Just a lil songfic I came up with…
Jacob angst
Walked away, heard them say
"Poison hearts will never change, walk away again"
Turned away in disgrace
Felt the chill upon my face cooling from within
It's hard to notice gleaming from the sky
When you're staring at the cracks
It's hard to notice what is passing by with eyes lowered
You... walked away, heard them say
"Poisoned hearts will never change, walk away again"
All the cracks, they lead right to me
And all the cracks will crawl right through me
All the cracks, they lead right to me
And all the cracks will crawl right through me, and I fell apart
As I... walked away, heard them say
"Poisoned hearts will never change"
Walked away again
Turned away in disgrace
Felt the chill upon my face cooling from within --The leaving song By AFI (really beautiful song by the way)
Jacob POV
I remembered the time when Bella came to me broken and depressed. Her face so sullen, how with her eyes lowered, she looked at me for the first time. I walked out on all of that because of him, his cold touch had frozen my heart over.
I remembered the day she had to tell me goodbye. How she looked like she shattered. Those cracks would be there forever etched into her heart, replacing the ones I helped heal. I walked out on all of them, the pack, Bella, even Charlie. I never considered how much he'd need me and my dad after…Bella died.
I remembered all the nights, especially the last time she came to the bonfire with the pack and I. The smile on her face, and the gleaming in her eye. As she looked up at the stars, content. The peaceful look on her face as she dreamt.
I remembered the vacant look on her face the first few weeks, and when I couldn't tell her my little "problem". I regretted that, maybe if I'd been more honest with her. No, I told her how I truly felt, and she still chose him. He iced over her heart, poisoned it, with a poison I don't know the antidote to.
I remembered how we used to talk, how her face used to light up every time she saw me. I remembered how she used to look conflicted after he came back, when she was with me.
I guess it's right to walk out of her life, I won't be causing her anymore pain, any more confliction. As I thought this, something inside me broke, and I felt as if my heart had shattered into a million pieces, each of them going a different direction, ripping though my chest. I'm falling apart. Can't I just die now? Slipping through the cracks of Bella's life is enough to make me wish for death.