Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or anything associated with Harry Potter. J. K. Rowling owns everything to do with Harry Potter. I am only letting off creativeness, and no copyright infringement is intended.
Harry Potter entered the Great Hall and took a seat at the Gryffindor table.
Seconds later, Professor McGonagall entered, and gave them the usual speech about being patent with the First years, and making them feel welcome, especially the muggleborn's.
McGonagall left, and returned seconds later with a bunch of scared looking first years.
They were sorted into their houses, and then Albus Dumbledore stood up.
"Good evening, students and staff" he began.
"A special welcome to all the first years. Welcome back to every other student. Welcome to all the staff, both new, and returning. It is a pleasure seeing you all again. Our caretaker, Mr. Filch, has asked me to remind you that the forbidden forest is out of bounds, as is any out of order bathrooms and such, with signs. Swimming in the lake is not permitted, as I'm sure the giant squid would get tired of lifting you all out. The Prefects will show you to your rooms after the feast" Dumbledore explained.
As he was speaking, a dark yellow stain was seeping into the front of his robes, by his private area.
He looked down, and noticed this.
"My dear friends! It seems I am getting old!" exclaimed Dumbledore.
He waved his hand over the stain, and it disappeared.
Minerva, do you see yourself fit to be an acceptable Headmistress?" asked Dumbledore.
"Y-yes, Professor" McGonagall stuttered, getting to her feet.
"Well, then the school seems to be in order. With all of these students and staff as my witnesses, I am resigning. If it is seen that I am unable to control my bladder, it seems to me that I am unfit to be in charge of a school. Minerva, I leave Hogwarts in your hands. Accio, Firebolt!" Dumbledore cried.
Second's later, Harry's broomstick came soaring into the Great Hall.
"You don't mind, do you, Harry? I'll have it sent back" Dumbledore said, and with that he climbed onto the broomstick, and soared out of the Great Hall.
The hall erupted in gasps, fits of laughter and shocked silence.
Finally, McGonagall seized control of the hall.
"You heard Dumbledore! From now on, I will be your Headmistress! Now settle, and enjoy the feast!" McGonagall swept her hand over the hall, and all of the tables were covered in food.
She said something to Professor Flitwick, which sent him speeding over to Harry, as fast as his little legs would carry him.
"Come with us" he said, and Harry stood up. He saw McGonagall leaving the hall, and followed her.
They reached the gargoyle which guarded the office belonging to the Headmaster/Headmistress.
McGonagall spoke a word which made the gargoyle bounce out of the way to reveal a spiralling staircase, which they then climbed.
They reached the door which led to the office, and went through it.
McGonagall waited until Flitwick had shut the door, then spoke.
Professor Dumbledore has obviously suffered a severe nervous breakdown. Nothing else would make him leave the school. Now, Potter. Do you know anything we don't that may have lead to Dumbledore's sudden breakdown? I know you were fairly close to him" she asked.
"I only know as much as you do, Professor – or do I call you Headmistress now?" Harry asked.
"Did we ever call Dumbledore Headmaster? Not often. You will address me as Professor. Now, what is it exactly that we know, Potter?" she asked.
"Um, he wet himself in public, Professor. Surely that could've been what set him off" Harry pondered.
McGonagall shook her head.
"No…it'd have to be more severe than that…" she said.
"Maybe…knowing that he's the only one who Voldemort fears made him crack" Harry suggested.
"No…it'd be bigger than that…" she said.
"What could possibly be bigger than that?" Harry cried.
"Bigger than what, Potter?" she asked.
"Having the most feared wizard of all time fear you, Professor" Harry explained.
"Oh, that…I don't know…you are free to go, now, Potter" she dismissed him.
Harry left the office feeling confused. Why would Dumbledore leave Hogwarts?
It was late at night, and Harry was just drifting off to sleep in the Gryffindor common room, when Hermione came in.
"There are rumours that Dumbledore's back, and Snape's made him a potion to cure his…self-esteem" she announced.
Harry fell asleep.
"Harry? Harry!" Hermione demanded.
Harry woke up.
Fred and George walked in.
Yellow stains were seeping into their robes.
"Oh…it seems we're getting old! Goodbye, Gryffindor! Goodbye, Hogwarts!" they shouted, mocking Dumbledore.
They left up the stairs to go to bed, amongst weak smiles and the odd chuckle.
Suddenly, McGonagall's voice cut through the school.
"Everybody, Professor Dumbledore's back. He's recovered from his breakdown, and is happy to return to his post as Hogwart's Headmaster" she said.
Suddenly Dumbledore's voice was there too.
"I did not agree to that! You said you'd get me a councillor! You said you'd get me a packet of sherbet lemons, and a councillor! Where's my lemons? Where's my councillor?" he asked.
"Professor! It is my duty to reassure the students that you have returned!" she cried.
"I wont rest until I have my sherbet lemons and a councillor! The reason I left was because I wet myself in public, and Voldemort only fairs me! What good's Harry going to do without me? It's stressful being me! You should try it one day, Professor! I guarantee you wont last one day! And don't call me Professor! I'm just Albus now! Where's my councillor and sherbet lemons?" Dumbledore said.
"Now's not the time for sherbet lemons! Use Flitwick. He'll comfort you…it costs too much to hire a councillor…" McGonagall muttered.
"The point is, Dumbledore's back, so students, go to SLEEP!" McGonagall bellowed.
It went silent.
The Gryffindor common room emptied until there was only Harry, Ron and Hermione.
"So…" said Ron.
"Who's up for a game of Wizard Chess?" he asked.
Harry's eyebrows went up.
Hermione whacked Ron over the head with the book she was holding.