Itachi's Cat

A/N: Okay, this is a randomness fic about Itachi bringing a kitten to the Akatsuki. So, here's the fic!!!!!!!!!!! I am spelling Pein this way. I know some people say it is this way and others say it is spelt Pain. I am spelling it Pein.

**At the Akatsuki Hideout**

Itachi was sneaking through the tents and avoiding everybody. He held a small animal within his akatsuki uniform.

"Whatcha doin, Itachi?" Deidara came up and asked.

"I was going to my tent before you interrupted me," He replied in a bored tone.

"What's in your coat?" Deidara asked.

"Nothing, it's just my hand in there."

"Why is it moving then?"

"I'm moving my hand around. Will you let me get to my tent now?"

"Fine…" Deidara whispered walking off glumly.

After that run in with Deidara, Itachi ran to his tent and open his coat.

"Mew," A small black kitten with onyx eyes said looking up at him.

"It's lucky that no one saw you. Deidara would go nuts and take you away from me," Itachi cooed to the kitten.

"Mew…" The kitten answered in reply.

"I think I will name you Sasuke. You remind me of my younger brother. I miss him a lot. The Third Hokage forced me to kill the entire Uchiha clan. I let my younger brother live. I try to spy on him every day I can," Itachi whispered to the kitten.

The kitten began purring.

"I knew you'd understand. I think I'm going crazy! I'm talking to a frick'n cat! How do you even understand what I'm saying!"

The kitten looked up at him with curious eyes.

**That afternoon**(The kitten's POV)

The kitten looked around Itachi's tent. It didn't understand what had happened but, the black haired guy had left the tent and left him alone.

"I hope Itachi doesn't mind that I'm going to be reading his diary. I don't think it makes any difference anyway… Hello! Who might you be?" A blonde haired boy asked.

The kitten looked up at Deidara with scared eyes.

"Don't be afraid. I won't hurt you. I just want to see how much Itachi really likes you. Wanna play hide-and-seek?" Deidara asked the kitten sweetly.

"Mew…" the kitten replied timidly.

Deidara picked it up and smiled. He walked out merrily.

**Itachi arrives at his tent**

"Sasuke…Sasuke…Where are you?" Itachi called through the tent looking under pillows and blankets. "How many places can a little kitten hide in a cramped tent!"

Itachi notices that his diary is gone and whispers, "Deidara…"

He storms from the tent and stalks to Deidara's.

"Hello! Isn't today lovely? The sky is blue and Pein hasn't yelled at me for being gay, once! Enough about me though. Why have I been graced with your presence? Do you want to be gay with me?!" Deidara asked with a wicked grin.

"NOO! WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY KITTEN!" Itachi yelled.

"Fine, I'm not gay. I'm bi. Tobi has your kitten. He took him to Zetsu. I think he said that Zetsu was going to make dinner for us!"

O.o "You had better bring that kitten back here now! Or I will personally kill you!" Itachi yelled.

"Hahahahahaha! You can't catch me!" Gaara popped up and yelled.

O.o "Why are you here?" Deidara asked.

"I have something you both want…" Gaara whispered.

?????????????????????

"What do you have?" Itachi asked.

"I have a dollar, I have a dollar!" Gaara yelled flashing his money.

Kakuzu runs in. "Where's the money????" He asks.

**Gaara hides his dollar in his sand gourd.**

"Nowhere…" Gaara replies with a guilty expression.

Itachi storms from the tent. He walks to Zetsu's tent and opens the flap. "Give me back Sasuke!"

-.- "What? Sasuke's here?" He asks innocently.

"If you don't hand over the kitten that Deidara gave to you I will personally make sure that all your plants are killed…And I will force Hidan to do it!" Itachi yelled.

"No you fucking won't!" Hidan yelled from the campfire outside.

"Rats…" Itachi mumbled. "Hand over the kitten and no one gets hurt."

"What if we said that your brother showed up here and Pein is questioning him right now?" Deidara asked.

"Why. Wasn't. I. told?" Itachi asked slowly.

"Pein thought that if you were told you would protect Sasuke. He told us to keep it secret though…" Deidara said.

"Sooooo…… Do we give the kitten back?" Zetsu asked.

"Probably. I already read all of his diary and the love notes to Sakura in it. I sent them to Konoha for you!" Deidara exclaimed.

O.O "I'm going to kill you Deidara! You are so freaking dead!" Itachi yelled chasing Deidara into the woods surrounding their campsite. He walked back to Zetsu's tent.

"Do you want Sasuke the kitten back?" He asked.

"WHY DO YOU THINK I CAME HERE?! TO EAT IT!?" Itachi yelled.

"…yes…" Zetsu whispered.

"Why would I eat my own kitten????"

"It would taste good with some barbeque sauce…"

"Give it back!!!!!!!!!" Itachi yelled jumping at Zetsu.

"Mew?" The kitten asked walking into the tent.

"Sasuke!" Itachi exclaimed with tears in his eyes.

"Mew!" The kitten mewed happily.

"Damn…My plan didn't work…" Zetsu whispered.

"You were just going to eat it anyway, weren't you?" Itachi asked.

"…maybe…" Zetsu whispered.

"THAT WOULD BE EVIL AND STUPID!!!!" Itachi yelled.

The kitten hissed at Zetsu.

"Aw…I wanted to eat him…"

The kitten began to attack Zetsu.

"Ouch! Get off of me you stupid cat!"

The kitten hissed and dug its claws into Zetsu's chest.

"I'll tell him to get off if you promise not to hurt him at all. That includes eating him and trying to feed him to your plants. Anything that will hurt or kill this kitten," Itachi said.

"Fine! Just get the hell cat off me!" He yelled.

"Sasuke, get off Zetsu…" Itachi said sweetly.

The kitten looked at Itachi, clawed Zetsu one last time, and walked over to Itachi purring.

"I'm bleeding!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Zetsu yelled as Itachi and Sasuke left the tent.

"You named a cat after me?!" Sasuke asked walking up. Pein was following close behind.

"No………maybe……yes…." Itachi whispered.

O.o "That's not weird at all!" Sasuke exclaimed sarcastically.

"Don't be mean!" Itachi exclaimed holding the kitten close.

"Fine…I'm going home…" Sasuke said walking off.

"You're letting him go?" Pein and Itachi asked at the same time.

"I am letting him go because, he promised that he wouldn't tell about our whereabouts. Why did you let him go?" Pein asked, looking at Deidara who was following Kisame around with a stick.

"I let him go because I don't want to have to hurt him. When the time comes I will die at his hands to avenge our parents' deaths. Why do you think Deidara is following Kisame with a stick?" Itachi asked.

"There's a game on the internet called Poke Kisame and he is just copying it. It really is going to piss Kisame off…"Pein said.

"Considering that Hidan and Zetsu are joining in, we are going to be down three members if they don't stop…" Itachi said.

"Mew.." The kitten agreed.

"Get away from me you fucking bastards!" Kisame yelled.

…………..O.o

"I had better go stop them…" Pein said.

Itachi nodded and walked off into his tent.

Sasuke jumped from his arms and curled up on the bed…

"This has been the weirdest day of my life. It's all because I got a cat…"

The End…

A/N: Hope u liked this!!!!!!!!!! My friend and I thought it was hilarious!!!! Read and Review!!!!!!