Gone
Doc hovered over Wanderer longer than he should of, staring down at the face he had known, fresh new tears running down his cheeks. He watched the peaceful set of her mouth, her drawn eyes, and her chest as it drew in calm breathes. She lay on the make shift bed, not as if that was the last conscious pose she had fallen into, but as if someone had lain her there, with great care. It was her final resting pose. Doc closed his eyes and breathed in a racked sob. Putting his hand over his eyes, he tried vainly to control himself, to at least save this part until he was alone. Of course, he would not be alone for a while. Everyone would want to have their fair go at him, for even considering this. Ian, Jeb, Jamie… He did not consider Jared apart of this list. He would have his precious Melanie soon enough. No matter how disgusting Doc found the thought, he could not hate Jared. What if Wanda was inside the mind of someone he loved, what if it was Sharon? With a determined nod and tear streaked cheeks, he picked up the scalpel.
It was not an act, just a test, a test to see if he could. Turning her head gently to the side, he held Wanda's neck to the side, finding the puckered pink scar and tracing down it gently with his thumb. Biting his lip, he made a fast jabbing motion towards the line, making a last minute decision to pull back, only an inch from her skin. What was he thinking? Better yet, what was he doing? He had not known this Melanie, only Wanderer. He had never meet Melanie, only Wanderer. He had never talked to Melanie, never argued with her, never laughed with her, never cried with her… only Wanderer. This face was not Melanie's, it was Wanderers. It was all he had known it to be. If Wanderer would not have it, then death could not be her only choice.
He placed the scalpel down back on the tray and turned Wanda's body over gently as he mused, considering alternatives. He couldn't just completely disobey Wanda's wishes. What would happen when she woke and found him false? Not an option, he decided. He had been considering alternatives ever since Wanda had thought of her hair brained scheme. Another host had been his first plan, but after the mockery of a Tribunal, he decided Wanda would hate him just as much if he made her a double offender. Unfortunately, that had been his only plan and it blew up into the dust. He now considered sending her to another planet. She had already explained, she wanted no other after living as a human, how she could handle no other. But maybe she could find it somewhere, if only she tried. It was a big universe; surely she could find happiness elsewhere?
'You're being selfish,' Doc, growled at his head. Grabbing the scalpel again, tightening his hand around it, turning his knuckles white, he pointed it again at Wanda's neck. He pulled her hair back, held the scalpel ready but failed to keep his thoughts at bay. How was he meant to… end her? Just leave her out in the open? That's what the tanks were for, keeping them live. But would she suffer? He tried to imagine was it would be like. The only thing he could think of was drowning; slow and painful drowning. Would it have been better just to hold her under water? Knowing Wanda, she wouldn't struggle if it was him.
But the doubt was enough. He couldn't do it now, end her right away. He would prolong it for now, only a little while he promised himself. Pulling up a cryotank, he urgently slammed his hands on the buttons and knobs. All this messing around hadn't done any good. Wanda was left sitting there too long, she might wake. He couldn't allow that now. While it hummed into life, he grabbed his scalpel, quickly and surely, made the insertion. He was careful, much more careful that he had been with Sunny or the Healer. She responded to him willingly, pulling much quicker than the others away. For a moment, Doc ignored the bleeding human beside him. His first priority was Wanda. Holding her gently in his palm, letting the tiny silver ribbon stretch in his hand, he stared at her, a grim smile on his face.
"I'll think of something Wanda," he murmured, "an easy way… for us both."
Carefully, he placed her into the tank and closed it securely. He stared at the humming light for a little while before turning slowly back to the girl, Melanie, and put her back together. She was no longer Wanderer. He would just have to accept that. Just as he turned to wipe his hands, a nervous rap came from the entrance. He turned to see a timid Jared there, fist raised to the wall. In his moral dilemma, Doc had forgotten all about Jared waiting in the hallway. Obviously Jared had gotten impatient with the wait. His eyes traveled towards Melanie and back to Doc, too nervous to believe if it was true. Doc gave one solemn nod as Melanie groaned. He turned away, to give them privacy, slowly putting his tools away one by one.
"Ah," Melanie moaned gently, a mix between pleasure and effort. Her head felt weary, a weird effect from the No Pain. Not painful, just heavy and empty, something she did not click towards. Melanie knew there was one thing waiting for her when she opened her eyes and her lips spread into a smile. Slowly, she opened her eyes to see Jared's face hovering above hers.
"Hey," he whispered gently, reaching a stiff hand to brush across her jaw.
Doc ignored everything else they spoke of. This was what they had wanted, their happy ending. He was no longer apart of this story. Try as he might, he could not block the whispers from the happy couple, the reunited pair. No matter how much he longed to leave this story, it was dragging him back in. He heard laughter and squinted his eyes, blocking the tears hanging on the edge. Closing his kit, gently as possible, he stood staring down at the smooth case. One more act, and this was the final, the final act to end the dark deed. He turned and walked towards Wanderer's tank, making up his next actions as he went.