"Don't you care about the future anymore?"
The irony of Lily's word choice was not lost on Severus. He bit his tongue from snapping straight back at her. The future. Was it so impossible for her to realise that it was her future he was fighting for? Her arms were crossed over her chest, an uncharacteristic look of defiance colouring her usually peaceful features. "Of course I do." His response was mechanical, as unsympathetic as a tired parent hastily consoling a child following a temper tantrum. He knew immediately that she would be quick to anger, she always wore her emotions on her sleeve for all to see. This was a trait he typically found abhorrent, like most other Gryffindor characteristics, but on Lily all emotions seemed only to intensify her beauty. What he did not expect was for her to crumble in front of him, green eyes watering, resolve quaking right in the middle of the courtyard. "You don't care!" Though the words trembled from her lips, they elicited strange power, cloying at Severus' heart, begging him to understand. "Mary MacDonald… the muggle family that were massacred in Dublin… Can't you see that everything is falling apart?" Lily was now so close he could feel her breath on his face, a frustrating distraction from his own resolve. "Things will settle." His eyes were now deliberately closed, which only hurt Lily more. "For you, maybe. But not for me." He knew she was referring to her unfortunate blood-status, but he was so sure that the Dark Lord would overlook that, if he proved his worth, his importance, surely, he would understand. Severus reached out for Lily, clasping her forearms. "You are so much more than your blood." Her mouth popped open with silent shock, and then her face fell almost as quickly. "You don't know anything." There it was, the rage within blending with the sob that threatened to show her weakness. She turned on her heels and left, refusing to let him see her tears. Not him. He was no longer worthy of witnessing her feelings, could no longer be trusted to see the inner-workings of her heart. Alone in the courtyard he shivered, feeling a cold sensation wash over him. He watched as Lily Evans walked away from him, red hair spilling down her back, glowing under the winter sun like a barely-there ethereal vision.
Much to Lily's annoyance, her first class the next day was Double Potions. She's never been much of an actress, and today was definitely going to test her. Now on a regular day, this was one of her favourite classes of the week, second to Charms but claiming first as it was the lesson when she would spend two full hours next to her Slytherin best friend. Professor Slughorn was always encouraging of co-operation between houses, especially when it was between Lily, his personal favourite, and Severus, the potions prodigy. Would she sit with him today? Yes, she decided, sitting at their usual table. More classmates trickled into the room, but none were Severus. Would he even want to sit with her? She slumped down over her textbook, unbrushed hair splayed out over the desk. It seemed only more and more likely everyday that the growing influence of Avery or Mulciber would overpower hers and claim Severus for their own. Why would a Slytherin, descendant of the Prince family, albeit half-blood, want to sit next to a muggle-born like herself? You are so much more than your blood. What did he mean? Was it a compliment- that all things considered she was an extraordinarily talented witch? Lily didn't need to be told that, she took her magical excellence in her stride, but that skill does not make her worth any more, or any less, than any other muggle-born. Her blood was her own. She refused to feel ashamed for her heritage. She loved her parents, her friends from primary school, and even Petunia. The muggle world was equally as full of wonder as the wizarding one, a fact proved over and over each day as muggles made amazing technological advances and fought for social reforms that enforced equality. Equality, she sighed, wouldn't that be nice. It was as if she had one foot in, one foot out of both worlds. But at this moment it felt that neither world wanted her for their own. At home she had to hide her abilities, which only made the magic that flowed from her seem like the most natural thing in the world. But at school she so desperately craved the muggle comforts of Cokeworth, the mundane conversations about music, fashion and movies with her friends and family… It was an impossible situation. And the impending War only made it more unbearable.
"Lily." She peeked through her hair curtains. Severus. Expression as controlled as ever, eyes just as dark as yesterday. But his voice was warmer, questioning. He stood beside his usual chair, waiting for her permission. "Sev." The use of his nickname acted as an open invitation. Only Lily called him this, and he would always be her Sev. With a clumsy sweep of her arm, she pushed her books to her side, leaving him space to pull out his ridiculously tattered potions books. Slughorn bumbled in, with a quick wave of his wand silencing the rest of the class. There were only about fifteen students in O.W.L Potions, a number which would be reduced down to ten the following year, meaning that the students in the class were all highly skilled and equally as competitive. With another elaborate flourish of Slughorn's wand, a series of ingredients landed on students desks along with a cauldron and various other Potions-making tools. Lily picked up a cloudy, white rock, holding it up to the light, smiling as it reflected a rainbow of colours across Severus' face. "Moonstone." Severus groaned, he had already worked out what they would be brewing today. "This is the sixth time we've made Draught of Peace this year." He muttered under his breath, closing his eyes as Lily made the sunbeams dance across his face. "It's probably for Madam Pomfrey, stocking up for exams already…." Lily mused, eyes following the light on Severus. "And Slughorn's too lazy to do it himself." Severus finished, glaring up at the portly Professor, who was scribbling instructions across the chalkboard. "Draught of Peace!" Slughorn exclaims turning back to his class with gusto, followed by a series of groans and grumbles across the class. Lily nudged Severus, then gestured towards James Potter who already looked half-asleep. "You and Potter are more alike than you think." She teased, Severus gave her a narrow-eyed scowl while Lily laughed, only catching Potter's ever watchful eye. "Sir, maybe you've forgotten, but haven't we already made this potion?" Potter was being intentionally loud, his eyes kept flitting towards Lily, hoping to make her smile. "Right you are Mr Potter, but seeing as the only pair to successfully master it was Mr Snape and Miss Evans, we will have to keep persevering until the rest of you cotton on!" Potter's displeasure greatly pleased Severus, but what pleased him even more was the pairing of him and Lily's names, a perfect pair in potions and in…. "Perhaps we ought to switch up partners then? Give everyone else a fair chance? I'll take Evans." Potter's cheek stopped Severus' whimsical fantasies in its tracks. Slughorn chuckled, "Wonderful suggestion Mr Potter! Alas I would not be wanting Miss Evans to earn your grade for you, and therefore for a pairing of equal abilities I suggest you partner with Mr Mulciber." Potter's face immediately fell, while Lily's soft giggle attracted Severus' gaze. She was so heartbreakingly beautiful.
"I'm still mad at you." Lily said in a matter-of-fact manner while she added three spoonsful of powdered unicorn horn to the brew. "That's enough." Severus ignored her question, using his own hand to close her fist, preventing her from adding the fourth measurement of powder. "I'm following the instructions" He always had to one up her, show off that his knowledge extended beyond that of a text book. Unfortunately for Lily he was almost always right, she glared down at their potion which was melting into the desired pink colour. "Sometimes it's better to follow your instinct than what Slughorn says." This prompted a quick-wit response from Lily, where the words sprung straight out of her mouth without restraint. "Does the same apply to you and your Death Eater friends? Or is it your instinct telling you that its entertainment to slaughter muggles for sport?" That's not fair, he thought to himself, choosing to ignore her dramatized dig at the company he keeps. None of his friends were technically Death Eaters, nor would they bother with killing muggles. Well, except maybe Mulciber, and if the Ministry held onto power for future years, he was definitely promised a one-way-ticket to Azkaban. Severus looked over his shoulder at the brute, Mulciber and Potter were struggling to keep up with the rest of their class, constantly bickering. At this rate neither Pureblood would make it to N.E.W.T level, which would keep both Lily and Severus happy. Their potion had now turned a deep purple, ready for the next stage, Severus held out his hand for the powdered moonstone. Instead, Lily took it upon herself to let it trickle in, the potion fast-fading to grey. "You think there's only two sides. But you're ignoring the fact that there's always light in the dark, and dark in the light. I know all about Dumbledore's secret battalion. How he's manipulating naïve Gryffindors into laying down their lives before they've barely begun." Lily looked at him with a quiet sadness. "How is that any different to what Voldemort's doing to you?"
"Don't say his name." Severus' dark eyes quickly darted around the room, paranoia setting in, wand gripped tightly in his hand. "I'm not scared of a name, Severus." He noted that she had reverted to calling him his given name again, distancing herself from him. "Only you'd be foolish enough to think you could take on the Dark Lord." Like the last embers on a dying fire, the potion glowed orange. In Lily's eyes he saw flames reflected. "I would. Given the opportunity I would kill him. Or die trying." The intensity of her determination worried him. He had no doubt she was telling him her truth.