Title: Sacrificial Lamb
Author: msathenaxf
Spoilers: Audition
Summary: She did do it for love. But not love of self.
Author's Notes: Because what they did to Rachel's character in Audition pissed me off. This is rough and choppy, but I had to get it out there.
Sacrificial Lamb
The room was silent as the other ten members of her precious club walked out the door. They weren't happy with her but they needed her. Finn looked back, but she gave him a small reassuring nod and he left with the others. Mr. Schuester stood next to her, looking like he wanted to offer comfort but knowing that she didn't really deserve it. Rachel knew she didn't deserve it; she wasn't waiting for it. She just stood quietly until the door closed, keeping her eyes on the dirty linoleum.
As soon as she walked back into school on the first day, Rachel knew things were going to be different, and probably not for the better. And so far, she was right. But this experience had turned out exactly how she'd planned.
It was only a matter of time before Coach Sylvester forced Quinn to do something that no one else wanted her to do. And with the way Quinn was feeling right now, Rachel was pretty sure she would do it. She would do something mean to one of the glee members and the whole first-half of last year would begin again. Jocks against the gleeks, with Finn stuck in the middle not knowing where to go.
Mercedes would be pissed at Quinn for throwing away their friendship; Kurt would be pissed on Mercedes' behalf. Then, of course, Santana and Quinn were already fighting in the hallways, so there would be that threatening the jock alliance. Brittany would automatically side with the Latina beauty. Puck would side with Quinn because he still wanted her. Plus, there was the ever-present tension between Santana and Puck.
On the other end of the popularity scale, Artie didn't give Tina the attention she needed, and Tina broke up with him in a not-so-sensitive manner. In the meantime, she hooked up with Artie's opposite in every way. Artie was longing for Tina and jealous of Mike. Tina was lusting after Mike and disappointed in Artie. And of course, once the jock/gleek issues started again, Tina would be caught in the middle.
Rachel knew that Burt and Carole were still trying to make a go of things and continuing to cause tension between Finn and Kurt. And there were enough problems, in her opinion, from Kurt. But he also had enough problems of his own, which—she suspected—is what made him such a jerk in his own right.
So before she'd even stepped foot into their first rehearsal, Rachel could see the tenuous threads forged from last year's drama beginning to fray. It would only be a matter of time before they snapped all together.
Rachel could see during Empire State of Mind that Sunshine was interested, so Rachel had done research. That much was true. There was no way she would allow someone with no talent, drive, or dedication to join her club. She had to know who this girl was in case she showed up for an audition.
It would be lying to say that she wasn't threatened by the quality of the girl's voice once she heard it. But before she had even entered the restroom, Rachel had decided that she would do everything possible to offend Sunshine and keep her out of glee club.
Because Rachel had learned that Sunshine's status as a foreign exchange student would be gone at the end of this semester—right after Sectionals and just before work began on Regionals. She wouldn't be here for the whole year, wouldn't be able to help them land Nationals. She would join them for a little while, just long enough for the group to start relying on her talent, and disappear.
There was no way to force Sunshine away from an audition. So Rachel tried to sabotage her. God! She had paid the biggest jocks in school to slushy her—a torture that Rachel knew well. Then sent to her into dangerous territory, trying to frighten and intimidate her into staying away. Rachel felt nauseated even thinking about it.
Vocal Adrenaline swooping in and stealing the Filipino girl was a nasty surprise, and Rachel was reminded that she had to stop underestimating them. And now with all those booster club connections, Sunshine would be here for a whole school year. Only, she was going to help Vocal Adrenaline. The only comfort Rachel could take from the situation was that all the Vocal Adrenaline female singers were as good or better than Sunshine—at least she wouldn't necessarily be their star.
But, while Rachel was in no way comfortable with it, the truth was, she did do this for the club. The Vocal Adrenaline issue was icing on the cake. She had oversold it, her concern and love for the other members of the team. She did it on purpose. She needed them to think the worst of her, as much as it hurt.
And it did hurt. It hurt that they didn't remember how she'd given up her underwear, or arranged two performances in support of their classmates, or proudly given up the ballad to Mercedes, or washed slushy from her tormentor's hair, or forgiven them—all of them—for their hellacious treatment. Because while she might be tactless and she didn't always think of how her actions would affect anyone else, Rachel wasn't a mean person.
She took a deep breath and prepared to leave the choir room, but when she looked up she was surprised to see Mr. Schuester still standing at the door, just staring at her. Rachel flinched away from the disappointment on his face but met his eyes.
He spoke, his voice soft and confused. "Rachel, I just don't understand. Why? This isn't you." Rachel opened her mouth but Will kept speaking. "I know what you told them, told me, but I just don't buy it. You aren't like that. What's going on?"
She again looked at the floor, her face contorted into a sad expression. It shouldn't surprise her that her teacher wouldn't see the problems brewing in their mist. Meeting his eyes once more, and moving past him to the doorway, she turned around just as she passed into the hallway.
"We're a family, Mr. Schuester. They said so. Nothing brings family together like a common enemy, right?"
~fin