Updated A/N: 4/3/2011
1st chap of my story has finally been Beta'd. Thank you Project Team Beta. I am eternally grateful. This is being reposted and is now new and improved. As soon as ch2-3 is Beta'd, I will be replacing them as well. Chapter 4 is already written and has to wait to be beta'd since PTB policy is to start with a story from the beginning and beta chapters in order. They also only take one chap at a time so hopefully this process won't take to long. I am anxious to move on with the story. Thank You and Enjoy
Original A/N: I own none and Stephanie Meyers owns all of the wonderful characters of Twilight. I just like to imagine them doing naughty thing, and I finally have the balls to write it all down and post it. I've read at least 150 Twilight FFn and Twilighted stories, and really wanted to do my own. (Yea that's a lot. Obsessed much? Lol! See my favs and you'll know what I mean. I like to thing of them as the crème de la crème of Twilight FFn)
Please be kind. This is my first Fan fiction attempt. Hopefully all my college English courses have paid off (on Fan Fiction Ha! What an investment). I just hope someone actually read this lol!
Thoughts that Edward can hear are in Italics
Broken Promises
Ch 1
Edward POV
I still could not get over how stunning Bella looked tonight. Of all my expectations of how this day would be, how she would look, my imagination had done her no justice. I was so annoyed with Alice for not showing Bella what she looked like before she walked down the aisle. I was not shocked by the look on her face when I showed her her reflection and how stunning she looked. I only wished there was a way to make her see herself more clearly; the way I always see her. She has such beautifully flawless, pale skin and soft, silky locks of hair; I relished in burying my nose into it, and inhaling its essence as she sleeps on my chest every night. It always smells of strawberries and vanilla. It's a constant reminder of scents that had filled my home when I was a young boy. And her eyes? Oh, her eyes. I lose myself whenever I stare into Bella's eyes. It's as if I can see right down into her soul and all her goodness. I may not be able to hear her thoughts, but her eyes give me another way to see into her mind and become lost while I explore its depths. Bella has to have the purest and most wonderful soul in order to be able to love a monster like me. She's always so forgiving and patient and somehow sees the goodness in people first and foremost.
This, along with so many other things, is what has me wrapped around this fragile little human's finger. I would do anything for Bella at her request, give her whatever she wants, and she knows it but doesn't abuse it. That is why I agreed to try to make love to her on our wedding night when she said she would marry me. I could never deny her anything. And that is how I find myself in the predicament I am in now.
As I stand here along the outskirts of the dance floor, and watch Bella being passed around as everyone vies for a chance to dance with the beautiful bride, I find myself going back to the conversation I had with Carlisle last week.
A week ago
I knock on Carlisle's office door at home, hoping not to disturb him. I know from his thoughts that he is finishing a medical journal article that he is reading.
"Come in, Edward. What can I do for you, son?"
"I hope I'm not bothering you, but I was wondering if I could talk to you about something quite personal. Since everyone seems to be away for the moment, I figured now would be best."
Of course, son, anything you need. Please don't be embarrassed, whatever it is. He motions for me to have a seat across from him at his desk. I take a seat and a deep breath before I begin.
''Well, I'm not sure if Alice has mentioned anything to you, but I made an agreement with Bella when said she would marry me that I'm beginning to struggle with as the wedding date approaches. The terms of her change entailed marriage, but she has added her own stipulation to this arrangement as well. I've agreed to attempt to make love to her on our wedding night. It's the only human experience that she seems to care about and I want to do this for her."
"Well, Edward, Alice did mention it to me briefly, but wasn't very detailed about it. She said you'd be coming to me for advice and said I needed to be prepared because my role in helping with this agreement was vital to your success."
I nod at him in understanding and wait for him to continue.
How can I help? What would you like to know?
"What can I do to make sure I stay grounded and don't lose control while making love to Bella? I've heard the thoughts of the other couples in the house when they are engaged in such activities. I try not to listen, but that can be quiet difficult sometimes. I know that all of Jasper's bite marks are not just from newborns. Alice can get carried away sometimes, and from her thoughts, it seems that she's so consumed in their passion that she cannot help it. What if that happens to me while I'm with Bella?"
"Son, I've told you this before; your control is almost as good as mine."
"I highly doubt that, Carlisle."
"Listen to me, Edward. You don't give yourself enough credit. I may be around blood everyday, but none of it calls to me the way that Bella's blood calls to you. She is your singer, and somehow you manage to control yourself so well around her and have desensitized yourself to her smell over time. From the research I have done and the contacts I have made, it is unheard of, Edward. You lie in the same bed as her every night. I can't imagine the two of you not being a little physical with each other sometimes. What's that like, if you don't mind me asking? That physical part of your relationship, that is."
"Well— we have gotten into some heavy kissing, but I'm careful not to expose her to my teeth as I'm afraid she may cut her tongue. It's also difficult for me since I'm constantly swallowing back my venom to ensure that she does not ingest any, since I don't know what that will do to her. There have been a few times where Bella would insist that we practice for our wedding night and go a little further, and she will..."
Please don't be embarrassed Edward. I'm a professional. No one is home to hear you.
Sighing, I continue. "Okay. She'll start to rub herself along my leg and..."
And what, son? What are you trying to say?
"And... Icansmellherarousal." I mumble quickly.
"Excuse me?" Please, repeat yourself?
"I can smell her arousal, Carlisle. There, I said it. I can smell her arousal, and it's—it is— intoxicating. Almost as much as her blood. That's usually when I pull away and decide we've gone far enough for the night."
"I see. Believe me, I know what you mean. That's not something that will go away once she is changed. It's the pheromones that her body gives off in response to you. Esme drives me crazy when she—"
"Carlisle, please. It's bad enough that I have to hear it in your thoughts. I know about all these things. I just don't know if I can control myself if things become more intense and her smell becomes more potent as she is aroused more. That, mixed with her blood will be the death of me—or the death of her, which is what I'm afraid of."
"Have you thought of approaching it the same way you handled the smell of her blood? That is, by desensitizing yourself to it as well."
"Well, there have been times when she's asleep, and she begins to dream of me. She's moaning my name, and then I'll smell it. Her arousal, that is. I'm assuming she's having a dream of a sexual nature involving me. It hits me like a ton of bricks. I move myself to the other side of the room, or take that opportunity to go for a short hunt. I've even had to..." I hang my head shame.
Had to what?
"I've even had to take matters into my own hands to relieve myself in order to return and be sure that I'm fully in control. I feel like such a pervert standing outside her room, just off into the woods, where I can still hear her, and masturbating. I've tried to stay in the room with her before when this happens, but it all becomes too much, and I have to leave. It's just so out of character for me. In all my years I have never felt the need to take care of my sexual needs myself. She awakens things in me that I have not felt before. Human things that I have forgotten about, or recognize to be human from the minds of others. It terrifies me, not knowing which side of me will awaken when we try to make love; the human side she brings out in me, or the vampire side that will be caught up in lust and blood."
"Edward, human minds can become clouded with lust as well. It's not always all passion, love and romance for them. They can get rough during the act and hurt their partners as well."
"Yes, I realize that, but they won't kill their partner in the process, or snap them like a twig from applying too much force."
"And I'm assuming you have not discussed this with her."
"No. I don't want to embarrass her. I also don't want her to know that I'm questioning my ability to keep my end of the deal. I want to marry her. I want to make love to her the way she wants me to; the way she deserves. I want to change her and be with her forever. I just don't know how to get past this in order to begin our future together."
Perhaps she'll understand and renegotiate.
"NO! No, I can't do that to her. I'll give her anything, Carlisle, anything. I just have to figure out a way to make this work. I want to give this to her. I owe it to her; to us. Especially after what I did to her when I left. It's my way of making it up to her. Do you understand? Can you help me?"
"I understand, Edward. What I also understand is that when you're in close proximity to her, the smell of her blood and the smell of her being excited sexually, combined together, becomes overwhelming and you have to get outside in order to get your head cleared and be in control once again. Correct?"
"Yes."
"And Bella's room is quite an enclosed area, so I can imagine her scents build up to be quiet strong in there. Which is why you have to eventually leave to collect yourself."
"Correct. It's actually what helped me deal with her blood; the scent is quite potent in there because it's where she spends the most time. When I spend too much time away from her, I have to work up my tolerance again. "
"Well, perhaps you should allow yourself to be in a setting where the air won't begin to permeate so much with her allure, as you put it. Perhaps an outdoor setting would be more suitable for your first time together?"
"Carlisle! What kind of a gentleman would I be if I deflowered my wife and consummated my marriage outside like she's some kind of animal?"
That's not how I meant it, Edward. I'm sorry to offend you. I'm only trying to help. "What did you have in mind for your honeymoon?"
"Well that was the other thing I wanted to talk to you about. I was thinking Isle Esme. That is, if it's okay with you and Esme, of course."
I think it's a wonderful idea. Esme will be thrilled. But perhaps...
"Perhaps?"
"Perhaps you should consider being closer to home for your first time. You seem so unsure of yourself. Maybe staying close by will help alleviate some of your fears, and if something were to go wrong, we're all close by to help."
"Thank you, Carlisle. I appreciate it."
"Of course, Edward. I will let you know if I come up with anything else. Please take my advice into consideration. I know you can make this work, son. I have faith in you."
Present
After that conversation, I had begun to plan my honeymoon and, most importantly, our first night together as husband and wife.
Carlisle had a good point. If we weren't in such tight quarters, that would prevent the essence of her blood and arousal from becoming so potent, then perhaps I could pull it off.
When Alice saw my idea, she came to me and told me how perfect it would be, and that Bella would love it. She even offered to help with the arrangements. I told her no. I had to do this all on my own, and I did.
Once we were done with the dancing, the cake, and all the other traditional wedding mumbo jumbo Alice had planned, I would whisk my beautiful bride away to a perfect location for what should be the most perfect wedding night.
Except I know that I can't do it.
I'm scared.
Scared shitless, if I must say.
All the planning and the prepping and the self-pep-talks are all beginning to mean nothing as the night draws closer to an end.
"What are you thinking about?" Bella asks, as we move slowly together on the dance floor.
I lie.
"About how beautiful you are tonight, and how I still can't believe you are now Mrs. Cullen."
"I know. I still can't believe we finally did it. And I'm so happy. Everyone here tonight is so happy for us too; it just seemed so impossible to fathom before, and now here we are. Mr. and Mrs. Edward Cullen."
"Bella, you have no idea how happy I am to hear that. It means so much to me, love. I've told you before, and I'll tell you again, that I have walked this earth, in what I now know as hardly existing, until I met you. I've waited for you for so long."
"Well how unfair for you then."
"How is that?"
"Well I've only had to wait eighteen, almost nineteen, years for you. I think I got the better end of the deal." She giggles and it warms my unbeating heart to hear her so happy.
"Please. I'm hardly a prize to be won, Bella. Believe me when I say I got the better end of the deal. You'll have to put up with me for the rest of eternity."
"Who's not seeing himself clearly now? And you talk about me. Edward, you are more than a prize to be won. You are the most amazing man. And I know that you think you're a soulless monster, but you're not. I see it, your family sees it, and it's time you begin to see it as well. I still don't know how someone as plain as me could catch the eye of some one as beautiful as you." She reaches up and places a small kiss on my lips.
"Well, it looks like we have something to work on together during our eternity. I will convince you that you are as beautiful as I see you, and you will continue to try and make me believe that I am not the soulless monster I have always seen myself as. "
"Deal. So are you gonna tell me what you have planned for tonight?"
"Not a chance, love. You'll see it all soon."
We were rocking back and forth from side to side, dancing slowly, her head lying against my chest. I could feel everyone's eyes on us, as well as hear their thoughts of how lovely we looked together.
"Well it better be worth it, because Alice had me going crazy last night with the little fashion show she had me endure."
"Is that so?" I look down at her as she looks up at me.
"You mean you didn't see any of it in her head?"
''No, she's been thinking lewd things about her and Jasper to keep me out of her head whenever she suspects I have an opportunity to peek."
Bella laughs as I twirl her away from me and bring her back into my arms again.
God, this woman is so beautiful.
Actually, the only thing Alice has let me see is the way Bella and I will be together later on this evening. She keeps trying to reassure me that all will go well since she knows I've changed my mind so many times during the reception.
I lead Bella to a seat under the gazebo in our backyard that has been decorated with lights and flowers for the evening. I have her sit across my lap and put my arms around her waist.
I look up at her, caress her cheek with the back of my hand, and then sweep a piece of loose hair behind her ear as I place a light kiss on the tip of her nose.
"You are just so stunning tonight. You took my breath away when I saw you coming down that aisle. If I had a beating heart, it would have stopped."
She returns my kiss with one of her own.
At first it's a small chaste kiss on my lips. I know no one is around as they're trying to give the newlyweds some privacy, so I let her continue.
She begins to lick my lower lip with her tongue, then places small kisses on each corners of my mouth. She then sucks my lower lip into her mouth, making me moan with pleasure.
How am I going to deny her tonight, when she drives me crazy with desire? Desire to consume her fully.
I allow my tongue to enter her mouth, being sure to swallow back any venom that's pooling in my mouth first. She massages my tongue with her own, and then it hits me. I immediately smell her becoming excited, and I pull away, but not before I leave a small kiss on her lips and trail down to her neck so she won't feel rejected.
"Bella, what are you thinking about, love?" I mumble against her neck.
"I was just thinking that I can't wait 'til we're alone tonight. I have butterflies in my stomach when I think about it, and I can feel myself getting excited," she purrs into my ear in a low, husky voice as she's wiggling herself in my lap.
"Bella!" Where is this boldness coming from?
"Oh come on, Edward. Should we really be so shy about it anymore? We are husband and wife now. I know you're old-fashion, but even for your era it was okay for a married couple to be more forward with each other. Am I right?" she looks down at me, batting her eyelashes, waiting for me to answer.
"You're right. It's just gonna take some time getting used to." I run my fingers through my hair in frustration at myself.
"Well, I'm looking forward to it. I kinda like the idea of you talking dirty to me. It gets my girly parts all tingly." She smiles down at me with a look of desire in her eyes.
Bella never ceases to amaze me. I never know what will come out of her mouth or what's going on in her head.
"It seems someone was up fantasizing last night instead of getting some sleep?" I ask her, trying to play along. I had to stay away last night, at Alice's command. In honor of tradition, I was not to see the bride the night before our wedding. Not that anything about Bella and I was traditional.
"Well I couldn't sleep without you, so I had to do something. What better way to kill time than to imagine my wedding night with you? It was kind of impossible not to, with all the lingerie Alice had me try on last night. I told you, it was like a fashion show. And when I got home last night, all I could do was imagine wearing it all for you. Alice even had to order some duplicates of some of the outfits because she said they were going to get ruined when you rip them off of me. She had some visions of this when I tried certain ones on."
Oh man, I am in trouble. I could feel myself growing hard inside my trousers at the image she just put into my head. She was breaking my resolve. Alice must have put her up to this. What in the world did they teach my Bella last night? I've heard of the type of things that women do and discuss at bachelorette parties, but they said they were just gonna have a girls night of pampering while us guys hunted. This is not what I was expecting. Perhaps more went on than what I was told would happen. Maybe that's why all the female members of my family were blocking my thoughts as well. I'm in real trouble.
"Edward?" Bella nudges me gently to bring me out of my inner thoughts.
"Huh?"
"Do you like the idea of me wearing lingerie for you? Have you ever thought of it before?"
I swallow hard before answering, trying to get some composure and play it cool.
I lie. Again. "I have occasionally thought about it before once or twice."
I'm lying because I'm too embarrassed to admit that I think about it all the time. Especially when I have to satisfy myself in the shower before going to spend the night in Bella's bed and 'practice' for our wedding night, as she calls it.
"Really? Because just the idea that you've imagined me that way has me really turned on."
Oh man, oh man. What did they do to my innocent Bella?
"I can tell it gets you excited." I said, as I continue to kiss up and down her neck and all around her collarbone.
"Really? How?" Bella pulls back to look at me.
"I can smell you, Bella. I can smell your arousal." I whisper it against her lips.
What better time than now to bring up how she intoxicates me so much that I may not be able to control myself tonight without hurting her?
Bella blushes and I can tell she's getting embarrassed. So much for all that boldness she had a moment ago.
"Oh my god, Edward." she says in one long, heavy breath, shaking her head back and forth.
"Don't be embarrassed, love." I hold her chin up with my index finger to keep her from looking away.
"So all those times we were making out in my bed..."
"I can tell when it gets you sexually aroused. That's usually my cue for us to back off for the night. It's actually very appealing to me, much like your blood is; perhaps a little too appealing sometimes. That mixed together with your blood and in your little room..."
"Wow, Edward, I had no idea. Is it harder on you? I'm so sorry," her voice is heavy with concern now.
"Don't be sorry, Bella. It's your body's natural reaction to me. I'm glad to know that I do that to you. It's what it does to me that I wanted to talk to you about."
I know that I told Carlisle that I didn't want to discuss this with Bella, but that was before, when I was so sure that I could find a way to give her what she wants to make her happy. Right now I feel I had no other choice.
"Oh Edward, Bella," Alice sings as she approaches us.
Of course Alice chooses now to burst our little moment of privacy.
"I hate to ruin your little moment of bliss, but you have wedding guests and duties to attend to," she nags.
"Go away, Alice. Ten more minutes please?"
No way, Edward. I'm not gonna let you disappoint Bella. I've shown you the vision in my head dozens of times already. It's going to be fine. When have my visions ever let you down? Have some faith in yourself, Edward.
Alice grabs Bella by the hand and yanks her off my lap."The sooner you get your Bride and Groom duties taken care of, the sooner you two can be alone. I'm only helping you out." she says, smugly.
"You're right, Alice. Edward and I can continue our little discussion later when we're alone." Bella agrees and walks away hand in hand with Alice. She winks at me as she looks over her shoulder.
You'll thank me later, Edward. You'll see.
Evil little vamp of a sister. Now what am I going to do?
I'm left standing here as Bella and Alice make their way back towards the reception area. They're walking with their arms linked together and whispering to each other. I know it has to do with whatever just happened between Bella and me, but I can't make out what's being said. Too many thoughts surround me, and the M.C. announcing the festivities is too damn loud. So much for my great vampire hearing.
I get myself together just enough to join Bella back at the reception.
We take more pictures while cutting the cake. I lovingly feed Bella a piece, and she decides to smash my piece all over the side of my face. She claims that she's saving me from having to eat something that I'll bring back up later on. I guess I should thank her, but I have no doubt in my mind that she enjoys it and would have done it even if I could eat a bite of our wedding cake.
All the single men gather as I get ready to throw the garter. Bella blushes as I lose myself under her dress and come back out with the garter in my teeth.
Charlie catches it. Okay, it actually lands on his head and he blushes as much as Bella does.
When Bella throws her bouquet, Tanya catches it.
Charlie and Tanya share a dance together and he is actually pretty smooth on the dance floor, twirling and dipping her.
The Chief's got moves. Clearly Bella did not inherit this from him.
Alice whisks Bella away from me for the final time of the night. They leave to change her out of her wedding gown and into something more appropriate and comfortable.
I take this moment to figure out a game plan, but I don't want Alice to see my decision and try to stop me or convince me otherwise.
I figure I'm going to take Bella to the special place that I have planned, let her see that I fully have intended to follow through with my promise, and pray that she understands that this is a last minute decision. Then I can explain my reasoning to her as I was trying to do under the gazebo earlier, and that I am only trying to protect her.
Standing at the bottom of the stairs, I hear Bella as she begins to descend. She looks like an angel floating down towards me.
She's changed into a white silk dress that's sleeveless and low cut enough to show off her neck, collarbone, and top of her cleavage. It hugs the curves of her breasts tightly until it reaches just under her bust line where it then flows out and stops right above her knees, showing off her gorgeous legs. I'll have to tell Alice to buy more dresses for Bella to wear.
I shake myself out of my Bella-induced daze and offer her my arm.
''Wow, Bella, you look absolutely stunning. Almost as stunning as when you were coming down the aisle.'' I whisper into her ear.
By now, everyone has gathered outside to see us off. Bella hugs her mother and father and promises to call as soon as she knows where we're going. Carlisle clasps his hand on my shoulder with a squeeze and reminds me to call if I need anything. I load Bella into my Vanquish, and we're off to begin the honeymoon that I have planned, but possibly cannot give her. I take off with her, thinking in my head that I'm leading her towards a broken promise and possibly a broken heart.
What a way to start off my job as a husband.
A/N So what do you think? Any Idea on what Edward has planned? Think Bella will be hurt or understanding? If you're reading, please review and let me know if I should continue, or if I am just wasting time. (sigh)
Next will be Bella POV and you'll find out what went on during the girls night and what made Bella so bold (HEHE)
Thanks
Hunybmom