she exclaimed as I opened my car door for her and let her climb in. I climbed in behind her and started the car. Just as I pulled out of her driveway I saw his headlights. I took off in the opposite direction so that he wouldn't see my car. I also closed my mind off to him so he couldn't track me down.
We drove just down the block, I shut off my headlights and sat watching Bella's house. He pulled up in her driveway and without shutting his engine off he climbed out of the car and went to her door. He knocked repeatedly and when he got no answer he stormed off to his car and got in slamming the door shut. He gunned the engine and peeled out of her driveway. I had no idea where he would go from there. He flew by us without even realizing we were sitting there.
My cell rang. I looked at the caller id and saw that it was Esme, so I answered it.
"Yes, Esme, she's right here. I got here before she actually jumped. Yes I saw him. He just tore off down the road. She didn't want to see him right now so we drove down the road a bit and sat watching. He's pissed about something isn't he? No he can't pick up my thoughts right now. I didn't want to give us away. Why's he so angry? He WHAT? Oh my god. Then he knows. Yes I am sure. I'm sorry if you and Carlisle are disappointed in me. I had to tell her. Yeah she's right here, hold on." I said as I handed the phone to Bella.
"Yes, I'm ok Esme. I know. I won't even think about it again. I know I shouldn't have thought about it in the first place. I'm so sorry Esme. Where are you? You're on your way here? You want Alice and me to meet you at the house? Yeah, we can do that. Don't call Edward yet. Please Esme. Let me handle that part on my own. I'm not ready to see him. Thank you. We'll meet you there. You said in about an hour? Ok then, see you in an hour. Bye Esme." She said as she handed me back my phone. When my hand grazed hers it was magical.
I started my car and turned the headlights back on. I pulled out and headed back past Bella's house. As I drove on to my house I thought about the way her hand made me feel. I just wanted so badly to hold her close to me again. The feel of her perky breasts pressed against my chest and the way her kisses drove me mad made me want to just run away with her and never look back. I knew I couldn't though. By the time I reached the house I had replayed that first kiss so many times that whenever I closed my eyes it's all I saw. I was in heaven. She is my heaven.
I pulled up into the long driveway and stopped in front of the main door. Esme was standing in the doorway when we pulled up. She came running out and before I could get Bella's door open she threw it opened and pulled her out the car into a fierce hug. She hugged her so tight I thought Bella was going to suffocate.
"Bella, don't you ever scare me like that again. Do you understand me?" I never saw Esme this upset.
"Esme, I promise I will never think of doing anything like that again. I had a real eye opener tonight. You can thank Alice for that. Without her I don't know what I would have done or where I'd be. Esme I need to talk to you and Carlisle. No one else please, just the two of you. Alice, I think you need to talk to Jasper. Please." She said to me as I walked up beside her and Esme. I just nodded because of course she was right. Silly Bella, of course she's right. I followed her and Esme into the house. They went off to Carlisle's den and I grabbed Jasper by the arm and pulled him into the room we've shared for the past two years.
"Ali what's up? Why'd Edward storm off after you left? What happened with Bella? Is she ok?"
"Jasper, be quiet. I need to tell you something and I need you to sit down and listen. I also need you to not get angry with me because what I'm about to tell you I had no control over. Do you understand?"
He just walked over to the couch and sat down nodding that he understood what I was telling him. He looked up at me and waited.
"Jasper, you know I have loved you from the start right? I will always love you, but something has changed recently. I don't know if I've always been like this or if it's just this one instance. I've fallen in love with someone other than you and it pains me to tell you this. You are not only someone I love but you are also one of my dearest friends." I turned away before he could say anything to me. It really did hurt me to have to tell him. He actually surprised me though.
"I already knew you loved her Ali. Remember, I can influence emotions. Well, you seem to have forgotten that I can feel them too. I knew the first time you saw her you were attracted to her. I knew she loved Edward and yet there was a part of her that was attracted to our little pixie vampire. I knew it would only be a matter of time. I figured since I had all this time with you that it only seemed fair to let you explore your feelings on your own. I didn't know it would take this long though. I NEVER thought it would be under these circumstances. I am so sorry you had to see her hurting so much. You should have trusted me enough to talk to me about this. I could have helped. I know I just caught you by surprise. Thank you for talking to me though. Ali, I will always love you, you know that. I will not stand in the way of your happiness though. I would rather see you happy then have you with me if I'm not making you as happy as you deserve. I will always be here for you and I will always be your friend. Nothing could ever change that." He said as he stood up and walked over to me. He hugged me close and kissed my forehead. Then he walked out of our room.
I followed him out to see Esme and Carlisle coming out of his den. They were smiling. I wondered what Bella had said to them. They walked up to me and together they hugged me. I looked between them and saw Bella standing in the doorway. Jasper walked over to her and hugged her and whispered something in her ear. He did it so quietly that even I didn't hear him. She blushed but continued smiling.
"How are you going to explain this to Rose and Emmett? I don't see them having a problem but it may still shock them a little." Esme whispered in my ear. I just shrugged. I was actually more worried about telling Edward.
After Esme and Carlisle let me go and Jasper let Bella go I walked over to her and before I could say anything she pulled me into a hug and kissed me softly on the lips. If felt so right. I wrapped my arms around her small waist and pulled her as close to me as I could possible get her without crushing her. Her scent was driving me crazy. This time the rumble came from her throat. It was so subtle that I barely heard it. I had to pull away to make sure she was still breathing. Her eyes were so full of love that it still shocked me a little. Even Jasper's eyes never held that much emotion. Was it because she's still human?
"Alice, I need to tell you something. I want to tell you here in front of your family. Alice, I love you. I just needed to tell you that."
I looked into her eyes and saw that she was telling me the truth. She looked so angelic tonight and I could see what it was about her that attracted Edward to her. I looked at her and then I knew I had to be the one to tell him. I knew his temper. I also knew that weather he'd mean it or not, he might actually hurt her because she's still human. I looked at Esme and saw that she knew what I came to realize. Just then there was a loud crashing sound outside. I stood protectively in front of Bella while Carlisle went to the door to look outside. Just as he opened the door I could smell his anger. Edward was back.
I gently pushed Bella into Jasper's arms and looked into his eyes. He knew right away what was going on and he led her to our old room. Just as he got her in the doorway Edward crossed the threshold and glared at Carlisle as Carlisle backed away from the doorway. None of us had ever seen Edward this angry before. Rose and Emmett came running from their room. I didn't even know they were here.
"What the hell is going on out here? What's with all the noise and crashing Edward?" Emmett asked. Rose walked over to me and stood beside me. Esme went over to Carlisle and stood beside him.
"Where is she Alice? Is she alive? She didn't jump did she? Please tell me she's ok. I couldn't find her anywhere. Alice! Answer me!" he roared.
"She's fine Edward." Esme said. "Edward, she's ok. She's here. You're scaring her though."
"When did it start Alice? When did you go behind my back and seduce my girlfriend?" he looked at me this time. The anger was apparent in his black eyes. I couldn't let him near her. He hadn't fed. He was running on anger and thirst.
"I never seduced her Edward. I never even shared my feelings with her until tonight. You don't understand what it's like to see the one you love broken and bleeding and dying. I saw it. I could smell her blood. I could feel her pain and hurt. She thought she was alone in this world. I never even thought I'd tell her until I opened my mouth and the words just poured out. Edward, I am so sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen like this." I said.
Rose and Emmett both looked at me. Rose's eyes expressed her confusion. Emmett just smirked.
"So our little Alice fell in love with our brother's girlfriend. No wonder Edward is pissed. You know Edward; I won't let you go within ten feet of her right now. You are fueled with anger and you haven't fed for three days. You'd tear her apart before you ever realized what you were doing." Rose said forcefully. "I may not have been so open to her joining our little family but I would never let you hurt her again!"
Edward looked at Rose and then at myself. Before I could say anything he was back out the door and I heard his car roar to life. He speed out the driveway and no one was sure where he was heading.
I hurried to my room and found Bella sitting on my bed. Jasper looked at me and then smiled. He quietly left the room and shut the door behind himself. I walked over to Bella and sat down beside her. She looked up at me and I could see she was crying again. I wiped away her tears with my hand and pulled her to me.
"Bella, why are you crying? You didn't do anything wrong. You were never in danger. Did I do something wrong?"
"No, Alice. You didn't do anything wrong. I actually did. I am tearing your family apart again. Though I heard Rose and she actually shocked me. Alice, I love you and I want nothing more than to be with you, but I never wanted to hurt your family again. I seem to be good at that."
"No you're not. Actually everyone is happy for you and me except Edward. I don't know what's going on with him right now. All I know is I'm not losing you now. I can't. If that sounds selfish then I guess I'm selfish. I want you to be happy. I want us to be happy. You make me happy, Bella. You always have. Why do you think I was over at your house all those nights? To chaperone Charlie?" she laughed, "It was the only way I could be close to you."
She leaned into me more and let out a laugh. I love hearing her laugh. I put my arm around her waist and tickled her. She started giggling and squirming around. I stopped to let her catch her breath and she looked up at me. Her eyes were pleading with me again. She had some kind of spell over me because I could not deny her anything. I leaned closer to her face and softly kissed her nose. She wasn't expecting that and looked at me with a slight glare. I smile and kissed her lips. This time she was expecting it. She tasted so good. I found myself leaning into her more which was forcing her to lean back on my bed. I couldn't help it. I wanted so badly for her to touch me. I put my hand behind her head and gently lowered her to the bed so that her arms were free. She wrapped them around my neck pulling me closer to her lips as her mouth ate my kisses hungrily.
I could hear the others in the main room talking about what had happened but it still didn't stop me from kissing her luscious lips.
She stared into my eyes as she kissed me and I could swear I saw my soul in them. I stopped her for a moment and just stared at her.
"Alice is everything ok?" she asked but when I didn't respond she shook my arms a little.
That's when I realized I wasn't staring at her but seeing something else. I closed my eyes and the images bombarded me. I pulled myself away from her and sat up straight. When the visions stopped coming I opened my eyes again to see her staring at me confused.
"What did you see Alice? What happened?" she asked me with concern in her voice.
"We need to get out of here. I mean all of us. Something in Edward has snapped. He's coming back here and if he finds us all here he is going to attempt to…" I couldn't finish it.
"He's coming back here for me isn't he?" was all she asked.
"No he's coming here for me." I said. I tried to hide my fear but I knew she saw it.
"Alice, you're not telling me something. What happens?"
"We don't have much time. We have to leave. Now!" I said as I jumped off the bed. I grabbed her arm as gently as I could and pulled her to the door. I opened it to find Jasper on the other side. He had a concerned look on his face and he looked at me and Bella.
"Jasper, we have to leave. All of us, now! Edward's coming back and he still hasn't fed. I saw how angry he is. Trust me, we need to leave."
"He's our brother Alice, we can't just forget that. You go and get her out of here; we will stay and deal with him. One of us should be able to reason with him. Go." Jasper said as he led us out the house and to my car.
"Just be careful then Jasper. He is still angry and hurt. Please."
"I will. Now go. Take her home. Don't try to hide from him. It will only make him angrier and you know that. I will call you to let you know what's going on. Go."
Esme and Carlisle watched us leave from the doorway. Jasper had walked back up to them by the time I got to the end of the driveway. I got about a block from the house and Bella turned to me.
"Turn back. We can't keep running from him. Turn around and let me talk to him. He won't hurt me. He promised me that much and I still believe him. Please Alice, for me." She pleaded with me. So I did. I turned back around and by the time we reached the driveway he was getting out of his car.
"Edward. Stop. Please. Talk to me." Bella yelled as she climbed out of my car. I looked up in time to see Edward stop in mid-step. He turned and started walking over to Bella. Instinctively I wanted to protect her. I knew she would give me that look she had. The one that said 'don't worry, I'm ok'. So I stayed back and watched as my brother and his ex-girlfriend confronted each other. I was never more than a few feet away in case she did need me.
"Edward. I'm sorry."
"Bella, don't be. It's my fault. I see that now. I should never have pushed you away. I should never have left. I can't take that back now. God I wish I could but I know I will never be able to make that up to you. I want you to be happy Bella. If Alice makes you happy then I won't interrupt. I never should have gotten angry. I know I was terrified when I heard her say she saw you jump. Then I realized it was my fault. I sent you down that path and I can't handle the fact that I almost cost you your life. Please just know that no matter what happens now or in the future, that I will always love you. Please be happy Bella. You deserve that." He said as he walked closer to her. He put his arms around her and hugged her to him. "Isabella Marie Swan, we will always be friends. That much I want more than anything. If I can't have you as more than a friend I at least want you as a friend. Can you handle that? Can you be my friend?"
"Can you handle me being over here with Alice and not with you? Can you handle being around me and not having me? Because if you can handle that then I can handle being your friend." she said as she pulled away from him and walked over to me.
He watched her and nodded. I knew it would pain him at first, but that he would be able to separate from her. She stood beside me and reached for my hand. Her warmth surrounded me and I knew that this is where we belonged. She pulled my arm and led me back up to the house where Esme and Carlisle were still standing. They walked down to their son and wrapped their arms around him. I didn't dare look back. I knew if I did that I might not have the strength to keep Bella for myself.
We walked inside the house and went straight to my room. I noticed for the first time that all of Jasper's belongings were gone. Tonight I have destroyed not one but two of my brother's dreams. I did it all for Bella. I didn't regret it at all. How could I ever regret falling in love with her and wanting her? I closed my door and we sat on the bed. She turned to me and I welcomed her warm hug. In her arms everything was as it should be. Tonight I fell in love with her all over again. Tonight I for the first time in my eternal existence felt whole.