"Discover Yourself" - Act 10
Disclaimer: The characters of Peter, Sophie, Shelby, Juliette, Scott, Auggie, Daisy, Ezra, and Kat do not belong to me.
"Knowing others is wisdom; Knowing the self is enlightenment; Mastering others requires force; Mastering the self needs strength." - Tao te Ching
Peter and Troy chatted on the way down to the car about John and his family. Peter had been shocked to see the resemblance between Sara and Shelby. "There must be some explanation," Peter mused aloud.
"I don't know, it is uncanny," Troy agreed. Troy looked over at Peter, who seemed to have his mind elsewhere. Deciding to wait to tell Peter about his decision, Troy changed the subject. "So, what's next for our 'Discover Yourself' program?"
Peter forced himself to pay attention to what Troy was saying. "Uh, next up is... a quest. Yeah, I think that's just what our group needs."
"A quest? What is that exactly?" Troy questioned as they approached the car.
Peter didn't respond, but instead picked up his pace toward the car. Sophie was standing outside the car, looking distraught. As Peter and Troy walked up to her, she gave them a half-hearted smile, but it was obvious she'd been crying.
"Soph, what's going on? Where is Shelby?" Peter was getting increasingly worried.
Sophie pointed towards the car. Peter peered in the window and saw Shelby sitting in the backseat, her knees pulled up to her chest, her head bowed and her eyes closed.
"Why don't we get back to Horizon," Sophie stated, motioning for Peter to wait to ask questions. Peter nodded and climbed in the driver's seat. Troy, unsure of what to do until now, hurried to the front passenger seat, glancing back at Shelby with sympathy. It was obvious to him that something had gone awry.
"What are you, my shadow?" Liz glared at Lynn, who had been following her around campus.
Lynn was frustrated, this was not what she'd had in mind when she came for the summer program. "Do you think I enjoy following you around? No! But it seems that thanks to your actions, others have to suffer now. So if anyone here has the right to be annoyed, I'd say it's me." Lynn turned around and started back toward the girls' dorm.
"Lynn, wait!" Liz ran to catch up to her. "You're right, I'm sorry. I guess I didn't think that what Mike and I did would be anyone else's business, or that it would affect anyone else."
Lynn looked at Liz, she genuinely seemed contrite. "Yeah, well, just make it easy on the rest of us and keep your hormones in check," she said, giving Liz a smile.
Liz smiled back, nodding. "Agreed. Besides, I do want to stay here for the rest of the program. It's been interesting so far, to say the least," Liz said with a giggle.
Lynn threw her a warning look as they entered the dorm. "Ali, are you in there?" Lynn knocked on the bathroom door. After not receiving an answer, Lynn opened the door - no Ali. "I wonder where she is."
Ali took aim, and - whoosh - the ball went through the hoop. She was startled to hear clapping behind her.
"Nice shot. Nothin' but net," Mike admired as he walked up to her. "Do you play often?"
Ali blushed at the compliment, giving Mike a shy smile. "I used to play in high school, but I quit after that. I miss it, though." *Yeah, and if I'd stuck with it, I probably wouldn't have gained all this weight,* she thought miserably.
"Well, how about a game of one-on-one?" Mike proposed.
"Sure," Ali shrugged. She was still attracted to Mike, but she knew what had happened with him and Liz. *I don't have a snowball's chance in hell now,* she reasoned.
Mike was surprised at Ali's agility, since she seemed to have trouble on the hike. Before long, she was beating Mike by 6 points. Mike decided to get a little more physical and took a swat at the ball, but instead hit her arm.
"Foul!" she laughed, not even complaining about her arm, surprising Mike even more. He agreed to the foul and watched her take her shots.
Ali could feel Mike's eyes on her, and felt her face grow hot. She was surprised that she felt so at ease around him. Normally, she was stumbling over her words around guys she was attracted to.
Mike took the ball out next, then tried to duck around Ali. She surprised him by moving into his path, and they collided, sending Ali to the ground.
"Are you okay?" Mike asked with concern, offering her a hand.
"Yeah, I'm fine," she smiled meekly as she let him pull her up, until they were standing face-to-face.
"That was a hard fall," Mike lamented, looking into her eyes.
"Uh-huh." Ali was breathing a little hard, trying to recover from having the wind knocked out of her when she fell. Before she knew what was happening, Mike leaned in and kissed her. Ali started to kiss him back, before pulling away.
"What's wrong? I thought you wanted me to do that." Mike was hoping he hadn't freaked her out, he really did like Ali. She seemed genuinely sweet.
"Yes, I mean no, I mean..." Ali tried to pull her thoughts together. "I thought you were with Liz," she finally said, confused.
Mike shrugged. "Actually, she pursued me, so I just kind of gave in. Now, she doesn't want to have anything to do with me. Go figure." He paused, noticing Ali giving him a strange look. "Hey, I know that probably makes me sound like a bad guy. I'm weak, what can I say. But you, you're different than Liz. She seems flighty, ya know? I can tell you're more mature." He moved closer to her, waiting for a reaction.
Ali's mind was reeling as she tried to make sense of what was going on. *He's right, Liz is pretty flighty. And he actually wants me.* She looked at Mike, who smiled at her. *I'm sick of being the good little girl,* she thought suddenly.
She stepped forward and kissed Mike, surprising him a bit. They stood on the basketball court, kissing for awhile, until Mike stepped back and smiled at her. This time, he was the one a bit out of breath.
"Damn, you're a good kisser," he said, before starting to kiss her neck.
"I - uh - thanks," Ali murmured, feeling as if she were floating. Before long, Mike's mouth found its way back to Ali's, and they were once again kissing. Ali was now very eager, running her hands through Mike's thick hair. Mike slowly moved his hand up to cup Ali's breast, causing her to moan, as they kissed more ardently.
Suddenly, they both heard the sound of a car and pulled apart slightly. Then, they heard a car door shut, and regretfully pulled apart further.
"Shit," Mike muttered, noticeably excited. "I bet that's Troy, back from the hospital. That means no more free time for me today." He had already caught on to Troy keeping tabs on him.
Ali was disappointed as well but didn't voice it. She wondered if Mike would still be interested in her later, or if this was just a one-time thing. "Maybe we can get together another time," she said hopefully.
Mike smiled and gave her a quick kiss. "Yeah, I'd like that." He grinned as he trotted off to his dorm, leaving Ali in a happy daze.
Troy was walking to the girls' dorm when he spotted Ali standing on the basketball court. "Ali!" he waved. She looked over at him and waved back, then started to walk toward him. He noticed that she seemed different somehow. She had a big smile plastered on her face, but it wasn't her usual forced smile - this one seemed genuine.
"Hi, Troy," she greeted him enthusiastically. Ali wondered if her hair was messed up at all and suddenly became more self-conscious, folding her arms across her chest. "What's up?" she asked, a bit calmer.
"Well, I just returned from the hospital. John is doing better and will be going home soon." Ali nodded and smiled. "Peter said to pass on to everyone that we'd meet after dinner. He and Sophie had to take care of an emergency situation." Troy thought back to the car ride, and was almost positive that Shelby was that emergency situation. "I think we're going on some sort of hike tomorrow, Peter called it a quest. He said he'd fill us in tonight."
Ali groaned inwardly. It would be more difficult for her and Mike to be alone if the group was all stuck out in the woods on a hike. "Okay, I'll tell Lynn and Liz. I was just getting ready to go back to our dorm."
"Thanks. I'll tell Mike. Have you seen him?" Troy asked. He noticed Ali blush, which just confused him.
"Ah, I think he's in your dorm," she answered, once again smiling broadly.
"Thanks," Troy answered before heading towards the dorm. *I wonder what that was about.*
Sophie sighed as the car pulled up to their house. Shelby had remained in the same position for the entire ride home from the hospital, not saying a word. Sophie still hadn't had a chance to tell Peter about her physical, she didn't want to bring it up in front of Shelby. She made eye contact with Peter in the rearview mirror, and held up her hand, indicating for him to hold off on any questions. He gave her a slight nod in return.
"Shelby, we're home," Sophie said softly, touching Shelby's shoulder.
Shelby's eyes flew open, a look of terror in them, as she scooted away from Sophie in the backseat. Slowly, she realized with relief that it was Sophie that had touched her shoulder. She hadn't meant to fall asleep on the way home, but she did, and she had the same awful nightmare that she'd been having ever since it happened. She wondered if she'd made any noise while she'd been asleep.
"Come on, sweetie, let's go inside." Peter got out of the car as Sophie held out her hand to Shelby, who tentatively took Sophie's hand and allowed Sophie to lead her into the house. Shelby wouldn't look at Sophie, but went straight to her room and shut the door.
"What's going on?" Peter demanded, but Sophie motioned for him to follow her back outside. Once on the porch, Sophie let go of all the emotions she'd been keeping inside, ever since being in the doctor's office with Shelby. She sobbed, for Shelby and her pain, and for the cruelty that existed in the world, as Peter held her. She finally pulled back, trying to take deep breaths to calm herself. "Oh, Peter - it's awful. Shelby's been raped."
"What?!? By whom?" Peter had thought Shelby was hiding something, but not something as horrible as this.
"I don't know," Sophie said, as her eyes again welled up with tears. "She hasn't spoken since she tried to get away from us at the hospital." Sophie straightened up all of a sudden. "Peter, you don't think she'd harm herself, do you?" Not waiting for an answer, she flew back into the house, with Peter following. Sophie knocked on the bedroom door. "Shelby? I'm going to come in, okay?" Not getting a reply, Sophie opened the door - Shelby was nowhere to be found.
Sophie ran over to the window. "Peter, it's open - she ran!" Sophie started to head out the door, but Peter stopped her. "What are you doing? We have to go look for her!"
Peter grabbed Sophie's arms so she was looking him in the eyes. "Soph, you need to calm down first of all. We will be no good to Shelby if we are emotional messes ourselves." She nodded but started to tear up again. Peter kissed her forehead and pulled her into a hug. "Second, I don't think she ran. All her stuff is still here, see?" He pointed to the pile of bags Shelby had brought with her. "Maybe she just needs some time alone, and she knew that we wouldn't give that to her until she talked to us. Maybe she's not ready to talk." *Please, God, let me be right. Watch over Shelby, and don't let her run away,* Peter prayed silently.
Shelby ran until the house was out of sight, stopping to catch her breath. She didn't want to worry Peter and Sophie, but she couldn't take being cooped up in that house. And she knew that they wouldn't let her out of their sight, now that they knew.
*Damn! I didn't want them to find out. Why did this have to happen? Why did ANY of the things in my life have to happen?* Shelby blinked back tears as she walked toward the Horizon campus. She walked past the lake and the dock where she and Scott had their nightly rendezvous. She wiped away tears, a part of her wishing he were here, but another part of her glad he wasn't. She didn't ever want him to ever know about Glenn, and what he'd done to her.
*It shouldn't even matter,* she thought bitterly. *After all the times Walt abused me, and all the guys I took money from...* But deep down, she knew it did matter. Even worse, she had lost some of her trust for Peter. It was nothing he had done, but it made her sad to think about it. *I made the mistake of trusting Glenn, partly because he reminded me of Peter. And look what happened.* She shook her head, trying to clear her mind. *No, I can't let myself trust Peter. And Scott will be better off if he just stays away from me.*
Walking onto the main part of campus, Shelby spotted the bear statue - her bear. She walked over to it and climbed into its arms, pulling her knees to her chest, as she'd done in the past.
Troy and Mike were walking to the main lodge for dinner, when Mike noticed a figure on the bear statue. "Hey, what is she doing there?" he asked before remembering that no one else knew he'd already met Shelby. Mike started toward the statue.
"Don't!" Troy stopped Mike in his tracks. "Let's leave her alone for now, okay?"
Mike shrugged. "Whatever, man." They continued toward the main lodge, as Troy glanced back at Shelby and wondered if Peter and Sophie knew where she was.
Peter and Sophie rode in a tense silence to campus. Shelby was still nowhere to be found, but Peter had to meet with the summer group about the quest. Sophie decided to go with him and look around campus for Shelby.
As the car pulled up to the main lodge, Troy and Mike approached. "Hey," Mike said in his usual laid-back manner.
"Did you know Shelby's here?" Troy asked cautiously, not wanting to pry.
"She is?!? Where is she?" Peter and Sophie's relief were apparent.
"Over on the bear statue." Mike was puzzled over everyone's concern. "She's okay, she's just sitting there."
Sophie started to walk in the direction of the statue, but Peter stopped her. "Hey, guys, thanks for the information. Why don't you go on inside and get dinner, I'll be in there in a few minutes."
Once Troy and Mike were out of earshot, Peter and Sophie discussed the best way to deal with Shelby. They quickly decided on a plan, and Peter left Sophie to go into the lodge.
"Alright, gang, listen up." Peter clapped his hands to get the other five people's attention in the dining room. He observed the three women at one table, and the two men at another table. They all stopped their conversations and turned their attention toward Peter.
"We're one person less, unfortunately, but we're still going to make this program work. I apologize for leaving you in the lurch earlier today, Sophie and I had to take care of some other matters. She's actually still taking care of them, so I have the sole pleasure of filling you in on quest details." Peter smiled as he started to describe what the next few days would be like for them.
Sophie slowly drew near the bear statue, a notebook in her hand. She deliberately made some noise so that Shelby would notice her approaching. The last thing she wanted to do was startle Shelby.
Shelby looked up at the sound of crunching gravel and spotted Sophie coming close. *Great,* she thought, *they couldn't leave me alone.* She put her head back down as Sophie stopped at the statue. Sophie dropped something, then Shelby listened in confusion as Sophie walked away. After a few minutes, Shelby lifted her head up again and looked around - there was no sign of Sophie anywhere. Her curiosity getting the best of her, Shelby climbed off the statue to see what Sophie had dropped. She noticed a notebook and pen on the ground, which she picked up and opened. Inside the notebook was Sophie's handwriting. Shelby began to read:
Dear Shelby,
You seem to need your own space right now. For once, Peter and I are willing to give that to you instead of insisting you talk to us.
Shelby, I cannot pretend to know what you are going through right now. The important thing is for you to sort out your feelings and not let them take control. Peter and I are both here for you when you are ready to talk.
I'm sure you know that we are required to notify the authorities and your mother about this, but we wanted to wait to do that. We are hoping that you will tell us who did this horrible thing to you, and that you will let us help you heal. You've come so far already. Please remember - you are a survivor, not a victim.
While Peter and I respect your need for alone time, we must set some guidelines for you to abide by. We are taking the summer group on a quest for the next few days. You are expected to come with all of us, so be ready in the morning. Peter and I are in a meeting right now with the group. We will pick up some leftovers from dinner for you, but from now on it will be your responsibility to make it to all meals in the dining room with the rest of us.
Lastly, while I don't want to encourage you to stay silent, I know that sometimes it is easier for me to write down things rather than say them. I thought that you might feel the same way. So, consider this your journal, only I will be reading your entries. You can write to me, write to yourself, or write whatever you'd like. Of course, you may also keep your own private journal, but I want you to write at least two entries in here every day. If you run out of topics, I can provide those for you, but I have a feeling you'd rather provide your own.
Please meet us by the car for a ride back to our house.
Sophie
Shelby put down the notebook and sighed, brushing away tears from her eyes. She thought for a moment, then picked up the pen and began to write.
"Peter, do you have a minute?" Troy asked after the quest meeting concluded.
"Sure, Troy, what's up?" Peter had a feeling he knew what Troy wanted to talk to him about.
"Well," Troy hesitated, then smiled, "I think I'd really like to be a counselor here. How can I apply for the position?"
Peter smiled and extended his hand. "That's great, Troy. I can get you the application tomorrow, but from what you've told me already about your experiences outdoors and teaching, I think you'd be a perfect match for Horizon."
Troy shook Peter's hand, grinning. "Yeah, I agree." He paused, frowning. "Now, I just have to tell my parents that Claire and I may be moving. Oh, well, they can come and visit."
"Troy, I need to get going, but that's great news. I'll see you tomorrow morning, bright and early." Peter patted Troy on the back as he left.
Troy couldn't stop smiling, he was elated. His decision just felt so right. He only wished his wife were here to share in his happiness. *She would've liked working here, too,* he thought sadly. Spotting Mike and Ali walking out of the corner of his eye, he remembered his promise to Peter, and set out after Mike.
"Great, he caught up to us," Mike said softly, so Troy wouldn't hear. "Guess we have no chance of being alone for awhile. Sorry about that, my fault." He grinned at Ali.
She shook her head, still not believing that he was choosing to be with her. "That's alright, maybe we'll get a break tomorrow." She headed off to her dorm, leaving Mike waiting for Troy. *This is so unlike me,* she thought, *but it feels great!*
Lynn and Liz were already back at the dorm, packing for the next few days. "I can't believe we each have to be alone for an entire day," Liz groaned. "What am I supposed to do on this 'solo' thing?"
Lynn resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "Maybe you'll actually think and learn something new about yourself. Come on, it could be fun."
"Yeah, what's fun about being outside for three days, with bugs and dirt and no bathroom?" Liz continued to whine as Ali walked into the dorm. "Hey, you're in a good mood for just finding out we have to tramp through the wilderness for three days. What gives?" Liz asked suspiciously.
Ali smiled. "Oh, nothing. I just had a good day, that's all."
"Hmm, I would have thought you'd be dreading this trip, since you had trouble on the one-day hike," Liz commented.
"Liz!" Lynn glared at Liz, then looked at Ali, who was no longer smiling. Ali went into the bathroom and slammed the door.
"What?" Liz asked innocently.
"That was a cruel thing to say. You should apologize to Ali." Lynn was furious, but didn't want to tell Liz about Ali's food issues.
"Why? It's the truth. I didn't do anything wrong." She frowned, uncertain now what exactly she had done wrong. "Whatever, I'm going to bed," she muttered, not wanting to talk to Lynn or Ali anymore.
*Fine by me,* Lynn thought. She wondered if she should check on Ali, but Ali then walked out of the bathroom.
"Are you okay?" Lynn asked softly, hoping Liz wouldn't put in her two cents.
"Yeah, fine, why shouldn't I be?" Ali forced a smile, not giving Lynn a chance to respond. "I'm beat. I need to get to bed to be ready for tomorrow. 'Night, Lynn, Liz."
Lynn sighed as she climbed into bed. *This should be an interesting few days,* she thought.
Sophie and Peter were preparing for bed, each lost in their own thoughts. Shelby had met them as asked, and they drove home in silence. Sophie had helped her pack for the quest, but neither had said a word. Sophie was hoping that Shelby would write something in the notebook that night, but she didn't want to push Shelby. It had been a very trying day on all of them.
As Peter went into the bathroom, Sophie heard something. She turned around to see that the notebook had been slid under the door. Picking it up, Sophie started to read Shelby's entry:
Dear Sophie,
You are right about some things being easier to write than speak out loud.
I know you and Peter want to help me, and I know it was probably hard for you to give me my space, but I appreciate that you did leave me alone, at least for a little while. I'm sure you're not thrilled that I've just shown up on your doorstep and ruined any summer plans the two of you had, and now I've brought along my emotional baggage with me that you have to deal with. Sorry about that. I'll try to help out as much as I can, and stay out of your way.
I knew you'd have to report everything to the authorities. There's no use telling my mom, because she doesn't believe me. It was Glenn, my mom's new boyfriend. I told her, and she said I was a liar and a slut. Maybe she's right. Anyway, it turns out that Glenn also stole money from his employer, so he skipped town. The police haven't been able to find him, so it won't matter what he did to me.
Sophie, I know that Peter will want to know the details and everything, but I would appreciate it if you were the only one to read these entries that you're making me do. I can't explain why, I would just feel more comfortable that way.
And don't worry, I haven't become a selective mute. I'll talk tomorrow, I just can't promise how much.
Shelby
Next time:
- Lynn and Troy grow closer.
- Will Mike and Ali get together?
- Shelby clashes with one of the summer program participants.
Disclaimer: The characters of Peter, Sophie, Shelby, Juliette, Scott, Auggie, Daisy, Ezra, and Kat do not belong to me.
"Knowing others is wisdom; Knowing the self is enlightenment; Mastering others requires force; Mastering the self needs strength." - Tao te Ching
Peter and Troy chatted on the way down to the car about John and his family. Peter had been shocked to see the resemblance between Sara and Shelby. "There must be some explanation," Peter mused aloud.
"I don't know, it is uncanny," Troy agreed. Troy looked over at Peter, who seemed to have his mind elsewhere. Deciding to wait to tell Peter about his decision, Troy changed the subject. "So, what's next for our 'Discover Yourself' program?"
Peter forced himself to pay attention to what Troy was saying. "Uh, next up is... a quest. Yeah, I think that's just what our group needs."
"A quest? What is that exactly?" Troy questioned as they approached the car.
Peter didn't respond, but instead picked up his pace toward the car. Sophie was standing outside the car, looking distraught. As Peter and Troy walked up to her, she gave them a half-hearted smile, but it was obvious she'd been crying.
"Soph, what's going on? Where is Shelby?" Peter was getting increasingly worried.
Sophie pointed towards the car. Peter peered in the window and saw Shelby sitting in the backseat, her knees pulled up to her chest, her head bowed and her eyes closed.
"Why don't we get back to Horizon," Sophie stated, motioning for Peter to wait to ask questions. Peter nodded and climbed in the driver's seat. Troy, unsure of what to do until now, hurried to the front passenger seat, glancing back at Shelby with sympathy. It was obvious to him that something had gone awry.
"What are you, my shadow?" Liz glared at Lynn, who had been following her around campus.
Lynn was frustrated, this was not what she'd had in mind when she came for the summer program. "Do you think I enjoy following you around? No! But it seems that thanks to your actions, others have to suffer now. So if anyone here has the right to be annoyed, I'd say it's me." Lynn turned around and started back toward the girls' dorm.
"Lynn, wait!" Liz ran to catch up to her. "You're right, I'm sorry. I guess I didn't think that what Mike and I did would be anyone else's business, or that it would affect anyone else."
Lynn looked at Liz, she genuinely seemed contrite. "Yeah, well, just make it easy on the rest of us and keep your hormones in check," she said, giving Liz a smile.
Liz smiled back, nodding. "Agreed. Besides, I do want to stay here for the rest of the program. It's been interesting so far, to say the least," Liz said with a giggle.
Lynn threw her a warning look as they entered the dorm. "Ali, are you in there?" Lynn knocked on the bathroom door. After not receiving an answer, Lynn opened the door - no Ali. "I wonder where she is."
Ali took aim, and - whoosh - the ball went through the hoop. She was startled to hear clapping behind her.
"Nice shot. Nothin' but net," Mike admired as he walked up to her. "Do you play often?"
Ali blushed at the compliment, giving Mike a shy smile. "I used to play in high school, but I quit after that. I miss it, though." *Yeah, and if I'd stuck with it, I probably wouldn't have gained all this weight,* she thought miserably.
"Well, how about a game of one-on-one?" Mike proposed.
"Sure," Ali shrugged. She was still attracted to Mike, but she knew what had happened with him and Liz. *I don't have a snowball's chance in hell now,* she reasoned.
Mike was surprised at Ali's agility, since she seemed to have trouble on the hike. Before long, she was beating Mike by 6 points. Mike decided to get a little more physical and took a swat at the ball, but instead hit her arm.
"Foul!" she laughed, not even complaining about her arm, surprising Mike even more. He agreed to the foul and watched her take her shots.
Ali could feel Mike's eyes on her, and felt her face grow hot. She was surprised that she felt so at ease around him. Normally, she was stumbling over her words around guys she was attracted to.
Mike took the ball out next, then tried to duck around Ali. She surprised him by moving into his path, and they collided, sending Ali to the ground.
"Are you okay?" Mike asked with concern, offering her a hand.
"Yeah, I'm fine," she smiled meekly as she let him pull her up, until they were standing face-to-face.
"That was a hard fall," Mike lamented, looking into her eyes.
"Uh-huh." Ali was breathing a little hard, trying to recover from having the wind knocked out of her when she fell. Before she knew what was happening, Mike leaned in and kissed her. Ali started to kiss him back, before pulling away.
"What's wrong? I thought you wanted me to do that." Mike was hoping he hadn't freaked her out, he really did like Ali. She seemed genuinely sweet.
"Yes, I mean no, I mean..." Ali tried to pull her thoughts together. "I thought you were with Liz," she finally said, confused.
Mike shrugged. "Actually, she pursued me, so I just kind of gave in. Now, she doesn't want to have anything to do with me. Go figure." He paused, noticing Ali giving him a strange look. "Hey, I know that probably makes me sound like a bad guy. I'm weak, what can I say. But you, you're different than Liz. She seems flighty, ya know? I can tell you're more mature." He moved closer to her, waiting for a reaction.
Ali's mind was reeling as she tried to make sense of what was going on. *He's right, Liz is pretty flighty. And he actually wants me.* She looked at Mike, who smiled at her. *I'm sick of being the good little girl,* she thought suddenly.
She stepped forward and kissed Mike, surprising him a bit. They stood on the basketball court, kissing for awhile, until Mike stepped back and smiled at her. This time, he was the one a bit out of breath.
"Damn, you're a good kisser," he said, before starting to kiss her neck.
"I - uh - thanks," Ali murmured, feeling as if she were floating. Before long, Mike's mouth found its way back to Ali's, and they were once again kissing. Ali was now very eager, running her hands through Mike's thick hair. Mike slowly moved his hand up to cup Ali's breast, causing her to moan, as they kissed more ardently.
Suddenly, they both heard the sound of a car and pulled apart slightly. Then, they heard a car door shut, and regretfully pulled apart further.
"Shit," Mike muttered, noticeably excited. "I bet that's Troy, back from the hospital. That means no more free time for me today." He had already caught on to Troy keeping tabs on him.
Ali was disappointed as well but didn't voice it. She wondered if Mike would still be interested in her later, or if this was just a one-time thing. "Maybe we can get together another time," she said hopefully.
Mike smiled and gave her a quick kiss. "Yeah, I'd like that." He grinned as he trotted off to his dorm, leaving Ali in a happy daze.
Troy was walking to the girls' dorm when he spotted Ali standing on the basketball court. "Ali!" he waved. She looked over at him and waved back, then started to walk toward him. He noticed that she seemed different somehow. She had a big smile plastered on her face, but it wasn't her usual forced smile - this one seemed genuine.
"Hi, Troy," she greeted him enthusiastically. Ali wondered if her hair was messed up at all and suddenly became more self-conscious, folding her arms across her chest. "What's up?" she asked, a bit calmer.
"Well, I just returned from the hospital. John is doing better and will be going home soon." Ali nodded and smiled. "Peter said to pass on to everyone that we'd meet after dinner. He and Sophie had to take care of an emergency situation." Troy thought back to the car ride, and was almost positive that Shelby was that emergency situation. "I think we're going on some sort of hike tomorrow, Peter called it a quest. He said he'd fill us in tonight."
Ali groaned inwardly. It would be more difficult for her and Mike to be alone if the group was all stuck out in the woods on a hike. "Okay, I'll tell Lynn and Liz. I was just getting ready to go back to our dorm."
"Thanks. I'll tell Mike. Have you seen him?" Troy asked. He noticed Ali blush, which just confused him.
"Ah, I think he's in your dorm," she answered, once again smiling broadly.
"Thanks," Troy answered before heading towards the dorm. *I wonder what that was about.*
Sophie sighed as the car pulled up to their house. Shelby had remained in the same position for the entire ride home from the hospital, not saying a word. Sophie still hadn't had a chance to tell Peter about her physical, she didn't want to bring it up in front of Shelby. She made eye contact with Peter in the rearview mirror, and held up her hand, indicating for him to hold off on any questions. He gave her a slight nod in return.
"Shelby, we're home," Sophie said softly, touching Shelby's shoulder.
Shelby's eyes flew open, a look of terror in them, as she scooted away from Sophie in the backseat. Slowly, she realized with relief that it was Sophie that had touched her shoulder. She hadn't meant to fall asleep on the way home, but she did, and she had the same awful nightmare that she'd been having ever since it happened. She wondered if she'd made any noise while she'd been asleep.
"Come on, sweetie, let's go inside." Peter got out of the car as Sophie held out her hand to Shelby, who tentatively took Sophie's hand and allowed Sophie to lead her into the house. Shelby wouldn't look at Sophie, but went straight to her room and shut the door.
"What's going on?" Peter demanded, but Sophie motioned for him to follow her back outside. Once on the porch, Sophie let go of all the emotions she'd been keeping inside, ever since being in the doctor's office with Shelby. She sobbed, for Shelby and her pain, and for the cruelty that existed in the world, as Peter held her. She finally pulled back, trying to take deep breaths to calm herself. "Oh, Peter - it's awful. Shelby's been raped."
"What?!? By whom?" Peter had thought Shelby was hiding something, but not something as horrible as this.
"I don't know," Sophie said, as her eyes again welled up with tears. "She hasn't spoken since she tried to get away from us at the hospital." Sophie straightened up all of a sudden. "Peter, you don't think she'd harm herself, do you?" Not waiting for an answer, she flew back into the house, with Peter following. Sophie knocked on the bedroom door. "Shelby? I'm going to come in, okay?" Not getting a reply, Sophie opened the door - Shelby was nowhere to be found.
Sophie ran over to the window. "Peter, it's open - she ran!" Sophie started to head out the door, but Peter stopped her. "What are you doing? We have to go look for her!"
Peter grabbed Sophie's arms so she was looking him in the eyes. "Soph, you need to calm down first of all. We will be no good to Shelby if we are emotional messes ourselves." She nodded but started to tear up again. Peter kissed her forehead and pulled her into a hug. "Second, I don't think she ran. All her stuff is still here, see?" He pointed to the pile of bags Shelby had brought with her. "Maybe she just needs some time alone, and she knew that we wouldn't give that to her until she talked to us. Maybe she's not ready to talk." *Please, God, let me be right. Watch over Shelby, and don't let her run away,* Peter prayed silently.
Shelby ran until the house was out of sight, stopping to catch her breath. She didn't want to worry Peter and Sophie, but she couldn't take being cooped up in that house. And she knew that they wouldn't let her out of their sight, now that they knew.
*Damn! I didn't want them to find out. Why did this have to happen? Why did ANY of the things in my life have to happen?* Shelby blinked back tears as she walked toward the Horizon campus. She walked past the lake and the dock where she and Scott had their nightly rendezvous. She wiped away tears, a part of her wishing he were here, but another part of her glad he wasn't. She didn't ever want him to ever know about Glenn, and what he'd done to her.
*It shouldn't even matter,* she thought bitterly. *After all the times Walt abused me, and all the guys I took money from...* But deep down, she knew it did matter. Even worse, she had lost some of her trust for Peter. It was nothing he had done, but it made her sad to think about it. *I made the mistake of trusting Glenn, partly because he reminded me of Peter. And look what happened.* She shook her head, trying to clear her mind. *No, I can't let myself trust Peter. And Scott will be better off if he just stays away from me.*
Walking onto the main part of campus, Shelby spotted the bear statue - her bear. She walked over to it and climbed into its arms, pulling her knees to her chest, as she'd done in the past.
Troy and Mike were walking to the main lodge for dinner, when Mike noticed a figure on the bear statue. "Hey, what is she doing there?" he asked before remembering that no one else knew he'd already met Shelby. Mike started toward the statue.
"Don't!" Troy stopped Mike in his tracks. "Let's leave her alone for now, okay?"
Mike shrugged. "Whatever, man." They continued toward the main lodge, as Troy glanced back at Shelby and wondered if Peter and Sophie knew where she was.
Peter and Sophie rode in a tense silence to campus. Shelby was still nowhere to be found, but Peter had to meet with the summer group about the quest. Sophie decided to go with him and look around campus for Shelby.
As the car pulled up to the main lodge, Troy and Mike approached. "Hey," Mike said in his usual laid-back manner.
"Did you know Shelby's here?" Troy asked cautiously, not wanting to pry.
"She is?!? Where is she?" Peter and Sophie's relief were apparent.
"Over on the bear statue." Mike was puzzled over everyone's concern. "She's okay, she's just sitting there."
Sophie started to walk in the direction of the statue, but Peter stopped her. "Hey, guys, thanks for the information. Why don't you go on inside and get dinner, I'll be in there in a few minutes."
Once Troy and Mike were out of earshot, Peter and Sophie discussed the best way to deal with Shelby. They quickly decided on a plan, and Peter left Sophie to go into the lodge.
"Alright, gang, listen up." Peter clapped his hands to get the other five people's attention in the dining room. He observed the three women at one table, and the two men at another table. They all stopped their conversations and turned their attention toward Peter.
"We're one person less, unfortunately, but we're still going to make this program work. I apologize for leaving you in the lurch earlier today, Sophie and I had to take care of some other matters. She's actually still taking care of them, so I have the sole pleasure of filling you in on quest details." Peter smiled as he started to describe what the next few days would be like for them.
Sophie slowly drew near the bear statue, a notebook in her hand. She deliberately made some noise so that Shelby would notice her approaching. The last thing she wanted to do was startle Shelby.
Shelby looked up at the sound of crunching gravel and spotted Sophie coming close. *Great,* she thought, *they couldn't leave me alone.* She put her head back down as Sophie stopped at the statue. Sophie dropped something, then Shelby listened in confusion as Sophie walked away. After a few minutes, Shelby lifted her head up again and looked around - there was no sign of Sophie anywhere. Her curiosity getting the best of her, Shelby climbed off the statue to see what Sophie had dropped. She noticed a notebook and pen on the ground, which she picked up and opened. Inside the notebook was Sophie's handwriting. Shelby began to read:
Dear Shelby,
You seem to need your own space right now. For once, Peter and I are willing to give that to you instead of insisting you talk to us.
Shelby, I cannot pretend to know what you are going through right now. The important thing is for you to sort out your feelings and not let them take control. Peter and I are both here for you when you are ready to talk.
I'm sure you know that we are required to notify the authorities and your mother about this, but we wanted to wait to do that. We are hoping that you will tell us who did this horrible thing to you, and that you will let us help you heal. You've come so far already. Please remember - you are a survivor, not a victim.
While Peter and I respect your need for alone time, we must set some guidelines for you to abide by. We are taking the summer group on a quest for the next few days. You are expected to come with all of us, so be ready in the morning. Peter and I are in a meeting right now with the group. We will pick up some leftovers from dinner for you, but from now on it will be your responsibility to make it to all meals in the dining room with the rest of us.
Lastly, while I don't want to encourage you to stay silent, I know that sometimes it is easier for me to write down things rather than say them. I thought that you might feel the same way. So, consider this your journal, only I will be reading your entries. You can write to me, write to yourself, or write whatever you'd like. Of course, you may also keep your own private journal, but I want you to write at least two entries in here every day. If you run out of topics, I can provide those for you, but I have a feeling you'd rather provide your own.
Please meet us by the car for a ride back to our house.
Sophie
Shelby put down the notebook and sighed, brushing away tears from her eyes. She thought for a moment, then picked up the pen and began to write.
"Peter, do you have a minute?" Troy asked after the quest meeting concluded.
"Sure, Troy, what's up?" Peter had a feeling he knew what Troy wanted to talk to him about.
"Well," Troy hesitated, then smiled, "I think I'd really like to be a counselor here. How can I apply for the position?"
Peter smiled and extended his hand. "That's great, Troy. I can get you the application tomorrow, but from what you've told me already about your experiences outdoors and teaching, I think you'd be a perfect match for Horizon."
Troy shook Peter's hand, grinning. "Yeah, I agree." He paused, frowning. "Now, I just have to tell my parents that Claire and I may be moving. Oh, well, they can come and visit."
"Troy, I need to get going, but that's great news. I'll see you tomorrow morning, bright and early." Peter patted Troy on the back as he left.
Troy couldn't stop smiling, he was elated. His decision just felt so right. He only wished his wife were here to share in his happiness. *She would've liked working here, too,* he thought sadly. Spotting Mike and Ali walking out of the corner of his eye, he remembered his promise to Peter, and set out after Mike.
"Great, he caught up to us," Mike said softly, so Troy wouldn't hear. "Guess we have no chance of being alone for awhile. Sorry about that, my fault." He grinned at Ali.
She shook her head, still not believing that he was choosing to be with her. "That's alright, maybe we'll get a break tomorrow." She headed off to her dorm, leaving Mike waiting for Troy. *This is so unlike me,* she thought, *but it feels great!*
Lynn and Liz were already back at the dorm, packing for the next few days. "I can't believe we each have to be alone for an entire day," Liz groaned. "What am I supposed to do on this 'solo' thing?"
Lynn resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "Maybe you'll actually think and learn something new about yourself. Come on, it could be fun."
"Yeah, what's fun about being outside for three days, with bugs and dirt and no bathroom?" Liz continued to whine as Ali walked into the dorm. "Hey, you're in a good mood for just finding out we have to tramp through the wilderness for three days. What gives?" Liz asked suspiciously.
Ali smiled. "Oh, nothing. I just had a good day, that's all."
"Hmm, I would have thought you'd be dreading this trip, since you had trouble on the one-day hike," Liz commented.
"Liz!" Lynn glared at Liz, then looked at Ali, who was no longer smiling. Ali went into the bathroom and slammed the door.
"What?" Liz asked innocently.
"That was a cruel thing to say. You should apologize to Ali." Lynn was furious, but didn't want to tell Liz about Ali's food issues.
"Why? It's the truth. I didn't do anything wrong." She frowned, uncertain now what exactly she had done wrong. "Whatever, I'm going to bed," she muttered, not wanting to talk to Lynn or Ali anymore.
*Fine by me,* Lynn thought. She wondered if she should check on Ali, but Ali then walked out of the bathroom.
"Are you okay?" Lynn asked softly, hoping Liz wouldn't put in her two cents.
"Yeah, fine, why shouldn't I be?" Ali forced a smile, not giving Lynn a chance to respond. "I'm beat. I need to get to bed to be ready for tomorrow. 'Night, Lynn, Liz."
Lynn sighed as she climbed into bed. *This should be an interesting few days,* she thought.
Sophie and Peter were preparing for bed, each lost in their own thoughts. Shelby had met them as asked, and they drove home in silence. Sophie had helped her pack for the quest, but neither had said a word. Sophie was hoping that Shelby would write something in the notebook that night, but she didn't want to push Shelby. It had been a very trying day on all of them.
As Peter went into the bathroom, Sophie heard something. She turned around to see that the notebook had been slid under the door. Picking it up, Sophie started to read Shelby's entry:
Dear Sophie,
You are right about some things being easier to write than speak out loud.
I know you and Peter want to help me, and I know it was probably hard for you to give me my space, but I appreciate that you did leave me alone, at least for a little while. I'm sure you're not thrilled that I've just shown up on your doorstep and ruined any summer plans the two of you had, and now I've brought along my emotional baggage with me that you have to deal with. Sorry about that. I'll try to help out as much as I can, and stay out of your way.
I knew you'd have to report everything to the authorities. There's no use telling my mom, because she doesn't believe me. It was Glenn, my mom's new boyfriend. I told her, and she said I was a liar and a slut. Maybe she's right. Anyway, it turns out that Glenn also stole money from his employer, so he skipped town. The police haven't been able to find him, so it won't matter what he did to me.
Sophie, I know that Peter will want to know the details and everything, but I would appreciate it if you were the only one to read these entries that you're making me do. I can't explain why, I would just feel more comfortable that way.
And don't worry, I haven't become a selective mute. I'll talk tomorrow, I just can't promise how much.
Shelby
Next time:
- Lynn and Troy grow closer.
- Will Mike and Ali get together?
- Shelby clashes with one of the summer program participants.