Black Magic Woman
Spoilers- up to Season 6 'Once More With Feeling'
Disclaimer- The characters, etc. don't belong to me, they were created by Joss.
Note- The title is taken from the Santana song, which inspired the fic.
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Tara bit her lip as she looked over at Willow, desperately trying to keep herself from breaking into great sobs. She knew that Willow was doing too much magic, but if there was one thing she could have sworn that Willow wouldn't do, it was play with her mind using magic, especially after everything that happened with Glory. Willow knew that she still had nightmares about that sometimes. She would wake up screaming and crying and Willow would pull her into her arms and cry with her, telling her that everything was okay and that she would always find her no matter what. But now Willow had done this and Tara didn't know how she could think it was okay, let alone actually do it to the person that she loved. Tara loved Willow, but she didn't know if she could ever really forgive her.
She had been overlooking so much; she had purposely made herself blind to a lot of what Willow had been doing. But there were a few things that had made her open her eyes, the spell to resurrect Buffy had been one; watching Willow suffer, getting her arms and face slashed and have a snake move under her skin before coming out her mouth had scared the hell out of her, figuratively of course. She knew Willow kept saying that she didn't have a problem. What she didn't know was if Willow actually believed that, or if she kept saying it to convince herself that she was fine. Willow kept saying that she was in perfect control of her use of magic, and that Tara was just being a worrywart and that she should lighten up.
Magic had brought them together, and now it was tearing them apart. Tara could still remember how Willow had looked when she first saw her in that wannabe wiccan group. Willow had looked so beautiful and powerful and when she spoke about casting actual spells, Tara knew that she was someone that she really wanted to get to know. Her crush on Willow had just intensified when they had joined their power to push the vending machine against the door to stop the Gentlemen from attacking them. Neither of them had spoken of their attraction, even though they both knew it was there and their touches had gotten bolder, going from tentative, friendly, minimal touches to longer, less tentative caresses. They had even shared a few kisses under the guise of friendship, but then one day it had passed the stage of what they could ever call simple friendship and they couldn't deny their feelings anymore. Tara could have sworn that her heart had broke in two when she saw the expression on Willow's face when they turned to find Oz standing in the doorway of Giles's apartment. But Willow had chosen her, and for the first time since her mother died, Tara had felt special and loved. Back then magic had been something exciting, something they had in common, something that connected them in a way that nothing else could. But now magic was the source of all their arguments, and they were arguing all the time.
Tara knew that she should leave. If she stayed Willow would just continue thinking that Tara wasn't as serious in her objections as she was. Maybe if she left it would give Willow the push that she needed to get her magic use under control. But Willow was her everything, she was her family, her heart, her reason for living and fighting. The only reason that Tara had stayed in Sunnydale for so long was because Willow was here, otherwise she would have moved a long time ago, trying to escape from her father and brother. It wasn't until she had met Willow that she had made any real friends; all through high school she had been that weird psycho pep squad girl. It was because of Willow and the rest of the Scooby gang that she was the person she was today.
Could she really leave Willow? Tara looked at Willow out the corner of her eye, noting the way her bottom lip trembled and her hands clutched at the ragged pillow. Tara was hurt, there was no doubting that, it had hurt her more deeply then Willow would ever realize that she could have messed with her mind like. But her love for Willow was still there, burning inside her like that extra flame-y candle. She needed Willow, much more than she needed magic. If she had to give up magic to save Willow's life, or to save their relationship, then she would, without hesitation, but could Willow? Willow could say whatever she wanted but when it came down to it could she do it? Did she need Tara as much as Tara needed her?
Tara sighed, she just didn't know.
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End.