Alright people. I came up with this idea that Gaara's gonna kill me. And, there will be fifty semi-related oneshots here. The goal is to make Gaara do something that will make him want to kill you. Oh, and he has to do it. Use your imagination to figure out what the hell we did to force Gaara to do theses things. This story is being co-written between me and MusicAgainstTheHeart. She is a Gaara lover. Love her stories. Anyway, Each chapter will alternate Authors. Alright, now, I'm sure you understand how all this works. Good. And We don't own Naruto, or any other recognizable figure that may appear in this fic. The show will go on!

This chapter written by Baby Cougar.

Gaara glared at me. I had taken his sand gourd, so he couldn't use his sand. We were back stage. I shoved the blue fuzzy material at him.

"C'mon, Gaara. I'll give you your gourd back and bake you chocolate chip cookies after this."

"Hn." He glared again, his icy sea-green glare sending chills down my spine. He ripped the material from my hands and put it on, zipping up the long zipper and grabbing the carrot prop from the prop table. I made him sit down.

"Alright, now sit still. This won't last long. I'll even let you kill Kankouro for lending this too me."

At the mention of the word "kill" he perked up.

"Alright. Just get it over with."

I pulled out the makeup. Whipping out the eyeliner, I screwed the top to get some out. I drew three long whiskers on either side of his face. Satisfied, I grabbed the box of costume makeup. Selecting a bright pink crayon, I colored his nose in.

"Alright sport, I'm done." I grinned and held up a mirror. He paled when he looked at his reflection. He brought his hands up to feel the long things that were sticking out of his head.

"You've got to be kidding me."

"Remember the cookies, Gaara."

"Hn."

He got up and walked over to the edge of the stage, just out of the eyes of the audience. I watched him, then realized something was missing.

"Stop!"

He did and looked at me. "What now?"

I grabbed a large wad of cotton, pouring glue on one side. I ran up behind him and slapped it on his butt, the action throwing him out onto the middle of the stage. The silence was deafening. Gaara looked at his behind at the fuzzy ball of cotton. His face flushed. Is that a blush I see? More silence as the audience stared in shock. I heard a cricket somewhere behind me.

"Dammit Shino!"

"Sorry."

Then Garra spoke. "Laugh…..and you will die." He said this to the audience, but he was looking me straight in the eyes. I shivered.

Gaara lifted the carrot to his mouth and took a bite, munching loudly. He cocked his head to the side, making the rabbit ears twitch, and loudly said, "What's up, doc?"

Alright, kill me now. I had to. Originally the bunny suit was pink….but I thought I would spare Gaara some dignity. Next up is MusicAgainstTheHeart's chapter.