Visit to a Weird 'Gate Address

Author's note: Only a bit of light fun really. What if Jack O'Neill and Daniel Jackson somehow end up on the set of the TV show...

Companion to "Visit To A Weird 'Gate Address Revisited"

Jack O'Neill transmitted the iris code and stepped through the Stargate. "Carter! What the hell just happened? This is not the Gateroom."

"Rick? That's not your line! Cut!"

"Rick!"

"Yes, Michael, Rick. Your Co-star. I'm Andy Mikita..."

"What the..."

"Ha! Had you going!" Jack doubled over laughing.

"Jack?"

"Naa, Michael. We'll not get away with that twice. Come on."

"O...kay..."

Once they were out in the corridor, Daniel said "Okay, Jack, what the hell?"

"We're on a TV set...Hey, can we get a script over here? Thanks...Daniel – Michael, we're gonna have to actually act."

"I'm a genius linguist, not an actor."

"Just learn your lines. Pretend they're in a foreign language."

"Jack, they are in a foreign language."

"TV-ese? Good one."

"No; English. My native language is Arabic, Jack, I thought you knew that."

"Rick. While we're here, it's Rick."

"Okay, Ja-Rick."

After asking an "SF" when they were shooting the next 'Gate scene, and finding it was 8AM next day, they found their way to Michael's trailer. They read the script through, and Daniel gave it to Jack to learn his line. Michael wandered onto the set, where they were reshooting one Asgard scene that hadn't come out right before. The puppet's hand lifted slowly, and moved a half inch forward...touching Cart-Tapping's ass. She promptly whirled and slapped the puppet. She then started apologising profusely. Still laughing, he went round to the trailer to tell 'Rick'.

"Oh, my God! Michael, you will not believe this!"

"What?"

"I got bored with lines, so I started looking online. I found some fanfiction...look at this! ... Michael! Oh, boy. Definitely not harmless! I didn't know you knew so many languages!"

"Twenty-three is the number of officially recognised languages I know."

"Ah. Well, no offence, but I like Carter. Hell, by now I think I love Carter! Not you. Or Janet. And definitely not Teal'c!"

"Well, that's fine. I love Sha're still." A sad look passed over his face, but then he thought of something, "Jack, I've seen something..." and proceeded to relate the puppet-slapping episode.

"Great! D-Michael, follow me!"

Finding Tapping, 'Rick' grabbed her and snogged her face off. Daniel was then ambushed for Thor's lines, both in the scene and for real (through the distorter). That night, both actors drove off to a motel.

"Thank God these universes are so similar! I was worried about our money being different."

"I'm glad Teal'c didn't end up here. Imagine what would've happened!"

"Oh, God."

"Well, quite."

Next morning, Jack's infallible sense of direction put them back on-set. A half-hour delay was making both actors more and more antsy.

"What if we miss the wormhole they step through."

"What if they get caught? And don't go through the Gate?"

"Aaand...Action!"

"You guys, you won't believe where we've just been!"

It's a Trek joke, so sue me. Feedback appreciated, and be nice.

Disclaimer: the story is mine, all mine! Muahaha! But, the actors are their own selves (or their agents'), the TV show belongs to whoever owns it, ditto Star Trek and VTAWP. No copyright infringement or plagiarism is intended, and if I have somehow, accidentally done something illegal, all I can say is "No, no, please don't sue me!"