Title: Kurt Hummel, 16, straight
Author: Soulless Cas
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: None for now.
Genre: Idk, kinda humor or angst?
Word Count: ~1530
Spoilers: If you didn't watch the first season of Glee, this contains (very twisted) spoilers.
Warnings: denial, kinda ooc-iness, homophobia (sort of), language
Disclaimer: They aren't mine, but I have hopes that this year Santa will finally give them to me. (they do say third time is the charm)
Summary: Every single person at WMHS thought that Kurt Hummel was gay. Kurt was set on proving them wrong, whilst proving his 'straightness' to himself. Kurt-centric, maybe an eventual Klaine.

Chapter One

Kurt Hummel was not gay.

He didn't hold anything against those who were, but no matter what his school colleagues said, he was straight.

So what if perhaps one day he blurted that their football's team quarterback, Finn Hudson, was good-looking? Maybe he was just so damn confident about his sexuality that he could even talk about other guys in that way without being a homosexual.

But of course that the dumbasses that were the WMHS' jocks wouldn't look at it that way.

Therefore, Kurt did what seemed to be the most sensible decision then: he joined the Football Team.

It wasn't hard to join, especially since all players were… Well, bloody awful wouldn't start their description. Kurt had no idea on why they were on the top of the school chain – his sophomore year had started a couple weeks ago and he couldn't remember they ever winning a game. So to say the players were surprised when the guy they called 'fag' joined their team and was basically the reason that the McKinley Titans won a game for the first time in years (not even exaggerating there) would be the understatement of the year, maybe even decade.

So Kurt started gaining respect. His father had a conversation with him after his first game, telling Kurt how proud he was, but that Kurt didn't need to do that or to prove anything to him. Kurt told him that he actually wanted that. His father didn't quite believe him.

But Kurt let it go. His father wasn't the one who should dictate his life and tastes, Kurt was a teenage who could actually take care of his life, right?

…Right?

Wrong.

Somehow, that same Finn Hudson figured out Kurt could sing. Of course the guy couldn't keep it to himself, so he told his girlfriend, the cheerleader Quinn Fabray, and so word spread around McKinley High.

But of course that out of everyone, two particular people had to hear about it.

At first, Kurt was surprised when Cheerio's Coach, Sue Sylvester, called him to her office. He had heard a lot about the woman, but never actually met her.

He knocked on her door just when it was the time she had set – because, really, he might have become a jock but he wasn't uncivilized (nor jock-ey enough to wear those abominations his teammates had the guts to call 'clothes'… Gh.) or impolite, like most – and heard a gruff 'come in'.

He should've been prepared to see her office full of trophies, as the Cheerios had won nationals countless times, but he couldn't stop the gasp from leaving his mouth.

There were awards all over the place. The woman seriously needed another trophy room. Speaking of her, there she was. Kurt eyed her tracksuit with disdain. So what if she was a coach? No excuse for murdering fashion.

"Sit down, ladyface." The blonde woman said, not looking up from the notebook, in which she was scribbling furiously. Kurt sat in front of her, staring with an eyebrow raised.

After a few moments, she stopped and looked at Kurt. From the way she gazed at him, it was more like analyzing, like people did to corpses on those murder-solving TV shows (Kurt almost shivered at the thought) than actually looking. "You're going to join the Cheerios."

Bam. As straight as the rumors claimed her to be.

"Why would I?" Kurt asked, trying to keep his poker face. He felt like she would strangle him at any sign of emotion.

Sue's face also didn't let anything show, but if you asked Kurt once he knew the woman better, he would say she was clearly pleased. "Because there isn't a single sane person in this school who would say 'no' to me, besides we could use your high-pitched voice and, from what my minions said, flexibility and you could use the popularity."

Kurt had never been so proud of his acting skills in his mere sixteen years of life.

When the second person cornered him, he was on his way to Cheerios practice on the following day, wearing that obnoxious cheerleader uniform. He looked down (really, that girl was short) to find a brunette wearing – oh my dear Gucci, is that an actual gray sweater with an orange elephant-shaped stamp? Why is this girl breathing near me?

"Hello, you must be Kurt Hummel. I am Rachel Berry, Broadway star to-be, and I am here on behalf of Glee Club. As captain of the club, I have paid immense attention to the rumors that proclaimed you as a good singer, therefore I ask you to join us, even if you may just sway in the back while I sing my breathtakingly amazing solos." Kurt barely had a chance to raise his eyebrow as the girl (Rachel?) spoke in an inhuman speed.

As soon as she stopped, he turned around and walked away from her.

•-•

Cheerios practice was fun.

Ok, so perhaps Coach Sylvester was really scary, but it was nice. He was even called to sit down with the three most popular Cheerios, Quinn Fabray, Santana Lopez and Brittany Pierce.

"Are you gay?" As unsubtle as Coach Sylvester, that had to be Quinn.

"No." Kurt simply denied, sitting beside the other blonde, Brittany.

"So…" Santana, the nice looking Latina girl, put her chair closer to his and put her hands on his thighs, a little too close for comfort. "Shall we put all that flexibility of yours to good use?" She raised her eyebrows suggestively and Kurt's eyes widened.

"What? No!" He nearly choked on his piece of apple. Looking at the three girls' faces, he realized that he needed an excuse. Fast. 'I have a girlfriend' wouldn't hold Santana if all he heard was true… Relax and find a solution… He thought. Think of nice things… Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens… Think of Lady Gaga – Wait! "I can't because… You're not my type. I prefer blondes, like Lady Gaga." He said, softly.

Crap. He had forgotten that out of the three girls, two were blonde.

Santana smirked, something Kurt didn't like at all. "Then, Britt…"

•-•

One would think that all the stress of the day would fade upon their arrival at home.

Besides only arriving home late from both Cheerios and Football practice, Kurt couldn't just throw everything aside. He had to finish all of his (considerably small) amount of homework, keep up with his moisturizing routine, play straight –

Whoa, whoa, easy there.

He did NOT play straight, he was straight and had a date with Brittany, the hottest –

He couldn't think like that. The girl had parents, for Prada's sake!

Also, Brittany was a sweet girl. So if he was being truthful with himself and he was a straight guy who liked blondes, which he totally was, he would just enjoy his date.

...He just hoped she wouldn't want to jump him straight away.

WHAT? The girl had such an innocent face...

It was mostly the face, though, he ended up figuring out.

"Wanna make out?" Not five minutes into their date, Brittany, said. Kurt gasped, staring at the girl. After a few moments of silence, he decided to tell her the truth.

No, he did not tell her that he was gay. He told her the truth, and that was not it. Why was he even thinking of that? Geez.

"Britt..." He started, unsure. "I've... Neverbeenkissed." He managed to say, but from the realization on the girl's face, she understood.

"Why?" She frowned, and Kurt thought it was sweet. Not exactly a turn-on or a kissable face, but it wasn't because he wasn't straight. He was straight. Yeah, he was.

Oh my Gaga, why did he have to reassure himself so much?

"I've just never found the right person." He watched as realization dawned on her face.

"So, you're like, a romantic?" Kurt stared at the girl. She knew what romantic was? No offenses, but she just wasn't the brightest crayon in the box. "Santana told me about these once. She said they were a pain in the ass who never want to just go at it. But I like you, I don't understand why you would be painful, unless you're, like, masochistic or something, but you don't look like it."

Kurt was speechless. Well, at least she understood.

"Yeah, I am... Romantic, I mean." Kurt mumbled, avoiding Brittany's gaze.

"Lord Tubbington told me it wasn't nice to force people into making out with you, so I'm not going to do it unless you want me to." Kurt looked at the girl. He saw the pure honesty in her eyes (even though he had no idea on who Lord Tubbington was, he was grateful) and made up his mind.

Why the hell not?

"You can kiss me."

So Kurt Hummel had his first kiss. And if you asked him twenty years later, he would still say he did not regret it.

Basically, Kurt Hummel was dating one of the hottest cheerleaders of the school, his schoolmates started respecting him and his father, although a little awkward (why he had no idea), was happy for him.

But somehow, Kurt's life was a mess.

A/N: I kinda like this idea and haven't seen anything like this around, so I just wrote it. This can be either a one-shot or a multichaptered fic, featuring (gasp!) Blaine. It depends on whether people want more or not, idek (I do confess that I am inclined to write more, though, just for fun. That's what fanfiction is about, right?). I think that there wasn't enough character interaction… But I guess it was because most scenes were already on Glee, only slightly changed (like when Kurt came out for his dad), so… Yeah. Anyway, feedback appreciated, I hope you liked it! :)