Wow, my eyes burn. Today was depressing, and guess who gets to hear the result? YOU DO! Well anyways, I do hope you enjoy whatever it is I make here. Review. Please.
Be careful, little eyes, what you see...
Nighttime. I waited until the day of miracles was over, and then I schemed in near darkness. What business had I trailing along as the Messiah performed miracles that I could not explain in even my wildest dreams? What value would such thingsa be to me when I faced the tests? He coul not hide us from the world, after all. The priests were becoming envious, and they wanted the man's blood. My life was at stake as well.
Was he worth more than I, this Jesus? If he were truly the Son of God, he would save himself from death, would he not? I could not call upon angels. I could only do what I was capable of doing. What was that, exactly? My teacher was so valuble to our people, and yet there was the possibility that he would cost me more than any man would be willing to pay.
I stepped into the street to breathe the cold air. My thoughts needed to be rational. But then, what was rationality, really, other thasn a limit in the human mind that kept us alive?
My eyes fell on a man in the moonlight. I did not recognize him, which was odd considering the fact that all of Jerusalem had come to see my Teacher. He was unusually pale, this man, and dressed in in an aristocrat's robes. Grey eyes watched my own eyes, and a strange chill ran through me. He had an inhuman beauty, this man, beauty that no mortal could possibly obtain. I longed to have such beauty, I realised.
His smiling lips twisted to form a single word. Light. Yet he seemed not to move at all. "Are you an angel?" I asked him finally, unable to restrain myself.
His eyes darkened. "Judas," he purred, his quiet, velvety voice whispered. "Do I appear to you as an ordinary man? Tell me, what do I seem to be? You seem to fear me. Most amusing."
The man's voice echoed eerily after he finished speaking. He seemed more charismatic than anyone I'd ever know, and I couldn't help but laugh.
"You are no man, surely. But what is your name? Raphael? Gabriel? Michael?"
His fash turned almost dangerous when I said the name. "My fellows. You may call me Luz, if you wish."
"Luz. Why are you here at such an hour? Do you look for my teacher?"
"No, I know where he lies. I've watched him more closely than you could ever know. But I do not come for him. I come for you. Your life is at risk, Judas. Surely you have realised that?"
"Yes. But the rabbi is the Son of God, they say-"
"If he is really the Son," he murmered, "he will call upon his legions when threatened. You, however, cannot do such things. He does not care what your fate is. His only concern is his teaching. Go to the priests, and tell them where Jesus is. Do you know that they offer gold for him?"
I hesitated. That sounded odd for an angel to say. "But surely that is not the only way? They want only him."
"Ah, but they shall stone you for being alongside him. Or you could be crucified. Do you want to die because of this man? You can live, Judas, if you do this. No one will know that you did it. Even the Son himself will be oblivious!"
I said nothing. His eyes stayed expressionless, and so I knew that he had seen the depth of mine. "I shall give you an escape. Shall you do it?"
I nodded. Together we walked to the priests, and I told them where Jesus was. Thirty pieces of silver. Luz had disappeared.
Blood. It was everywhere as they struck him, and yet he said nothing. His eyes caught mine, and I knew that he had known everything. The priests did not spare him, regardless of my begging. Where was Luz? Surely he could help?
I ran to find him. He stood near a tree in the midst of the desert, smiling. "You've got to help Jesus, Luz! He's dying!"
"Is he?" He did not move.
"Save him! You're an angel; save him!"
The danger returned to his face. "I am the fallen morning star, Judas. I am the enemy of God. And you are merely a puppet on my string. How easy you are to deceive."
"You promised me an escape! Help me!"
I saw it then, the rope on the tree. It swung gently as the breeze blew. There was a strange beauty to it. "This is your escape, Judas. You have nothing left on this earth. No more pain... No more memories..."
I let him place the rope around my neck. I jumped from the hill, and felt the strain of the rope on my neck. I could not breathe, could not move...
Agony. Memories. Nothingness.
Dakness. Burning. Laughing. And that beautiful face and that vile smile visible through the flames.
Fin
