Titan Fairy Tales
Summary: Invader Hog presents six beloved fairy tales featuring the Teen Titans.
Disclaimer: You kidding? I don't own anything!
One
The Three Little Titans
Featuring: Mas, Menos, Robin and Beast Boy
Once Upon A Time…
There once were three little boys, Mas and his twin Menos and their friend, little Robin. They loved playing together but eventually they had to go home. Mas lived in a house made of straw, even though Robin told him it was structurally unsound and would easily fall if there ever happened to be someone walking by ready to blow it over.
Of course, Mas didn't understand a word Robin said, and just lived in his little house. His brother, Menos, lived in a house made of sticks and mud. Again, Robin told the pair that it was a bad idea and that they should call a real contractor to actually build them safe homes, but again neither of them listened.
While the boys lived in horrible little houses, Robin hired Cyborg to build him a fortress of solitude, made of steel and had a state-of-the-art alarm system. No one was knocking this baby over!
So, one day the boys were finished playing and went home. As the afternoon began to grow into night, Mas sat in his house, playing video games when a knock came to the door. He went up and instead of opening the door he asked, "Who is it?" (since the author of these stories doesn't know how to speak Spanish and would rather just not bother with actually asking anyone, the reader gets to use their imagination! Yay!)
"Little Pig, Little Pig," came a voice, a green face behind the door.
"Little Pig? I'm not a pig! I'm a boy!" Mas answered, looking annoyed.
"Uh… Okay, little Boy Little Boy! Can you let me in?" the voice asked again, turning into a large hungry wolf. Little Mas could not see, but it was in fact Beast Boy, the evil wolf from the forest who wanted to eat anything that was moving! Poor little Mas was in trouble!
"Go away!" Mas called back.
"Oh, Please let me in," Beast Boy urged.
"Not by the hair of my chinny chin, chin…"
Beast Boy paused for a moment and then replied, "What does that even mean?"
"How should I know? I don't even speak English!"
"You had better let me in or I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house in!" Beast Boy said, looking at the straw house. Robin somewhere was saying "I told you so" but Mas would never give him the pleasure of an answer.
"You better go away!" Mas said, but it was too late. Beast Boy made himself into a huge wolf and blew the house down. Little Mas headed for the hills, running towards his brother's house and quickly was soon upon it.
Beast Boy followed, seeing the next house. Menos hurried and let his brother in and their quickly spoke in Spanish before realizing that they were in trouble. Suddenly Beast Boy was upon the house.
"Little Boys Little Boys, please let me in!" he said, licking his teeth.
"No! Not by the hair of our chinny chin, chins!" Mas and Menos said at once.
"Again with that phrase! What does that even mean?! I mean, come on, did someone just have issues finding enough words that rhymed with 'in'?" Beast Boy asked, throwing up his hands.
"Leave us alone you stupid wolf!" and again Beast Boy blew the house down, the two little heroes running towards Robin's super awesome fortress of solitude. They banged on the door and before the Beast Boy could get them, he was fried by Robin's heat seeking lasers. And everyone lived happily ever after….
Beast Boy: What in the hell was this?
Invader Hog: I'm telling the stories, so I get to decide. Besides, that's what you get for picking on a bunch of little boys. Loser.
Beast Boy: Ouch… that was harsh.
Invader Hog: Hope so… On the to next tale!
- I realized a little bit latter that "the Three Little Pigs" was not really a fairy tale, but actually a nursary ryhme... I felt sad inside...
Invader Hog