Me: Hi everyone!
Iggy: Yeah, hi.
Me: Well, I was having a severe case of writers block for my other stories...so I took some of Saint's amazing writers block advice and just wrote a oneshot because I felt like it :)
Iggy: Yeah, a oneshot involving me having a bad day. You've been practically waiting to write something like this, haven't you?
Me: Heh...maybe...
Iggy: -glares-
Me: Anyway, the inspiration for this story came from a quote that my little sister Heather and I came up with one night...and it's in the first paragraph about what Gazzy did with the toothbrush. I'll re-state it at the end :)
Disclaimer of randomness: I've been on this site for more than a year. For goodness sake, if I owned MR why would I be here? I don't own Maximum Ride. But I do own that quote.
Iggy: You're disclaimers are repetitive.
Me: -sigh- Whatever. Enjoy it, guys!
"What's this about my toothbrush?" I shouted, bolting down the hallway and skidding to a stop outside the bathroom.
"Uh…hi Iggy," Gazzy said, his voice holding a slight nervousness that only I could recognise.
"Yeah. Hi." I replied sternly, my arms folding neatly across my chest and my eyes narrowing at my partner in crime. My soon to be dead partner in crime. "What have you done with my toothbrush?"
"It's a funny story really…" Gazzy said with an uneasy chuckle and I heard the eight year old take a tiny step back.
"Uh-huh. Is it as funny as the stories that involve my shirts, my breakfast, my conversation with Fang and my ipod?" I asked, not amused. I don't normally get angry, hardly at all really unless you count my burning anger towards men in white coats and Erasers/Flyboys/M-Geeks, but after everything that had happened today I was fuming. Gazzy wasn't helping.
"Oh, no. It's much funnier than those because mine involves good news and bad news!" He said, his voice now containing fake enthusiasm. I could read this kid like a book.
"Okay then, go ahead. Bad news first."
Gazzy hesitated for a moment obviously trying to figure out how to break the news to me. I kept my arms folded and a blank expression on my face, staring him down.
"The bad news is that I dropped your toothbrush in the toilet!" He said, keeping up the pretend excitement. I felt my fists clench. "But the good news is that I fished it out using your hairbrush and your spare ipod headphones!" he added quickly, brushing past me and dashing down the hall.
That just about made me snap.
"GAZZY-"
Okay, it's obvious that I'm getting way ahead of myself here. I mean, every story should have a beginning, middle and an end, right? Exactly. So why am I telling the end first? Man, I suck at story telling.
How about I just start from the beginning of the day? Yeah, that sounds good to me. This hell day started when I woke up.
"Iggy! Iggy, wake up!"
I groaned as the sound of metal pots being bashed together noisily entered my consciousness and I rolled over, pushing the pillow down over my head.
"Iggy! Iggy! Iggy! Iggy! Iggy-"
"What?" I growled loudly from underneath the pillow, my fingers digging in the softness protecting my head from the irritating noise.
"Max and Dr. M say that you have to get up already!" Nudge said sounding almost hyper. From the sound of things, it was Nudge and Gazzy that they had sent to get me up. Joy.
"Five more minutes," I mumbled, burying my body deeper under the covers, but they were rudely thrown off. The cold air made my skin prickle and I brought my knees up to my chest as Gazzy tried to pry the pillow off my head.
"Iggy, come on! It's one o'clock. Dr. Martinez isn't impressed!"
"Neither am I. You. Guys. Are. So…" I sat up quickly, hitting Nudge and Gaz with the pillow as I went. "…DEAD!" I finished and they ran out of the room screaming, their footsteps quick and desperate to get away. They had a right to run, but I was too tired to chase them. So whatever.
I muttered a cuss under my breath and then stood, stretching my cramped muscles and rolling my shoulders. Then, I extended my wings slowly and walked forward so that my wingtips only brushed the back wall and I could stretch them properly. I always found that after sleeping the muscles in my wings always felt particularly cramped and in need of a good stretch. Today was no exception. However, today was also the day that nothing seemed to go right. So, with that knowledge, what do you think happened to me when I walked forward? Come on, take a guess. I'm a blind guy that had just woken up and was feeling really disorientated. If you guessed 'he walked into the wall' you guessed correctly. If I had the money, I'd give you a freaking prize.
"Ow," I muttered, rubbing my head with the palm of my hand and tucking my wings back in. I muttered another cuss and then turned towards the door, keeping my eyes shut as I walked.
From then on, things got a lot worse.
To get to the kitchen, I normally walk through the living room. While I was asleep, Dr. M had decided that the arrangement of the furniture was boring and had chosen to switch it around for the heck of it. Of course, she also decided to remind me after I'd walked through the living room and was in the kitchen, rubbing my newly bruised foot. Then, when she offered to make it up to me and make breakfast, the toaster screwed up and burnt my toast. It was literally ash colored.
See where I'm going with this? Yeah, I thought so.
After breakfast, which I ended up making by myself without the help of the evil toaster, Nudge had called me in an anxious tone and I'd quickly made my way to the laundry.
"Nudge, what's up?" I asked, my socks sliding on the tiles when I made my way into the room.
"Uh, you know how Dr. M had said that I should do the laundry and then she showed me how to do it? And then I'd separated all the whites from the darks really carefully, and I mean really carefully, and then separated all of the Flocks clothes because I wanted to do them separately because it would be easier to tell who's clothes were who and-"
"Nudge! Cut to the chase already!" I interrupted, my patience already thinning after everything else that had happened that morning.
"Here," she squeaked handing me her light pink top. I felt the wet fabric in my fingers and frowned, shrugging my shoulders.
"It's your top." I sniffed it. "And it seems clean. What's the problem?"
Nudge was silent.
"What?"
"It's not my top."
"Oh…you didn't." I said in disbelief, stretching out my shirt and double checking that the color I was feeling was right. "You didn't," I repeated.
"It was an accident!" She said defensively, snatching the shirt back from me and tossing it back in the machine. "I think that I missed one of Gazzer's shirts when I was sorting out the piles…"
"How many of my white things were in there?" I asked with a sigh.
"All of them."
Yay.
"Including your boxers…"
Double yay.
I turned and walked briskly out the door.
"But Iggy, it's okay-"
I tuned Nudge out as I walked down the hall towards my room. I thought that maybe building a good bomb would make this morning better. Boy was I wrong.
"I need to talk to you."
My shoulders slumped as I shut the door to my room and turned to face Fang, avoiding his gaze. I heard my bed creak as he leaned forward. I was in no mood to talk to him, and I just wanted him to get the heck out of my room.
"What is it, Fang?" I asked irritably, leaning against the wall and tilting my head towards the ceiling. I didn't even bother laying the sarcasm on it. I could have said something like 'get in trouble with Max again for doing something naughty? Wink wink,' or, 'so you've finally realised that you're emo and you need help to deal with it?' or even better 'is it about the sounds that you were making with Max last night that kept me awake? 'Cause, dude, we really need to discuss those.' But no. I was in no mood to tease Fang.
"Nothing much," he said shortly, leaning back on my bed. "I just wanted to ask you something."
Was it me, or was there a hint of…mischievousness in his voice? Crap.
"What?"
"What's up with you and Ella?"
I swear that I have never left a room faster in my life. The little voice in my head said something along the lines of 'No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no etc.' and then I bolted out of the room so fast that Fang didn't even have time to react.
But as I ran down the hall and into the living room, I ran into Nudge again and she handed me my shirt and jeans.
"Nudge, I'm not wearing the pink shirt!" I told her, still trying to calm down after my few sentence conversation with Fang.
"But this is the only thing that's clean! Everything else was in the dark pile and I haven't washed that yet!" She said exasperated, obviously getting worked up about this.
"I'll just wear one of the dirty ones. No big deal," I said, shrugging my shoulders.
"Ew, Iggy. That's disgusting. You're not wearing one of those smelly shirts when you've got a perfectly clean one here."
Since when was she obsessed with cleanliness?
"But-"
"Iggy, just wear the pink shirt," Dr. M interrupted from the kitchen. "One day won't kill you."
So, of course, I was outvoted…and ended up wearing the stupid pink shirt. And, of course, as I walked past Fang in the hallway he just had to comment.
"Nice pink shirt, Iggy. Plan on joining a gay parade any time soon? I'm sure that they'd gladly take you."
"Shut up, Fang," I muttered. "Go and have some fun with your girlfriend...if you know what I mean by fun." I raised my eyebrows suggestively at him.
"Oh I will," he replied, surprising me. "And while I'm gone you can go and have some fun with your boyfriend…if you know what I mean."
Damn him.
"I don't have a boyfriend," I said slowly. God, I was going to die. "Because I like someone else. A girl."
I could practically hear the smirk on Fang's face.
"Ella and Iggy sitting in a tree," he chanted. But I was already out the door and into the air. I hoped that flying would lighten my mood a bit.
"Hey Iggy!" I heard Gazzy shout from above me and I flapped harder to join him.
"Hey Gazzer," I said, relieved that it was him and not another member of the Flock. He knew that Gazzy wouldn't be as bad about the shirt. "And before you say anything, Nudge mixed my white clothes with one of your red shirts."
"That explains the pink shirt…" he said and I could hear the cheeky grin in his voice.
"Can we drop it?" I said, trying to keep the harshness out of my voice. "Let's just fly."
And that's what we did…for a while anyway.
"Hey, Gaz?" I asked eventually, turning to him. "What's that sound? It's really quiet…it almost sounds like music."
"Heh…" Gazzy said in a tone that held slight anxiousness. "Just listening to an iPod."
"Where did you get it?"
He was silent.
"Gazzy?"
"Your room."
Not cool.
"Give it back!" I said in annoyance, reaching over to grab it. "If you drop it while we're up here, then we'll never find it!"
"No, Iggy! I'll be careful, I promise!" The younger boy said, fighting to hold on to it.
I managed to grasp the headphones and pull them out of his ears and we stopped flying forward. The next thing that I did was a huge mistake; I yanked hard on the cord.
This caused the iPod to come out of his loose pocket, disconnect from the headphones that I was holding and tumble towards the ground.
There was silence from both of us for a minute as we stared towards the ground. And then Gazzy turned and flew rapidly in the other direction. With the way that I was feeling at that moment, I really didn't blame the kid.
After I had mourned the loss of my iPod, I headed back to the house. Flying hadn't made things any better. I was really getting sick of being wrong.
After that I would have gone straight to my bedroom, but Max and Gazzy had other plans.
"Hey, Iggy!" Max called, and I paused in the living room. "I think that Gazzy did something to your toothbrush in the bathroom…"
Geez, I really wish that I hadn't run into her. I turned and ran towards the bathroom and then…well, you know what happened next so…I'll just skip to the next part.
"GAZZY! YOU HAD BETTER GET YOUR BUTT BACK HERE SO I CAN KILL YOU!" I yelled loudly, chasing him through the house while he screamed and cackled like a maniac. I followed him for a while before Max shouted at us for running in the house because we were going to break something. Dr. M backed her up and then Gazzy darted out the front door and across the lawn. I quickly followed. Why wasn't he taking off?
"Iggy!" he suddenly shouted. "Watch out for the-"
I ran forward, then slipped on something, landing flat on my back. Mud. Damn rain, damn Gazzy, damn day…
"I warned you…" he laughed and I shot a glare at him that would make Erasers run for cover.
Silence.
I sat up slowly.
More silence.
Gazzy gulped nervously but didn't move.
And then I laughed. I leant over, clutched my muddy stomach and laughed. Gazzy joined me and soon the two of us were laughing like idiots.
"Today has been so bad," I gasped out between my laughter. "It has been so bad that it's funny. But you know what else is funny?"
"What?" Gazzy asked in-between his own laughing.
"This," I said as I grabbed his ankle and pulled down hard, making him lose his balance and fall into the mud with me. I laughed harder.
"Oh yeah?" He said, sitting up. Well, so is this," he said, shoving a handful of mud in my face. I grinned and wiped it off with my hand.
"What is going on out here?" Max asked as she, the Flock and Ella made their way out of the house.
Gazzy tapped my hand twice and I smirked evilly in his direction.
"We're just having a…" Gaz and I picked up two handfuls of mud each. "MUD FIGHT!" We shouted together and hurled the mud at the Flock. This was met with screams and gasps, followed by shouts for revenge. Pretty soon we were all spread out in the mud puddle and having a huge, merciless mud battle.
And that is how we ended up covered in mud."
Total said nothing.
"What?" I asked him. "You were the one who asked why we were all covered in mud!"
"Yeah, I asked why you were covered in mud, not what your life story was!"
I guess I really am bad at telling stories.
All well.
Me: Heh...Iggy wearing a pink shirt in a gay parade
Iggy: Shut up, Bell
Me: :D
So, did you like it? This was a product of pure boredom and randomness. And, btw, the quote was:
"Bad news: I dropped your toothbrush in the toilet. Good news: I fished it out using your hairbrush and iPod headphones."
Anyway, R&R? Please? I want to know how this went
Iggy: OR! You could pretend that this was never written!
Me: Pfft. Like that could happen.
-Bell and Ig