One Step at a Time by PersianFreak

Companion to Life Goes On,Surprise, Over My Dead Body, and Happily Never After

Disclaimer: Everything belongs to Charlaine Harris. Please don't sue.

Rating: M. Sorta.

A/N: Possibly one-shot. I haven't decided yet. Set after A Night To Remember. Let me know what you think!!!

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The call came in the early evening, a mere hour before the sun had set, though Eric had already left work. I got into my car not 10 seconds after it was over and drove to Fangtasia, needing some semblance of comfort before I could face my friends. I threw open the office door and flung myself in my husband's arms, momentarily forgetting that my face was streaked with red and that he was wearing a white dress shirt.

"Sookie!" Eric sighed in relief, "What is it? I could feel you through the bond; I was just about to head home and-"

"He's dead," I sobbed into his chest, "He's gone."

"Who is, dear one?" Eric's arms tightened around me.

"Sam. Sam is gone."

"What, how?"

"He was old!!" I pulled back to half-shriek, "It's what happens to human when they get old, Eric!"

"Sookie..." He pulled me back into his arms.

"Fuck," I groaned, "Fuck, fuck, fuck!" I took a step back, "He's dead! I'm dead, but he's gone! Fuck!" I beat my fists against Eric's chest, "Sam- He's- FUCK!" Eric didn't even flinch though I knew he must be in pain, and that just made me cry harder.

"Sookie, it's okay," He murmured, cupping my face in his hands, "It will be okay, dear one."

I stepped out of his hold, "It's not okay! How can you say it's okay??" I wailed. My vision was becoming tinged with a ghastly shade of red, and a small part of my brain registered the macabre smears on Eric's shirt. "I knew him before I knew vampires existed! I knew him before I met Bill, before I fell in love for the first time. He knew my gran and my brother; he saved my life, and he gave me a job, and he was my friend, and now he's gone and there isn't a single thing I can do about it!" Eric stared at me wordlessly, his eyes somehow managing to convey pain and confusion.

"What is the point of this?" I asked softly, sinking unto the couch.

"What?"

"We're... powerful. We're immortal. I can fucking read minds, you can fly..." I bit back a sob and wiped angrily at the tears. "What is the point of all this power if we can't do jack shit? If we can't save a life?" Eric sunk to his knees in front of me. "What is the point of living this long when everyone we ever get to love, gets to die?" His arms slid around my waist. "You've lived for so long, Eric, what..." My sentence trailed off and I buried my face in my hands.

"I don't know," He sighed sadly and pulled my hands away from my face, holding my gaze, "There is no point to it. It's not fair, it's not logical; it's not justifiable to you because you want a good reason. You want a noble reason that makes sense. You want me to tell you that it makes you stronger, that it's better this way, but I can't tell you that because... I don't know."

"Why not?" I wept desperately, leaning into him. "How can you live this long and not know?"

"I don't know," He kissed my hair, "I wish I did just so I could help you, but I don't. And I am sorry. Sookie, I am so very sorry, but it will be okay, darling. At some point it will stop hurting; that I do know." I didn't say anything for a while, struggling to pull myself together as he held me.

"Stay with me?" I whimpered into his neck eventually, "I can't go to the funeral because Amy has it all planned out for the afternoon and I'm the only vampire and- fuck!"

"Of course I will," Eric murmured into my hair, his hands rubbing my back and drawing me closer to him until I was pressed flush against his body, my fingernails digging into his skin to keep me from falling apart even as I continued sobbing.

"I miss him so much, Eric," Could I get any closer to his body? I tightened my arms around him. "I miss him so much and he's barely gone."

Eric just kissed my ear and then my neck, sighing "I know, lover."

"Make love to me, please, Eric?" He pulled back, uncertainty on his face. "Please, I need you to, please?"

"Sookie, I don't-"

"Please," I sobbed.

"Okay, okay," He surrendered, "Just please stop crying." He muttered in between kisses. Tears continued to fall, however, soaking into my hair even as we made love and I let myself get lost in the act, in the smell of Eric and the feel of his body against mine, inside mine. Afterwards I clung to him, not letting him move an inch away from me for fear of losing him, too, this man that I had grown to depend on.

"Don't leave me," I begged him quietly, "Don't ever leave me."

"I'm not going anywhere, darling." I had been holding his hand against my chest and now he pulled it away to cup my face. "That's what immortality is good for, Sookie; I don't ever have to leave you."