A\N: I hate tampons. And Summer and Tenaya belong together! Forever! Down with Tiggy! (Tenaya-Ziggy--it deserves the flowery name from hell. That was the best I could come up with.)
Tenaya was not human.
Certainly, she felt...attraction...for Summer. She was designed to appear human. And she hated Ziggy with a passion, thanks to the Green Ranger's tendency to charm Summer when even Tenaya could not. But Tenaya was a robot.
Which meant there was an error somewhere, because the red liquid staining her clothes when she'd done nothing but indulge in a perfectly nice daydream of Summer was blood. And machines did not bleed.
Tenaya ran through her database of human knowledge. Then she checked where the blood was coming from. Odd...the logical explanation was something known as 'menarche'. She ran a quick scan, came up blank, then scanned her databanks for slang terms.
Finally, results. She studied the information carefully. Ah. So this was a natural part of a human woman's rhythm. Venjix must have programmed her with it to make her seem...lifelike. She was going to kill that overblown tin can for this.
At least it was solvable. All Tenaya had to do was find something called a 'tampon', apply it, and it would go away. Fast, easy solution.
Tenaya smiled. She'd be daydreaming about Summer again in no time. Now, where would a 'tampon' be?
It was not in supply. It was not in the laboratory. It was not in any of at least fifty (she stopped counting after a while, simply growing nearly insane with the lack of help) places she looked, up to and including the roof. In fact, Tenaya was starting to wonder if this was one of the many prewar products that Venjix just hadn't bothered to make.
As it turned out, she was right. But she didn't know that until she hacked into Venjix's personal database, which took a good hour and required her to become slightly more...inventive about not staining her clothes with the blood.
Tenaya stared at the information on the screen in horror.
The only place one could find 'tampons'...was Corinth.
TWO HOURS LATER...
Tenaya was not a happy robot, in roughly the same way Hitler did not stand on street corners offering free daisy bouquets to passerby.
It appeared that, first, the security in Corinth had been tightened. The good Doctor K was getting a visit from Tenaya shortly, and it was not the kind of visit Tenaya was planning on offering Summer. Then Tenaya had spotted Summer...
With Ziggy.
Laughing.
In order to take her mind off that, Tenaya had gone to a corner store to find chocolate, which she discovered she was suddenly craving. While there, a kind old lady had pointed her to the 'tampons' and explained them.
Here is where the author cuts in.
Due to legal reasons and\or pornography filters, a tampon cannot be explained in this text. The menarche deals with a southern area of women's bodies, and therefore is considered more taboo than sex.
This does not make sense to the author, either, but in the interest of getting more than one review, she will simply explain her point without too many details.
Girls can all remember the first time they used a tampon. However, for boys, the author will simply state that they were invented by male scientists. These scientists decided that the average laywoman not only can, but wants to decipher '12-15 grams', instructions with one step missing, and the fact that tampons are wrapped in cardboard, yet appear as if the cardboard is intended to remain there.
And little old ladies, while very kind, generally use euphemisms that Tenaya had never heard before.
Confusion, pain, and awkwardness had happened. Tenaya was ready to mutilate not only the little old lady, but any and all Creators worth knowing. However, she restrained herself, and returned the kindness of the elderly woman by shooing her gently away.
Then Tenaya went back to chocolate.
By this point the craving was nearly unbearable. It made sense--Tenaya's studies had revealed that trying to resist chocolate cravings while having menarche was a feat just short of impossible, and since she had already had the day from Hell, she decided that chocolate was probably the better option.
She had just decided to 'buy' (or rather shoplift, but hey, who was asking?) a type of chocolate with espresso-truffle candy inside when a hand snatched it away.
"Aaand one bar of chocolate for a very lucky Ziggy!" Said a voice.
Connected to the hand.
A hand which was connected to an arm, which wore a green sleeve.
And had Ziggy's face.
Ziggy, the Green Ranger. Ziggy, who was annoying to begin with. Ziggy, who somehow gave Subject D-44 (Dillon) emotional strength previously unknown to man. Ziggy, who took Summer's attention away.
Ziggy, who had just taken Tenaya's chocolate.
She wasn't aware of screaming, but she would later discover on playing back the memory that she had screamed "DIE!" At the top of her lungs. She was, however, aware that Ziggy crashed through a wall.
Very carefully, she counted to ten.
Twice.
Then she slowly stepped over to the fallen chocolate, picked it up, unwrapped it, and took a bite as Summer stared in something between horror and amusement. Tenaya considered, then silently offered the chocolate to her crush.
Summer raised an eyebrow and took the chocolate. "I didn't know robots got Aunt Flo."
"I am designed," Tenaya said with remarkable calm, "To act like a human."
Summer nodded. "That explains it. PMS is a bitch, hunh?"
"What's PMS?"
Summer sighed. "Okay. Guess I may as well keep Ziggy from getting knocked out every month." She took Tenaya's hand.
Tenaya's brain promptly melted. But then something registered as the two walked away. "Every...month?"
"Well, yeah." Summer said, surprised. "Didn't you know?"
If you want more, PM me with requests. Remember, it has to be a boy-girl pair (Tommy\Kim, Tenaya\Ziggy), even though the boy and girl in question don't have to be related. It also helps if one's evil, although it's not a requirement.
REVIEW!!! Please!
