The rest of that day, Sam refused to leave Gabriel's side. He felt like a lost puppy following a stranger home. Sam still wasn't sure if this was real or that Lucifer had finally killed him and he was in his perfect heaven living with his love in domestic bliss. But this felt real and he was so confused and hurt.
When they went to bed that night, for the first time, Sam didn't know what to do. It'd been so long since he had slept next to someone that he was unsure of how to act. Gabriel had lied to him. Made Sam think that he was gone forever and Sam was not alright with that. He couldn't bear the thought of losing Gabriel again…it made his anxiety skyrocket.
Gabriel sat next to Sam on the bed, book in hand, and inwardly sighed at the tension rolling off the young man. He knew this whole situation was wreaking havoc on Sam, but there was only so much that he could do. The only thing Gabriel could do now was just be there for Sam as he processed everything. He gently closed his book and placed it on his nightstand and turned to look at Sam.
Gabriel reached out and gently placed his hand on top of Sam's forearm. He gave the young hunter a soft, reassuring smile. "Sam, it's okay. If you're uncomfortable with me sleeping here, I can go sleep in another room." He stroked Sam's arm and carefully watched for any sign of distress.
Sam tensed at the proposition and covered Gabriel's hand with his own, squeezing as hard as he could. He knew he wasn't hurting the angel but he let up anyway and looked at Gabriel for the first time since they got into bed. He didn't want Gabriel to leave because what if he woke up tomorrow only to find that his greatest fear had come to fruition and he would be alone again in that motel room with Dean in the bed next to his own.
Sam couldn't do that again. He just couldn't. The first time almost broke him and he'd be damned if he let himself spiral back down into that dilapidating, soul crushing darkness that he fell into all those months ago. Making up his mind, he crowded into Gabriel's space and framed his face before leaning in and kissed his angel for the first time in months. He moaned at the feeling and the taste of sweet chocolate that he'd missed so fucking much. Sam straddled Gabriel's thighs as he begged for entrance to taste more of that sweetness.
Gabriel was taken by surprise at Sam's bold move and couldn't help but open up to the man he'd missed so much. He let Sam kiss and touch for as long as he wanted before he gently pulled Sam away, stroking his thumbs gently over Sam's cheeks. "Hey, I'm not going anywhere. Sammy, I'm not going anywhere. I promise."
Sam stared down at Gabriel, giving the angel a scrutinizing look. He must have found what he was looking for because he nodded his head before dipping back down to kiss Gabriel again. And this kiss lacked all the desperation of a dying man in need of water from the kisses given before. This kiss, this kiss was filled with all the things that Sam couldn't say, or more like afraid to say. It was a slow, lazy circling of tongues around the others'. It felt like the kind of kiss one gave after being away from the other for too long. And in Sam's case, that's exactly what this kiss represented. It felt like coming home.
When they pulled away, Gabriel looked up at Sam and wiped away the tear tracks on his face. He smiled gently as he continued to stroke. "Hey, you want to talk about it?"
Sam didn't even realize that he'd been crying as he sat back, resting against Gabriel's thighs and brought his hands up and circled them around the angel's delicate looking wrists. He stroked his thumbs over the backs of Gabriel's hands. "Is this really real? I'm afraid that I'm going to wake up any minute and you'll be gone. I can't lose you again."
With a bit of angelic strength, Gabriel flipped them around so that Sam was lying beneath him. He ran his fingers through Sam's silky hair and looked into those beautiful hazel eyes. "Sam, this is real. I'm not going to go anywhere. Not for a long time. Sorry kiddo, but you're stuck with me."
Sam smiled up at Gabriel. And it was an honest to god genuine smile with teeth and dimples. He fisted his hand in the front of Gabriel's t-shirt and tugged, making the archangel sprawl on top of him. "Good", he whispered into Gabriel's ear. "because if you ever do that to me again, I'll kill you myself then bring you back so Dean can have his turn."
Gabriel gulped and then stroked the back of his hand over Sam's cheek. "I won't hurt you like that ever again. You have my word."
Sam leaned into the soft touch, closing his eyes and let Gabriel's words wash over him like a gentle summer breeze. He kept his tight hold on Gabriel's t-shirt and had every intention of getting to know his boyfriend all over again. Sam leaned up and captured Gabriel's lips in a soft kiss.
"I'm still angry with you and hurt." Sam said as he pulled back to look at the angel.
"And you have every right to be. I'll do whatever it takes for you to forgive me." Gabriel said earnestly.
Sam nodded and wrapped his arms tight around the angel. All he wanted was to be held and comforted. He didn't think that he could handle anything more than that at the moment. "Just, hold me. Please? That's all I want for now."
Gabriel nodded and maneuvered around so that he was behind Sam and wrapped his arms around his hunter. "I love you so much Sammy." He whispered into the back of Sam's neck.
Sam snuggled back into Gabriel's body, not caring that he was the little spoon. He just felt so safe wrapped up in his boyfriend's arms and sighed contentedly. He felt like nothing could harm him while Gabriel was with him.
Those months that Gabriel was gone, were some of the hardest months that Sam had ever gone through. They ranked right up there with Dean dying and rotting away in Hell. He felt that everything was trying to get at him and drag him back into the dark.
He took hold of one of Gabriel's hands around his waist. He squeezed it tightly and closed his eyes, trusting that Gabriel will still be there. "Don't let me go back into the dark."
Gabriel squeezed Sam's waist and kissed the side of his neck. "I promise. Get some sleep. I'll be right here when you wake up."
Sam let his body relax, falling into the exhaustion that was lingering at the edges of his brain, just waiting to engulf him in blackness. He didn't dream that night and he welcomed it. A small smile flitted across his face as a blanket of warmth enveloped him and he knew that his angel was watching over him, ready to chase away all the darkness that might come for him. He felt safe again as he let his body get the much needed rest it so desperately needed.
Gabriel gently ran his fingers over the young hunter's face, aged and weathered by all the evil he witnessed at such a young age and yet, so young and innocent as he slept; almost angelic. Gabriel snorted at that but it was still the truth.
He moved a piece of hair that fell into Sam's face and vowed to never leave Sam's side. He saw what Sam went through without him and he couldn't do that to Sam ever again. Gabriel leaned down and placed a soft, sweet kiss to Sam's forehead.
"For as long as you live Sam, you will never be alone or feel abandoned ever again. I'll always be with you, even if I can't physically, you will know that I am there until we can be reunited once again." Gabriel spoke softly and settled down beside his boyfriend, ready to protect him from anything that may come for him.