===============
REMEMBER ME?
===============
Janet opened the box and sighed. His glasses caught the sunshine streaming through the window, winking at her provocatively. She gently picked them up and put them on, turning towards the window. The tree outside swam dizzily before her eyes. She took them off and blinked. Was it really a year since he'd died? The tears pricked at her eyelids. When he'd gone she'd been inconsolable, unable to function on anything but the most basic level for weeks, but slowly, with the help of Cassie, the pain had become less sharp. Now she could think about him and remember happy times. She was making progress.
She replaced the glasses in the box and touched his toothbrush, twisting it around in her fingers. They'd only been dating for a few months when he'd died but it had been long enough for her to fall head over heels in love. She lifted the toothbrush and sniffed it. Even after all this time it still smelt slightly minty. Janet instantly remembered that smell on Daniel's breath when he leaned in to kiss her. She closed her eyes and smiled. At least they'd had a few months… Sam and the Colonel still weren't together.
Putting back the toothbrush she looked into the box – a few books, some aftershave and, in the bottom of the box, a couple of changes of clothes. She'd never opened the aftershave – that smell would be just too evocative. Straight after his death, everything she saw seemed to remind her of Daniel – the gate siren, the other members of SG1, coffee… the list was endless. After a few weeks, Cassie had suggested she should collect together all the stuff he'd left at her place and put it in this box, and there it had stayed in the bottom of her closet, except for a photograph of them together taken the week before he'd died. Janet had refused to put that away, and had left it in pride of place on her bedside table.
And now, a year on, she cried less but the yawning ache was still there, a gaping chasm inside her that wouldn't go away. Cassie had dropped unsubtle hints that she ought to move on, find someone else - she'd even mentioned one of her teachers was single and winked at her mom theatrically – but Janet just wasn't interested. In her mind, no-one could possibly measure up to Daniel. He'd been witty, intelligent, sensitive… accident prone… She smiled to herself. Yes, if he hadn't spent so much time in the infirmary they'd never had got to know each other so well.
The phone rang, disturbing her thoughts. Probably Cassie wanting a ride home, Janet thought as she walked across the room and picked it up. "Hello."
"Doctor Fraiser?"
The Texan accent was unmistakeable. "General Hammond… sir." But why on earth was he calling her at home? There had to have been some kind of disaster on base for him to call her when she was off duty. "What's wrong?"
"Don't panic, Doctor." Hammond's voice was gentle, almost teasing. "For this is one of the few times in recent years I bring good news."
"Sir?" Janet was completely baffled now. She couldn't think of anything good that would warrant an after hours phone call.
"SG1 have found someone…" He hesitated, and Janet thought she heard a slight catch in his voice. "Are you sitting down?" he asked quietly.
She sat down obediently on the edge of the bed. "I'm sitting, sir. Who have they found?" She felt herself becoming impatient, a tiny ray of hope beginning to take root inside her.
"They've found Doctor Jackson, alive and well."
She gasped. Alive? Daniel was alive? Her heart pounded, her mouth went dry, then her world began to spin. Grateful that the General had insisted she sit down, she put her head between her knees. Then she realised that Hammond was still talking. "Sorry, sir. Could you repeat what you just said… I was kind of… overcome for a moment."
"That's perfectly understandable, Doctor. Take all the time you need." She could tell he was smiling, in fact he sounded positively indulgent. "I was just saying that though apparently in good health, Doctor Jackson seems to be suffering from amnesia."
"What does he remember, sir? Does he know who he is?" Janet's stomach lurched. Would he remember her?
"I only have a preliminary report from Major Carter, and she says, no, he doesn't know who he is, nor does he recognise any of his team-mates. They are currently trying to get him to return to the SGC with them."
"Do you need me to come in?"
"Not at this present time, Doctor. It's night where they are so I don't think Doctor Jackson will be coming back within the next few hours. Try and get some rest and I'll see you in the morning. I just thought you'd want to know…"
"Yes, thank you, sir. Good night."
"Good night, Doctor."
Janet replaced the receiver and stared at the box. He was alive. He was alive. She kept repeating those three words over and over like a mantra. He was alive. If she said it enough times perhaps it might become a little more believable. A year ago, she'd watched him die right in front of her eyes and she'd been powerless to do anything to stop it. She'd known something strange had happened at the moment of death, but afterwards, she'd been hard pushed to describe it. There had been a bright light and an overwhelming feeling of peace… and he'd gone.
But now he was back. Would he remember her?
==========
It had been a long night. Janet hadn't slept a wink, wondering what Daniel would be like, if he still looked the same, smelt the same, felt the same. And would he feel the same about her? She still loved him, she loved the man who'd died. What if he'd changed beyond recognition? What if he never got his memory back?
Sitting at her desk, Janet fingered the glasses she'd taken from her box in the closet and placed them carefully in front of her. She'd brought them just in case. He might have some with him, but somehow she doubted if there had been many opticians where he'd been. And god only knew where that was. A noise from the infirmary made her look up. She quickly picked up the glasses and slipped them into her pocket; it'd be tragic to lose them now.
Janet watched from the privacy of her office as the Colonel and Sam led Daniel into the infirmary. Sam had a protective hand on his back, gently pushing him forwards. The concern on their faces was obvious; Sam's glance darted all over the place nervously, presumably looking for her. Janet's heart sank as she watched Daniel look round, as if he'd never set foot in the place before. So he still had amnesia. She took a deep breath and walked out of her office, trying to project more confidence than she felt.
He turned towards her at the sound of her footsteps and Janet's heart almost stopped. Those eyes. Those eyes with no glasses covering them and masking their beauty. Those beautiful blue eyes. She hadn't thought she'd ever see them again. Suddenly she realised she was shaking like a leaf. She knew running up to him and throwing her arms around him was totally out of the question, but boy, did she want to do it. The blue eyes stared at her, without a hint of recognition.
"This is Doctor Janet Fraiser," Sam said. "She's been your physician for five years."
"Yeah," said the Colonel, "You and her are…" He paused when Sam dug him in the ribs with her elbow. "… good friends." The Colonel frowned and shot Sam a look as if to say that was what he'd planned to say all along. Janet didn't believe him and judging by the look on her face, neither did Sam.
Daniel smiled at her. Janet's stomach did a neat little flip-flop. She managed to compose herself enough to give him what felt like a pretty half-hearted smile back. "Hello," he said quietly, still looking her in the eye. She swallowed. That was what she thought of his bedroom voice, all soft and fluid, ready to caress and tease. It brought back memories….
"Hi," she blurted out. What was it she was supposed to do now? Her brain was somewhere else, not in the infirmary… and it appeared to have completely forgotten all of her medical training. She was vaguely aware of Sam and the Colonel leaving them alone.
"So what happens now?" he asked, smiling again and turning her insides to mush.
"I check you over and make sure you're as healthy as you appear to be." Janet looked at him carefully, trying hard to keep her expression neutral. "Don't you remember anything about your life here?"
He shook his head. "No, I don't even remember Sam and Jim."
Janet frowned. She didn't remember Jim either. "Do you mean Jack? Colonel O'Neill?"
"Yes. The tall guy with the bad jokes and the sarcasm. He says I owe him fifty bucks."
She smiled. "I think that's extremely unlikely." He looked her in the eye and grinned and for a split second there seemed to be a flash of something. Something she couldn't quite put her finger on, but something that reminded her forcibly of the old Daniel. The Daniel she loved. For the first time, she began to hope that the Daniel she remembered was still in there somewhere.
========
Somehow or other, she got through the examination, checking him over very carefully. Her hands trembled with barely concealed nervousness every time she had to touch him. She was scared to death he'd notice, but if he did, he was polite enough to keep quiet about it.
Janet had just finished when the Colonel walked in. "Well, I'm happy to say, sir, that he's in perfect health, except for one small exception..." She fished in her pocket and produced Daniel's glasses, the ones she'd cherished for the past year. Handing them to him, she watched as he put them on.
He raised his eyebrows. "Wow, that's different."
Janet smiled to herself as the Colonel attracted Daniel's attention and said, "You recognise me now?"
Daniel peered at the Colonel closely then asked, "Has your hair always been that way?"
O'Neill looked hurt. "What way?"
Daniel kind of shrugged and said, "Never mind."
Watching their banter, Janet waited and hoped that Daniel would ask why she had his glasses. That would be an ideal way to broach the subject of their relationship, but to her dismay he didn't say a word. With a quick 'goodbye' and 'thank you' he just followed the Colonel out of the room.
======
The next morning Janet was sitting at her desk, staring into space. He'd shown no sign of recognising her. None at all. She wasn't sure what to do. She wanted him so badly she could taste it. She wanted to kiss him, feel him, touch him… make love to him. He was so close but so out of reach. She slumped forward and rested her head on her hands.
A soft knock on her open door made her shoot back up to a sitting position. Daniel stood in the doorway, a gentle smile on his face. "Am I interrupting something?" he asked quietly.
"No," Janet stammered. "Haven't been sleeping well. A bit tired, that's all." And that's the understatement of the year, she thought. She'd had two nights of staring at her bedroom ceiling and having erotic fantasies about the man currently standing in front of her. "Come in," she added.
He stepped into the room and walked over to the desk. "Doctor… Janet…" he hesitated. "Did I call you Janet… before?"
She nodded. "Yes."
"Janet." He smiled, as if savouring the word. Janet felt her stomach flutter slightly at the look on his face. "Janet, I meditated with Teal'c for a while last night. I remembered things. But I'm not sure if they're all true. It's all so confused. Images, sounds, snatches of things. Nothing coherent."
She felt her heart lurch. Had he remembered about them? "Yes?" She tried to keep her voice neutral.
"I remembered Sha're. I know she's dead." A flash of pain crossed his features, then he looked her straight in the eyes. "And I remembered you."
"Me?" Janet could hardly get the word out.
"You had my glasses," he said softly. It was a statement, not an accusation. He licked his lips and leant over the desk. She saw him swallow hard, then he reached over and brushed his hand against her cheek. "Please tell me if I've got this wrong."
She shook her head slightly and pushed her head into his hand, increasing the contact. "No, Daniel, you don't have it wrong."
He smiled. That special smile that she liked to think was only for her. "I'm so glad." He moved towards her and brushed her lips gently with his, releasing ripples of sensation through Janet's body. When he pulled back, she let out a sigh at the loss of contact. Janet opened her eyes to find him perched carefully on the edge of her desk, avoiding the piles of paperwork that were covering it. "I still don't remember everything, but I remember loving you, Janet. I'll just need a little time."
Janet suddenly felt giddy, high on life. Wave after wave of relief crashed over her. She wanted to run out into the corridor and shout that Daniel had come back and he still loved her! Standing up quickly, she walked round the desk so she was directly in front of him. "I'll have to try and think of something to jog your memory, won't I?" She grabbed his shirt front and pulled him to her for a bruising kiss. When they broke apart, they were both breathing hard. "Helping any?" she asked playfully.
He grinned. "Kind of… but I think you might need to do it again…"
REMEMBER ME?
===============
Janet opened the box and sighed. His glasses caught the sunshine streaming through the window, winking at her provocatively. She gently picked them up and put them on, turning towards the window. The tree outside swam dizzily before her eyes. She took them off and blinked. Was it really a year since he'd died? The tears pricked at her eyelids. When he'd gone she'd been inconsolable, unable to function on anything but the most basic level for weeks, but slowly, with the help of Cassie, the pain had become less sharp. Now she could think about him and remember happy times. She was making progress.
She replaced the glasses in the box and touched his toothbrush, twisting it around in her fingers. They'd only been dating for a few months when he'd died but it had been long enough for her to fall head over heels in love. She lifted the toothbrush and sniffed it. Even after all this time it still smelt slightly minty. Janet instantly remembered that smell on Daniel's breath when he leaned in to kiss her. She closed her eyes and smiled. At least they'd had a few months… Sam and the Colonel still weren't together.
Putting back the toothbrush she looked into the box – a few books, some aftershave and, in the bottom of the box, a couple of changes of clothes. She'd never opened the aftershave – that smell would be just too evocative. Straight after his death, everything she saw seemed to remind her of Daniel – the gate siren, the other members of SG1, coffee… the list was endless. After a few weeks, Cassie had suggested she should collect together all the stuff he'd left at her place and put it in this box, and there it had stayed in the bottom of her closet, except for a photograph of them together taken the week before he'd died. Janet had refused to put that away, and had left it in pride of place on her bedside table.
And now, a year on, she cried less but the yawning ache was still there, a gaping chasm inside her that wouldn't go away. Cassie had dropped unsubtle hints that she ought to move on, find someone else - she'd even mentioned one of her teachers was single and winked at her mom theatrically – but Janet just wasn't interested. In her mind, no-one could possibly measure up to Daniel. He'd been witty, intelligent, sensitive… accident prone… She smiled to herself. Yes, if he hadn't spent so much time in the infirmary they'd never had got to know each other so well.
The phone rang, disturbing her thoughts. Probably Cassie wanting a ride home, Janet thought as she walked across the room and picked it up. "Hello."
"Doctor Fraiser?"
The Texan accent was unmistakeable. "General Hammond… sir." But why on earth was he calling her at home? There had to have been some kind of disaster on base for him to call her when she was off duty. "What's wrong?"
"Don't panic, Doctor." Hammond's voice was gentle, almost teasing. "For this is one of the few times in recent years I bring good news."
"Sir?" Janet was completely baffled now. She couldn't think of anything good that would warrant an after hours phone call.
"SG1 have found someone…" He hesitated, and Janet thought she heard a slight catch in his voice. "Are you sitting down?" he asked quietly.
She sat down obediently on the edge of the bed. "I'm sitting, sir. Who have they found?" She felt herself becoming impatient, a tiny ray of hope beginning to take root inside her.
"They've found Doctor Jackson, alive and well."
She gasped. Alive? Daniel was alive? Her heart pounded, her mouth went dry, then her world began to spin. Grateful that the General had insisted she sit down, she put her head between her knees. Then she realised that Hammond was still talking. "Sorry, sir. Could you repeat what you just said… I was kind of… overcome for a moment."
"That's perfectly understandable, Doctor. Take all the time you need." She could tell he was smiling, in fact he sounded positively indulgent. "I was just saying that though apparently in good health, Doctor Jackson seems to be suffering from amnesia."
"What does he remember, sir? Does he know who he is?" Janet's stomach lurched. Would he remember her?
"I only have a preliminary report from Major Carter, and she says, no, he doesn't know who he is, nor does he recognise any of his team-mates. They are currently trying to get him to return to the SGC with them."
"Do you need me to come in?"
"Not at this present time, Doctor. It's night where they are so I don't think Doctor Jackson will be coming back within the next few hours. Try and get some rest and I'll see you in the morning. I just thought you'd want to know…"
"Yes, thank you, sir. Good night."
"Good night, Doctor."
Janet replaced the receiver and stared at the box. He was alive. He was alive. She kept repeating those three words over and over like a mantra. He was alive. If she said it enough times perhaps it might become a little more believable. A year ago, she'd watched him die right in front of her eyes and she'd been powerless to do anything to stop it. She'd known something strange had happened at the moment of death, but afterwards, she'd been hard pushed to describe it. There had been a bright light and an overwhelming feeling of peace… and he'd gone.
But now he was back. Would he remember her?
==========
It had been a long night. Janet hadn't slept a wink, wondering what Daniel would be like, if he still looked the same, smelt the same, felt the same. And would he feel the same about her? She still loved him, she loved the man who'd died. What if he'd changed beyond recognition? What if he never got his memory back?
Sitting at her desk, Janet fingered the glasses she'd taken from her box in the closet and placed them carefully in front of her. She'd brought them just in case. He might have some with him, but somehow she doubted if there had been many opticians where he'd been. And god only knew where that was. A noise from the infirmary made her look up. She quickly picked up the glasses and slipped them into her pocket; it'd be tragic to lose them now.
Janet watched from the privacy of her office as the Colonel and Sam led Daniel into the infirmary. Sam had a protective hand on his back, gently pushing him forwards. The concern on their faces was obvious; Sam's glance darted all over the place nervously, presumably looking for her. Janet's heart sank as she watched Daniel look round, as if he'd never set foot in the place before. So he still had amnesia. She took a deep breath and walked out of her office, trying to project more confidence than she felt.
He turned towards her at the sound of her footsteps and Janet's heart almost stopped. Those eyes. Those eyes with no glasses covering them and masking their beauty. Those beautiful blue eyes. She hadn't thought she'd ever see them again. Suddenly she realised she was shaking like a leaf. She knew running up to him and throwing her arms around him was totally out of the question, but boy, did she want to do it. The blue eyes stared at her, without a hint of recognition.
"This is Doctor Janet Fraiser," Sam said. "She's been your physician for five years."
"Yeah," said the Colonel, "You and her are…" He paused when Sam dug him in the ribs with her elbow. "… good friends." The Colonel frowned and shot Sam a look as if to say that was what he'd planned to say all along. Janet didn't believe him and judging by the look on her face, neither did Sam.
Daniel smiled at her. Janet's stomach did a neat little flip-flop. She managed to compose herself enough to give him what felt like a pretty half-hearted smile back. "Hello," he said quietly, still looking her in the eye. She swallowed. That was what she thought of his bedroom voice, all soft and fluid, ready to caress and tease. It brought back memories….
"Hi," she blurted out. What was it she was supposed to do now? Her brain was somewhere else, not in the infirmary… and it appeared to have completely forgotten all of her medical training. She was vaguely aware of Sam and the Colonel leaving them alone.
"So what happens now?" he asked, smiling again and turning her insides to mush.
"I check you over and make sure you're as healthy as you appear to be." Janet looked at him carefully, trying hard to keep her expression neutral. "Don't you remember anything about your life here?"
He shook his head. "No, I don't even remember Sam and Jim."
Janet frowned. She didn't remember Jim either. "Do you mean Jack? Colonel O'Neill?"
"Yes. The tall guy with the bad jokes and the sarcasm. He says I owe him fifty bucks."
She smiled. "I think that's extremely unlikely." He looked her in the eye and grinned and for a split second there seemed to be a flash of something. Something she couldn't quite put her finger on, but something that reminded her forcibly of the old Daniel. The Daniel she loved. For the first time, she began to hope that the Daniel she remembered was still in there somewhere.
========
Somehow or other, she got through the examination, checking him over very carefully. Her hands trembled with barely concealed nervousness every time she had to touch him. She was scared to death he'd notice, but if he did, he was polite enough to keep quiet about it.
Janet had just finished when the Colonel walked in. "Well, I'm happy to say, sir, that he's in perfect health, except for one small exception..." She fished in her pocket and produced Daniel's glasses, the ones she'd cherished for the past year. Handing them to him, she watched as he put them on.
He raised his eyebrows. "Wow, that's different."
Janet smiled to herself as the Colonel attracted Daniel's attention and said, "You recognise me now?"
Daniel peered at the Colonel closely then asked, "Has your hair always been that way?"
O'Neill looked hurt. "What way?"
Daniel kind of shrugged and said, "Never mind."
Watching their banter, Janet waited and hoped that Daniel would ask why she had his glasses. That would be an ideal way to broach the subject of their relationship, but to her dismay he didn't say a word. With a quick 'goodbye' and 'thank you' he just followed the Colonel out of the room.
======
The next morning Janet was sitting at her desk, staring into space. He'd shown no sign of recognising her. None at all. She wasn't sure what to do. She wanted him so badly she could taste it. She wanted to kiss him, feel him, touch him… make love to him. He was so close but so out of reach. She slumped forward and rested her head on her hands.
A soft knock on her open door made her shoot back up to a sitting position. Daniel stood in the doorway, a gentle smile on his face. "Am I interrupting something?" he asked quietly.
"No," Janet stammered. "Haven't been sleeping well. A bit tired, that's all." And that's the understatement of the year, she thought. She'd had two nights of staring at her bedroom ceiling and having erotic fantasies about the man currently standing in front of her. "Come in," she added.
He stepped into the room and walked over to the desk. "Doctor… Janet…" he hesitated. "Did I call you Janet… before?"
She nodded. "Yes."
"Janet." He smiled, as if savouring the word. Janet felt her stomach flutter slightly at the look on his face. "Janet, I meditated with Teal'c for a while last night. I remembered things. But I'm not sure if they're all true. It's all so confused. Images, sounds, snatches of things. Nothing coherent."
She felt her heart lurch. Had he remembered about them? "Yes?" She tried to keep her voice neutral.
"I remembered Sha're. I know she's dead." A flash of pain crossed his features, then he looked her straight in the eyes. "And I remembered you."
"Me?" Janet could hardly get the word out.
"You had my glasses," he said softly. It was a statement, not an accusation. He licked his lips and leant over the desk. She saw him swallow hard, then he reached over and brushed his hand against her cheek. "Please tell me if I've got this wrong."
She shook her head slightly and pushed her head into his hand, increasing the contact. "No, Daniel, you don't have it wrong."
He smiled. That special smile that she liked to think was only for her. "I'm so glad." He moved towards her and brushed her lips gently with his, releasing ripples of sensation through Janet's body. When he pulled back, she let out a sigh at the loss of contact. Janet opened her eyes to find him perched carefully on the edge of her desk, avoiding the piles of paperwork that were covering it. "I still don't remember everything, but I remember loving you, Janet. I'll just need a little time."
Janet suddenly felt giddy, high on life. Wave after wave of relief crashed over her. She wanted to run out into the corridor and shout that Daniel had come back and he still loved her! Standing up quickly, she walked round the desk so she was directly in front of him. "I'll have to try and think of something to jog your memory, won't I?" She grabbed his shirt front and pulled him to her for a bruising kiss. When they broke apart, they were both breathing hard. "Helping any?" she asked playfully.
He grinned. "Kind of… but I think you might need to do it again…"