I am Jill

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Hi. My name is Jill. I work in the Giant's castle. (Don't listen when they tell you it's a palace, it's not. There's a big difference). I'm sort of a Jill-of-all-trades, if you will, but mostly I work in the Kitchens. It's not so bad. I mean, I could be working in the privies. (They get paid more than most, but they tend to die off sooner). But, anyway, back to what I was saying. There are five Jills working in the Castle, I'm 'Kitchen Jill' most of the time. My full name is Jillia Illan de Mountebanks. The only reason I have such an outrageous name is because I started out being Lady Jillia, but that's a different story. Now I'm just Jill.

See that man over there? The big one with the red hair? He's the head Cook. We mostly call him Cook, or Sir. Even the head of the Wait staff calls him 'Sir', 'cause you just don't mess with the big man holding the cleaver. His daughter is one of the other Jills, but she works inside with her husband. Cook mostly calls me Mountebanks, just to avoid confusion. Everyone here always does what he says, 'cause he's the boss. Not to mention the best cook in three kingdoms. Trust me on that, I know it for a fact.

There are plenty of good things about working in the kitchens. For one, you are never cold. Never. And you always have enough to eat. You don't see many who're too skinny here. Not to mention the muscles. Kneading a roll of bread dough as big as a two-year-old gets you a pretty good set of arms. If it weren't for the constant flour coating and waft of spices, we'd easily be mistaken for undermaids. See, there's the maids, who do the fancy work like dusting and polishing. They get to dress nicer too, 'cause they aren't hauling buckets of dirty water everywhere. Then there are the undermaids, who aren't as high up on the posh scale. You can always tell what kind of maid someone is by the size of their arms, see. 'Cause it's the undermaids who are hauling and scrubbing and hauling and beating carpets and the hundred and one other chores you get working in a Giant's Castle. Want a tip? Don't ever piss off an undermaid. They could beat you to a pulp without breaking a sweat.

So, us kitchen folks are a lot like that. Most of the time I do baking and cooking, but since I'm so special –yeah, you're supposed to laugh– I do other things too, like I said before. Some milking of cows, lots of egg-gathering. And let me tell you, a Giant eats a lot of eggs.

I suppose you'll want to know about the Giant, then? Well, despite all the stories you hear, he's not all that bad. Just big. I don't come quite up to his knee, but Cook does. (Told you he was big, Cook's a head taller than most men). Baron Michaelwhite Despora is his name. And of course, he's just fallen for a Lady, so there's been a lot more work for us in the kitchens of late, with his entertaining and all. Her name is Lady Brunia of Applegate.

Tom West, one of the Upstairs boys, says he's seen the Lady before, and can't see why the Baron is so enamored. He says 'she ain't too pretty an' she ain't so young an' she's hardly rich at all. I just don' unnerstand it, even for a Giant she's no looker.'

Well, Tom's always been a bit thick about this sort of thing. He just doesn't get that you don't have to be pretty or rich if you're in love.

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Well, that's it for the Intro...bit short, but tell me whatcha thought? --puppydog eyes, offers cookies--