Fleeting thoughts

Italics-thoughts

Disclaimer: I dont own teen idol

Author's note: I'm not sure ift his should be a one-shot or not so plz review on it and tell me if I should write the next part or not. Try to be nice ok

'Oh man it's raining again' I couldn't help but frown at the weather outside it was so dreary and depressing.

"Jen! I have an emergency meeting to attend too and I won't be home till later, I left dinner in the oven for you so just heat it up" hollered my mother, standing up from my current position by the window I made my way to where my mom was.

"What time will you and dad be getting home?"

"Sorry honey I won't be home till later, you're father is also working late so don't wait up for us ok? And remember you're brothers are sleeping over at their friends house"

Well there really wasn't much to say to her,I can't exactly say no you better be home around so and so that was just absurd.

Nodding my head like I good girl, I ushered my mother out. Finally when she had left I locked the door and made my way to the living room and plopped myself down onto the couch and sat there staring at the wall.

'Maybe I should call Trina?' with that in mind, I reached for my cell phone in my pocket and called her.

Ring ring ring

I'm sorry the number you've have dialed is unavailable please try you're call again

'Where could she be? During my time of need!' glancing at the house next door I decided to call her later.

I'm not going to lie to anybody since it takes so much work to even think of a lie. The reason why I needed to speak to Trina badly was because of how I felt about what happened. Looking towards the window I could tell that the weather had not gotten any better actually it looked worse.

'I guess I'll go for a walk, it's better than staying at home doing nothing' Getting up I made my way to the closet grabbed my rain jacket after slipping my shoes on I exited the house, but not before looking up of course.

Walking outside I realize exactly how bad the weather was but I chose to ignore it. Too many thoughts were running through my brain and it seemed like I would never be able to figure out the answers. Eventually I had reached my destination which was a cafe near by that and just opened. It was fairly new and unpopular but I found it adorable and quant.

'ohh geez I only realize now that I forgot my umbrella' I couldn't help but laugh at my forgetfulness.

Upon entering the cafe, I was hit by a gust of warm air. It was most welcoming, since it was cold outside. Finally I made my way to any empty seat and sat down; it was fairly easy though to procure one since the cafe was empty.

'I must be the only person crazy enough to walk in this weather'

A kind looking woman came by toward my seat and gave me a cup of tea while offering me a smile; I couldn't help but smile back.

"Here you go love, it seems quite cold outside and to be traveling in this weather, I don't think it was a very wise decision especially without an umbrella"

"Thank you"

"May I ask you a question dear?"

I stared at the woman for a few seconds before nodding my head.

"You seem really sad, what could be the matter?"

It was a very uncomfortable question, if I do say so myself so I did what any other person would do in my situation I took a sip from my tea cup.

"Ohh, it's alright to tell me you know its not very good to keep you're emotions to yourself dear and since I don't know you and you don't know me there's no one to tell"

'She was right I mean who would she tell?'

"Sure, please have a seat then" I gestured to the empty seat in front of me. Closing my eyes for a moment I thought of where to begin and finally I figured it out.

"My boyfriend just broke up with me and the sad part is I completely understand him." I said with a sigh, the woman in front of me just patted my hand and urged me to continue.

"He told me that, he couldn't love me and that we had to break up. Of course I didn't listen to the rest of his explanation since I ran away from him sobbing" pausing for a moment I stared at the woman in front of me and hoped she wasn't getting bored, before I continued.

"For the next week I ignored and avoided him but finally one day he caught me by my wrist and told me that he needed to talk to me. He told me that he loved me but he couldn't love me the way he wanted to, and that he was moving away. Moving back with his mother but the catch was that his mother had moved to Toronto Canada. The distance was too far and he felt that we needed to break up."

Looking down into my tea cup I avoided the woman's gaze as hot tears stained the table.

"He said that he loved me very much but as a sister and that after this past year of dating he felt that he only loved me as a brother would love his younger sister. He didn't want to lead me on even after he moved so he broke up with me"

"I'm sorry to hear that dear, you must be heart broken" she said sympathetically.

"He's gone now but I feel so..." I trailed off unable to finish the sentence.

"I completely understand dear it must be hard to hear that from him but I suppose you can learnt to find a new love." shaking my head quickly I explained.

"You don't understand, I'm not crying because I'm sad it's because I'm guilty" I murmured softly.

Gazing up toward the woman I could tell that she was utterly confused.

"Did you cheat on him?" she asked

Again I shook my head

"I'm crying because he was right, when me and him were together I thought that if he were ever to leave me I would die of sadness and that I would never be able to smile without him but now that he's gone I feel like I lost a dear friend instead of my boyfriend" it was silent for a moment before I began to speak again.

"I feel like everything I told was a lie, like my feelings for him was all a lie. I'm a fraud" I couldn't bear to look at her, but she spoke to me in a gentle voice.

"You're not a fraud, since both of you agreed to be with each other it was just that in the end you both realized it wasn't right" again silence had fallen upon us.

"Come on dear just smile for me" looking up towards I mustered up the best smile I could.

"Now tell me who is it that you love?"

"No one" she looked at me rather unconvinced

"I used to play this game with my sister when I was younger would you like to play maybe you'll discover something" she had this twinkle in her eyes and it sounded fun so I agreed.

"Close you're eyes" she instructed, I simply nodded my head.

"Now when I saw a word the first thing that comes in you're mind focus on it understand?" I nodded my head again.

"Lover" she said. At that moment an image formed in my head without hesitation and soon realization dawned me or close to realizing because at that moment all I wanted to do was deny,deny,and deny. Snapping my eyes open I couldn't help but stare at my tea cup with horror.

"Thank you for you're time but I really need to get going" the woman gave me a knowing smile as I exited.

'It's still raining' eventually I finally reached home, after taking a quick shower I found myself on the couch again.

Ring ring ring

'Could it be? No it couldn't, but maybe' swiftly I answered the phone

"Hello" said the voice

"Trina"

"Hey Jen, I saw on my caller I.D that you called"

"Yea, I did"

"Alright, so what's up?"

"Nothing much I was just bored"

"And are you still bored?"

"Nope, actually I'm busy right now I'll I.M you later Trina"

"K, bye"

"Bye" I'm not sure why I didn't tell Trina how I felt or what I realized. I guess I needed time to think about it.

"It's not true" I said quietly to myself

Reaching for the control of the TV and flipped it on, and the first thing I saw was his face.

"Luke"

It was silly to think I was in love with him I mean I'm supposed to be the sensible one here but the more I thought about it the more I felt jealous of Geri. She was loved by him very much since I had seen the presents and displays of affection he had shown her.

"Jen stop!, get a grip they're in love and you're not going to steal that away from them you're their friend so stop" I murmured to myself.

Still I couldn't help but gaze at the TV, his blue still shone beautifully as when I had last seen them. The last time I saw him was at spring fling he was my date but that night he ended up kissing Geri and I ended up kissing Scott.

'I wish I was in love with Scott' I tried but it didn't work, me and him it didn't work out. Still I couldn't help but feel mad, when Geri had broken up with Scott she was crying like crazy in the washroom that he and she were over but when she found out that Lucas Smith was actually Luke Striker she immediately got over him like the time they spent together was nothing.

'Stop, thinking Jen!!' but I couldn't stop thinking about it. We all had thought Geri and Scott were in love, and that if they had ever broken up it would take her months to get over him but it only took her a few minutes. I didn't want that to happen to Luke.

"I'm going to take a nap" it was a desperate attempt to stop thinking about this whole Luke and Geri thing. Trudging up the stairs I made my way to the room and lay down on my bed. Glancing at the clock I found that it was only 6.pm but I needed a distraction. I lay there for a few minutes when I heard a chirping noise, looking out the window I saw a little bird sitting there.

"Little bird I'll tell you a secret" it was silly speaking to a bird but hey I was bored. It chirped back as if saying yes to my question. I couldn't help but smile; I had always done this when I was small.

"Well little bird I think I'm in love with Luke Striker" and with that the bird chirped happily and flew away.

Now don't get any idea's because it was an "I think" not "I am" but still the only who knew my secret was that little bird and I planned to keep it that way. I had done what any good friend would do in my situation I hid that "I think" away.

So what did you think? review plz so I know what to do lol