A/N: I'm still working in Heaven's Door, don't worry. I just wrote this, too. And I don't own Link or whoever. I just do horrible, horrible things to him. And also, thank you Katrani who hasn't made an account yet but is still my amazing beta.

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Silence filled the air like a stagnant puddle, his every footstep sending ripples over the surface. He trod slowly, quietly; daring not breathe too deep for fear something might come out of the long-abandoned chapel. Link squinted at the walls, covered in Ancient Hylian, indecipherable. A few steps forward and he was at the altar, where he paused, lowering his head reverently. Even abandoned, this was still a holy place, and he sent a quick prayer to the Goddesses before reaching out to take what he had come for.

His fingers brushed the golden chalice sitting in front of him. An electric shock went through him, and he recoiled. Shaken, he took a few deep breaths, shaking off the obvious booby trap. Maybe in times long gone it had been more effective. He set his jaw, lightly reaching out to the chalice again. This time nothing happened, and he tucked it under his elbow and turned. He began to stride out, less concerned with the unmoving air than he had been. There had only been one trap, which was pretty good if you asked him. He was used to many more.

A few more steps over the threshold and he would be back on Epona, riding back into civilization proper. He smiled a little, thinking of what he might do next. This chalice would hold him over for a while, but a treasure hunter's work was never done. As he stepped out into the bright afternoon heat, he frowned a little. He must be more tired than he had originally thought; his steps were slowed. He shrugged it off, striding increasingly slower over to Epona. He sluggishly reached up to brace his arms on her saddle, but found he could not lift his arms high enough. Alarmed, he tried taking a deep breath to make the strange effect pass, but his chest was tight. His hands wavered in his vision, his sight fuzzy and exhausted. Slowly closing his eyes, he absently decided on a nap and collapsed to the ground limply.

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Blearily, his eyes opened later to the most unpleasantly bright sky above his head. Epona cast a shadow over part of his face, nibbling at his sleeve. Laughing exhaustedly, he tried to sit up, finding he was exhausted and sore. That booby-trap, maybe, and the shock had a delayed effect? He sat there for a minute, fingers slowly stroking Epona's forehead, as he tried to think through the pounding in his head. Something was amiss, he felt it, something beyond collapsing and waking up so criminally sore. But he just couldn't think…

He stood, groaning. His voice cracked and came out in a hoarse whisper as he absently complained to Epona out loud. He picked up the chalice lying on the ground, tucking it into his saddlebag. Wavering, he stood for a minute regaining his balance until he finally pulled himself onto his saddle clumsily. He nudged Epona into a walk, as he guided her out of the secluded valley. Once out into the open plains, he kicked her into a canter, feeling a little less dizzy. Still, something was amiss. Something with the riding, maybe.

Something about him… Something…

It came to him in a flash and he pulled on Epona's reins a little too harshly, pulling her into a panicked half-rear of a stop. He held on out of instinct, still staring down at his chest.

He sat like that, staring, for a while, with a half-shocked, half-annoyed expression on his face. Tentatively, he reached up his right hand, poking at his chest. Why on Earth were there… fleshy… girl… part… things… He jumped down from Epona. Slowly padding over to a tree, he pulled off his tunic and undertunic in a moment. Yes, that was definitely new. He still didn't quite register them, instead just staring in absolute shock. Even more reluctantly, he stripped off his hose. He realized his chest wasn't the only thing that had changed. That was… troublesome. To say the least. He blinked a few times, wondering just what had happened at the chapel. Most others would be inclined to think it was a dream, but Link wasn't sure his dream self could make the more feminine him so… realistic. Slowly, he pulled his clothes back on, noticing they fit strangely. They were looser in the legs, and obviously in the crotch, but stretched a little at the hips. His tunic and undertunic fit very loosely, and he regretfully noted the loss of muscle mass he'd undertaken. Why was that his concern? The mind certainly wandered to the strangest things. He ignored the tightness in his chest area.

Sitting down against the tree, he tried to think things through. He could go back to the church… Maybe there was something there to combat this. Absently, he realized the irony of a chalice being his downfall. Perhaps a dagger would change him back. He shook his head, too overwhelmed to be making jokes. He stood, noticing how his hands were smaller, rounder now. Yes, he certainly was a girl now. Still, he reasoned, this could be changed back. Climbing back on Epona, he walked her back to the chapel, careful not to go at any sort of… bouncy… gait. He was distressed enough.

He searched the church, finding no convenient levers or secret dungeons. Maybe this was an ancient curse. Maybe this was done by someone smarter than most of them who had designed his previous temple excursions. Maybe he should go see someone else about this… Considering those he knew, he realized Zelda would probably be a good choice. She was a Sage; she could do funny magic and change him back. Plus, she was less likely to make fun of him than some others he knew were…

Regretfully realizing he had to hurry to get there before nightfall, he kicked Epona into a gallop, cringing. His chest bounced helplessly. Link decided, quickly, that being a girl was probably the worst thing ever to happen to him, Like-Likes stripping him of his clothes included. Actually, maybe not, considering ReDeads and Gibdos… but still. He held the reins with his left hand, clamping his chest down with his right arm. He pouted all the way to Castle Town, which was quite a ways away. With all this time to think, he came to the conclusion that he would have to sneak into the castle, though he had done that before. He would ask Zelda for help, and she would change him back, and all this embarrassment would be gone soon. Maybe she would be the only one to know.

After a painfully long ride, he could see Castle Town, and the silhouette of Hyrule Castle. He slowed to a stop, considering his next course of action. Damn, it wasn't quite dark yet, and even then he didn't really want to risk going through the city. But there was no way around it. If only he could get past it…

A thought occurred to him, and he pulled out his ocarina. He dismounted Epona, giving her an affectionate pat before playing the Prelude of Light, and, in a flash of yellowish light, was whisked away to the Temple of Time. Teleporting always gave him a funny feeling in the pit of his stomach, though he wasn't sure how he knew it was his stomach, as he was currently a bunch of yellow sparkly things. He'd never really thought about that… But before he had time to figure that out, he had appeared back in the Temple, bracing his legs against the floor so he didn't tumble down. There was nobody in the Temple, not that anyone would ever be. He strode over to the exit, cautiously darting outside. He looked around, seeing no one, and ran out of the square in front of the Temple—arms firmly braced against his chest—and jumped off the ledge, avoiding the stairs. He darted behind the small row of houses, making sure there was nobody nearby, then ran down the path to the castle.

He looked around, watching the guards. He had always taken the longer route as a child, but now he decided to use his hookshot, which he pulled out, to get up. He shot it at the nearest tree, pulling himself over the low cliff. Keeping close to the edge of the grounds, he ran forward, arm still clamped against his chest, wincing as he could still feel those things on him. He carefully sneaked behind the guard by the moat, and clambered up onto the ledge above it. Aiming the hookshot carefully, he launched it, pulling himself onto the rampart. He paused, envisioning the castle from the inside, remembering where Zelda's room was. He scanned the façade before him, deciding it was the window directly in front of him. One more hookshot and he was there, climbing into the window.

He heard a shriek and a clatter as he climbed in, and Link apologetically extended a hand. "S-Sorry, Zelda!" he said quickly, then regretted speaking at all. Even his voice was girly now. Zelda stepped forward, her blonde hair undone and wearing a simple nightgown. She looked at Link's face curiously, then her eyes traveled downwards. Link winced as her face moved into shock.

"Uh, Link?" she said, quietly, voice bordering on amusement. "What exactly happened to you?"

He closed his eyes, bringing his hand to his face. "Well, long story short, I think I tried to move the wrong artifact. You see, there was this golden chalice, and it shocked me with magic or something, and then I took it out of the chapel, and I passed out and then…" He trailed off, gesturing to his chest. "This."

She looked in his eyes seriously, but her mouth betrayed her amusement. Still, she put forth a brave effort to not laugh and said, "So you're a girl?" She looked him over, mouth in a determined line.

He sighed and nodded. Zelda held back for a few moments more before bursting into laughter. Link stood there, cheeks burning, watching as she had to lean against her bed for support, she was laughing so hard. He shifted his feet uncomfortably. Finally she wiped the corners of her eyes, straightening.

"Ah, I haven't had anything that funny happen in a long time," she said, shaking her head regretfully. Link just rolled his eyes. She became more serious then, taking on her usual air of importance. Link always felt privileged to see her as she really was, without the royal front, but maybe her laughing at his expense wasn't the best way to get her defenses down. She looked him over again, thinking. "So you obviously want this fixed, and you came to me because I am a Sage, correct?" she said, and Link nodded. She grimaced. "I'm really not sure how to do this. It all depends on how deep the change was. If it just morphed your regular male body, I could probably change it back, but…"

Alarmed, Link stepped forward. "But what?"

She smiled gently. "Only if they completely erased the male body and replaced it with female. But that's an awful lot of work, and I doubt a simple booby trap would have that complex a spell." She sat on the bed, patting the pale purple sheets next to her. Link sat. She closed her eyes, hands resting lightly on his shoulders; Link could feel some sort of aura around her, though not really see it. In the back of his mind, he was aware she was probing at him, so he closed his eyes too, letting his mind wander to her presence. She was like a warm fog in his consciousness, flowing around, poking at the edges of his brain. He smiled contentedly. Zelda was probably the only one he would trust to go looking around in there.

After a few minutes, Zelda retracted out, and the two opened their eyes at the same time. She looked worried, which made Link worried, and soon they were both looking worriedly at each other in a big orgy of worry. "Well, Link?" Zelda said quietly, and he knew it would not be good.

He nodded slowly. "It's not good."

She grimaced. "No, it's not. Not only did they seemingly replace your male body with an entirely female one, but I can't even detect the traces of the magic that should be there. This was quality work," she whispered. Outside, the sun had set and the room was almost completely dark. Link sat, quietly thinking over what she had said.

In a barely audible whisper, he asked, "So can I go back?"

She put a hand on his, her soft-skinned thumb rubbing tiny circles on the back of his hand. "I don't know. But it's beyond my power to change you back," she said softly. He looked down, watching her pale skinned hand glow subtly in the almost gone light.

He felt a little bit like crying. "What am I going to do?" he asked, voice cracking a tiny bit. She looked up at him, blue eyes meeting blue, and smiled suddenly.

"I know!" she said cheerfully, jumping up. The quiet mood was broken, and Link was right back to being worried. If Zelda was cheerful now, and had an idea… She disappeared into a side room, leaving Link still sitting, dazed.

She came back—and he knew this was a bad idea to visit her first. "Now Zelda, just because I'm a gi-" Link began, but was cut off by her assault. She attacked him, and his only defense was to occasionally mutter words of protest because, after all, she was a lady and he was obligated to obey her.

After what seemed like ages, Link looked down at himself. He was covered in blue linen, all ruffly and girly and awful on his newly female body. He looked up, distressed, at Zelda, who only smiled. She then grabbed his shoulders, forcing him to sit on her dresser stool. Fuming, he was forced to sit complacently as she pulled his hair up and back into various intricate styles until she finally settled on one. But it was only when she reached for the makeup did Link finally put his foot down.

"Zelda! Come on!" he said, trying as best he could to sound firm. "I don't think this is the best way to change me back to my real gender." She looked hurt.

"But you're only going to be a girl for a little while, so I figured I'd have a little fun with you!" she said, blue eyes looking up at him widely. He stood, fingering at the collar of the dress.

"How am I supposed to take this off?" he muttered, trying to struggle out of the long, flowing sleeves. Zelda looked at him regretfully then reached forward, unlacing the bodice on the front. Link relaxed a bit under her slender hands. She pulled the bodice off of him, then unfastened the button at the top of the dress. Their eyes met as she stripped it off of him, both of them full of regret. She pulled off the rest of the clothing swiftly, pausing as Link was left in only a breast band. Link closed his eyes, heat flushing his face, as she handed him back his regular clothes.

In silence he redressed, then thanked her for the breast band, which was definitely a help. She giggled, then reached out and let down his hair, which was now completely loose. He held his cap in his hands. She looked at him encouragingly, urging him to go visit the Great Fairy on the castle grounds. She promised to call off the guards, and disappeared out of her room for a few minutes. When she returned, she bid Link to go back out the way he'd came and, in as much silence as he had arrived, he once again disappeared out the window.