A/N: I wrote this as a silly one shot of how the Doctor might finally admit his feelings to Rose. Journey's End fix it. It should be noted that in this timeline the Metacrisis never occurred and Rose stayed with the Doctor after the second Bad Wolf Bay. If you have time to drop a review to let me know what you think, I would really appreciate it. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who
She had been back for a week, a whole WEEK, and he still hadn't told her yet. He had promised himself that if he EVER got the chance to tell her that he wouldn't miss a beat. Yet here he was, piddling away every opportunity, wasting every chance, completely and utterly botching things up in every way a daft old Time Lord could. It wasn't that he didn't want to tell her. He did… Oh he did. He longed to utter those words to her. He had dreamt of it time and again, pulling her close whilst cupping her soft cheek, looking into those dark brown eyes, and whispering those oh so important words to her. He had been a cowardly fool in the past. Oh, she knows, he had said. Yes, it was very likely that she did know how he felt. But he needed, wanted to say it out loud for her to hear.
It wasn't just because she had told him. There was no sense of responsibility or obligation with this. It was the sheer and utter fact that he could. That he did. For so long she had been lost to him, trapped, locked away in another dimension, never to return. Then something quite impossible happened. She returned and they, along with so many of their friends, had fought to save the world together. After leaving behind her parents and little brother, the Doctor alone was her family now. Welllll, she had friends. They both had friends, together. Yes, together. That's how they belonged. He knew she wanted to hear those words from him. He could see it in her eyes plain as day. So WHY hadn't he told her?!
The Doctor paced the console room, mumbling to himself. Rose was fast asleep in her bedroom, having retired for the "night" a few hours before. He knew this because he had stayed with her while she fell asleep, spooning her from behind and holding her warm body close to his. Bloody hell, she had smelled amazing. So wonderful, so lovely, so Rose. He had missed her more than words could convey. He longed to express his feelings in a more physical way with long, closely held embraces and whispered affections, deep, passionate kisses that seemed to go on for hours as he moved his fingers over her incredibly soft skin. He craved her touch, her the feel of her skin on his...yearned to taste the sweetness of her kiss. And he knew that she wanted it, too. It wasn't that he was being a presumptuous git. She had been sending him signals, and he was receiving them loud and clear. Yet, he still hadn't done a thing about it!
It came down to the fact that he was scared. No, not scared. Petrified. He had just gotten her back through impossible circumstances. Their story had almost been over without a proper ending. They weren't going to get their Forever. However, by some bloody fucking miracle upon miracles, she had come back to him, and she stayed. They were getting another chance at forever, and he refused to waste it. But what if he screwed up? What if some catastrophic thing happened to tear them apart? What if he said everything all wrong and she was so put off by him that she wanted to leave straight away and never talk to him again? Okay, so the latter was very rather unlikely, as he had said some pretty rude things over time and Rose had always forgiven him.
The Doctor knew that he had to tell her, today in fact. As soon as she woke up. Welllll, he best let her have her cuppa first or he might be losing his head. Rose Tyler was definitely not a morning person. She was so truly human with her fondness for sleep, and a lot of it. Rather, it felt like a lot to him. Mind you, he didn't require much sleep. Superior Time Lord biology and all. He spent many of his hours without her tinkering, researching, reading in the library. It was taking everything within himself to not bolt to her room this very moment to wake her with proclamations of his undying love for her. He wanted to say loud and proud, for all to hear. He, The Doctor, last of the Time Lords, was in love with a human, one Rose Tyler. The fantastic Rose Tyler, Defender of Earth. He grinned to himself thinking about her. Sighing and leaning back against the console, his eyes drifted up to the coral struts. Rose loved those struts. Sometimes she sat up on one, always with a warning from him to be careful.
He thought of how she she rolled her eyes at his warning, then flashing him her signature tongue in teeth smile. She was very cheeky. Oh was she ever, he thought to himself, grinning from ear to ear. He loved that about her, though. Rose was always good for a laugh. Weeeell she was good for far more than that. In fact he could think of quite a number of things that would be good involving Rose Tyler, great things, wonderful things, and some of them were downright scandalous…
The Doctor audibly cleared his throat at the last batch of thoughts, loosening his tie a little as a wave of warmth washed over him. While most of the time he rather be in Rose's company, he was quite glad she wasn't here at the moment. Were she present, she would see that he was blushing quite profusely, and would likely question it. That would open up a whole other set of thoughts and ideas that he wasn't quite ready to breach just yet. He had to get the feelings part solved first! But how?
She had crossed from a parallel world for him, risking life and is amazing woman had unabashedly declared her love for him, and since made it known that she still felt the same. Now here he was chock full of worry that he wasn't going to get it right. All that worrying had gotten him exactly here- still hemming and hawing over how/when/where to tell her. There was no 'why'. Above all else, he most assuredly knew the answer to that. The rest of it, he needed to figure out and quickly.
For the next three hours he planned, and mulled, and debated. There were so many places he could take her. He considered Women Wept, she had loved it there. Or there was the place where she had first promised him forever. He also briefly considered going back to where they first met, when he took her hand and said "Run". Bit that would be a bit weird, wouldn't it? Outside of what was formerly a department store, especially in the basement. Oh, it was so hard! Was it really that important how or where he told her? Or was he just stalling again? He found himself slumped on the jumpseat, no better off than when he first started this ruddy process.
Since when did he plan out things so extensively anyway? Nearly his whole life had been a series of last minute ideas, especially since he left Gallifrey. If there was one thing the Doctor could do well it was thinking on the fly. That was it. He made a decision. He would tell Rose immediately. RIGHT NOW, in fact! Springing to his feet, he exited the control room and jogged down the corridor toward Rose's room. This was it. He was finally going to tell her! The excitement welled up inside him until he practically felt like he was going to burst. It was hard not to break into an all-out sprint. But he was also nervous, so so nervous! He wasn't used to be being nervous.
The Doctor came to a skidding halt when he got to her door, practically slamming into it. Steadying himself on the frame of Rose's bedroom door, he debated on whether or not he should knock. Ah, bloody hell, screw it! It was now or never! He burst into the room with all the gusto he could muster and exclaimed loud and clear.
"Rose Tyler, I love you!" he practically shouted.
Suddenly there was a gasp and panicked breathing. A light clicked on, brightening the room. A very confused and sleepy Rose was sitting up in bed, squinting at him.
"Doctor?" she said questioned, looking bewildered. "What's going on?"
"Oh, right. You were sleeping. Sorry about that! That was a bit of a rude awakening. Guess I'll just..er…," he said quite awkwardly, turning on his heels to leave and escape the room.
"Wait! Did you just...did you say what I think you said?" she asked, his declaration just setting in. He turned around slowly and looked at her, wide eyed. Yup, she was definitely more awake now.
Swallowing thickly, he nodded, clearing his throat a little. "Why yes, Rose, I did. I said, or rather shouted I suppose, that I love you. And I do indeed. Very much, in fact."
It was then that her face broke out in the biggest grin he had seen on her face in a long time. She held out her arms to him and beckoned him to her.
"C'mere you," she said softly, wiggling her fingers at him.
He didn't need to be told twice. He practically leaped onto the bed and scrambled up toward her. The Doctor fell into her open arms, encasing her with his own and pulling her to him. They embraced, laughing and rolling together over the top of the bed. Finally, he sat up and pulled her to him until she settled in his lap. Resting her forehead against his, their eyes met again.
"I love you, my Doctor," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. He looked back at her, seeing all of the love and adoration shining in them. His breath caught in his throat for a moment as he took in her beauty. Her fingers caressed over his cheek as they gazed at each other, both smiling.
The Doctor wasted no time in closing the distance between them, his lips finding hers. The kiss was gentle at first, sweet and endearing, but then he deepened it, all of the fire and passion he felt for her bubbling to the surface. She moaned softly when he caught her bottom lip between his teeth, teasing it a little with his tongue. Her fingers dove into his hair, pulling at the long strands just slightly, sending him into a impassioned frenzy. He trailed kisses down to her jawline until he his lips found her neck. Rose gasped as he nipped at her between soft kisses, his hands spread over her back as he pulled her closer. He groaned as her hips instinctively thrust forward, pressing into his own. There was no stopping them, all of their pent up emotion boiling over as they came together. Their exploration of one another went on for some time before they actually came up for air.
They spent the next several hours in bed, discovering one another in a whole new way, reveling in their newfound closeness. When their bodies had grown tired and desires were momentarily sated, they curled up beneath the duvet, their bare forms nestled close together. While things hadn't gone exactly as he had pictured them, the Doctor was quite content with how they had worked out. He could hear the gentle rhythm of Rose's breathing as she slept, recounting what had just happened. He loved this woman, so very very much. Despite the fact that it had taken him so long, he was so very glad that he finally told her.