(A/N) This is a companion piece for Ch. 53 of "The Story of Us". If you haven't read that then the basic summary is that Renee is dying of cancer and Bella has taken Nessie to meet her for the first time. It's all in Renee's POV
Renee's POV
I hadn't seen my daughter since the day she was married over six years ago. They'd told me that she'd gotten sick on her honeymoon, a rare tropical disease, and that I couldn't see her. That had been the scariest time of my life, even worse that the time she fell down those hotel stairs and ended up flying out of window. What kept me sane through it all was knowing that she had Edward and his family looking after her. They were all such wonderful people. Their beauty was nothing short of ethereal, yet there was a sadness about them all that only seemed to enhance that beauty. The first time I saw her with Edward, just after the accident at the hotel, I'd known that he would not simply be her high school sweetheart. Love like that is destined for greater things than small town clichés.
So I'd spent six years hoping and praying that someday I'd get to see my daughter again, and forcing myself to be satisfied with the phone calls that came every few months. During these brief conversations I had been able to discern two important things. First, and most importantly, she was happy. She had her Edward and they were gleefully taking care of a relative of Edward's, a girl called Nessie. For some reason that I couldn't fathom I'd always been intrigued by Nessie (ridiculous of course since I wouldn't have known the girl from Eve). Perhaps I was so curious about her because I could hear the sheer adoration in Bella's voice when she spoke of her. However, it was quite peculiar that as much as she seemed to love the girl she never gave away too much information about her. I'd always just shook it off and reminded myself that that was just how Bella was. She'd definitely gotten that characteristic from Charlie. The second thing I realized was that there was something different about Bella that went beyond the fact that she was happier than she'd ever been. Her voice had changed. Perhaps it was my imagination but her once familiar, raspy voice was now smooth and musical, much like Esme and Alice's. Maybe she'd just picked it up after living amongst them for so long, but something in the back of my mind kept telling me that it was more than that. I knew the instant when Edward walked into the room with her that the little voice in the back of my mind was right.
Bella had always been a pretty girl, even if she'd never realized it, but the woman that stood in front of me was breathtaking. She still looked like Bella, in a way, but she had that same ethereal quality that I'd always seen in the Cullens. Her hair was smoother, her lips were redder, and she had those same tiny bruise-like circles under her eyes that all of the Cullens seemed to have in common. The thing that intrigued me most, however, was the color of her eyes. There was nothing wrong with my eyesight and I could clearly see that she was wearing contacts. The color was all wrong. Bella's eyes had always been so distinctive to me. Everyone had always told us that we looked alike, but those beautiful chocolate brown eyes had come from Charlie. Every time I looked into them I had felt like I was looking into the past, catching a glimpse of the boy I had once loved and had forced myself to let go of. These eyes, however, seemed to have more of a golden quality, like Edward's. It was a strange mix of brown and gold. I shook it off. It didn't matter what color her eyes were. What mattered was that she was here now, although I hated the reason that she had to be.
I guess you could call it ironic that I was l was lying in the hospital bed and dying of cancer. I'd always been the type of person that was proactive about preventing that sort of thing. I exercised, ate all the right foods, and I didn't smoke; I had yearly mammograms, pelvic exams, and a general check up every six months. No one in my family had ever been diagnosed with ovarian cancer but there was a history of breast cancer in my family so I'd been vigilant about checking for lumps. I did everything that I was supposed to do, yet here I was wasting away. I'd already gone through my anger and denial, and I'd bargained with God that I would be a better person if he'd just make this go away. When I realized that the treatments weren't working and that I wasn't going to get better I fell into a deep depression. I tried to push Phil away, in an effort to go ahead and sever the ties that I had in this world, but he hadn't allowed it. He fought and bent until he was almost broken and finally he pulled me out of the darkness. He'd held me while I cried and eventually I had come to realize an important truth. I was going to die, but I wasn't dead yet. He'd begged me to call Bella, to tell her what was going on, but I couldn't do it. She'd spent most of her life worrying and taking care of me, always more of the parent than the daughter, and I was determined that I wouldn't shatter her happiness any sooner than necessary. It seemed, at the end, I had finally started to grow up. When I'd collapsed yesterday, however, I'd known that the end was coming to meet me. I could feel it breathing down my neck, but I wasn't scared. The only thing that I was afraid of was that I wouldn't be able to say goodbye to my little girl. So with a heavy heart I'd asked Phil to call her for me. He'd agreed, but it was clear that he was nervous. Thankfully his sister Trisha had been there to help him. After a brief conversation with her over the phone he'd let me know that she was on her way. A visit from Dr. Davis, my oncologist, let me know that he'd been contacted by Dr. Carlisle Cullen, a world class physician, who had taken a special interest in my case. He asked if I would mind Dr. Cullen's involvement and I'd quickly reassured him that I wouldn't mind in the least. After all, he was family.
"Mom," her voice was obviously pained, yet it was still soothing and musical, "Mom, I'm here."
"Bella," I said, hating the fact that my voice sounded so weak. "Sweetheart, I'm so happy to see you."
Her eyes strained, like she was about to cry, but I couldn't see tears anywhere. I thought that was somewhat strange. Bella hadn't necessarily been the type of person that expressed emotions freely, but I'd seen her cry on more than one occasion.
"Edward," I turned my attention to the handsome man holding her hand. It was strange to think of him as a man. He still looked so much like the boy I had met in the hospital in Phoenix. It was like he hadn't aged a day. "It's good to see you, too."
"It's good to see you Renee," he said sincerely, "although, I'm sorry for the circumstances."
He'd always been so polite.
"How are you?" I asked, trying to force myself to remain conscious by making small talk. "Did you have a good flight?"
"It was fine," Bella nodded as she reluctantly released Edward's hand and began walking toward the bed. "The question is: how are you?"
"Hanging in there," I smiled at her, hoping that if she saw me at ease she might ease up as well.
She nodded slightly and turned toward Phil, "How are you doing? You look exhausted."
"I've been worse," he smiled at her. The liar.
"Is the whole family here?" I asked.
"Yeah," she said softly as she moved to the other side of the bed. "They were all down in the lobby, but I think most of them will be going to the hotel soon."
I noticed that she was being very careful with her hands, as if she were afraid to touch me. I suppose that was understandable. I did look pretty fragile.
"Is Nessie with you?" I felt a flicker of excitement at the prospect of meeting the mystery girl that my daughter loved so much.
Her face lightened for a moment at the mention of the girl, however, it quickly dimmed into apprehension. Was Bella nervous about me meeting Nessie? If so, what could possibly be the reason? I felt my eyes move toward Edward, who had taken up a silent post by the door, and when my eyes met his I felt for the briefest moment like my soul was naked to him. I broke the gaze and forced myself to shake off the feeling.
"She's with us," Bella finally responded. "She's just around the corner from your room with Jacob. She wants to meet you but the hospital is a bit overwhelming for her."
I certainly knew that feeling.
"Jacob is here, too," I tried to keep my voice light.
"Of course," she smiled and for the first time since she walked into the room I saw a bit of a sparkle in her eyes. "You're not going to get either one of them too far away from the other. They think the sun pretty much rises and sets in the other's eyes."
This did surprise me. How old was Nessie again? I couldn't remember Bella ever mentioning her exact age but I'd always thought that she was closer to a girl than a woman. Jacob was just a few years younger than Bella. Surely Bella and Edward wouldn't have condoned a relationship with such an age difference (No I don't care how much of a hypocrite I am. Phil and I are both adults).
"Oh," I said, not wanting to preach from a hospital bed, "I didn't realize Nessie was that old. I guess I'd just always assumed, from the way you talked, that she was a little girl."
"Nope," Bella said a little too quickly, "she's pretty well full grown."
"Strange," I said as the tiredness I'd been fighting started to pull me under.
As I drifted off I was barely conscious of the other three people in my room. Visions of Bella, old and new, floated through my mind. I saw her as she was now carrying a child. When I looked at the child in her arms I recognized her as just a younger version of Bella and her natural chocolate brown eyes. It was the eyes that kept coming back to me. I couldn't be sure how long I'd drifted. Sometimes it would be for a few moments and sometimes it would be for hours. This time I didn't come back to the present until I heard the door open.
"Good timing," a deep male voice said. "You must have read our minds."
"I was just coming to find you," Edward replied.
My eyes fluttered open and the first thing that I was aware of was the enormous man entering my room. I'd never seen Jacob Black in the flesh, but I would have known him anywhere. He looked so much like his father Billy. The cut of his jaw, those high cheekbones, that same mystic sort of aura that surrounded him screamed Billy to me, but his warm, dark eyes belonged to no one but Sarah. As I looked up at him it was like staring into the eyes of an old, long lost, and beloved friend. It was startling for a moment, but not nearly as startling as what happened when I looked down at the tiny figure clinging to his side.
I might have expected that she would resemble Edward, after all Bella had told me that they were related, but what took my breath away were her eyes. Chocolate. Charlie. Bella. Perhaps the scans were wrong and the cancer had actually metastasized to my brain and I was going crazy, but I somehow I knew I wasn't (the true sign of a crazy person, I know, I know). The poor thing looked terrified so I smiled at her encouragingly. The thought of the girl standing before me leaving my room caused a pain to shoot through me that dwarfed the radiating pain that was coming from my lower abdomen. It was simply unbearable.
"Mom," Bella said quietly. "You know Jacob, and this is-"
"Nessie," I cut her off, my excitement growing by the minute. She allowed myself to drink her in before turning my eyes toward Jacob. "It's good to see you Jacob," I greeted him before I felt the irresistible pull to look back at her and into those eyes. "Nessie, you have no idea how happy I am to finally meet you."
It was a moment before she finally spoke.
"Hello G-Renee," she greeted me, however it didn't escape my attention that she'd almost called me something else, "I'm happy to finally meet you, too. I've heard so much about you."
"Don't let that scare you," I replied jokingly, hoping to help her relax.
"It's good to finally be meeting you in person, too," Jacob's voice caught my attention. "I feel like we should have done this years ago."
"We certainly should have," I nodded in agreement. "I was so disappointed that you weren't at the wedding."
"Ah," Jacob shook his head, "I was away feeling sorry for myself. I just couldn't bring myself to watch Bells get married."
I briefly wondered for a moment what that must be like for Nessie, to love someone that had once been infatuated with someone else that she was so close to. When I saw her look up at him, however, I saw the pure adoration and complete trust that colored her features and I knew that it must not have mattered at all. I couldn't help but be reminded of the way Bella and Edward looked at one another
"I see that's cured," I attempted to move my hand to indicate their intertwined hands.
"Yeah," he responded, looking down at her with a grin. "This one is pretty special."
They were so sweet that it almost broke my heart.
"I'll bet she is," I replied as my eyes shifted back to Nessie's. I felt a pang at my heart that I didn't know her better.
Suddenly, the need to be alone with her and to talk to her took hold of me so strongly that I didn't even give it a second thought.
"Phil," I turned to my husband, "would you mind doing something for me?"
"Of course," Phil replied and before I could register that he'd stood up he was at my bedside. "Baby what is it?"
"I would love to have a milkshake," I told him. "Preferably strawberry, but if you can't find one any kind will do."
I felt a little bit guilty at the way his eyes lit up at my simple request. My appetite had been completely non-existent for weeks and getting me to consume anything was a battle that he fought daily. Of course I didn't want the milkshake now, but I needed something that would get him out of the room. I made a silent vow that I would force as much of the milkshake down as I possibly could. It probably would have been easier if I'd request chocolate, but I knew strawberry would take him longer to find. Even though I'd told him any kind would do if he couldn't find the one I wanted I knew that he would tear up all of Nashville if he had to in order to find me a strawberry milkshake. He gave me a quick nod and leaned down to plan a tender kiss on my forehead. I couldn't help the feeling of love that flared up in my chest as I watched him exit the room to retrieve my milkshake.
"Mom, is there anything I can do?" Bella asked, her voice small and childlike.
"Just having you here is enough," I replied sincerely, moving my hand toward her, hoping that she would let go over her fear and take it..
The air seemed charged in that moment. It made me frightened that I'd broken some sort of unspoken rule. However, my fears dissolved when she reached down and took my hand in hers. I felt a shock go through me when I realized how icy her touch was.
"You're freezing sweetheart," I said in amazement. "Is it that cold outside?"
"It's January Mom," Bella tried to laugh it off but I couldn't shake the feeling that she was covering something up. "Plus, you know I've always been cold natured."
"Mmm," I replied, curious but starting to feel the effects of my exertion. "You should wear gloves. You'll catch a cold." I added casually. I suppose once a mother, always a mother.
"Mom," Bella's voice was pained, "Mom I'm so sorry. I should have-"
I'd been expecting this when she walked in the door. There was no need for apologies. I'd never known Bella to do anything cruel and thoughtless and I had no doubt that she'd had her reasons for staying away, especially now that I had seen her. I felt like I'd just found all of my puzzle pieces and now I was staring at them, trying to figure out how they fit together.
"It's okay Bella," I gave her hand a light squeeze. It was hard as a rock but I ignored that fact. "You have no idea how happy you've made me. You're so beautiful, not that you weren't before, but there is something so different about you. You've finally found your place in the world and that means everything to me."
She didn't say anything else and I knew that she was hurting so I kept hold of her hand. I could feel myself beginning to slip under.
"Nessie!" a voice in the back of my mind shouted out to me, jarring me back to consciousness. "You have to talk to Nessie."
My mind began to groggily shift back into focus. Phil had been easy enough, but Bella would be harder. My mind raced as it tried to figure out the best way to go about it. I was relieved when Edward's voice came like an angel's to relieve me of the worry.
"Bella," Edward's voice was gentle, "I think Carlisle wanted to speak to us when we got a chance. Perhaps Renee would like to visit with Nessie and Jacob for a few minutes."
"Go ahead honey," I rasped as her eyes shifted back toward Nessie. "I think Nessie, Jacob, and I will make it just fine."
Bella hesitated for a moment before she reluctantly released my hand.
"I'll be back in just a few minutes," Mama reassured her.
I saw Nessie and Jacob head toward the couch when after Bella and Edward exited the room and I couldn't help myself from making a simple request.
"Nessie," my voice was suddenly stronger than it had been all day, "why don't you sit over here by me so that I can get a good look at you."
I could tell that she didn't want to let Jacob go, but she did as she untangled her fingers and took the seat by my bed. When our eyes met I felt another surge of recognition. Those were Bella's eyes, I'd know them anywhere. What I couldn't figure out was how this was all possible. Bella was twenty-five years old and the girl in front of me looked like she was anywhere from sixteen to eighteen. I decided to try and ask some questions to see if I could figure it all out. It would probably be best if I eased into the conversation by starting with Jacob.
"Jacob," I began. "I haven't heard much about you in a while. The only thing Bella has told me is that you're living with them. How did that happen?"
"That girl right there had a lot to do with it," Jacob nodded in Nessie's direction. "I fell in love with her the first time I laid eyes on her. It's hard not to do."
It made me happy to hear him speak about her so freely. I'd rarely encountered anything as touching as a man who was completely in love and not afraid to show it. Nessie seemed please, although her cheeks turned a familiar shade of pink. Bella's blush.
"Oh no," I said. "We've gone and embarrassed the poor girl. Bella used to turn that same shade of pink when I'd talk about things like that. "Mushy" stuff she used to call it. I'll tell you like I used to tell her, appreciate the mushy stuff while you have the chance."
She gave me a small smile and I could see why everyone fell in love with her. She had a face that was hard to resist. I shifted my focus back to Jacob.
"You look so much like Billy did when he was younger," I told him, "I'm sure you've probably heard that about a million times, but it's true. Those eyes, however, those eyes are all Sarah."
At the mention of his mother I saw a flicker of sadness in his eyes, but there also seemed to be a sort of comfort wash over him. I wondered if he talked about her often. If he didn't, then finally being able to might be good for him.
"Did you know her well?" Nessie asked, her voice laced with surprise.
"Once upon a time," I smiled nostalgically. "When I married Bella's dad we used to spend a lot of time with Billy and Sarah. She'd keep me entertained while they were off fishing or watching whatever sport happened to be in season. She had Jacob's older sisters not long after Charlie and I were married. She was probably the best friend that I had while I lived there. After I left, we sort of lost touch, a postcard or a letter here and there, but," her voice was starting to fade as her eyes moved toward Jacob's, "I can vividly remember the letter she sent me after you were born. She was so excited. She'd always wanted a boy. I think I might still have the letter put away somewhere."
"I'll keep that to myself," he attempted a light laugh. "I'd hate for Rachel and Becks to get jealous."
"She loved you all so much," I told him, trying to catch his eye so he would know how sincere I was. "I wish she were here to see how wonderful you've turned out."
"Thank you," he said softly as a sincere smile played on his lips.
"You're welcome," I replied.
I stared at him for a moment, remembering Sarah, before I forced myself back to the present. I couldn't avoid the slips out of consciousness so I had to focus on the task at hand.
"So Nessie," I smiled at her, pleasantly surprised by the strength I once again found in my voice. "Why don't you tell me a little bit about yourself? You're Edward's family, right?"
"Yes," she nodded, "We're related."
"I've been so curious about you for the longest time," I explained . "Bella has mentioned you a handful of times but she never seems to answer any of my questions." She smiled at me. "Perhaps you might consider satisfying my curiosity."
"I can try," she returned my smile. "I'll have to warn you that I'm not very interesting. You might be disappointed."
"I don't think that's possible," I replied gently. "Do you mind if I ask about your parents?"
"It's okay," her voice was slightly shaky. "My dad died before I was born and my mother died during childbirth."
Hmmm…her parents were both dead. Well that wasn't promising.
"How awful," I squinted up in sympathy. "Who raised you after that?"
"Family," her voice was slightly more controlled than it had been before. "I came to live with G-Carlisle and Esme six years ago."
There it was again. She'd almost called Carlisle something else, just like she'd done to me earlier. What was she trying to say? My mind raced for a moment before it set on one conclusion: she had almost called Carlisle grandpa and me grandma. It was crazy but I couldn't shake it. My mind refused to consider another possibility. I forced myself to continue.
"Not long after Bella and Edward were married," I nodded as I tried to gauge her reaction.
"Yes," she replied simply.
"Were you there when Bella was so sick?" I asked. "That was such a horrible time for me. I knew that my daughter was sick, possibly dying, and I couldn't even see or talk to her. Carlisle and Esme kept me updated, of course, but I was still so worried. It was a long time before she was well enough to even talk to me."
"I was with them not long after she got sick," she said softly. "It was scary for me, too."
I thought for a moment as I tried to figure out the best way to go with my questions.
"You know," I began, "when she first mentioned you to me I would have sworn she was talking about a little girl, yet here you are practically a woman. It's obvious that she and Edward love you very much."
"I love them, too," she said, sincerity saturating her every word. "I can't tell you how much they mean to me."
I looked at her for a moment and studied her face. There was something that she wasn't telling me. I wasn't sure why, but I felt like maybe if her last line of defense was gone I might be able to find the answer.
"Jacob," my voice had once again faded to the weak tone that I despised. "Could you do me a favor? I think I need some pain medication and this call button hasn't been working all day. Would you mind going to the nurses' station and letting them know?"
"Sure, sure," Jacob said, quickly standing up and crossing the room.
I watched as he threw one last look at her. There was a moment where he seemed to be asking her a silent question. She gave him a quick nod and that seemed to be enough of an answer for him as he headed out the door. When he was gone she turned back to face me, my eye catching hers.
"Still up for a few more questions?" I asked.
"Sure," she nodded, although she sounded a little uncertain.
I decided to ease into it with one of the simplest questions I could think of.
"Nessie is a peculiar name," I said. "I've always assumed that it was short for something, but Bella has never told me. Is it short for something? Vanessa, perhaps?"
"Yes," she replied in a low voice, "it is short for something, but not Vanessa."
"May I ask what it is short for?" I felt as though the curiosity was going to burst out of my chest.
She hesitated for a moment before answering. "Renesmee," she finally breathed.
That was the last line of evidence that I needed to come to my conclusion. I didn't know the how's or the why's. I only knew what the concreteness of the conclusion that I had reached.
"Renesmee," I like the way the name rolled off my tongue . "That's pretty. That's Renee and Esme put together isn't it."
"Yes," I nodded. "I suppose it is."
I couldn't help the satisfaction that coursed through me. I reveled in it a moment before I spoke.
"Well," I said, my voice gaining strength as I spoke, "I guess there are three things that I'm now certain of. First, my daughter is something more than human. Second, apparently she did inherit a few things from me. I can just picture myself coming up with a name like that, and third," I paused, "you are without a doubt my granddaughter."
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