The Pen15 Club
A/N- Hello readers! I'm back again with an all new EE & E story. For those of you that have read the other ones, this has similar style with my favorite, the Ed/Double D pairing, and Eddy/Various women (and surprises). It is brand new and not taken off from any of my other stories, so for those of you swooning for some more pervy new Ed/DD love…here you go. Con. Criticism and reviews are my HO2, so don't be shy!
[EXT. Double D's Front Yard]
Erratically, and shaking just a bit, Double D rips open the flimsy door to his mail box, reaches in his green-sweatered arm and reaps the helpess container of its contents. Without a glance downward at the heap of mail in his thin arms, he blasts back into his house. Double D was moderately tall and waif-like, with a slim muscles that weren't defined, but not at all unattractive. He wore a dark green pullover with slacks and Chuck Taylor's.
[Ext. Double D's House, in his kitchen]
The sink drips ominously, slowly. Double D's normally bright, open kitchen is cast dark and shadowy alike. Something sinister is afoot. Double D dramatically slams the mail down on the marble counter top. He is a slim silhouette in the dark kitchen…despite that it is a bright sunny day in Peach Creek…never mind that. He begins thumbing the mail.
"Bright House…car insurance…health insurance…top secret lumpy package for father, perhaps more lab equipment…Ear Candling Kit for mother…Ear Candling? Hmm," he mumbled, sorting through the mail. "More bills…Zombie Housekeepers From the Shadowy Depths Digest part I…?" Double D glanced at the comic book's address. It was addressed to Ed. He frowned, but placed the plastic-encased comic into his messenger bag on the table. Ed would have to explain later. He continued thumbing through the mail.
There is an obscene amount of mail today, he thought. At last, however, he found a stack of large envelopes at the bottom of the pile. He began shaking again, and bads of sweat broke out across his forhead. Nearly unable to pick up the envelopes, he scatters them in a row on the table--in alphabetical order, of course.
Brown, Emory, Harvard, New York, , Pennsylvania State, Princeton, Stanford, Univ. of Florida, and Yale. Yes. Double D had a lot of safety schools. He's about to select the first envelop when--
"ANYYYYONE HOOOOME!" A crackly, manic voice calls out as Double D's French doors are flung open, the whole ordeal startling poor Double D. With his ritual being rudely interrupted he turns and glares at Eddy.
Things haven't changed much. Eddy was still his short, napoleon-complexed self. His scarce hair was carefully moussed in every direction, it was obvious he had paid much attention for it not to look strategically styled. He had on faded jeans, sneakers, and a wife-beater hidden under his black hoodie. Typical womanizer Eddy.
"Greetings, Eddy," he said acidly. Eddy blinks
"Woah. Woooah," peers over Double D's small frame and sees the envelopes spread out on the table. "Did I interrupt something? You look pissed, Sockhead."
Double D is shivering now, not because of anxiety, but because of boiling anger. Meh.
"Really, Eddy, sometimes you can be so inconsiderate, I-"
"Great story Sockhead! But I've gotta intervene" Eddy began. Double D just frowns, knowing he's lost this battle once again. Then, his face lights up as he realizes Eddy's try at using higher-level grammar.
"Intervene, Eddy? My, how senior year has changed you," Double D glanced anxiously at the pile of envelopes.
"Yeah, yeah. So anyway…"
There is an extremely long pause. Double D crossed his arms, uncrossed them, and shifted his weight to the other foot.
"Yes, Eddy?" He said impatiently
"Er…shoot. I forgot. Nevermind."
Double D made a concerned face, forgetting the mail for a moment.
"You know not to spend more than thirty minutes in Ed's room, right?"
Eddy blinked. "Yea…?"
"Okay. I haven't assessed weather or not the contaminants in there affect the hippocampus, but I have my theories…"
"Hippo…"
"GUYS!!!" A frazzled Ed bursts through the doors, making them waver against his strength.
Ed was still…Ed. More or Less. His recent experimenting with hair dye has left his short scruffy hair a mess of different colors, as well as a few piercings…eyebrow, lip, and ears here and there (all done himself, of course) Ed's the lovable oaf we all know and adore, just with a bit more edge, and of course no particular style. Today he wore cutoff jeans and some torn band tee. Oh, Ed.
"Lumpy, hey, we were just talking about you," Eddy grumbled, most likely distressed at Double D for using a barely pronouncable word…
"Oh. Uh. Was it bad?"
"No. You're hippa-campis is shit, though."
Ed's eyes widen for a moment, and then sniffs his underarms.
"I don't think so, Eddy. My mom told me I lost it a long time ago
"Gentlemen," Double D said finally. "If I may, could I direct the conversation to the kitchen table? The mail beckons."
"Today is college day!" Ed cried. Double D's face softened.
"Ed, you remembered!"
"Yeah. S'cause Sarah was making a big deal this morning."
"Sarah's fifteen, Dopey, she can't go to college"
"Yuh-huh!. She's super smart n' stuff. Lotsa extra-currr-ick-u-lums, finished school early. I am oh so proud of my baby sister, yes sir!!!"
"Must've got the shallow end of the gene pool then," Eddy mumbled.
Ed grinned and puffed his chest out, all manly-like.
"Nuh-uh. I got all the good looks!" He grinned his gummy, goofy grin. Eddy mumbled something incoherent, and Double just giggled, and went to attend to the envelopes.
"Where did Sarah get in to college, Ed?"
Ed shrugged
"I dunno."
Flipping through the envelopes, Double D began to get nervous again.
"What's with the shakes, Sockhead, you're fallin' apart."
"I'm just so nervous, Eddy…I-I Don't know if I can bear the news…"
"Oh stop," Eddy simultaneously ripped open all of the envelopes at once, to the horror of Double D and Ed…Ed's delight, who was dancing around in the fallen bits of paper as if it were snow.
"I'm catching paper flakes on my tongue!" Ed cried, curling his purple tongue around a shred of paper, chewing, and swallowing it. "Mmm!"
"Eddy! Have you gone mad!? The opening process is very intricate I-I-I…how could you?!?"
"Cool it, Diva. Do you seriously think you didn't get in to any of these places?" Eddy began to read the letters out loud. "Congratulations on you're acceptance to blah blah-blah-"
"LA LA LA LA I'M NOT LISTENING, EDDY!!!" Double D clamped both hands over his ears, shutting his eyes tight. Ed begins to throw pieces of paper over Double D's head, amused by his aimless circling. Eddy stops, raising an eyebrow. Double D realizes how ridiculous he's being, and regain's his composure blowing off the bits of paper that landed on his nose and are now gathering in a steady pile in a crease in is black hat (yes…he still wears it.).
"Are you done?"
Double D clears his throat.
"Yes."
"Well genius, you got in to every college you applied to," Eddy said blankly.
Double D's mouth dropped to the floor in shock. Eddy rolled his eyes.
"Yes, yes, I know. Shocking," he continued, and proceeded to open Double D's fridge and gather an arm's full of contents.
"Better close you're mouth, Double D. You might catch flies," Ed said, looking up.
"You would know," Eddy said, mid bite in a crunchy, healthy-looking bar thingy. He immediately spit it out, grimacing. "Hell, what is it with your family and all this organic crap Double D. It tastes like paper."
Double D shook a little, coming back into the realm of reality.
"It's because it's good for you, Eddy. It's not clogging your arteries like the rest of who knows what you put into that mouth of yours."
Eddy smiled slyly.
"Do ya really wanna know?"
Double D shot a warning look at Eddy, and narrowed his eyes.
"If it has anything to do with fornicating, brutality, or a combination of the two, then please take the discussion elsewhere."
Eddy shrugged.
"I won't taint you until your in college."
Double D shuddered.
Meanwhile, Ed was looking through the acceptance letters. Reality was settling.
"So…Double D…this college stuff…it means your going away?" Ed's voice cracked a little bit at the end. Double D bit his lip (ooooh!!), trying to gently coax Ed with his tone.
"Well…in theory…yes. Though, how far away I go depends on where I decide, and-"
Double D couldn't finish his sentence. He was immediately smothered in the bone-crushing bear hug of Ed. Double D blushed a little, nearly collapsing, though it was not because of Ed's weight. Ed sobbed/drooled into his shoulder.
"DOUBLE D…..(sob) Y-You, you can't l-leave (drool) me n' Eddy are g-g-gonna miss you s-so muchhhh(sob sob, drool)"
Double D patted the erratically sobbing Ed on the back.
"Oh Ed, you know you two are more than welcome to come visit and stay anytime you like! Why, I don't think I could survive college without you two."
Ed looked up, his eyeliner smeared quite a bit.
"P…Promise?"
Double D smiled warmly.
"I promise, Ed."
Ed looked hopefully into Double D's eyes, his bottom lip still trembling. He could noticed a slight twitch in Double D's mouth, and he held up a finger to stop it from trembling like his own.
Eddy groaned from the table, breaking Double D from his moment of the serene peace he felt. His face flushed.
"Should I leave you girls alone to play seven minutes in heaven, or what?"
Double D blinked, and Ed sprang off him to tackle Eddy.
"I WANT TO PLAY!"
"ED no, AGH, get off. Ed! GET OFF!" He shoved the Oaf aside, brushing himself off. "Let's figure out where Double D is going before we start the sappy stuff," he turned to Double D. "Any idea, Sockhead?"
Double D went over the letters of acceptance. The trembling he felt now was out of intellectual joy and excitement.
"Would it be cliché if I went to Harvard or Yale?" He mumbled, not really meaning to ask a question.
"Too cold. I'm real sensitive to sudden climate change," Eddy said, now snacking on sorbet ice cream.
"Good to know your so concerned as to where I get my education, Eddy." Double D scolded, but couldn't help but smile.
"Which is the farthest south?"
"Furthest. Furthest South, Eddy. And it's Gainsville…University of Florida."
"So go there."
Double D chuckled.
"Go there so you and Ed can perfect your bronze?"
"Seriously. Does it matter where you go? C'mon, Double D, you know that wherever you decide to go, you're goin' to kick it's ass. You could probably go to Alaska community college and cure cancer. Or something."
Double D beamed.
"Thank you Eddy. That came from a very deep place, didn't it?"
"Sure did. But that's my good deed for the year, so don't expect it again."
Double D wanted to hug his friend, but thought it wiser not to kill his oddly good mood. He was so overwhelmed with the support and positive feelings…and hormones, too probably…he was always a late bloomer…but he felt confident in what Eddy had said. It was true, it doesn't matter the institution, it's what you do with your education that counts. Aha. An epiphany.
"Florida it is," Ed smiled.
It was the shouts of joy that were heard all around the Cul-De-Sac.